To think he should buy a new fucking engagement ring!?

(312 Posts)

I got a text from my ex fiance this morning saying:

"Hiya, this might sound a bit weird, but can I have the engagement ring back?? Think I may have found a new recipient!"

My face was like this shock.

I've not seen him for a while- since I picked the last of my stuff up- and have been distancing myself, but he didn't mention anything when I saw him. I asked him when we split if he wanted the ring back, and he said no.

Obviously I don't wear the ring, but it still means something. And what woman in their right mind would want a ring chosen by a man's ex and worn by her for nearly 3 years? I think that's pretty insulting for both of us. AIBU??

Not your problem. Wish him well, tell him to come and pick it up, it's his ring.

spottybotts Sat 17-Nov-12 23:50:48

You should have given him the ring back when you split. What woman in their right mind would want to keep something that reminded her of an ex? Imagine how your future husband would feel.

OpheliaPayneAgain Sat 17-Nov-12 23:51:22

Legally it's YOUR ring - you don;t have to return it.

squeakytoy Sat 17-Nov-12 23:52:21

Tell him you have already sold it..

SarkyWench Sat 17-Nov-12 23:52:25

Tell him you sold it.
Then sell it.

Minshu Sat 17-Nov-12 23:52:45

Apart from anything emotional, case law apparently dictates that an engagement ring is a gift and, as such, cannot be requested back at the end of a relationship (according to a magistrate when I had to take an ex to small claims court about a loan I'd given him before we split - he had wanted the cost of the engagement ring to be taken into account, even though he had lost his).

spottybotts Sat 17-Nov-12 23:53:06

Judge jury would say you have to return it!

spottybotts Sat 17-Nov-12 23:53:34

I meant Judge judy

Allalonenow Sat 17-Nov-12 23:54:34

An Engagement ring remains the property of the woman who received it, just like any other gift. Tell him to go to Beaverbrooks!

Tiredmumno1 Sat 17-Nov-12 23:54:46

I agree with squeaky and sarky

IneedAgoldenNickname Sat 17-Nov-12 23:55:17

I've still got my engagement ring from my ex, I plan to pawn it if I'm ever desperate. My Mum did just that with her engagement and wedding runs when her and Dad split, she couldn't afford Christmas otherwise.

How is it his ring anyway? Surely it's given as a gift?

Numberlock Sat 17-Nov-12 23:55:55

I wouldn't even acknowledge the text/request.

YANBU.

I think he does have the right to ask for it back as it was part of a contract (to marry) that was unfulfilled. Unless you got engaged at Christmas or on your birthday - in which case it's a gift. May well be wrong on that front though! (The birthday present was the reason my DBro ex gave him for keeping hers - and the contract thing was the reason she gave him for taking his back!!) It does sound rather like selfish bullshit to me though, but I think it proved the point that she wasn't the nicest of people to him so he was glad to leave it and run.

lovebunny Sat 17-Nov-12 23:56:46

Not your problem. Wish him well, tell him to come and pick it up, it's his ring.
no. sorry.
an engagement ring, once given, cannot be claimed back.

IneedAgoldenNickname Sat 17-Nov-12 23:57:17

Runs = rings

And cross posted damn phone being so slow tonight

TeaDr1nker Sat 17-Nov-12 23:57:46

It is yours, it was a gift. End of.

He could buy it off you of course...

dolallylass Sat 17-Nov-12 23:57:55

Tell him you sold it. Sell it. Spend the money. grin

OpheliaPayneAgain Sat 17-Nov-12 23:58:18

A gift is given. You don't haved to return it.

Judge Judy is American. They have bizarre laws from state to state.

Our law states:

he legal position for engagement rings at least is governed by section 3(2) of the Law Reform (Miscellaneous Provisions) Act 1970, which states:

The gift of an engagement ring shall be presumed to be an absolute gift; this presumption may be rebutted by proving that the ring was given on the condition, express or implied, that it should be returned if the marriage did not take place for any reason.

Although it seems unfair, this means that unless there was an agreement to return the engagement ring if the wedding is cancelled -- which a court could imply if the ring is a family heirloom -- a cheating fiancé/fiancée is under no obligation to return the ring.

I don't keep it for any kind of sentimental value- it's in a box in my wardrobe waiting to go on Ebay blush

To be clear, he INSISTED I take it, so I did and told him I was going to sell it. He said it was a gift and to do what I like with it.

As far as I know, legally it's mine as it was a gift, but it can be seen as part of a contract which has now ended.

It was just a bit random and out of the blue. I didn't think it was the done thing to recycle engagement rings. I wouldn't use it if I get engaged again!

HolyBrrrrrrBatman Sun 18-Nov-12 00:00:59

tell him you'll give him a good deal if he wants to buy it off you?

PiggeryJokery Sun 18-Nov-12 00:04:15

Tell him you're sorry you sold it, but you've looked on eBay and there's one just like it going for a decent price.

ll31 Sun 18-Nov-12 00:04:22

I'd tell him I threw it in river -and then sell it

WorraLiberty Sun 18-Nov-12 00:05:16

Tell him you sold it and spent the night in a lap dancing club surrounded by gorgeous men grin

WilsonFrickett Sun 18-Nov-12 00:05:48

Omg imagine wearing someone else's engagement ring?

Sell it.

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