Friends....again.

[poshsinglemum]

I know I am prob being unreasonable but I need a rant.

I asked one of my best mates to babysit for me for the weekend four weeks ago in exchange for £150 which we negotiated to £180. I provided snacks. I know that this is not a huge amount of money to pay her but she gladly accepted saying that I needed a break etc.

She knows that looking after a toddler is tough as she has her own. Her dd was away that weekend so she only had my dd.

I phoned her everyday whilst away and she told me that dd had been ''a dream'' and was settling really well.

I accidentally took one of her bags away with me and in it was her swimming costume. I forgot about it and forgot to tell her as my mum has just been diagnosed with cancer and went to hospital soon after I came back for the weekend. I was upset and that's why I forgot.

We had a converation about two weeks after I came back and she mentioned taht she couldn't find a costume. I remembered I had it but couldn't remembre where I'd put it. I've literally had no time to find it with dd, no help as mum's in hospital, work etc, etc, etc. I'm also quite down.

My friend texted me today and told me she was going to buy another costume and I would have to owe her. I was unreasonable and felt that she was using me as a cash machine. She then wrote back and told me that dd had actually been ''very difficult'' when I was away and that she didn't think £180 was a lot of money especially when I hadn't provided food. (I did- she just didn't see it) I do know that dd is hard work. After all- she's two but she knew that and jumped at the chance to earn money.

Am I being unreasonable to think that she should not have lied to me about finding babysitting ''a dream'' and is mabe resentful because I had a nice weekend away. She quite rightly wants me to pay for the costume but I feel that all she cares about is cash atm when I have been worried about mum.

Moral of the story; Hire a professional to look after kids because there's always too much drama with friends and fmaily. (Sadly remembers a recent thread about the decline of the extended family.)

Now I'm a single mum I feel I've got to accept that I no longer have a social life, unreliable friends and that I don't have a huge amount of support. I resent it.

[nickschick]

God the amount of times i look after peoples dc for nothing .

I think you need better friends tbh.

[nickschick]

Hope your Mums ok sorry to hear that shes ill.

[poshsinglemum]

She's also been on my case about the swimsuit ever since I mentioned it. She has every weekend childfree and could have come to mine to help me look for it. DD is so full on and kicks off if I even go upstairs to look for something. Swimming in treacle dosn't even begin to describe it.

[nikki1978]

Sorry but she sounds like a cow. I wouldn't dream of charging friends to look after their kids in the first place (especially if they clearly need a break). She is being a bit unreasonable about the swimming costume too - if you are struggling can't she come over to find it herself. I would start looking for better friends if I were you!

[junkcollector]

Probably just me but I wouldn't charge my best friend £180 to look after her child for the weekend. Maybe a bit of pocket money if we were going somewhere special but it would be reciprocal.

So Yanbu really. I'm sure you're lovely though and will make friends with other lovely people soon.

[hana]

a best mate took money for looking after your dd for a couple of days? shesh. I'd be finding new mates too.

[thesunshinesbrightly]

Disgusting. Find some new mates.

[AlistairSim]

She charged you?
Your friend charged you?

Shit.

[iamamug]

Agree with other posts - a friend does not charge you for babysitting - especially as she said you needed the break. It shoudl be a reciprocal arrangement. She is an evil witch - get rid and find better friends. Also hope your mum is okay..

[Alouiseg]

There are nicer people out there to be friends with. Chalk it down to experience and move on. She sounds frightful.

[HappySlapper]

Fucking amazed that your 'friend' charged you almost TWO HUNDRED POUNDS to look after your child

Wouldn't dream of it myself, and I don't really like anyone elses children

You need some new friends. This is not how friends behave towards each other.

[choufleur]

Good god! i have friends kids for free. Recently a friend turned up while pregnant with her two children (6 and nearly 2) at about 8pm and left them for the night while she was rushed to hospital. Wouldn't have dreamed of asking for anything, despite sitting up til about midnight with the little one on my knee cos she couldn't get to sleep (understandable).

she sounds horrid. find yourself anew best friend.

[poshsinglemum]

I offered her the money as a favour as I knew she was skint. She jumped at the chance and now she wants more. I can't be arsed anymore.

[thatsnotmymonkey]

That is horrid. What a horrible person she is. Give her a £20 voucher for Debenhams, say your sorry for the lost costume and tell her to fuck right off.

[knickers0nmyhead]

Find a new friend!!

[Ladyanonymous]

Can't believe she charged you and then doesn't accept you've made an honest mistake - what a cow - shes no friend.

[poshsinglemum]

Should I refuse to pay for the costume?

[Ladyanonymous]

Can you really not find it?

[coventgarden]

I can 't believe you paid that much when money is tight .

Look for the costume when your child is sleeping?

[DetectivePotato]

I cannot believe she charged you at all, let alone that much money!!

I have made some lovely friends and I have M.E. and have some bad days and I'm pregnant. Every single one has offered to help in any way by having DS. One has offered to have him while I have this next one even though she has 2 year old twins and she works.

This is no friend of yours. If you are sure you have the costume I would tell her that you will not pay for a new one as you haven't lost her old one. If she insists on buying a new one, tell her she can use the £180 you gave her.

Don't bother asking her again!

[oiteach]

Um my view differs i think.

You offered to pay her because you knew she was skint. Fine. Thats not the issue.

She is pissed off because you are being blase ( sorry no accents on ipod) about losing her stuff weeks ago.
She has finally replaced it, asked you for the money and you responded with a narky text.
Thats why she responded with the comment about your dd.

Rather than her using you as an atm, you used her as cheap childcare.

Yabu.

[thatsnotmymonkey]

Nope, take the higher ground, give her £20 voucher and then in all seriousness say

"Thanks for looking after DD, especially as my mum has cancer and as you know I have no other help, and I am so sorry about the swim stuff. Here is some money for a costume you money grubbing shit. Now fuck off."

I hope your mum is OK

[MrsC2010]

I think the childcare thing is out of order, but you have lost her costume and are a little blase about it. For the costume thing YABU, she is to charge you that much for childcare.