Fairy tale of –New York-- Mumsnet
It was Christmas Eve babe
Here on mumsnet
A poster whinged to me
There’s mumsnet royalty
And then we posted stuff
Into A-I-B-U
I logged onto my phone
And trolled about poo.
So often I’m logged on
I may neglect my son
I’ve started to suspect
I’m not the only one
So Happy Christmas
I love you Mumsnet
I can see another year
When I hang out here…
They’ve got threads that take off
They’ve got threads that just fail
But the worst ones for fighting
Link to Daily Mail
When you first flamed my arse
In a mega bun-fight
You said I’d get mentioned
By damned Matthew Wright
We’re vipers
We’re swearers
You’d best all beware us
When the thread hit one-thousand
We started anew
In chat they got lairy
All the trolls were quite hairy
and sometimes its scary
In AIBU
And the Folk of the MNHQ choir
were begging “please behave”
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.
You’re a knob
You’re a grunt
You’re an atrocious cunt
Now its message deleted but you know I’m right
You credulous reader
You mad troll believer
Yes Its Christmas I know
But dear god you’re so PO
And the Folk of the MNHQ choir
were begging “please behave”
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.
I’m just a knackered Mum
I’m not the only one
I lost a chunk of me
When I gave birth you see
And though I love my child
That moment they first smiled
I like to spend a while
where I can swear without you.
And the Folk of the MNHQ choir
were begging “please behave”
And the bells were ringing out
For Christmas day.
And ohmygod how long did that take you! V impressed.
That made me well up, feeling sensitive today 
EleanorGiftbasket
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:17:12
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Aw fanks.
writing it? Not that long, but the sound of my typing made it look like I was actually working for the last 20 mins. Just got another 6 hours left to go!
EveryYuleKnows
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:19:06
Keema is our Poet Extraordinaire !
Got it in my head now 
StewieGriffinsMom
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:19:53
You are my favourite poet.
That Shakespeare dude was piss-poor in comparison with you.
EchoBitch
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:20:02
When will you,will you get published?
Fantastic!
EchoBitch
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:20:55
^^ to the tune of when will i,will i be famous. 
AudrinaWhiteChristmasAdare
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:21:26
"You’re a knob
You’re a grunt
You’re an atrocious cunt"
That's my very favourite bit - I will be singing it in my head all day
FairyJengleBells
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:21:54
Absolutely amazing!!!!
HQ I demand this gets saved forever!!
Audrina, that was my best bit too. It took a while to fit atrocious cunt in and there was a sense of pride one I'd managed it.
EchoBitch
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:22:56
Audrina...YES,that's the best line i've heard in years.
RebeccaTheHallsMumsnet
(MNHQ)
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:29:07
"Please Behave"
<claps loudly>
Fabulous
FarelyKnuts
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:31:16
That is the best version of that song EVER!! 
and you have way too much time on your hands :0
musttidyupBeforeSantaComes
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:32:22
*I lost a chunk of me
When I gave birth you see*
Genius.
Well done
GotMyGoat
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:33:43
<loud applause>
Seal claps all round!
IvanaNapAfterChristmasDinner
Mon 24-Dec-12 11:36:08
"the sound of my typing made it look like I was actually working for the last 20 mins"
I hate the original - I love your version by comparison! Gold star for Keema
FarelyKnuts - I'm letting my staff go home at midday, but someone has to stay here until the end of the day, so yes, I have a lot of time to kill.
Yes, I could be working, but this seemed a much better use of my time.
