Do your children have to apologise to the whole class for being late?

[flightoftheeasterbunyip]

Ds told me this last night...if they are late they get an 'L' on the register, until they have publicly apologised to the entire class, after which they get a tick and all is forgotten.

I was appalled - considering it's usually the parents' fault, or nobody's fault, and I understand it's to create a sense of social responsibility but FFS they are FIVE.

Sorry am very angry about this. Yet another thing to 'have a word' about...

[littlesilversnowbeetle]

that sucks

[pginthecloset]

I've never heard of this. It's a bit OTT and another thing to make children stressed about.

[flightoftheeasterbunyip]

Glad you agree - crap isn't it?

Exactly Pg. Ds has been terrified for weeks about being late. He had nightmares during the holidays and kept asking me if I was sure we had the right dates.

I mean honestly.

[ellingwoman]

If they're late, they're late. The 'L' shouldn't be tampered with.

The only thing about being late is that the whole class is disrupted while the child gets sorted BUT not the child's fault so speak to the parent.

Also - get it from the teacher if this actually happens before you go storming in....

[MrsWeasley]

Absolutely crap, At my DCs schools up to year 5 it isnt commented on.
Year 6 get a gentle reminder that they need to take responsibility for themselves and make an extra effort but that to prepare them for senior school. But this would never be said to an indivdual more as a group or part of a PSHE lesson.

[flightoftheeasterbunyip]

Good point ellingwoman

Ho yes that's happened before

I suspect the apologising thing is true, but the L probably stays as that's a bit odd isn't it.

A friend of mine is seriously late every day (depression) and her children get shouted at apparently and told off, after what ds told me I don't doubt it. The thing is they've no control and it makes them feel as though they're being punished, even if it isn't intended that way.

[stealthsquiggle]

'L' on register is a record-keeping requirement, I would have thought.

Public apology seems very OTT at an age where clearly it is parents who are responsible for what time they get there. I do wish DS's school would do something though as there are 2 children in his class who are consistently 30-40 minutes late.

[OrmIrian]

It is disruptive and disrespectful to the class and the teacher. But the odd occasion is acceptable IMO. And when it comes to constant lateness the parent needs tackling, not the child.

By Yr 6 I think it's reasonable - by that age children should be taking responsibility for themselves a great deal more, in preparation for secondary school

[flightoftheeasterbunyip]

Yes but Orm it's not their fault, they've nothing to apologise for iyswim?

We've been late about three times since he started there, mainly because of me being too sleep deprived to function - and even then we were only ten minutes, the worst of those times. So he missed the register and nothing else. It's traumatised him

[flightoftheeasterbunyip]

I agree year 6 a bit different.

[OrmIrian]

I agree with you that it isn't acceptable for little ones. Poor lad

[ingles2]

I've no idea what happens at our school as the boys have never been late.
But I agree asking any infant school child to apologise for lateness is ridiculous.. really crap.

[flightoftheeasterbunyip]

well done Ingles!!

I hate lateness. All out three times were in the week before the end of term and we had massive roadworks outside which meant huge traffic holdups, inability to get the car out at all at times, and babykins was up most of the night teething. I struggled...

[bamboostalks]

Most school are asked by the dcfs to have a zero tolerance policy towards lateness. The schools are set very high attendance and punctuality targets and I'm afraid 3 lates a year per child would seriously miss these targets. L in the register is law and there is no leeway on that.

[Simplysally]

Sounds a bit OTT to me - my dd's school has a Late Register as you have to enter via the office after 9am but the children don't have to apologise to the whole class or probably even the teacher. It's down to the parents to get them to school on time (up to say yr 5 or 6) so it's penalising the wrong person. The % of late attendances go in the termly reports for each child.

[flightoftheeasterbunyip]

I understand that Bamboo, and make every effort to make sure it isn't a regular thing.

But I think they are punishing the wrong people here. I'd not mind if they had a word with me - or made me apologise to the class.

But they're taking it out on my child, which doesn't seem fair.

[ouchitreallyhurts]

That's so harsh! we have a late book and the children are scared silly of "having to sign it". the head made a bit of a thing in assembly once and the children are petrified!
its nearly impossible to park near our school (very rural so every one seems to drive ) so often we are penalised because some mums prefer to stand and gossip rather than drop and go and no-one else can park...sorry, off topic there...I think being made to publically apologise is humiliating and very very wrong.

[flightoftheeasterbunyip]

Well I've rung school to make an appt to see teacher - I doubt I'll get her to change policy on this, but it's worth a mention if indeed it's the case that this happens.

I also need to speak to her about his being made to stay in to complete work (he's v slow) so will take up both issues.

Thanks for all the support.

[ingles2]

Thinking about this more though, ds2 would be mortified if that ever happened to him.
I mean seriously humiliated and upset.
I would definitely be asking their thinking behind it. And whether it actually works on those who are habitually late. (I doubt it very much)

[flightoftheeasterbunyip]

You deserve the !

Yes, I think asking what it's for is a good one. I was unsure how to broach it really without sounding critical.

I agree it probably has no effect on the often-late ones. In fact I know it doesn't because my friend is still late every day...how could her children do anything about that - her elder one is very conscientious and worries about it. I feel sorry for her as well because it's something she can't seem to help, and it means she has to worry that her kids are getting laid into as well. (she said this to me)

[Aimsmum]

Message withdrawn

[OrmIrian]

"because it's something she can't seem to help"

Well much as I sympathise with you, this sounds a bit of a cop out in behalf of your friend If she isn't making real attempt to change things and it's upsetting her eldest DC, I think she needs to sort herself out.

[Juxal]

I wish they did that at dd's school. It really doesn't seem to matter if they are late; it doesn't even get marked down unless the registers have been taken to the office, and they have to be very, very late for that.

As a result, dd is incredibly slow in the mornings, which is exacerbated by dh who is always late anyway. I have often wished over the years that the school did do something definite about lateness, as then dd will hurry dh up, and dh will feel bad if he makes dd late etc.

[flightoftheeasterbunyip]

Hmm Juxal not certain I agree with you - i think you ought to be making extra time, honestly - if she is always slow, I'd have assumed it was your responsibility to allow for that or find a way to hurry her up really - although I can certainly relate to wanting someone else to reprehend (? is that the right word) I mean tell off your child, if she is being deliberately slow and won't listen to you.

I suppose it might have an effect in that case.

But I don't think the teachers would see it that way - I think they are just trying to get it through to the kids that they have a social responsibility to their classmates, to show up on time...and how would the teacher know whether it was the child being deliberately slow, or the parent not getting their act together?

It's all a bit dubious really.

Orm - I agree, and she is trying her hardest as far as I can see to sort herself out. I don't know her very well yet and she is a lovely lady, she holds it together very well in most ways and you wouldn't guess she was depressed. I think this is one area where she has a 'block' much as I do about eating healthily, or such.

I presume the school is aware of it as it is so regular.

It's not very good for the children but then we all fail our children in some ways I'm sure - I definitely do so I'm not going to judge. I don't think it's Ok though.