Fucking GP can fuck right off-condescending cow.

(74 Posts)
Inapickle123 Fri 28-Mar-14 16:29:31

Just so upset.

I've posted before about DS who was born 10 weeks ago. From the get-go he was a crap feeder and sleeper and would wake himself up screaming in pain. You can physically see the spasms when his tummy is exposed. He screams as be can't get the farts out and it takes up to an hour for each and poos are his Everest.

After much discussion with the HV, she thought he had reflux (was vomiting a lot too) so we switched formulas to aptamil anti-reflux and used dr brown bottles.

Vomiting stopped but STILL in ago y after EVERY feed. It's obviously worse at night (peaks at 2am) as he's lying down and everything is slower at not, but he screams during the day too-until he farts.

After posting here, someone suggested that he may have a cows milk protein allergy. At this stage, I'll consider anything so off I went to the GP.

Talk about your all time horrific experiences.

Full disclosure:I have severe PND and have been under the care of the mental health team since he was 2 weeks old. I've never had mental health problems before and-without wanting to offend-I'm not the "type". I'm incredibly rational, organised and usual have my shit together so it came as a surprise to me. I know it can affect anyone (case and point) but I really didn't expect it.

My notes at the GP refer to the CPN involvement so, as I was explaining DS's symptoms, all she did was look at my notes. When I asked for a hypoallergenic formula to try (anything at this stage is worth a shot-we've tried everything else-new formula, exercises, sleeping propped up, smaller feeds, larger feeds, new bottles, new teats...) she told me it was "just colic" and that I'm just looking for it to be something when it's nothing (but phrased a little more tactfully) before printing off Wikipedia's entry on colic for me to take home to read.

She then agreed to try the formula for two weeks as it "would give me reassurance" but then-get this-said she didn't know which one to prescribe and I needed to come back on Tuesday so she could consult the HV.

I'm tired of being told I just have a "difficult" baby.

I'm tired if being dismissed as An over the top first time mum

I'm so upset that my diagnosis of PND means that my boy's pain is just seen as a manifestation of my apparent unhappiness and inability to cope.

I'm sorry they can't see him as he writhes in agony pretty much all night.

Most of all, I'm sick of just being treated like something g you find on the bottom of your shoe. Prior to the baby, I'd seen a dr precisely 6 times in the last 5 years.

I'm not a hypochondriac. I am not looking for answers for my "colicky" baby. I am looking for support in an extremely trying time. Is it wrong to want to exhaust all options? Surely this is better than pumping him full of drugs?

You may be a dr but I have a phd too (albeit in a completely pointless field) I'm not a hysterical mum getting off on the "drama" of having a sickly baby-I want to do everything
I can to make him happy and comfortable.

Do I try and distract him when he has an episode? No, I leave my 10 week old to cry it out. Don't suppose you want to come round tonight and hold the dummy in his mouth between 2-7 while the poor soul bites down, writhes, screams and clenches and spasms?

Oh, your kids all had colic, so you know what it is? Cracking. Excuse me while I go any get my second opinion, condescending cow.

Sorry to rant but I am so angry. Had I gone in asking for drugs for my anxiety or to help me sleep, they would have thrown them at me, but ask for help in settling a truly miserable baby? Apparently I can go and fuck right off.

defineme Fri 28-Mar-14 16:35:02

What a tough time you're having.

Sorry your GP was so unsupportive/dismissive. Hold on to the fact that you achieved your aim-you got the agreement for the formula. I assume you could just go and collect the prescription and not see her again?

You sound like you're doing brilliantly to me-exploring every possibility to help your baby. Well done you.

MissMilbanke Fri 28-Mar-14 16:43:00

GPS can vary so much and unfortunately you got one who was having a bad day.

On the positive side you have achieved your objective - well done!

Lets hope it works and does the job - you must be exhausted.

Have you got any help, parents etc who could stand in for a bit to give you time to catch up on your sleep ?

Keep ranting in here though its therapeautic !!

Congratulations by the way !

AnyaKnowIt Fri 28-Mar-14 16:45:20

Oh op its shit isn't it.

My did had reflux as a baby and it took an a+e trip before anyone took any notice.

Could you go and see another GP OP? I don't have experience of this particular problem but I do have experience of useless and dismissive GPs. When I was 21 I had a nervous breakdown after an abusive relationship broke down and ended up at my doctors in tears saying I didn't know what to do with myself. I'd been mentally and sexually abused for years and I poured my heart out and said I hadn't slept in a week, couldn't eat, was self medicating with alcohol and needed help etc. The GP asked if I was suicidal and when I said no, I wasn't depressed if anything I felt manic, he said there was nothing he could do for me and that I'd have to "just get over things in my own time"!!!! blush

I walked out and asked to see another GP who gave me some
Valium and booked a follow up appointment for the next week.

