Five days ago, I said something which DH took the wrong way. No attempt to try to sort things out, just sheer anger and distance. I left him to it as I am normally the one pointing out that there is no need to scalet the situation over something minor. The distance continued even though he was still doing the normal, attentive stuff that he does. Friday evening, hell broke lose when he got ready to sleep on the sofa. I couldn't face it going on like that, I felt rejected, unfairly treated and that I deserved more than a weekend of misery. So I got angry, took my wedding ring off and threw it at him whilst telling him to 'stick it'. What I was really saying was "you can't possibly value our marriage to let this happen". And it's happened too many times, he cares more about winning than about us being happy. Things got out of hand, I called the police but he set off before they arrived. He called me countless times when he was on the road, and messaged me to ask why I had called the police. I only replied once to say that I had nothing to say to him, or nothing that he would care to take on board.
Since then, he's messaged me twice saying he loves his wife and why wasn't I answering his messages.
Various reasons: 1. what happened was serious, 2. I don't feel he ever takes what he keeps putting us through seriously, 3. he ran away like a coward, 4. he hasn't had the balls to do what a genuinely, caring and locking person would do - sit down and talk. Please remember that this is my point of view.
Today, not a word from him. He got home a little while ago, barely spoke to me and went to the gym as normal.
All these emotional roller coaster rides... We keep coming back to the same place, time and time again.
For the record: he's got money worries at the moment, there have been some problems at work and his youngest DS had a minor operation a few days ago (he didn't go to the hospital on the day and he's been criticised for it - not sure to what extent; I personally think he should have gone, even if it entailed a 6 hrs round trip). I suspect that he was at the ex's house this weekend.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
How to interpret and deal with DH's behaviour
CostaRicanBananas · 31/01/2016 18:27
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