Sorry this might be long, I am very confused and have nobody to talk to so I need to just get it all out.
At the weekend DP went out with his friends for "just a few drinks" I had to stay in with the baby as we couldn't get a baby sitter. I woke up in the night and he wasn't home, this was about 4am. I sent him a txt saying I was worried and could he tell me where he was/ when he would be home. I wasn't too worried as sometimes our friends stay at eachothers houses after a night out (we are the only ones with kids so everyone elses houses are a little more relaxed). Anyway baby wakes up at 6 (normal time) and dp still isn't home. not wanting to upset the baby I stayed calm made breakfast and tried calling dp 3 times. I also sent a txt. As I pressed "send" a taxi pulled up and dp got out clearly still drunk. I saw him stand outside on our drive playing on his phone, I assumed reading my txt.
When he came in he seemed really surprised that we were all up. I thought this was odd as he must have seen my calls and txts and baby always gets up at the same time. I asked him where he was and he said he had fallen asleep when with his friends and was very annoyed that none of them had woken him up. But when I questioned hi again his story changed and he said that he didn't go to sleep at all, and went to another friends house. I told him I was annoyed with him for staying out all night and sent him to bed.
I was pretty suspicious so I looked at his phone (I know I shouldn't have) and his call history was open. I saw he called the taxi company only 15 mins before he got home. The place he said he slept is a 30 min drive away so that had to be a lie. I had to find out more so I looked at his messages there was two to a girl from his work that he had sent moments before getting in the door (must have been what he was doing when I saw him outside) they read something like "I'm really sorry, I need to take some time to think." and "I can't jeopardise the relationship I have with the mother of my child. I'm sorry".
Of course I was livid. so I called her, she ended up telling me that dp had come back to her house and tried to kiss her. but that was it.
I don't know what to do. I have confronted him. He admitted it and apologised and since then he has been very helpful with the baby and the house and seems to really be sorry. But I don't know if I can trust him again. This was the last thing I thought would happen when I saw he wasn't home. I trusted him so much I just assumed it would be something else. If he hadn't tripped up in his lie I would never have known. I have been open with him about my feelings and told him that I am looking for flats for me and the baby and I wold like him to think about how much he would be willing to contribute to the baby, both financially and in contact time. He cries and says he is sorry, he wasn't thinking etc etc. I don't think that's good enough. I think if he cared about us he would have thought about what this would do to us before going to another girls house. This is not the man I fell in love with.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I don't know what to do. my opinion of "d"p has totally changed.
charleyturtle · 26/03/2014 21:19
I don't necessarily think that more happened but something different possibly did. If he tried to kiss her, he wouldn't then text saying He doesnt want to jeopardise relationship with you. Could she have tried to kiss him? Seems strange that he'd not say that tho if he's been blamed for making the first move.
It's a very hard situation for you! If you want to repair the relationship, it can be done. If you want to move on, you can! You have a lot of options. You just have to decide 
Yes scorned, the fact it was the whole night would worry me. 
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.