How do I make Him love me again?

[Kellyxxxx14]

Basically overheard oh convo to his sister and he said "I just don't love Kelly anymore"
I'm heartbroken we have a 6 month old girl.
He is still here.
He must still love me a little bit or he would of left by now.
Do I try harder? Cook a nice meal?buy him a present?
What did I do wrong?

[bodenbiscuit]

I'm sorry :( that is very sad - poor you. I really don't think you can make someone love you though. Sometimes people just fall out of love. Just remember that you deserve to be loved though xxx

[Kellyxxxx14]

I love him so much.
He is my world and I would do anything for him.
We argue but doesn't everybody.
He has drank loads lately.
I mean he has always liked a drink.
I don't know what's wrong with him.

[DextersMistress]

You didn't necessarily do anything wrong sweetheart but you can't make someone love you.

You need to talk to your partner, maybe you misunderstood their conversation.

[Every1KnowsJeffTheJerkOlantern]

I'm so sorry you had to hear that op I know its awful and feels like the qorld is ending.

The truth is, you probably did nothing wrong. Its more than likely him and not you. I'm prepared to bet that its happened since your dd came along and is because all your attention is focused on her and not him.

You cant make him love you. Hes a coward, thats why he hasnt gone.

[CocktailQueen]

I'm really sorry - that's a horrible thing to hear.

I'm not sure you can make someone love thou, though, if they don't. Sorry. Are you going to talk to him about what you heard?

[CocktailQueen]

you, not thou!

[magoria]

You didn't do anything wrong.

You can't make him love you.

Meals & presents won't make him love you.

You deserve better.

Look into separating amicably. It will hurt like he'll but you will start to heal quicker than if you stay put until he leaves you.

It may be the wake up call he needs.

[Kellyxxxx14]

I'm shitting myself to ask him incase he tells me he doesn't love me anymore.
Basically he said he didn't love me anymore and he was unhappy.
I try my best,cook his tea,do his washing.
I'm scared.really scared.
I couldn't cope on my own.

[Kellyxxxx14]

No I can't talk to him about it.
I'm scared incase I open a huge can of worms.
I thought baby would bring us closer.
He loves her so much.
I don't know why I can't make him happy.

[Every1KnowsJeffTheJerkOlantern]

Op, you sound totally reliant on this man who isnt treating you very nicely. Please dont feel like that lovely. You can and will cope alone if you have to.

You need to speak to him. You cant be in a relationship like this. Its no relationship at all.

[Cabrinha]

You don't make someone happy by making yourself a doormat.
Cook his tea and do his washing?
I mean those things are fine in a happy partnership, but they're not love.

It's scary that you might split up, but not as scary as staying with someone who doesn't love you.

Take control.

Not: he'll leave because he doesn't love me
But: I will leave because I expect to be loved

Organise a quiet time. Tell him what you heard. Tell him you're not willing to stay with someone who doesn't love you, so is that something he's certain about, or is he interested in working on it with a counsellor? If he won't, bin him. Don't sell yourself short.

There are men out there who'll love you for who you are, not for the domestic services you can provide.

[Kellyxxxx14]

He has just bought us a new sofa and a new tv so surely he plans to make us his priority and try and love me again.
How pathetic do I sound.
He has turned me insane I think.

[Kellyxxxx14]

I haven't slept in days
Don't think I'm thinking straight.

[ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight]

Yes you can cope on your own
No babies don't bring couples closer
Stop skivvying for him - he doesn't deserve you
If he doesn't love you then burying your headin the sand won't change it
Sorry :(

[Kellyxxxx14]

He told me he didn't love me about 2 years ago and we broke up.
This time I thought he realised he missed me and stupidly thought he had changed his ways.

[Kellyxxxx14]

Just left the plates on the sink.
Oh don't worry il do them ...again!

[PrancingQueen]

You do sound very dependent on him OP - believe me, staying with someone who you know doesn't love you will destroy you.

You need to talk to him and tell him what you overheard.

I'm a lone parent - have been since I was pregnant. It's not easy, but it's a damn site better than trying to 'make' someone love you - it just doesn't work like that!

[PrancingQueen]

My mum always says 'if you make yourself a doormat people will wipe their feet on you'

Don't be a doormat.

[CiderwithBuda]

You are worth more than this.

Would you want this for your DD when she is older?

Do you want to spend your time tip-toeing around wondering if he loves you? Afraid to put a foot out of line? Afraid to say the wrong thing?

You deserve to be happy and with someone who loves you.

HE also deserves to be happy. I'm sorry that it doesn't seem that he is happy with you.

You can manage alone. You might not want to and it won't be easy esp at first but you will manage.

[Kellyxxxx14]

I'm sat here wondering when he decided he didn't love me anymore.
Was it just overnight.
Saturday he went to watch the footy and was meant to meet us on the way home.
He went to the pub then went to stay at his dads house.
Didn't come back till the Sunday.

[Kellyxxxx14]

I don't think he is happy with me :-(
I don't want him to be with me out of duty because of emma.
I still feel so hormonal and snappy too.
I'm breastfeeding and it's still quite sore,I feel useless.

[TheMarxistMinx]

Having a baby can put a tremendous amount of strain on even the very best of relationships.
Some people can have a way of expressing themselves and their unhappiness in very black and white terms, because they lack words to express their emotions and feelings.
Perhaps he is like this.
For people like this, they can say they love one day and not the next.
It may be a temporary blip and it may well pass.
Or it might not.

Maybe think about the ways in which your life and relationship has changed since you had your DD. I would ponder my own happiness and think of ways to make myself happy. Maybe start to look at future plans, whether to return to work, how to sort out baby sitting so you and he could have a night out, or return to study, or start to see friends. I might also think about the feeding issue and whether I might like to consider bottle feeding so that I could have time away from baby and have some "me time" I would also talk to my GP about possible PND.

What I would not do is say I overheard his conversation with his sister. I wouldn't blame myself, and I wouldn't tip toe about trying to win him over, or to wait on him. I would though talk to him generally about how he feels about the changes in your life, about how he sees the future, and ask him if he is happy.

[goddessofsmallthings]

We argue but doesn't everybody.

What do you argue about?

You said you split up 2 years ago after he told you he didn't love you. When did you get back together and was your dc planned and wanted by him as much as you wanted her in the hope that it would bring you 'closer'?

[Kellyxxxx14]

He split up with me and started seeing this other woman for 9 months.
Then after we got back together.
She wasn't planned no.
After she was born we got a house together(rented) as we used to live with parents beforehand.
Now that she is here tho he is totally besotted with her.