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Awful Date - Was I Right To Walk Out?

(84 Posts)
Zilvernblue Mon 18-Feb-13 15:59:49

Online dating. Arranged to meet for a coffee. I got there a few minutes early, so just got my coffee and went and sat at a table to wait. I got a text from him saying he would be a couple of minutes late. 30 minutes later, no sign of him. I then got a text from him asking "You still coming?". I replied that I'd been there half an hour already, had had my coffee and was thinking of going home. He replied "Where are you?" and I replied that I was sitting at a corner table facing the entrance. 5 minutes later, still no sign of him, so I got up and started to make my way out. I get quite nervous meeting new people and this just threw me, as I thought he'd stood me up.

I bumped into him on the way out and it was a bit awkward, he started saying he had waited by the entrance doors to catch me on my way in. I said I didn't have that much time now, but we could maybe get a quick coffee. I must have pissed him off by sounding a bit reluctant/uncertain, because he started umming and ahhing when I said this, so I just walked off.

No text from him to apologise or explain, nothing. Was I being a bit impatient or would others have done the same? I did have to be somewhere afterwards.

And that is meant to change my opinion?

ProphetOfDoom Mon 18-Feb-13 17:54:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nandocushion Mon 18-Feb-13 18:03:57

Loser in every way. You are well rid.

ApplyYourself Mon 18-Feb-13 18:15:57

You sound like the rude one to me.

Why didn't you drop him a text to say you were sat inside? He obviously assumed that you'd meet him outside

BerylStreep Mon 18-Feb-13 18:25:38

Sorry, but you do sound like hard work.

you're not soul mates...

AmberLeaf Mon 18-Feb-13 18:46:29

Cant believe you are getting stick from some replies here OP.

He was late and unapologetic. That is enough to say thanks but no thanks.

Don't give him another thought.

HorseDNAinJellyAndIcecream Mon 18-Feb-13 18:51:06

Even AFTER you told him by text you were inside, he still didn't materialise. You on'y bumped into him when you decided to leave. So I wonder what he was doing for those five minutes!?

flippinada Mon 18-Feb-13 18:57:22

I really can't fathom why the rude responses on here OP. Don't take them to heart. Finding someone unattractive is not a crime.

In response to your question, you were not unreasonable to walk out.

AmberLeaf Mon 18-Feb-13 18:57:42

Applyyourself OP said in her first post she said in a text she was sat inside.

izzyizin Mon 18-Feb-13 19:02:34

I got there a few minutes early, so just got my coffee and went and sat at a table to wait. I got a text from him saying he would be a couple of minutes late.

It would seem it wasn't until the OP got a text from him half an hour later asking whether she was still intending to turn up that she let him know that she was inside, AL.

donnasummer Mon 18-Feb-13 19:04:05

you did the right thing
and anyone taking exception to the word ugly, an online search on provincial over 40 males looking to date will convince you it's actually a compliment

flippinada Mon 18-Feb-13 19:11:55

Reading back I suspect some people have taken high exception to a) the OP daring to describe herself as attractive (we all know women must be self deprecating at all times) and b) finding her date not very attractive, which is hardly crime of the century.

This sort of thing happens all the time and I'm not sure why it's deserving of OP having her posts being pulled to pieces.

carlywurly Mon 18-Feb-13 19:17:14

Because its rude, unfair and frankly shallow to think someone is less worthy of dating because of their looks.

It's a really horrible way to judge people and it makes me sad how acceptable it seems to be on here sometimes.

Manners, attitude,fair enough. They can be changed. Looks can't.

No, I took exception to the OP saying the man was ugly and lucky to have got a date with her.

The saying beauty is only skin deep seems apt.

deedotty Mon 18-Feb-13 19:25:27

YANBU.

As you noted early on when you were texting, he seemed a bit off then, as if not really picking up appropriate social cues, not making you comfortable.

I reckon in online dating (hell make that LIFE grin) this is a good skill to have? Trust your instincts, don't stifle them.

You don't need to be too rigid and expect it to look a certain way or for his first message to be an invitation to a Michelin starred restaurant, but look for the tone not the text. If you're feeling hmmmmmmmmmmmm then often it's for a reason! Suspect even if this meet had gone through Ok he'd have been a bit weird further down the line.

For the record, I think for EVERYONE the online dating experience throws up some weirdos and slightly uncomfortable encounters on the way to the good ones, it's not just you. Just keep on moving, keep learning, and don't take the weird ones personally smile

KobayashiMaru Mon 18-Feb-13 19:28:59

He thought you'd stand outside for well over half an hour? And some posters here think you should have done?

hmm WTF?

BelindaCarlisle Mon 18-Feb-13 19:30:55

he saw you and was heading away ( fool!) when you rumbled him

that is why he asked where you were

flippinada Mon 18-Feb-13 19:36:53

Oh yes, I see what you mean.

What a complete cow the OP is, not wanting to go on a date with someone who is rude and unattractive.

Not to worry, I'm sure this fabulous dude will have a horde of grateful women just queuing up for a date.

In fact, I bet hat's why he was late, he was beating off all his admirers with a shitty stick!

AmberLeaf Mon 18-Feb-13 19:48:38

Having seen his pics on the dating site, if the OP was that shallow she wouldn't have arranged to meet him would she.

He mucked her around and she is venting, give her a break.

The man was socially inept. The OP comes across as rude and shallow. "Lucky to get a date with me" my arse.

I wonder if this new poster is really Samantha Brick.

flippinada Mon 18-Feb-13 19:55:36

No, she doesn't - you don't sound particularly pleasant yourself, however.

The man appears to have arrived a few minutes late, having let the OP know, and waited for her outside. She does not appear to have replied to this initial text at all, most people would have said something like "that's OK, I'm sitting inside, see you when you get here".

Classic case of two sides to very story. I bet his version would be different but no less accurate.

hmm

AmberLeaf Mon 18-Feb-13 20:00:07

A few minutes late?

I must be reading a different OP

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