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AIBU?

Is it possible to follow MN netiquette and not drag up what a poster's said on another thread?

138 replies

AgentZigzag · 18/05/2012 22:39

Out of general curiosity rather than about a specific poster/thread, but when you've read and can't help remembering, for example, a poster's extreme view on one thread, is it possible to keep that separate if you run into them on another thread as MN 'netiquette' suggests you should?

It's easy to remember a posters name when they've been kind or given good advice, so that shows some posters do remember each other and it's not all 'words on a screen' ([wee humphy face] Grin).


Maybe the netiquette's more to do with 'Think it all you like, just don't post it', but the nature of MN being an anonymous site with the majority a lot of gobby shites outspoken posters, makes it impossible to keep to the 'rule'?

AIBU?

And will the flaming you give me follow me from thread to thread for ever more? (please let it be so, it'd make me feel important) Grin

OP posts:
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ChitChatFlyingby · 18/05/2012 22:40

Nope, YANBU! If I see someone who annoys the hell out of me on a thread I'm ready for them to annoy the hell out of me on the next one!!!

If they really wanted to stay anonymous they'd keep NCing.

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Noqontrol · 18/05/2012 22:43

It's hard to keep it separate but I do try Grin

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EdlessAllenPoe · 18/05/2012 22:44

i find it harder when its nice things tbh...

such as knowing X about someone then bringing it up in a conversational manner on another thread in the way with someoen you were trying to befriend - by showing you remembered something important about them.

it feels stalkerish though on here, and could come over as a creepy 'i know where you live' type comment...

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WorraLiberty · 18/05/2012 22:45

I tend to reply to posters regarding their posts rather than their posting style...I find that's easier to do on MN than other forums for some reason.

There are a small handful of posters I don't think I'll ever agree with on most things, but I don't dislike them as 'posters' IYSWIM.

Ok that's a lie...there are 2 posters I really can't stand but I still treat their posts individually Grin

I think it's fair to bring up something someone's said on another thread if they're now saying the complete opposite on another one.

I wouldn't bite my tongue in real life if someone said the opposite one day of what they'd said the day before...so I wouldn't here either.

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RecursiveMoon · 18/05/2012 22:46

Ah, Zig, but on your other thread you said... Wink

Which way round is your AIBU? I gave up the will to live follow it halfway through your post. I think you're probably right though, it seems wrong when something that the OP has said on another thread is brought up. Although sometimes it can be relevant, so I suppose it all depends on the context.

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2shoes · 18/05/2012 22:48

sadly there are some people who use what you have posted in the past as a way of hounding you.
I had it happen to me and it was horrid and vile.
so I try not to do it myself(If I do it thump me)

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NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes · 18/05/2012 22:52

There's one person I would have loved to do this to, because she was dismissive of a small problem one thread in a "that wouldn't bother me so stop complaining" kind of way and was then advocating vandalism on another thread for an equally small but just as annoying thing that apparently would bother her on another.

I didn't point out her inconsistency but I really, really wanted to. Not just for what she said but the way it came across when she said it.

As Noqontrol said, it's hard to keep it separate but I tried and succeeded that time anyway.

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WithACherryOnTop · 18/05/2012 22:52

I can't ignore it.There are posters I've avoided for years because they make me froth at the mouth everytime. I'll never like them.

Generally though,with the exception of repeat offenders, I can accept that everyone makes mistakes,but there's a few who have made such disturbing and outrageous posts that I think of it every time I see them. And when people say they're a good egg,I want to scream 'No they're not!'

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LoopyLoopsTootTootToots · 18/05/2012 22:54

nope. impossible.

you've all proven you're cunts now shut up and go away

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EatsBrainsAndLeaves · 18/05/2012 22:59

I have mixed feelings about this tbh. Yes it is impossible to forget really offensive posters. But I know in rl if friends/family are having an awful time I cut them a lot of slack if they are disproportionately angry or twuntish and so I am always aware that a poster may be a twunt, or they may be having a terrible time.

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Maryz · 18/05/2012 23:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Salmotrutta · 18/05/2012 23:06

I have increasingly become aware of my crap memory and I often don't remember postings on here.

