Ds totally lost the plot because I stopped him taking a bong to school !!!

(87 Posts)
justbreathe Mon 01-Oct-12 20:12:00

My Ds 16 has completely lost it.

I took him out of school for an appointment today , he went off into a shop to get something and left his bag in the car. He had been being really suspicious with his bag so I had a look inside and found a large bong. I asked what the hell he was doing taking a bong to school... I know a lot of kids at his school smoke dope and he knows I dissaprove.
He went completely crazy at me invading his privacy and looking in his bag, and that if he wanted to take it to school he would and it was none of my f**ing business.
He refused to give it to me and ran off and either stashed it or gave it to a friend. I went after him and threatened to go into the school and tell the head. We talked or rather he shouted his head off, dented the car and spat ... He totally .lost the plot and went quite insane for a bit.
As he was in no state to go back into class and I wasn't sure if I wanted to involve the school I decided to take him home.
He is still really outraged that I went prying into his stuff and adamant that he will take his bong to school and smoke dope there if he wants......
I am completely flumoxed at his violent outburst/stupidity/ total lack of respect for any rules. should I tell the school ? I haven't found them very supportive in the past and they already know he's a smoker.
I am furious and want to punish him but also fear he is on the edge and If I go in too hard he will leave home and move in with his dodgy friend and his drug addict mum.
He really is convinced that its ME who has the problem and the fact that he is bothering to go to school and turning up for class means that he should be able to get stoned in his free periods !!!

My ex smoked cannabis in different forms since he was 11. He didnt grow any facial or chest hair until he came off it at 22.

It led him to steal from his parents to the point they had no choice but to kick him out. They had to take out a non molestation order. He was homeless for years and spent a lot of that time in a YOC due to breaking the non mol. He got three GCSEs and even he says he doesnt know how. He ended up living with a convicted paedophile until he finally got sheltered accommodation.

I got him clean. I moved him away from where he lived. I accidentally got pregnant and I had to deal with his moods, abuse, paranoia, anxiety, stress, depression. He was agoraphobic for a time too.

When he did stop he had a relapse and had hallucinations, a panic attack and thought he was dead.

He is now clean. Has a job. Drives. Is a father to his daughter. So he came good.

That doesnt mean it didnt have a lasting effect on his life. He regrets every minute of it and always will. He used to tell me it wasnt addictive and did no harm. Now he cant believe how stupid he really was.

And it didnt just affect him. Im in a lot of debt from that time. Not to mention the emotional scars.

Sorry if thats a bit of a hijack OP.

justbreathe Tue 02-Oct-12 10:24:13

sorry wannabe , I think i confused you with shirt there...*

flow4* that's very interesting stuff about skunk . I had no idea about that. When I was younger we smoked weed but I stopped B4 all this hydroponic skunk came on the market. When DS first started smoking I didn't approve but didn't realise quite what effect the weed he was smoking would have on him .

couthyMow Thanks for you honesty. I think for my Ds it has a lot to do with fitting in and being seen as cool. He struggled with school when he was younger, was a bit adhd and I think the dope helped him chill out and make friends with the cool kids...

What effects does M-cat have ? He's into raves (though only been to about 3) so probably encountered a whole world of chemicals that I have no idea about.

justbreathe Tue 02-Oct-12 10:30:50

sorry to hear what you've been through wannabe sounds like your ex was lucky to find you. Not a highjack at all. Its very supporting for me to hear that i am not alone with all this

I just wanted to explain why I maybe came across a bit gung ho with the police etc.

I know that when mine are teens I would move house to stop them taking drugs of any kind. Its honestly my worst nightmare.

I do realise that not everyone can or does have that same attitude. But I truely sympathise with what you are going through!

ShirtRipper Tue 02-Oct-12 12:06:56

You cant really blame somebody's mental illness on cannabis. That is beyond ignorant and just shows how small minded and bigoted some people are.

I have mental health issues, I use cannabis to help alleviate the symptoms of these issues and have been using the evil super skunk or whatever you want to call it since I was 13 years old. I'm now 27 so if anyone was going to suffer with the much hyped and non existent cannabis induced psychosis I think it would have been me, as I already suffered from a eating disorder and ocd ect.

. I must point out for the numpties on here that my mh issues have been apparent since before then, so cannabis use is not a cause of this at all.

