I'd like to join NCT antenatal classes - but I'd also like a caesarian. Will I be a pariah?

[piggysgal]

Hi there

Kind of an odd question, I know. I am pregnant with no. 1 after many years of trying. I would really love to join the NCT in my area, primarily because of the potential friends I might make - I don't know anyone IRL in the same position nearby or otherwise, and it would be fantastic to pal up with other mums-to-be and get a support system going. But the problem is that for various reasons I want a caesarian section rather than a natural birth. I know the NCT are very big on natural birth, and have read that in some groups c sections are deemed almost the work of the devil. Would I quickly become an outcast?

I'd really appreciate any advice you can give me.

Thanks

Kate

[TheBlonde]

I think you would be fine
Lots of people have C sections for various reasons

NCT are big on informed choice imho

[alex8]

most of my nct group had c-sections (for breech and other medical reasons rahter than purely their own wishes) and my teacher had one (and 2 natural births).

The only problem with it is that 80% of the course was about active/natural childbirth so it would be a bit of waste of time. The rest was about babies and breastfeeding. You are probably better off saving your money and going to a post natal nct class or another sort of post natal class or nct coffee mornings.

[lulumama]

just wondering why you want a c.s? you might find that doing the course puts some fear and anxiety to rest and helps you make a choice, which might be to have the c.s or to try a vaginal delivery

NCT are pro vaginal birth , but they should give you all the info you need to make an informed choice

might be worth you doing some reading and research yourself, to learn a bit more about the birth process before you become set on one idea of birth?

congratulations on your pregnancy !

[lulumama]

definitely worth joining for the social network alone !

[danceswithaSPRINGinherstep]

Classic NCT quote from class I used to go to from the teacher 'now I want you all to come back to the reunion, everyone will be welcome even if you're bottle feeding'

[bundle]

I went to ante natal classes (non-NCT) and the teacher had had every type of birth going, so covered everything.

I would think very carefully about having a c/s unless there are medical reasons not to, as with all surgical procedures there are risks involved which I wouldn't have wanted to have taken unless I'd absolutely needed them with my 2 births.

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

danceswithaSPRINGinherstep Freudian slip or what?

[lulumama]

probably not a slip!!

and agree with bundle...i have had one c.s and one vaginal birth and would go for vaginal every time ......c.s is major abdominal surgery coupled with looking after a new born...it has positves sure, but negatives also...

[Rhubarb]

Depends why piggysgal. If you said you wanted a C section and wouldn't say why then they might be iffy with you.

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

I don't see why you should share personal reasons for a CS with a bunch of strangers (as the teacher and the others attending will be, at least to start with) and why the info can't just be presented in an unbiased way.

[WelshBoris]

None of their business Rhubarb

[Rhubarb]

Because usually at these things all the women are very open with each other, bonds are formed as they are all going through the same thing. If she says she is going to have a C Section and that's that, not even saying why, then yes I can see that she might have a hard time and find it difficult to bond with the others.

As it is they will be discussing vaginal birth, what can go wrong etc and she may feel a little left out.

[zippitippitoes]

I think it would be a bit strange as you would be doing a load of stuff related to the birth which you knew you wouldn't be using and people would be curious and questioning if you said..and if you didn't you would feel odd especially as these would be the future friends

you can join the nct for social reasons though and not go to classes or go to bumps and babes or whatever

[Rhubarb]

No, not their business, but it's difficult to fit into the group if you hold things back.

I would be honest with them and you'll find them sympathetic. But you may feel a bit left out if no-one else is planning a C Section.

[bundle]

I think some ante natal groups have a pre-assumed philosophy (read: slightly lentil-weaving) and stating you're having a c/s might not be received that well. Asking what a c/s entails might get a better reception. We used lego people to mimic the setup in theatre...and 3/8 of us had c/s.

[zippitippitoes]

the class might feel awkward...the teacher would either be ignoring your different needs or saying eg sophie I'm afraid this won't be something you really need but do join in with us

gosh I'd be a rubbish nct teacher

[Rhubarb]

Which is why I think she should tell them what the problem is. Then they can relate to it at least!

[kayzr]

It'll probably depend on the teacher. Mine told us epidurals are for wimps. A friend of mine got worried as she wants one spoke to her MW who told her that the teacher had epidurals with both of her kids

[ProfYaffle]

I did an NCT antenatal class and ended up with em c/s which was my worst nightmare at the time. Found the c/s was tons better than I expected and, with hindsight, felt my negative expectations were a result of the an class. c/s was always presented as utter catastrophe and tragic for woman concerned, at the re-union I felt I had to justify the c/s and why I didn't fight harder for a vaginal delivery (but that could be my personal paranoia)

However, the social side of NCT was invaluable in the first year, and the friendships made at the an class were closer than those made at coffee mornings later. (although even those didn't last past the lifting of the post natal fog!)

