to not want to go fetch two 14 year olds?

[typicalbloke]

It's a modern etiquette problem...

DS went to a party tonight with two friends. One of the other parents took the the three of them., I am to pick them all up at 11pm.

But here's the thing: DS didn't get in he was bounced at the door and left outside in the rain I just went and picked him up.

So now then -- what happens at 11pm, am I still on the hook to pick up the other two (a 15mile round trip?) or can I justifiably call their parents and tell them I don't fancy it ??

[littleducks]

'bounced' for being underage? or something else like dress code?

[verybored]

Why was he not let in? I'm a bit surprised the other mum didn't hang around (discreetly) and check they went in. I would call the other mums and say sorry, they will have to go and explain the situation.

[SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots]

Yeah, you ring the parent that didn't drop off earlier. They go now, not you.

[annapolly]

Yes call the parents, perfectly acceptable. Leaving them uncollected would be the unacceptable thing.

The friends should never have left your DS on his own.

[typicalbloke]

not on the list.
he was invited face-to-face at school but wasn't on the list when he got there (they are 14).

there were four other children in similar situations. I gave one of them a lift as well. It seems the hostess was chaotic in her invitations with facebook, verbal etc. One boy was on the list, but had been crossed out.

(I spoke to father and told him it was a shambles!!)

[littleducks]

If it wasnt an age thing, i think you should have rung the other parents just before you left to get your ds explained the situation and asked if they wanted you to pick up your kids then or if they would go later

If it was an age thing i think its irresponsible to let him go

[LaurieFairyCake]

I would think you are still supposed to. They may have had a glass of wine or two by now.

Agree they should have checked they all got in. Surely one of the ones inside would have called their lift to say your kid was still outside.

[littleducks]

'not on the list'

what is it Hollywood?

[LoopyLoopsChupaChups]

They should have waited to see they all git in, so therefore I think you'd be within your rights to ring and say, explain DS is a bit upset and doesn't want to see his mates again tonight (lay it on a bit thick).

[Goblinchild]

I'd go and get them, build up goodwill from those two parents for the future. It's not their fault that the parent in question was a fool.

[LoopyLoopsChupaChups]

who was the hostess?

Will the party appear on MTV soon?

[Goblinchild]

It is one of the problems with having teens though, sometimes they get quite annoyed if mummy hangs around to make sure they're safe. Drop and Go seems the norm round here.

[NeverAttributeToMalice]

His mates shouldn't have gone in without him, nor should the droppping off parent have gone without checking they were all ok. Maybe you could take him back with you to pick them up, so they can fill him in on the party? If he doesn't want that, then let their parents sort a taxi or something and teach their sons a lesson in loyalty.

[ivykaty44]

Yeah I would have dropped and gone, with mobile phones I would have expected a call about the bumping dumping bouncing drama before I got home!

Telephone and explain that your dc didn't get in - if my teen had got in and then yours didn't and you went and fetched - I would be very about you fetching my teen and would probably rather you let me know and I could make my own arrangments without a shame face at your teen being on the wrong list or whatever

[bringmethestrongestcheese]

What kind of parent messes up invitations and then leaves 14 year olds out on the street miles from home? That is extraordinary. I can understand the other mum/ dad leaving 3 fourteen year olds at party address without it occurring to them that any might get bounced. Now it has happened , you should call the third parent, tell them what happened , say you can go regardless but give them a chance to insist that would be beyond the call of duty. ( of course they may have other arrangements in which case you will be out earning brownie points later)

[AllDirections]

A few months ago DD1 went on a school trip and a friends mum picked her up and took her to school with her DD at 6.30am. I took DD2 and DD3 (who fell asleep on the way there) to collect them both at 7pm. Turns out they were on different buses, friend's bus arrived a bit late but DD1 was two hours late. If it was the other way round I would still have waited two hours for the friend.

The other parent should have waited to check that all the boys got in ok but some parents are not that responsible. DD1 (age 14) was left in a strange place with her friend when the parents of the party girl decided to end the party early and left!!

I would check with the other boys parents to see if they still want you to collect them. But I would be unhappy that the friends went in and left your DS alone!

[Hulababy]

Where was this party? Who "bounced" them? Where was the birthday child, who could have sorted this out?

[typicalbloke]

The party was at the girls house. These are all year 9 children ie 13 or 14.

Talking to DS it seems like this girl has done a typical 14yr old thing, agreed with her parents there would be a guest list for the party , but then face-booked it, and mentioned it, and told people about it etc etc etc.

I don't really blame the mother for dropping and going (although she will be mortfied when she finds out!!)

I am cross with the parents of the girl - they should NOT be chucking Y9 kids - boys and girls - out on to the street to fend for themselves. They should be outside with them, making sure they all have someone coming to collect them etc etc. (I had quite a big row with the father once I had got him to the door to talk to me)

What now - I am a typicalbloke remember, so phoning the other parents is a socially awkward situation, so I'll avoid it ... and go and pick up the kids!

perhaps the kids will suddenly realise themselves that is awkward and will phone their parents ... who will phone me...

or perhaps they won't!

[jenga079]

Man up! Phone the other parents, explain. You've already driven over once, your child isn't there, get them to do the pick up. I can't imagine they'll mind.

[Slambang]

Bloody hell =I'd be fuming if I was you. But agree you cannot leave the other kids unpicked up (just as you didn't want your ds to be abandoned.) Clearly its not the fault of the lift sharing parents but the party giving parents. Glad you had a row!
Pick them up and let your ds and his friends and his friends parents know that you will not be taking anyone to any parties unless they have invitations in triplicate.

[Awhiteelephantintheroom]

I too would phone the other parents and explain that you won't be doing the pick up now.

I can understand you being angry with the father of the party girl, but you might well have caused your son embarrasment or hassle at school by having a big row with him.