Apologies for this. I just need to write this down.
I am starting to think of the self-harm as being a parasite, like threadworms or head lice. It isnt the person, it is something feeding off the host teenager. Also, it is contagious.
And like thread worms or head lice it is extremely unlikely to clear up on its own.
My DD first started self harming about 2 years ago when she was 13. This outbreak was apparently in response to a difficult, bullying friendship. It was apparently just a week of scratching and cutting herself with scissors.
We reacted by surrounding DD with love and tried to help her build her confidence and distance herself from this bullying friendship. It seemed that the problem was solved.
Then about 6 months ago I noticed marks on DD's legs. Not cuts this time. I asked DD about them and got brushed off. I wasnt sure what the problem was but I was fairly sure it wasnt totally innocent. At the same time DD was 15 so I didnt feel in a position to force her to get help except in the practical sense of going to see the nurse to make sure that the marks on her legs were healing.
DD started leaving her legs exposed but was now covering her arms. Once or twice she would not cover up completely and I would see a mark. I asked her about these marks and would get brushed off.
Fast forward to yesterday. DD came downstairs with vomit on her clothes. In the early hours she had taken a shed load of paracetamol and other over the counter tablets. She was vomiting, feeling very ill. On medical advice (we are literally round the corner from our doctor who DH saw within 5 minutes) DH took DD to A&E. DD is now in hospital receiving treatment to protect her liver while the tablets work through.
Now looking back I can see that we made the mistake of thinking that the initial self harming would cure itself. It didnt and I wonder if our treatment made the problem worse by both rewarding the self harm and also pushing it out of sight. We didnt talk about the self harm, we wanted DD to focus on what we saw as the cause.
This was our mistake. We should have got help immediately for that first outbreak. Now the infection of self harm is worse. DD is older so her self harm has got more sophisticated. What a mess this is. We didnt do enough. We didnt take this seriously enough. Because of that DD has risked her life.
I spoke to the nurse in the children's ward where DD has been admitted. They see half a dozen or more self harm patients a week. So there are probably hundreds of families going through this today. If you are one of them you have my heartfelt sympathy.
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Self harming teenager
GnomeDePlume · 28/07/2015 07:37
Oh that is good news, I'm so pleased for you. I hope this is the beginning of change for you both.
My DD is hiding her arm today 
but her mood is good. Such a strange life.
That was a wise thing to do, but regarding self harm, please rember it is a release. Maybe finding something to replace it would be a good idea? Suggest an elastic band on her wrist to ping when she feels anxious or upset. Or buy some cheap plates, go in the garden and let her scream and smash them, that sort of stuff brings so much relief. But also try to treat her as normal as possible, obviously you are going to want to wrap her up on cotton wool but if she needs space then give it to her. Things will go back to normal eventually. 
I had a very similar experience recently but I wasn't at home when it happened but luckily she called our doctor. But it was awful and she had said earlier in the year that she was depressed but then wouldn't have any counselling although referred by the doctor.
so easy to think you should have done more but sometimes it takes something big for them to accept they need help.
We are seeing CAMHS regularly now and I am hoping we are on the road to recovery.
It is very hard.
I have been through this, almost word for word.
Last summer (end of Year 8) he started self harming. No real reason we could fathom apart from an explosion of hormones and adolescence kicking in over the space of a few weeks. Maybe too much to handle? We thought the same as you. Friends feeding off each other, they're all doing it etc.
He stopped over the summer hols but started again in October Year 9. This time, it was more serious. It was more hidden, coupled with hours in a darkened room on his phone. We got him psychotherapy from December which we thought was helping (to be fair, his self harming got lots better) but this lulled us into a false sense of security. The signs were there, but we didn't see them, failed to realised their significance, purely because he wasn't self harming so much.
But 3 days after his 14th birthday, he did the same as your dd. Paracetamol, coupled with any other tablets he could get from our cupboard, washed down with vodka. Luckily, he was sick. I then spent 10 mins in his room clearing it up (at this point I still thought he had a bug!). But thank God I did, because it was during this 10 mins that he told me what he had done. We called an ambulance and he also spent 21 hours on a drip to counteract the side effects of paracetamol and protect his liver.
We saw CAHMs crisis that day, then every other day at home once discharged. He saw a psychiatrist within 8 days (which we have been told is very rare and can often be up to 2 months later) who prescribed antidepressants a week later (she needed to be sure he would have ways and means of telling us of any suicidal thoughts should they arise before she prescribed them, seeing as they can increase such thoughts initially and also because he hadn't been able to tell us before).
Nearly 3 months later, he is a different child. I am dreading his coming off the ad's because I can't bear the thought of him going back down into the depths of despair again.
I feel like you do OP. I also think we didn't do enough. Despite all the psychotherapy. He gave us signs that I thought were just teenagerdom!!
It is a hard path to tread. I was (and to a certain extent still am) thinking that I would be pleased if he would self harm because at least then he would be doing something to manage his emotions other than trying to kill himself
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