[lulumama]

well, if you are at antenatal classes,and you say you wish to have an elective section, the next question will be 'why?'. NICE guidelines do say that maternal request alone is not enough of an indicator for c.s, and it is reasonable to ask why....IMO

if a woman has fears and anxieties about birth, a good antenatal teacher can help her overcome those and help make an informed choice ..

[pooka]

While 2 out of the 6 of us in the ante-natal group ended up having c-sections, they weren't planned. A lot of the emphasis is upon techniques for vaginal delivery.

But a friend from the group knew that she'd be unable to breast feed and decided not to come the the breastfeeding class because she felt she didn't want it to be rubbed in IYSWIM (she desperately wanted to b/feed but was advised not to).

[pulapula]

Have you discussed having a c-section with your midwife or consultant, or are you considering going private? It's just that until you have it confirmed that you are having a section, then you might find it useful to attend the classes, as they do discuss all birth plan options, so you can then make an informed choice.

If you know you are definitely having a section, then there may be a lot of parts of the course which aren't relevant so you may get bored, or wonder why you are there. For example we spent a lot of time on the stages of labour, breathing, pain relief, assisted deliveries (ventouse, forceps etc) although we did cover c-sections a bit.

In my NCT class, we discussed our birth plans and I don't think it would have been an issue if someone said they were planning a section. We spent a lot of time on other things, like looking after the baby afterwards.

Hope this helps.

[jdd0709]

If you are definitely hving a planned c section a lot of the information in the class will be irrelevent to you. If you are just interested in the social networking side - which is the really useful bit that extends way beyond the birth then you could just join the NCT post-natal support group which starts a few weeks after the birth and not bother with the antenatal classes.

There was one girl at my NCT classes, who I still stay in touch with now (she was in the post-natal group too) who was having a planned C section for what I thought was the most ridiculous of reasons and I have to be honest, I did think she was a bit neurotic as a result, but she wasn't exlcuded in any way and as I say, she is still part of the group today.

If you do want to go to the classes and are still worried why not say you are having a planned c section because the baby is breech? Noone will question that. Or just don't say at all. 4 out of the 6 couples at my classes ended up with ceserians anyway (including the one planned one).

To be fair, our teacher was quite realistic about the possibility of a ceserian and we did do an excercise showing what it would be like in the operating theatre etc.

[CristinaTheAstonishing]

Jdd - I'm very curious to hear the ridiculous reason for the CS and surprised that the professionals involved in her care didn't find it ridiculous too and she had the CS as planned.

I take the point that sharing reasons for a CS is conducive to the feeling of understanding each other and friendship but I'd find it awkward, I think, especially if it was something really personal or emotional. I'd wonder also if the teacher or other people there could really take the responsibility to change your mind - when they aren't specifically trained for this. That's why I maintain an unbiased presentation of information is the best way. But then I haven't been to such classes. Post-natal coffee groups were good.

[funnypeculiar]

First things first, the support network of antenatal classes is fab. Not all branches do post-natal courses, but of course that's another option, as is just going along to coffee mornings/NCT social stuff & making friends there. But antenatal classes are really powerful - you share so much in that 'help, what are we doing' phase.

As lots of people have said, the classes will focus on vaginal birth although they will cover C-section. Are you 100% sure of your decision? Would you like to have more info on other options/are you prepared to hear about the negatives of c-section? How awkward would you feel in a situation where you where challenged/questionned about your reasons. Think these are all worth thinking about. Different teachers use diff approaches ito how they run classes (ime, few will challenge your specific choices -afterall, NCT very actively promotes greater materal choice) but they will all believe that, ideally, CS rates should be lower. That's not to say they will challenge your reasons, but it is the general stance. You need to be prepared for that.

However, as many people have said, you don't HAVE to be honest! One of the girls in my class knew she was going to have a c-section (for medical reasons). We all met up the day before & she didn't say anything - only told us afterwards.
OTOH, we also had one person who was 100% sure she wouldn't b/f (again, not an common choice when attending NCT classes!) She stood up for herself, had definite reasons (emotional, not practical) and I don't think anyone bothered her. She came along to the b/f class (which she could easily have skipped) & asked some controversial (& very very good) questions. If you can go the later route, imho that's better.

Afterwards, no-one will give two hoots- you'll all be too busy worrying about your babies! Before hand, tbh, there may be some judgement - either by the class (most people who attend the classes are leaning towards natural birth in intention at least) or potentially the teacher. BUT I really really do NOT think that any of it would ever be enough to make you feel an outcast - you might just have a few moments of feeling slightly awkward. And tbh, the rest of the class may not even notice as they'll be too busy worrying about their own issues!