Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

1 2 3 4

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

What would you do if your 13 year old daughter came home in an ambulance having

78 replies

Beetroot · 31/10/2008 11:22

drunk a bottle of vodka, been sick and wet herself?

OP posts:

Report

Geepers · 31/10/2008 11:25

help her wash, put her to bed, then ground her for the rest of her life.

Report

yarooo · 31/10/2008 11:26

oh dear

is she ok today?

Report

ladymariner · 31/10/2008 11:26

Make sure she's ok first.
Find out the whys, wheres and who withs second.
Then decide from there.

Could well involve arse-kicking and grounding, though!

Report

Marina · 31/10/2008 11:27

Oh no, beets
Show her a close-up photo of Brian Clough's nose and ground her for the rest of her life?
You know who you need - Janh had a similar one-off with one of her ds'. I seem to recall she handled it brilliantly, as ever
I would be bad at this, I know, as my instinct would be to be scathingly angry with my child

Report

beaniescreamyb · 31/10/2008 11:28

What time of night/day did she come home?

Report

ghosty · 31/10/2008 11:29

Well, my brother was 14 and something similar happened to him. My parents felt his hangover was a lesson to him. I am not so sure as he is a big big drinker now (he is 43) and has liver damage.
I don't know what to suggest. I don't think this is your DD though is it beetroot? I thought you just had sons???

Report

AussieLou · 31/10/2008 11:30

Let her suffer the effects of a hangover with little to no sympathy.
Explain to her that the ambulance is for real life threatning emergencies and its not a taxi for drunk people (I used to work for the ambulance so can get up on my high horse about this a bit).
Explain to her that what she is doing is dangerous. She could have been raped while drunk.´
Let her know that you were extremely worried.
Explain that she can die while passed out.
Let her know that you are very disappointed in her behavious.
And lastly let her know that everyone does stupid things in life but she is too young to be doing this. Let her know that she is forgiven and that you hope she learns from this. Give her a hug, some paracetamol, big glass of coke and a some food.

Report

ShowOfHands · 31/10/2008 11:30

Worry. Profusely.

Establish why, where, who.

Support her to understand why and make better decisions.

Trips to local charities and shelters to see the consequences of excessive alcohol consumption (not trips per se, it's not an outing, I do know this- I help out at several and take dd with me anyway but she's only a littlie atm)

Appropriate punishment/ reassessment of privileges and responsibilities.

Report

zippitippitoes · 31/10/2008 11:30

i would be horrified at the waste of resources...ambulances are not supposed to be taxis..they arent allowed to take people home only to hospital in these circumstances so i am

Report

Geepers · 31/10/2008 11:30

Drinking is one of those things you will never stop a teenager doing unless they have no desire to do it.

Hopefully she will feel so shitty for the next day or two that she won't be doing it again in a hurry.

I have a teen from hell so him coming home drunk would be a welcome change from some of the stuff he does.

Report

yarooo · 31/10/2008 11:31

good point zippi

why would she come home in one (unless they decided she didn't need to go to hospital after assessing her?)

Report

LoveMyGirls · 31/10/2008 11:32

I wouldnt ground her for that long I don't think, we've all done it at least once, I think this will be the last time for a long time!

Report

childrenofthecornsilk · 31/10/2008 11:32

After reminding myself of similar incidents in my own youth (although not involving ambulances) I would wash her, put her to bed and let the hangover from hell that she'll have when she wakes up take over.

Report

littleducks · 31/10/2008 11:32

i once helped a girl who had done a similar thing in the park after school (she had never drunk before)

her mum saw she was drunk and slapped her, she fell straight to the floor and we had to lift her into her mums car for her to be checked at hosp

i think i n the short term not much as there must be little point but the next day there would be a BIG TALK ........

hopefully ending with the realisation that alcohol should be avoided permanently!

Report

yarooo · 31/10/2008 11:33

do you really think it's normal at 13yo?

it wasn't when i was 13yo

Report

SpookyButNice · 31/10/2008 11:33

I didn't think ambulances ever take people home? If you don't need to go to hospital then you don't need an ambulance.

As for the teenage drinking - the hangover and vomit-soaked embarrassment will be punishment enough to put them off drinking for a while I would think.

Find out who they were with, who instigated it, where they got the vodka from, and explain the reasons why it's illegal for 13 year olds to drink

Report

zippitippitoes · 31/10/2008 11:34

if she is in an ambulance and they decide she doesnt need to go to hospital they should not take her home those are the rules

it isnt the function of an ambulance

Report

ShowOfHands · 31/10/2008 11:34

We haven't all done it at least once LoveMyGirls but remembering that we've all made mistakes is important here I agree.

Poor girl's going to have a bad headache. My best friend drank a bottle of vodka aged 18 and lost 2 days.

Report

Marina · 31/10/2008 11:34

I'd make her wash her clothes
and agree about visiting a shelter/A & E on a Saturday night, great idea SoH
I might also contact the hospital and ask for assistance in tracing the crew who brought her home, and make her apologise to them if feasible
But of course I'd be worried about where she got the vodka and what role peer pressure/coercion played in all of this. I'd want to know where she was at the time.
I'd be distraught. This is only 4 short years older than my home-loving, bookworm pfb ds.

Report

twoluvlykids · 31/10/2008 11:35

tell her if she does it again, you'll post that she wet her knickers on facebook

Report

missingtheaction · 31/10/2008 11:35

aaaaaarrrrgh!

did an ambulance really bring her home? (sorry, digression,but they aren't supposed to do that)

Well, how you deal with it depends on lots of things - has she been building up to this or is it out of the blue? are you usually calm and considered when you tell her off or do you usually have a cow?

In my household i am laid back and reasonable so in this case i would have a COMPLETE ROOF-RAISING COW, making the following points (Starting with teenage-centric selfish ones to get her attention)

what she did made her look stupid and revolting. Is this the impression she wants to give of herself? Is this how little respect she has for herself? does she really feel so badly about herself?
what she did was dangerous to herself - she could have been injured, she could have been killed (i can tell her, the body of someone who has inhaled their own vomit while drunk and choked to death is not a nice sight or smell).
wrecking her body like this will make her fat, spotty, weak, prone to infections. And hangovers at school are not fun. Drunk girls make bad decisions - is she sure she wouldn't benefit from a morning-after pill and a trip to the GU clinic?
more importantly (to me not to her) her selfish stupid actions meant that the ambulance service and presumably hospital had to pay her attention when they were needed by someone really sick and in a real emergency. Because of her it is likely that some poor old lady had to spend extra time on the floor after a fall or they had to take a nurse away from someone ill in hospital.

I would then ground her for the rest of her life and flounce out slamming the doors.

But that's my hosuehold.

Report

jesuswhatnext · 31/10/2008 11:35

be bloody angry, be bloody grateful to the amublance crew, NOT blame myself, try and keep a sense of proportion.

then ground her for life, remove all privilidges until she is 45 and make her eat very greasy full english when she wakes up while you bang around the kitchen as loudly as possible

seriously, be kind, she will feel like hell and will have embaressed herself.

tehn ground her!

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Email address

You've subscribed!

Marina · 31/10/2008 11:36

I'd say the crew must have taken pity on her and bent the rules

Report

yarooo · 31/10/2008 11:36

that's what i thought, marina

Report

beaniescreamyb · 31/10/2008 11:36

If it were my daughter it would depend on the circumstances. If she were out beyond 9 then I think I would question my own parenting. If she had been served in a shop I would go to the shop and complain. If she had stolen the alcohol from home I would be very unhappy. If older people had got her drunk I might have a showdown with them.