LongTailedTit Fri 28-Mar-14 16:54:54

Have they suggested or tried any reflux meds, apart from changing formula?
My DS had silent reflux - Infant Gaviscon was useless, but Ranitidine was great, massively helped.

A GP that dismisses a new mother's concerns about her newborn is a shit GP. Any chance you could move to a different doc, or just see someone else next visit?

Justyou Fri 28-Mar-14 16:55:04

Hi I had this exact problem with my oldest dc. It ended with me calling nhs direct one night begging for help as she literally screamed for hours after each feed- midnight drives were a regular thing as it helped her nod off sometimes. I asked them about a milk / lactose intolerance as I d heard of this happening - they said if I had access to soya formula it wouldn't harm her trying it - within hours it was a different baby and the change from then on was unreal. I saw my midwife and dr and we kept her on it and no further problems. Hope it works for u.

Could you keep a diary - feeds, nappies, screaming sessions (times and duration) and film your baby at his worst - show the GP evidence she can't ignore?

Re. the PND - I had this three times, and went to a lecture by Dr Katerina Dalton, who said low blood sugar is a big part of PND - when your blood sugar is low, your body uses it's progesterone receptors to get as much sugar as possible from your blood, so,your progesterone levels drop, leading to PND - that's her theory.

She believes it can help to eat carbs regularly - no more than an hour after waking up, three hourly during the day, and no more than an hour before going to sleep - small amounts, oat cakes, rice cakes, and carbs with your meals (but a bit less, so you are spreading the same amount of carbs across the day) - and this will help keep your blood sugar levels stable.

I always tell people about this because I think it is something that is easy to do, isn't going to affect any medication or therapy they are having, gives them some sense of being in control, and if it doesn't help, it can do no harm.

fraggle500 Fri 28-Mar-14 17:01:17

Gosh I'm so sorry you're going through thishmm
I can't offer any help I'm afraid, however I went through something very similar when my baby was born (he's now 12).
Don't let the doctors or HV make you feel like you're going mad or an over protective mum.
Stick to your guns, chant parrot like the symptoms and don't be fobbed off. Hard I know but you know your baby best , trust your gut.
Sending love and hope x

lapetitesiren Fri 28-Mar-14 17:01:50

Have you tried colief? He may not have enough lactase- chemist can advise you.

JRmumma Fri 28-Mar-14 17:03:53

I could have written your post, minus the PND when DS was the same age (now almost 8 months). The paediatrician who gave us reflux meds refused me the formula and so went back to the GP who said id have to see HV myself so she could tell me which formula i needed and then go back the next week and he would prescribe it.

I told him no, he could contact HV himself that afternoon and id be back at 5pm for the prescription. It might have worked because DS was in full screaming mode and i was covered in sick, standing there looming over him rocking a frantic DS and having to shout over the racket. I think i scared him a little bit actually but i didn't care, i would have done anything at that point.

Its a joke that they will diagnose reflux fairly easily but dismiss CMPA, even though they often go hand in hand. We tried everything else too, bottles etc (Dr Browns a right pain in the arse!) but the condescending prick that was the paediatrician literally laughed at me when i asked about CMPA and trying the milk. Well suprise suprise it did the trick.

Just beware though OP that it might take 3 weeks or so to work so if you only have 2 weeks worth, you will need to lie and say its working to get some more, even if you aren't sure.

I hate the term colic, it means nothing. A mothers instinct is so string that if you think its not just 'colic' then you are probably tight. Good luck and stick to your guns. And PM me if you want to know anything else.

CocktailQueen Fri 28-Mar-14 17:04:30

Loads of hugs from me. Sounds like more than colic to me - sounds like reflux. My dn had this badly - she was on ranitidine, domperidone and gaviscon, couldn't be put down for ages after milk, had to have the head of her cot raised, etc etc. Is only resolving itself now age 3. Can you ask for a referral to pediatric gastro specialist?

JRmumma Fri 28-Mar-14 17:05:54

Strong and right! Not string and tight!

TheCowThatLaughs Fri 28-Mar-14 17:09:07

Could you film him on your phone while he's in pain? I know you shouldn't have to, but it might help to prove it to the GP.

nicky2512 Fri 28-Mar-14 17:14:35

Sorry I have no advice, just sympathy! I just wanted to say that I had the same when DS (now 8) was little. He had pyloric stenosis which took weeks to get diagnosed. The GPs got increasingly rude to me until I was basically told to go away, he was diagnosed with reflux and to stop overreacting. Few days on he was having surgery for his condition. Keep trying different GPs and hopefully you will get some help soon.