My memory is deteriorating - I know it - so I don't always remember who said what. I worry a bit about that. But it's part age and part busy life - my problem.

BUT - I do remember posters who just deliver impartial views and remember others who are not so impartial.

I fear I may have a bit of prejudice about some posters ...

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MsVestibule · 18/05/2012 23:07

One VERY prolific poster made the most offensive comment I think I've ever seen on MN a few weeks ago. She was flamed by scores of posters and strangely enough, I haven't seen her since..

I'm guessing she realised she'd crossed the line by a million miles and thought that nobody who'd seen her comment would let her forget it and so has NC.

Never liked her anyway Wink.

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LRDtheFeministDragon · 18/05/2012 23:08

I think lots of posters make a really good attempt towards it.

I know that I've been silly or rude or plain wrong on threads and people have not treated me differently even though they remembered. And I know I disagree with some posters really strongly, but still it doesn't have to mean we can't talk on other threads. It's pretty much like real life IMO - some people you disagree with but there's enough respect to negotiate around the disagreements, others you just conclude you'll never see eye to eye with.

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Maryz · 18/05/2012 23:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Salmotrutta · 18/05/2012 23:11

MsVestibule - my very unattractive nosey trait has now been piqued.

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MmeLindor. · 18/05/2012 23:12

I wouldn't bring inconsistencies up on the thread, but I would mutter to myself.

I do notice names, but only if the poster wrote something very offensive or nasty.

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HumpheadWrasse · 18/05/2012 23:12

It's difficult. I've seen this recently, someone who I found offensive on one thread posting quite innocuously on a couple of other threads a few days later. I think you have to try and look at what they're posting on its merits, not automatically discount what they've said just because seeing their name makes you wince a little. Or just develop a poor memory.

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bussfucket · 18/05/2012 23:13

I have once done an Advanced Search on a poster, because someone else on the thread accused her of being a troll. It was patently obvious, looking at her older posts, that she was not a troll, just a normal person like (most) of the rest of us, with lots of different interests and valid opinions on loads of subjects. I went back to the thread and said so. The troll accuser flounced off, and hasn't been seen since, certainly under that nn. Whereas the original poster is still here with us and chucking her twopenceworth in at regular intervals!
I'm a bit of a serial namechanger, especially at the moment with the Sweary NN stuff going on, but it's usually still recognisably me. ATB Fussbucket.

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WorraLiberty · 18/05/2012 23:14

That's how I feel LRD...I tend to see a different thread/different subject as a new start, even though I might be going hammer and tongs with the same person on another Grin

MsV if it's who I think you mean, I understand she got banned for that comment.

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StealthPolarBear · 18/05/2012 23:15

MsV she has been back

I would do this as a one off but there are posters I have in general disagreed with in the past (some quite heated) and I do just try to let it lie in the future. If I saw them being a big hypocrite though I doubt I'd be able to resist

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MsVestibule · 18/05/2012 23:16

Oh no, Salmo. I couldn't possibly indulge in a public bitching session. It's against my personal ethics, and probably MN rules.

I'll PM you instead Wink.

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WithACherryOnTop · 18/05/2012 23:20

Now I'm curious too.

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ReindeerBollocks · 18/05/2012 23:23

But what if posters genuinely don't remember what they said?

I would be the type to have an opinion on something one week, and then if there was a similar thread a few weeks later with convincing arguments for the opposite view, I'd probably post something completely contradictory. I wouldn't even remember the first thread or my opinion on it.

But then I wouldn't be overly offended if it was pointed out to me that I was being a contrary cow either, so I suppose it wouldn't bother me too much.

I don't notice other people doing it either, but it does help sometimes to 'know' a backstory, otherwise a thread doesn't make sense.

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MsVestibule · 18/05/2012 23:25

Oh, thought I was the only one who'd noticed!

There are a few posters whose opinions I rarely agree with, but as a general rule they're the ones who write the posts I enjoy reading. The only posters I don't like are the smug ones - and their smugness comes out in almost post, so I can't help but wince every time I see their name.

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