To think he should buy a new fucking engagement ring!?

(312 Posts)

I got a text from my ex fiance this morning saying:

"Hiya, this might sound a bit weird, but can I have the engagement ring back?? Think I may have found a new recipient!"

My face was like this shock.

I've not seen him for a while- since I picked the last of my stuff up- and have been distancing myself, but he didn't mention anything when I saw him. I asked him when we split if he wanted the ring back, and he said no.

Obviously I don't wear the ring, but it still means something. And what woman in their right mind would want a ring chosen by a man's ex and worn by her for nearly 3 years? I think that's pretty insulting for both of us. AIBU??

Salmotrutta Sun 18-Nov-12 00:06:56

Oh - I once knew a guy who gave his fiancee The Family Heirloom Engagement Ring.
They then broke up and she was so enraged she destroyed it (I think she stamped on it or something - it was years ago) - he was then worried sick about telling his Mum sad and was asking us all what he should say/do sad.

I don't even know how it all turned out ...

stargirl1701 Sun 18-Nov-12 00:07:09

I believe that legally the ring constitutes a contract in law and if you don't get married then it belongs to the giver. It's only yours if you marry him. This is info from a TV show so could be bollocks.

MadameCreeper Sun 18-Nov-12 00:08:41

I'm with Numberlock, don't even acknowledge or respond to the text.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 18-Nov-12 00:09:30

You should have given it back when you split. It isn't really the done thing to keep an engagement ring if you don't actually get married.

You should give it back to him regardless of what he actually wants it for.

Salmotrutta Sun 18-Nov-12 00:11:02

Obviously a different scenario to you OP - but it was the mention of "heirlooms" that reminded me of that story.

OP - if I was you I'd sell it (if it isn't an heirloom) and tell him he is mad to give another girl the self-same ring.

Then watch the film The Family Stone.

stargirl arf @the TV show potential bollocks disclaimer

It isn't a family heirloom. We went to goldsmiths and chose it together he picked a minging one to begin with If it was I would have returned it without question as soon as we split up. I also would have given it back if he had wanted it at the time. I offered and he insisted I keep it. It seems he only wants it back to give to someone else. I find that odd!

foslady Sun 18-Nov-12 00:11:05

Or does he not really care about getting the ring back and he's just being a 'look at me I'm getting engaged again and you're not' type twat......

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 18-Nov-12 00:11:43

Oh just saw your post saying he told you to keep it!

In that case...tell him you've sold it. Ignoring him probably won't work because he'll just ask for it again.

JennyPiccolo Sun 18-Nov-12 00:12:35

Tell him to buy another fucking ring. Yanbu.

squeakytoy Sun 18-Nov-12 00:16:29

Who ended the relationship?

ChippingInLovesAutumn Sun 18-Nov-12 00:17:18

Just tell him that you did as he suggested at the time and sold it - sorry.

Poor girl <his new (boak) 'recipient'. Shudder>.

YOU had a lucky escape!!

squeaky twas mutual but hard and very long and drawn out IYSWIM. Tis a long story and have had a few wine but I have posted about it before. I'll try to link if I can find them.

libbyssister Sun 18-Nov-12 00:20:10

Do you think that he really wants the ring back or is this his insensitive, roundabout way of telling you he's got engaged to someone else?

Don't respond and sell the ring.

squeakytoy Sun 18-Nov-12 00:20:45

Its ok, I was just thinking that perhaps if you had dumped him, then he may have had just a teeny bit of justification in asking for the ring back.. (although what sort of skinflint would want to give a new gf his ex's engagement ring baffles me.. )..

Backstory

Here you go smile

BillyBollyBandy Sun 18-Nov-12 00:22:22

Unless you are skint give it back and tell him what a "lucky lady" she is

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 18-Nov-12 00:23:03

You learn a new thing every day, I always thought it was a gift with a view to marriage so if you did actually marry it was yours but if you didn't you should give it back.

But I never worked out why anyone would want to give a different woman the ring if it was brought for someone else.

Send him back a haribo one

squeakytoy Sun 18-Nov-12 00:23:52

hmm... definitely sell it... he sounds horrible..

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Sun 18-Nov-12 00:24:48

I have to go with Judge Judy, and I think the right thing to do on your part is give it back, even if you dont have to. Unfortunately.

On his part, the right thing to do would be BUY A NEW SODDING RING! Twat. I know of another man that has given his current partner a ring that was bought for his long term ex girlfriend. It's vey distasteful.

SirBoobAlot Sun 18-Nov-12 00:24:50

Don't even reply to him.

Then find him on facebook and message the new woman and warn her how cheap he is.

I don't want to sound bitchy, but I picked up the last of my stuff about a month ago and he was still single then. I'm not 100% sure that even a new ring would be well recieved!

VodIsGod Sun 18-Nov-12 00:29:36

I think he's just playing mind games with you. Ignore him.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 18-Nov-12 00:29:39

LOL! Well his "recipient" might be a very very scared lucky lady if he's proposing that quickly!

fromparistoberlin Sun 18-Nov-12 00:30:19

read backstory, you are well rid!!

ignore him. ebay !

aceupmysleeve Sun 18-Nov-12 00:30:47

Under insolvency law, what stargirl says is true. I have looked into this as I'm filing for bankruptcy, and don't want them to take my engagement ring! I was advised that an engagement ring constitutes a gift conditional on an event taking place (for example the marriage or civil partnership) and the ring does not pass as property to the recipient until the marriage has taken place (see the Technical Manual here). So I've had to wait to get married until I sort out my insolvency, otherwise it would be considered part of my assets!

But, in this case, if he told you to keep it once the engagement was off, the condition no longer applies. Although you probably have no evidence that he said that, but I doubt it'll come to a legal dispute if you just refuse to hand it back.

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