I haven't ruined my life, I am a tax paying, otherwise law abiding citizen and I don't hurt anybody. I wont stand for stupid myth perpetuation when it damages legitimate medical users and tars us with a brush of disgrace and shame. We have nothing to be ashamed of, Its a bloody plant, it is non toxic with no lethal dose, has never killed anyone and is the safest medicine known to man.

The funniest thing is the hypocrisy of some posters that think nothing of getting pissed thrice weekly and don't see that they have a drug problem that is more serious and damaging to self and also society as a whole, and they attempt to justify that by harping on about legality.

I love how the points I made about alcohol, porn ect were ignored too.

Chubfuddler Tue 02-Oct-12 12:13:22

Using skunk since you were 13? Oh no that won't have had any effect on your mental health. No sireee.

And even if it hasn't, that proves nothing. My FIL has smoked 30 a day since he was 14. He doesn't have lung cancer. Doesn't mean smoking isn't a cause of lung cancer. Just means it hasn't got him. (His macular degeneration is of course in no way linked to smoking of course).

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There is always someone on these threads who knows that skunk is great and we would all be better off smoking it.

The reality is, many families have been devastated by the effects of skunk. That included mine.

ShirtRipper Tue 02-Oct-12 12:48:31

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grin

It isn't some kind of medicine. It is a very strong, illegal drug. My son was a really sweet, imaginative, kindly boy until he started smoking it. Ten years later, he is totally unrecognisable and all that promise has gone.

He doesn't think it has had any effect on him either.

Laura, Im really sorry to hear that sad

ShirtRipper Tue 02-Oct-12 12:53:40

Chubfuddler Tue 02-Oct-12 12:13:22
Using skunk since you were 13? Oh no that won't have had any effect on your mental health. No sireee.

And even if it hasn't, that proves nothing. My FIL has smoked 30 a day since he was 14. He doesn't have lung cancer. Doesn't mean smoking isn't a cause of lung cancer. Just means it hasn't got him. (His macular degeneration is of course in no way linked to smoking of course).

Ok, first part of your post is judgmental and rude, It could be taken as bullying, I already stated that my ed and ocd were apparent before but whatever, just manipulate a conversation to go your way, and fwiw cannabis is nowhere near as damaging as tobacco. Why don't you use google and prove yourself wrong?

Chubfuddler Tue 02-Oct-12 12:54:20

I think most of the people on this thread have direct personal experience of it wrecking lives, actually. If you bothered to read the thread properly you might notice. Perhaps skunk inhibits reading skills too?

Shirt, a part of your last post to me could be called bullying.

More so than what chubb posted.

ShirtyKnot Tue 02-Oct-12 12:56:58

I cannot believe that on a thread where posters have given heartfelt testimony of how their children, and their families have suffered due to skunk, that anyone would think it was appropriate to come onto that thread and belittle, criticise and be generally rude to those posters.

It makes me wonder if you're high?

Thanks, wannabe . It's been a long road and we have tried every avenue we can think of but we have come to end of our parenting involvement with him now. We helped him to leave home at the beginning of the summer and he can sink or swim by himself now. It hurts but not so much as having him here and never having a minutes peace.

ShirtRipper Tue 02-Oct-12 13:01:07

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ShirtRipper Tue 02-Oct-12 13:02:06

wannabedomesticgoddess Tue 02-Oct-12 12:56:07
Shirt, a part of your last post to me could be called bullying.

More so than what chubb posted.

Care to elaborate?

Shirty There is always someone on these threads who says that it's great.

Funnily enough, the 'chatting shit' remark from ShirtRipper is what DS1 always says if you disagree with him. Skunk doesn't make you terribly articulate grin

I can only imagine how hard it is for you Laura. I can still wrap my DD in cotton wool. Its my worst fear.

But you have done all that you can now. I hope one day you will get the son you remember back! It can and does happen!

Chubfuddler Tue 02-Oct-12 13:04:37

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EldritchCleavage Tue 02-Oct-12 13:07:34

Shirt, seriously, why are you on this thread? You seem to be taking it very personally, as though people decrying dope smoking are specifically attacking you.

And your sole experience proves little. It is an anecdote, and no more.

Can't you at least have some empathy for the posters, especially the OP, so worried about their children?

ShirtRipper Tue 02-Oct-12 13:07:59

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I could elaborate. It would involve a lot of copy and paste.

But I wont. Because it wouldnt get any of us anywhere. You are right. Sitting there in your smoke filled room. Telling the world that they are wrong.

I could be angry at you. Or offended. But Im not. Im worried for you and I feel sad for those around you who have to watch this everyday.

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