To think he should buy a new fucking engagement ring!?

(345 Posts)
BlueSuedeStiletto Sat 17-Nov-12 23:48:53

I got a text from my ex fiance this morning saying:

"Hiya, this might sound a bit weird, but can I have the engagement ring back?? Think I may have found a new recipient!"

My face was like this shock.

I've not seen him for a while- since I picked the last of my stuff up- and have been distancing myself, but he didn't mention anything when I saw him. I asked him when we split if he wanted the ring back, and he said no.

Obviously I don't wear the ring, but it still means something. And what woman in their right mind would want a ring chosen by a man's ex and worn by her for nearly 3 years? I think that's pretty insulting for both of us. AIBU??

RaspberryOverload Mon 05-Oct-15 22:03:48

Zombie threads do have a warning when you go to post.

Unfortunately, I think that once enough new posts have been added to the thread, the zombie warning goes away.

OctoberCupcake Mon 05-Oct-15 21:23:43

I'm less concerned with the keeping or returning issue than I am about the poor girl that he's planning to give it to!! I'd rather have a haribo ring than one he used to propose to someone else before!!

pinkrosa Mon 05-Oct-15 21:16:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

evilcherub Mon 05-Oct-15 21:14:49

Just realised this is a zombie thread blush.

pinkrosa Mon 05-Oct-15 21:09:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

evilcherub Mon 05-Oct-15 20:59:54

I think a) you had a lucky escape as he is either completely insensitive or just really horrible and b) he probably doesn't have a genuine "recipient" but either wants to make you jealous or wants to see if you are still interested in him (if you had got rid of the ring maybe he would have assumed you were not).

TheCatsMother99 Mon 05-Oct-15 20:55:40

Zombieeeee!!!!

Aaahhhhhhh

AnotherEmma Mon 05-Oct-15 20:49:54

He was insane to spend £5k on an engagement ring.

Who gives someone an engagement ring without actually proposing?!

Weirdo.

pinkrosa Mon 05-Oct-15 20:40:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkrosa Mon 05-Oct-15 20:34:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Senpai Mon 05-Oct-15 20:34:21

In the US laws are a bit tricky. An engagement ring comes with the stipulation that you will be married. So if you don't get married then the stipulations aren't met and the ring is no longer yours.

But who gets to keep it depends on who broke off the marriage. If the woman backs out, it's his. If he backs out, it's hers because it's his fault the engagement failed.

I'm replying to the Judge Judy comment.

I know it's a zombie.

reni2 Mon 05-Oct-15 20:27:07

Zombie indeed.

Everybody should start and end their post with zombie so nobody else answers the op. OP might have married and started worrying about preschools or done a PhD in the meantime so won't need advice on an engagement ring from back then. OP's ex had time to get married and divorced even without the ring.

Zombie

Starkswillriseagain Mon 05-Oct-15 20:21:16

molliver1 Post about it in legal, they should have soem advice.

Your son's situation is so far from the OPs you are missing the point. Her ex was a cock, insisted she keep the ring and then sent a message which was likely taunting 'look I've moved on'. She should have swallowed the ring and sent back a baggie three days later smile

Your son should see a solicitor and speak to the Police again, it is theft. Get advice in legal but I suggest your son gets some advice from a solicitor.

Esmeismyhero Mon 05-Oct-15 19:54:36

Ffs I read the whole bloody thread and it's a zombie! Grrrrrr

Molliver your sons presumably a grown up so you should just let him deal with it, your obviously very biased grin

ilovesooty Mon 05-Oct-15 18:28:35

molliver presumably your son is an adult. Why does he need you to get advice for him?

NKFell Mon 05-Oct-15 17:32:21

I noticed that too reni grin

ICanSeeForMiles Mon 05-Oct-15 17:32:11

As an aside, what they do in Finland is buy a plain gold band for use engagement ring, then the sparkly diamond one is given on the wedding day. Shame your son isn't Finnish molliver

ghostspirit Mon 05-Oct-15 16:57:04

molliver i think it was way to much money to spend on a ring. might sort of understand if it was actual wedding ring. still to much though well i think so. but engagement ring defo to much... can understand the money grabbing comment but they she could of hung about longer and took more but she did not. so shes a bit crap at it really

ghostspirit Mon 05-Oct-15 16:47:37

tell him its on ebay hes welcome to bid....

hahaha thread was made in 2012

reni2 Mon 05-Oct-15 16:46:52

Zombie thread and all that, but hey. Molliver1, what a strange thing to say: "i am very upset on my sons behalf which if you had children you would probably understand" - this webpage is called Mumsnet, so I'm not sure where the assumption others don't have children comes from grin

The80sweregreat Mon 05-Oct-15 16:39:51

sounds like you dodged a bullet with this bloke. Sell it on and tell him you;ve lost it. Sounds a bit of a chancer to me, probably wants to sell it himself to finance the new ring for the new girlfriend.

molliver1 Mon 05-Oct-15 16:29:40

the police said its a civil matter.

molliver1 Mon 05-Oct-15 16:28:18

well badtime you still took the time to answer......and yes ive been looking for legal advice and this came up so i decided just to rant. yes i am very upset on my sons behalf which if you had children you would probably understand. If he gets back with her then he is crazy. and he spent that much because he loved her and thought she loved him.

TheUnwillingNarcheska Mon 05-Oct-15 16:26:16

Sorry this post moved on whilst I read the entire thing. I would tell her he will contact the police. They are not engaged, the ring is his

TheUnwillingNarcheska Mon 05-Oct-15 16:25:12

Molliver he didn't propose so you could argue that he hasn't actually gifted her the ring yet. It is still his and she was merely looking after it on his behalf.

Also £5k on a ring is just ridiculous. That's a price for a car.

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