Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

How would you feel is your BF's response was 'we'll see'

(77 Posts)
Tearsoffrustration Wed 09-Dec-15 17:58:51

If you text them to say you were looking forward to having sex (not on so many words) the next time you see them

Basically he's in a huff because I'm out Friday night and Saturday night and won't see him until Sunday

2rebecca Wed 09-Dec-15 18:02:18

"If you aren't bothered then perhaps things aren't working between us"
I can't be bothered with sulky crap. If a bloke isn't bothered about having sex with me then at the boyfriend stage i'd rather find someone who is bothered and loves me enough not to play silly power games.
I have a low tolerance of this sort of stuff.

DoreenLethal Wed 09-Dec-15 18:03:15

Ditto.

Missyaggravation Wed 09-Dec-15 18:04:04

Sounds like a passive aggressive arse

Isetan Wed 09-Dec-15 18:07:34

Always meet sulking with indifference, if he's going to play games I'd make alternate plans.

sadwidow28 Wed 09-Dec-15 18:07:53

Don't ever demand or expect sex.

He has the right to refuse it as much as you have. He has the right to want it as much as you do. You each have the right to say NO even at the planning stage.

Basically he's in a huff because I'm out Friday night and Saturday night and won't see him until Sunday

You simply cannot buy appeasement within a relationship without giving part of your soul if it is dependent on having sex (not making love) just to 'make up' for a perceived wrong.

Do you want to say any more?

MissApple Wed 09-Dec-15 18:15:03

Jesus what a tosser! Dump im before you have to buy a christmas pressie!

GreenTomatoJam Wed 09-Dec-15 18:19:36

sad, I don't think op is expecting or demanding sex, but is looking forward to it hopefully.

If her BF isn't looking forward to it hopefully, then that's fine in the grand scheme, but perhaps not a good sign for the long-term viability of their relationship - especially if it's just because she's not prioritising him and he's miffed about it.

steakpunararemediumwelldone Wed 09-Dec-15 18:36:21

Sad I believe the question was 'how would you feel', not 'how quick can you pile on a judgement'

OP this is just sulky behaviour. Ignore do not engage and enjoy your night out! I would feel annoyed but defiant in having fun.

ChippyOikInTinsel Wed 09-Dec-15 18:43:38

Oh boy, he has you begging him to allow you to have sex him! He might allow it. He's pulling your strings. You're not obliged to see him. Glad your senses are telling you there's something not right. If you've bought him a present, take it back, and treat yourself wine

patterkiller Wed 09-Dec-15 18:53:08

Relationship transfer day is the 16th. Dump him anytime after that is seen as poor form.

PushingThru Wed 09-Dec-15 18:58:14

She could've just said she was looking forward to sex because she was, you know, looking forward to sex after not seeing her bf for two nights. Women aren't asexual manipulators, dishing out physical favours in return for money, babies & cuddles. Sheesh.

sinber Wed 09-Dec-15 19:04:56

Did you say it to stop him sulking?

Duckdeamon Wed 09-Dec-15 19:10:39

He gave a passive agressive response 'cos you're out two nights in a row, in December? confused

RudeElf Wed 09-Dec-15 19:13:10

It's not the response thats the problem, its the context- he's huffing, because you went out hmm i have very low tolerance for that shite so he'd be dumped.

VelvetSpoon Wed 09-Dec-15 19:15:25

He's got every right not to want to have sex.

I have to say if my bf was going out for two nights, then planning to come and see me on the third, and sent me a message saying 'looking forward to seeing you Sunday wink wink' or however nicely it was put, I'd feel a bit hmm about it, like I was some sort of booty call, and probably would respond similarly.

RudeElf Wed 09-Dec-15 19:16:52

Relationship transfer day is the 16th. Dump him anytime after that is seen as poor form.

^ignore that. You can dump anyone any day of the year. Xmas day if it appropriate.

Duckdeamon Wed 09-Dec-15 19:18:48

your definition of "booty call" is a bit different from the norm velvetspoon!

RudeElf Wed 09-Dec-15 19:19:03

I have to say if my bf was going out for two nights, then planning to come and see me on the third, and sent me a message saying 'looking forward to seeing you Sunday wink wink' or however nicely it was put, I'd feel a bit about it, like I was some sort of booty call, and probably would respond similarly.

Would it be different i they werent going out on the friday and saturday night and just had plans to see you on sunday?

PushingThru Wed 09-Dec-15 19:19:30

Oh for goodness' sake, it's December & the run up to Christmas, there's lots of social stuff going on. I think the guilt tripping is horrible. What if you just wanted a night in with bath, book & bed? Does he not have his own stuff going on too?

AuntieStella Wed 09-Dec-15 19:19:41

Not sure if this is a good idea, but my first thought was a reply along the lines of: "Oh, has something else nice come up for you to do? Let me know if so, because then I can tell (insert friend's name) I'll be free after all. Or did you mean something else?"

Gives him a chance to explain, if he was aiming to be tantalising but got it wrong. And shows him that you have things to do other than him if he's going to sulk.

IrishDad79 Wed 09-Dec-15 19:26:52

Well said velvet spoon, double standards at play. Op wants sex on tap when she's done partying. Man with same attitude would be slaughtered here.

RudeElf Wed 09-Dec-15 19:30:25

Where does it say OP wants sex on tap? confused

RudeElf Wed 09-Dec-15 19:31:38

Or that she is partying?

Does 'out' mean partying? (And if it does why is that even a problem?)

AuntieStella Wed 09-Dec-15 19:31:47

In the opening post, TearsOfFrustration you said he was sulking, and I took you at your word (on the grounds that you know him and his reactions) which is why I advised as I did.

But is there any possibility that he is being short for some other reason?

Though even if he felt as if your message came across as a booty call, he does need to explain that properly. You need to talk to him.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now