AIBU to not want DH to spoon/fork-feed 3.5yo?

[MegBusset]

If we are out having a family meal and 3.5yo DS2 has stopped eating with some food left on his plate, DH sometimes grabs his fork and attempts to feed him some more, aeroplane-style. This drives me nuts as a) he is 3.5 fgs and b) he will then demand to be fed at home. (I am sahm so deal with 95% of mealtimes).

AIBU to not want him to?

[lisaro]

No, he's old enough to feed himself. It's an odd thing to do.

[feelingfull]

No you're not. It would annoy me, esp the aeroplane thing.

Does your DH think he will starve?
Or is this his way of bonding with your DS2 because he is only there 5% of the time for meals?

[BobbysBeardOfWonder]

My DH does this with 2yo DD. she is totally capable of feeding herself, I get really wound up by it

[CecilyP]

Could you not get your DS to say, 'daddy, please stop doing that; you are embarrassing me in public'.

[MegBusset]

Yes you are probably right about the bonding. He thinks it is fun and harmless. It just gets my goat in a way that not much else does!

[squeakytoy]

Perhaps it is fun for the Dad to do it, and lets him feel like he is taking an active part in things.

I cant see that it is really an issue so long as the child is capable of feeding themselves if they have to.

[diddl]

I think it´s something I´ve probably done tbh-got a forkful of food & offered it if I think they haven´t had enough.

Not aeroplane style, though.

Probably annoying if is repeated after child declines once.
MIL

[PomBearWithAnOFRS]

Laugh like a drain and say "how old do you think he is?" as though you've never seen anything more silly in your life. Follow with "He's a big boy now daddy" and your DS will most likely agree vehemently and refuse to be fed like a baby again.

[Birdsgottafly]

I don't think that laughing at your partner in public and demeaning what he is doing is the right way to go about it, tbh.

Talk to him when you are alone.

But unless it is causing major problems and it shouldn't, tbh, because you could quite easily tell your DS that, 'that is something daddy does, not you' and let your DP parent in the way he wants to, occassionally.

[ErikNorseman]

I will feed 3.10yo DS sometimes. He will pick at his food and say he has had enough but if I feed him he will eat lots more. It's not ideal but maybe he thinks your DS needs to eat more?

[MegBusset]

DS is a chunky monkey and definitely not going to fade away if he leaves a few bits of his dinner!

[diddl]

Is it only when you are out because your husband doesn´t want the food to be wasted?

[thebody]

Ah think it's sweet, just let your ds understand its a daddy thing and u ain't doing it at home.

He will b grown up and gone before you know it.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

My 18 mo hasn't wanted to be fed for months. If your 3.5 yo has finished and is full, it probably isn't great to tell him, by feeding him, that he doesn't know he's full.

[liketochat1]

I wouldn't think it's a big deal, especially if ds finds it fun. Meal times are meant to be fun. It doesn't mean you have to do it. At 3.5 he's old enough to know this is a game only dad does.

[pjmama]

I occasionally shovel a bit extra into my nearly 6yo, when it's a lovely healthy nutritious dinner that I know he'll eat if I put it in his mouth (but cba to do it himself as he'd rather have pizza). I don't think it's a big deal. I won't be doing it when he's 15 of course.

[Pandemoniaa]

I occasionally shovel a bit extra into my nearly 6yo

You must have a remarkably tolerant six year old. My dcs would have thought I'd lost the plot entirely if I'd attempted to feed them like babies.

[Sirzy]

If he has said he has had enough after 2 mouthfuls I would probably try to feed him a bit to see if he started eating (without the airoplanes though!) but if he had eaten most and said he had had enough then i wouldn't

[GnocchiNineDoors]

3.5 is definetly old enough to feed themselves. and also old enough to understand 'no treats' if they dont eat enough rather than the alternative of spoon feeding.

[valiumredhead]

It's no big deal is really? Think you need to unclench a bit, if your ds doesn't want any more he'll soon clamp his mouth shut. If he demands to be fed at home just say no. There's plenty of things dh does with ds that are totally different to how I do things but I just let them get on with it.

[ll31]

Can't see the problem tbh-he's his child too!

[Sighingagain]

I do this occassionLly (not with actions or sounds) if I don't want to wait all day

[Dprince]

My mum used to do this. It is really annoying, because then they want you to do it. I just kept saying 'she is old enough to feed herself you know', it only took a couple of times and she packed it in.

[AThingInYourLife]

"If your 3.5 yo has finished and is full, it probably isn't great to tell him, by feeding him, that he doesn't know he's full."

This

Also treating a 3 year old like a baby is crap parenting.