To think he should buy a new fucking engagement ring!?

(438 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

BlueSuedeStiletto Sat 17-Nov-12 23:48:53

I got a text from my ex fiance this morning saying:

"Hiya, this might sound a bit weird, but can I have the engagement ring back?? Think I may have found a new recipient!"

My face was like this shock.

I've not seen him for a while- since I picked the last of my stuff up- and have been distancing myself, but he didn't mention anything when I saw him. I asked him when we split if he wanted the ring back, and he said no.

Obviously I don't wear the ring, but it still means something. And what woman in their right mind would want a ring chosen by a man's ex and worn by her for nearly 3 years? I think that's pretty insulting for both of us. AIBU??

WorraLiberty Wed 28-Nov-12 13:07:59

I think it just serves to remind us all to think before we put personal things in the public domain.

All I can see here is two people bickering over a diamond ring and the fact she's slated him here on MN and he's slated her back on Facebook.

The whole thing's terribly crass really - hence the interest from TWS.

But there you go...lesson learnt I expect.

WorraLiberty Wed 28-Nov-12 13:09:33

He seemed a little more bemused that you said you kept it because it means something to you but you couldn't wait to sell it, after he wanted it back grin

BlueSuedeStiletto Wed 28-Nov-12 13:11:58

Oh and Worra, there was no real relationship with someone else, jut a woman he liked. And it actually was a coincidence that I sold the ring now- as I said upthread, I always intended to sell it (along with some other stuff I had knocking around) but couldn't quite figure out ebay. My friend offered to help me and we happened to both have an evening off this week. She picked the ring to sell first to demonstrate ebaying to me cos she said it'd be the easiest one to show me all the different points IYSWIM. Strange but true!

WorraLiberty Wed 28-Nov-12 13:14:35

Yes but his relationship/non relationship is his business.

You're right, it is a strange coincidence.

Oh well, let's just hope he doesn't spot this, the show or the FB page grin

BlueSuedeStiletto Wed 28-Nov-12 13:15:03

Ha I suppose that does sound odd. I think I meant it means something in that it symbolized our relationship and that time in my life. And I personally wouldn't want an engagement ring that was once worn by my partners ex for that reason!

AmberLeaf Wed 28-Nov-12 13:19:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Wed 28-Nov-12 13:24:36

Amber you might want to get your post deleted and then PM it to the OP?

I mean given that you've just pointed it out so to speak.

BlueSuedeStiletto Wed 28-Nov-12 13:25:32

I've done it, thanks, forgot about that!

AmberLeaf Wed 28-Nov-12 13:31:06

I don't think Confuddled.com meant it like that OP.

I have reported my post.

That is the kind of thing I meant by unsafe.

katieks Wed 28-Nov-12 20:11:58

This has made interesting reading. My opinion: she should've given it back at the time of them breaking up. Even if he said keep it, I would've left it there way back when because somehow keeping hold of the engagement ring mentally to me means he's always got some kind of 'promise' with you, as that is what it represented.

TheReturnOfBridezilla Wed 28-Nov-12 20:19:34

Glad you've sorted it. And found fame in the process!

Fwiw I would be thrilled to receive someone's ex girlfriend's engagement ring. Erm, not!

confuddledDOTcom Wed 28-Nov-12 22:47:36

No, I didn't, I was backing up Amber.

katieks, do you give back all gifts when you split up? I wish my exes had! I've spent far more than any one of them and never got anything back. It was a gift, the law says it was a gift, he didn't want it so she sold it. End of.

molliver1 Mon 05-Oct-15 15:39:16

Ive just joined mumsnet and read the comments here. My son bought his girlfriend an engagement ring which cost him a fortune £5000. He said he spent that much because she would only have one ring and have to wear it all her life so she should have the best. He had it delivered from America and she tried it on. He was going to do the whole romantic thing and propose in Italy but she started arguing with him all the time so he decided not to to see how things went. The ring was in her house as he is in the army and he had nowhere to keep it safe. Whilst on holiday she went crazy accusing him of cheating (he wasnt) going through his phone, his facebook etc.. and then leaving and flying home. I think she has really bad pmt. Anyway she now refuses to talk to him or see him and wont give him back the ring. So all you people out there saying the girl should keep the ring do you think this is fair......he spoilt her rotten, paid for the holiday, kept her whilst she was at uni, and never actually proposed to her and she wont give him the ring back. What a little money grabber she turned out to be. so all you girls out there if you break up with your partner for Gods sake give them back the ring at least.

badtime Mon 05-Oct-15 15:48:08

You reanimated a zombie just to have a one-sided rant about your son's ex?

Anyway, it doesn't matter if it is fair or not, it is the law.

angelos02 Mon 05-Oct-15 16:01:55

I gave mine back when I split up with ex fiance. Why would I want to keep it? It is theft not to give it back IMO.

TathitiPete Mon 05-Oct-15 16:09:18

Your son is an absolute moron to spend that kind of money on a ring. And morons and their money are soon parted...

trulybadlydeeply Mon 05-Oct-15 16:15:10

Is it that much effort to start a new thread??

ItchyArmpit Mon 05-Oct-15 16:16:04

If I've read your post correctly, molliver1, the difference between the two situations is that your son never actually gave the ring to his ex, so she has therefore stolen it. I'd advise him to get a solicitor to send a letter asking for the return of the ring or its monetary value (but I'm no legal adviser, so that might be a terrible idea).

In the situation described by the OP of this thread, she was given the ring by her ex when they got engaged, they stayed engaged for 3 years, then they split up, when he reiterated that the ring belonged to her and she should keep it. 2 years later he started demanding it back. Quite different.

I'd be careful what you say to your son about his ex. For all you know they might get back together...

Gruntfuttock Mon 05-Oct-15 16:20:09

molliver1 Wouldn't it have made more sense to start your own thread, rather than bump one from three years ago? Most people are going to read the entire thread when unless and until they see the date of it and eventually your post. Not the most efficient way of getting replies.

Gruntfuttock Mon 05-Oct-15 16:21:13

Apols. for superfluous "when" above.

TheUnwillingNarcheska Mon 05-Oct-15 16:25:12

Molliver he didn't propose so you could argue that he hasn't actually gifted her the ring yet. It is still his and she was merely looking after it on his behalf.

Also £5k on a ring is just ridiculous. That's a price for a car.

TheUnwillingNarcheska Mon 05-Oct-15 16:26:16

Sorry this post moved on whilst I read the entire thing. I would tell her he will contact the police. They are not engaged, the ring is his

molliver1 Mon 05-Oct-15 16:28:18

well badtime you still took the time to answer......and yes ive been looking for legal advice and this came up so i decided just to rant. yes i am very upset on my sons behalf which if you had children you would probably understand. If he gets back with her then he is crazy. and he spent that much because he loved her and thought she loved him.

molliver1 Mon 05-Oct-15 16:29:40

the police said its a civil matter.

The80sweregreat Mon 05-Oct-15 16:39:51

sounds like you dodged a bullet with this bloke. Sell it on and tell him you;ve lost it. Sounds a bit of a chancer to me, probably wants to sell it himself to finance the new ring for the new girlfriend.

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