1 in 10 women murdered by a man are murdered by their son! And this is an increasing trend!

[nextdoorsgerbil]

Bloody hell!

This shocked me. (was just on the news).

Why? And why is this an increasing trend?

Took me a couple of secs to understand what you meant. I'd say it's shouldn't be a massive shock. But it should be a shock.
Stay on MN for a while and you'll see parents at their wits end with their entitled, uncommunicative, 18+ aged sons. Males who are either hooked on cannabis and/or gaming and generally allergic to positive structure in their life.

I am definately following this thread. It can't just be due to autism/ adhd/ covid/ poor mental health

The rise of misogyny from the likes of Tate are culpable. The rise of the incel and their hatred towards women.

It's rife. I am not shocked or surprised. A lot of men want to hurt us, that includes our family members.

It was just last month that the 70000 strong group of men who post about having had, or wanting to sexually assault or rape their sisters and mothers. Showing evidence of doing so.

Unfortunately, as mother's, these men are our sons, and we aren't immune.

Male entitlement being challenged.

Elder abuse and Financial Abuse of women is commonly committed by the sons.

I m going to hazard a guess that as the patriarch of the family gets older and less capable, the younger male starts to assert dominance, sometimes inappropriately. I ve seen this through in laws, I think it's particularly relevant for only sons and also for sons who feel aggrieved by something that held them back or some inequality of the past that they were exposed to and that feeds their sense of entitlement to exert control.

Blame the patriarchy.

Toxic masculinity. It's on the rise, alongside fascism.

Mental illness / mother the only person they still have a relationship ship with or bothers with them.

Would be my theory.

Mental health issues and lack of support were cited as a major cause (in 70% of cases).

Many women are raising sons with MH issues alone and are not as physically strong as a grown (or adolescent) male, so when there's no other male in the house to mediate their rage, they can feel uninhibited in expressing their frustrations physically, and the person most likely to bear the brunt of them lashing out is the mother, as being the nearest person who is usually trying to help them and is not being pushed away by their challenging behaviours.

And there is woefully inadequate support for mental health and those caring for people with MH issues, plus I can imagine that mothers are even less likely to report domestic violence from sons than they are from partners.

For every woman murdered, of course there will be hundreds or thousands being abused by their sons in their own homes

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025/mar/05/more-than-170-mothers-killed-by-sons-15-years-uk-report

The headline made me wonder how many daughters have killed their mothers. But the report is based on data of women killed by men, so it doesn't say.

Does anyone know if there is UK data about both male and female killers of women?

I wonder if this is it. An increasingly online, isolated world. Online, isolated men. Mental health problems arising or exacerbated by this. They kill the person they know. Their mother who they live with.

once upon a time a person who is psychotic was put away for their own safety and everyone elses. Now they are allowed do what they want, to some extent. Where does a man go when he loses his job, struggles with drug abuse, is convicted of DV etc? Back to his mother. I'm convinced these are mostly MH related rather than financial motive.

My brothers have lots of issues due to my mother.
They are angry.
If I got a call about it, I wouldn’t die of shock.
Some mothers are just vile. Naturally I hope that never happens. But I’m just giving you an honest perspective

There needs to be better research into the lead up and triggers, I think. We have a pretty good understanding of how partner to partner domestic violence develops and escalates but what I see here is quite vague - "mental illness" covers a huge range of possible scenarios.

I’d guess also that the rise of men/boys not living with their fathers has contributed. No or poor role modelling. Lack of discipline and respect as they grow and are able to dominate their parental figure (mother) with little pushback.
In almost every thread here where women are tearing their hair out about really awful teen or YA behaviour (from both boys and girls) the follow up post is that no, their father doesn’t live with them. They are either a single parent or there’s a man in the house who is not their bio dad.

Actually that reminds me. I once very briefly dated a man with complex PTSD due to his violent mother. He said she stopped beating when, at age 10, she was lunging towards him to hit him again and he picked up a kitchen knife and told her that if she ever tried to hit him again, he would kill her. And he said he meant it too.

I actually imagined the opposite, that boys grow up seeing their mum controlled and abused by dad and learn to copy. That's very common too.

Like isn’t this the reason the Menendez brothers are set to be offered an opportunity for parole. They were systematically abused by both parents. One sexually while the other turned a blind eye, amongst other reasons.

In almost every thread here where women are tearing their hair out about really awful teen or YA behaviour (from both boys and girls) the follow up post is that no, their father doesn’t live with them. They are either a single parent or there’s a man in the house who is not their bio dad

Yes I do think many of us are raising our children in very unnatural and difficult circumstances. I do think ' it takes a village' is true. How we evolved, kids would have been raised by older kids, other adults in the extended family and community. Now, in single parent families, there is all that pressure on one parent probably working full time in a job and in the house. Its too much. How can you have time for your kids and yourself like that?

🙄

Miniscule, I bet.

A lone parent friend of friend has a young adult son with Autism- He has put her life in serious danger twice.
( Won’t say what he did)
She was unconscious.

He now lives in a “Unit” but she wants him back as she misses him.

Even a 14 yr old boy is capable of lifting up his mum physically- so I’m not surprised at that shocking rate of sons killing their mothers.

Awful. ( I have a now adult son )
Boys especially need good boundaries, routine and to be told “ No”. ( no physical punishment needed!)

@nextdoorsgerbil but the man that you describe probably left his mother as soon as he could and cut her out. i doubt he would have stayed with her well into adulthood. I think that's the profile of a different type of person.

The ones who kill their mothers are usually voluntarily living at home. Almost always there is a history to MH problems and a mother who has no option. And a society who doesn't give a fuck cos hey, its only a mother. Same as mothers who are full time carers for physically disabled adult children. Its their problem, not society's.

I should add, the cost and lack of availability of private rental properties possibly contributes to this issue.

I remember a social work senior manager for learning disabilities telling me about the issues they had with mother livings with adult sons with severe learning disabilities who are so violent that no accommodation will take them (that is no secure supported accommodation for people with learning disabilities) so they are left living with their mothers.

She also talked about how common it is for Fathers to bugger off as they 'can't cope' with the child with disabilities, so the Mother is left doing it alone instead.

Do you have a link please, if possible? That is so worrying.

Yes he did. But he was also clear that he would have killed her when he was a child if she ever tried to hit him again. He'd had enough. She obviously believed him too as she never did.

She in her turn has been appallingly abused by her own Mother as a child.

The figures cover the period since 2009, so it's unlikely that Andrew Tate had much effect.

Mental ill health was a factor in 58% of matricide cases. Mental health campaigners will no doubt trot out their usual line about mentally ill people being more likely to be victims than perpetrators. Both statistics can be true at the same time.

The place with the highest rate of femicide over the period was Leicestershire. Andrew Tate must have unusual influence in that part of the world. Unless there are other factors at work there...

The place with the highest rate of femicide over the period was Leicestershire. Andrew Tate must have unusual influence in that part of the world. Unless there are other factors at work there

Hmm. Leicester has one of the highest, if not the highest, Asian populations in the UK by percentage of population.

Given that, it would be interesting to get a ethnicity breakdown of these murders of mothers across the UK to see if there are any cultural factors at play.