Hi,
I've never posted before but I'm feeling very low and lonely so hoping for some advice.
I'm currently 29 weeks pregnant with my first baby and my husband is so angry and hateful towards me all the time I don't know if I should leave him.
We met in Paris a few years ago and immediately fell in love. He was perfect and like the man I'd dreamed of. We quickly married and spent the next 6 months living life like a dream in Paris. We then decided to move back to the UK, he's Tunisian but we spoke French together- he didn't speak English.
3 years later and he still hasn't really bothered to learn English, I guess it's part my fault that I haven't pushed him. He struggled to find a job the first 2 years in the UK but has had a market stall for a year now and he does work very hard for very little financial gain. I'm the main breadwinner and I think for his culture the woman being the breadwinner is a difficult pill to swallow.
Anyway, when we were in our honeymoon period he would frequently talk about how many children he wanted, how he would look after me when I was pregnant, the names, the clothes etc. I think a bit part of the reason I fell so deeply in love with him was I thought he would be an amazing father, my own dad was pretty rubbish.
Now I'm pregnant, and he literally hasn't given a sht the whole way through. If I'm tired, got aches and pains etc he doesn't care. He thinks he must be so much more tired as he works longer hours. I also work full time and walk 4 miles round to get to work as he takes the car.
At our 20 week scan, he said it wasn't particularly important so I headed to the hospital by myself in floods of tears. He eventually did show up, and when he learnt it was a boy, showed a slight interest for about half a day.
Yesterday we went to our first NCT Class, he walked out halfway through as he said he couldn't understand it and didn't want to try. I ideally want a natural birth if possible and he wouldn't even listen to the stuff about how a partner can support etc. When they discussed a natural birth he said I should just get a caesarian.
After he left and I embarrassed myself crying in front of my new (and loved up) classmates, I then spent the last half of the class in group discussions, trying to pretend that I wasn't hurt that my husband didn't think it was important and instead had decided to leave to replenish his stock for the market. I could see everyone feeling sorry for me, and even the course leader said I should find a different birth partner.
When I got home in tears, he yelled at me asking why I was crying. I slept in the spare room and today have received a barrage of texts from him while at work saying that all I ever talk about it being pregnant (it really isn't true!) and basically blaming me for everything that could possibly go wrong in his life.
Part of me thinks I should leave him as he clearly doesn't give a crp about our son or me, but then the other part of me which loves him thinks he's maybe stressing out and there's too many cultural differences for us to understand exactly how the other is feeling. I just feel so alone throughout this whole pregnancy and I'm terrified about the birth - not giving birth, but just being on my own, or having him there but him not giving a stuff about my comfort.
I just don't know what to do but I am so fed up of his apparent hatred and resentment towards me.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
7 months pregnant and contemplating leaving my husband...
Rvrob22 · 23/09/2016 16:54
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