A student on a teaching practise in my class of Year 2 children was doing a maths lesson that I was observing. She made a simple mistake in a calculation and said loudly 'oh bugger' to the children sitting on the carpet infront of her!
The children all looked shocked but didn't speak, they just collectively turned round to look at me at the back of the room.
I wasn't sure whether to tell her off or what to do! I can remember muttering something about words slipping out and how the children were too sensible to repeat the word!
Studying 'Blackberry-Picking' by Seamus Heaney with bottom set all-boy Year 11, I tried to get them to understand the simile 'our palms sticky as Bluebeard's' with a breezy 'come on, boys, what else makes your palms sticky?'
I was once reminding year seven about paragraphs. I was using the acronym tiptop to help them to remember when to start a new paragraph. I wrote it on the board in foot high letters and missed out the first p. I realised but froze momentarily before rectifying my mistake. At that precise moment my HOD walked in to see the word Tit written in quite large letters on my board!
Love these! At my mum's school pupils had to meet with Roger the careers advice bloke and my mum used to ask pupils if they 'had been Rogered yet' She had no idea what she was saying (and was the head teacher) I had to explain why they kept pissing themslves laughing.
DS told me about his English teacher to an all-male class - I think it was in Year 11- talking about a classmate's writing. She wanted to use a 'dog with a bone' metaphor about how he had emphasised a certain theme in a piece of work. Unfortunately it came out 'Colin's not only got hold of his bone, he's really shaking it about....'
In my whole career, I have only ever sworn in front of the students once- I was an art teacher, and at the end of a year 9 drawing lesson I asked a few kids to show their drawings. My response to one of the drawings? "That's fucking brilliant!" It just slipped out. Naturally, I apologised profusely.
When I taught in a rural school, the Yr 6 boys were asked to help herd some sheep back into the field, that had escaped onto the yard. They were gone for ages and when they cam back I asked one of them "Where on earth have you been?" meaning what took so long? He answered "I've been chasing sheep" at which point, god only knows why, I said "Ha, couldn't get a girlfriend could you?". So inappropriate, but luckily it passed over his head, not so one very knowing girl in the class who nearly laughed herself sick.
I recently misread a line in Mockingbird. Got my tongue in a twist over the "shoot all the bluejays you like." I got the b and the j the wrong way round and it came out "shoot all the jews..." eek. Class were scared to laugh at first!