Estrellita Fri 28-Mar-14 17:17:53

What a horrible experience, so sorry for you and DS. DD and I went through this as well, the reflux, colic, cmpa. Fortunately I did not have PND, was just extremely exhausted and stressed. It will get better. Well done for being persistent. Try to switch GPs if you can. Hang in there.

quirkychick Fri 28-Mar-14 17:27:24

When dd1 had cmpa (not refluxy but severe instantaneous rash) hv referred her directly to dietician at hospital. I took quite graphic photos of red, blotchy, distraught baby. Dietician took it seriously. Could hv refer you directly? I appreciate slightly different reaction.

Good luck.

zebrafinch Fri 28-Mar-14 17:28:07

Yes, film him on your phone or IPad and show it to the GP or health visitor

Nosleeptillbedtime Fri 28-Mar-14 17:31:28

Go and see another gp and ask for a paediatric appt. your gp was a fucking idiot who made a baseless diagnosis. Your dc sound like mine who had reflux and cow milk protein intolerance. I am so sorry you and your dc are going through this and that you were let down by your gp.

FelixFelix Fri 28-Mar-14 17:32:32

Oh how awful for you sad my dd is 14 weeks and has the same sort of symptoms (albeit not as bad as your ds). We were first prescribed Gaviscon which did help, and she's now not taking any more as the screaming during feeds has stopped. But she has the same sort of tummy problems. She can't poo even though her stools are really soft and she screams in pain through the night/day on and off for hours. I can see her tummy doing the exact same thing as you can see, it's horrible sad It's like she can't seem to relax her muscles enough to get the poo and wind out. I resorted to stimulating her with a cotton bud and Vaseline just so she could go and it would stop the screaming for a little while. I went to the GP too, and he asked if she was still going. I said yes but only because she was getting stimulation from me, and as I'd said she was still pooing he wasn't interested at all angry

She's on Cow & Gate comfort formula for colic and constipation as its a thinner formula and apparently easier to digest and I've also got her on Colief which isn't making a difference. I did loads of research and I'm now giving her Lactulose which is making her poos really watery but it means she's able to pass them easier. She will still cry and her tummy tenses up, but it will only be for about an hour until she goes rather than all day! It may be worth giving it a try. I'm hoping it's something she will grow out of sad

I hope you find a solution soon. Try and see a different GP if possible.

Nosleeptillbedtime Fri 28-Mar-14 17:32:54

You could always try just turning up at a&e at your local children's hospital if you have one?

Scrounger Fri 28-Mar-14 17:39:16

Sorry that you are having such a difficult time, whilst you are in the thick of it, it seems never ending. It will get better though.

I was also going to suggest filming it and seeing another doctor.

I always used to hate the question, "Is this your first child..."

Estrellita Fri 28-Mar-14 18:01:22

I hated hearing "it's just colic". No one actually knows what colic is, or how to treat it. It's a convenient, catch all, easy, lazy diagnosis which can allow a health professional to quickly write off the concerns of an exhausted parent, and conveniently ignore the needs of a suffering baby. Colic is historically thought of as a gastric issue, but really, no one knows. I saw a recent study that showed a strong link between colic and migraine. Children diagnosed with migraine were much more likely to have been colicky babies than non migraine sufferers. They were also much more likely to have parents with migraine. www.webmd.com/migraines-headaches/news/20130416/colic-may-be-linked-to-childhood-migraine-study-says?page=2

SilverStars Fri 28-Mar-14 18:32:07

How frustrating.

I had similar problem and it took a long time to get diagnosed. HV did not believe me, gp obviously did not see the problems. Eventually I found out how they diagnose it here, which is by a paediatrician - no gp will give dairy free formula here unless prescribed by a paediatrician.

Why not get your HV to get your gp to refer you to a paediatrician. A paed will not have your medical notes!!! And will treat what they see. They either do tests for milk allergy ( skin prick) or do it by elimination.

catbus Fri 28-Mar-14 18:44:21

So sorry you were made to feel like shit.
Flying through here but your post flashed me back to 11 years ago when DD2 was newborn. The first few months of her life were hell on earth and exactly as you described, with the pain etc. tried everything, every colic thing, every winding, feeding position. She slept an hour or so out of 24. My husband and I were broken.
Got to the point I was scared of losing her because it felt like she didn't want to be here and was fighting with this all the time.
Whether you 'believe' in Homeopathy or not (I was not convinced but very desperate).. Took her to see a recommended woman. Who asked various seemingly unrelated questions- at which point my heart sank because I thought she was mad and missing why we had brought DD in.
She gave us a remedy, which she later told us was for head pain- tarantula Hispanica I believe.
I shit you not, within a few hours of taking the first one, she morphed into the baby she was supposed to be. No more pain, no more fighting and she SLEPT. We have not looked back.
Homeopath deduced head pain, despite not a difficult birth. We had even previously tried cranial osteopathy, which I put a stop to within minuted because Dd was so distressed.
I am happy to pm you her details, because she saved our bacon and I know that others I have PMd her details to on here have been as pleased smile

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