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When is it ok to ask for a seat on a train for daily commute?

(65 Posts)
rosiepuppy Fri 21-Feb-14 08:29:14

I am only 5 weeks in but already feeling the affects of morning sickness and tiredness. My train journey to work in London takes 45 minutes, I'm obviously not showing or anything yet so feel awkward asking for someone's seat... so this morning I sat on the floor!! what would you do?

Ragwort Fri 21-Feb-14 08:32:18

I would ask someone, did no one notice you were sitting on the floor and offer you a seat? How sad.

Jemma2907 Fri 21-Feb-14 08:36:09

Why not get one of those 'Baby on Board' badges. People will probably give up a seat for you anyway then. I'm doing a hour commute into London but luckily I'm at the beginning of the line so haven't needed to get a badge yet (I'm 12 weeks at the mo). If I wasn't getting a seat though, i'd probably do it earlier. I've chosen to get bus rather than tube for the end of my journey too as a lot more relaxing than being wedged up against doors and getting knocked about.

Jemma2907 Fri 21-Feb-14 08:36:14

Why not get one of those 'Baby on Board' badges. People will probably give up a seat for you anyway then. I'm doing a hour commute into London but luckily I'm at the beginning of the line so haven't needed to get a badge yet (I'm 12 weeks at the mo). If I wasn't getting a seat though, i'd probably do it earlier. I've chosen to get bus rather than tube for the end of my journey too as a lot more relaxing than being wedged up against doors and getting knocked about.

midnight1983 Fri 21-Feb-14 08:52:23

If you're feeling ill now, it's OK to ask now. I have been through this on the train and bus and its not good ti risk yourself fainting. My advice is ask a woman in her 30s or 40s or an older man - even though I am 9 days away from due date they are the only people who offer me seats, even now! Good luck and congratulations smile

nugget05 Fri 21-Feb-14 08:53:42

I have a baby on board badge and it rarely works, I just get rage when people see it and pretend they didn't. Im 28 weeks and a little bit noticeable now. Just ask and if people refuse threaten to throw up on them or pull the emergency cord, they'll soon move smile

midnight1983 Fri 21-Feb-14 08:56:12

I agree baby on board badges rarely work - people do not look up form phones or books and so never see it...

SirChenjin Fri 21-Feb-14 08:56:29

Not at 5 weeks - sorry (and I speak as someone who suffered from hyperemesis throughout 3 pregnancies). I think late pregnancy ie 7/8 months, when you really are exhausted - is the time when you might have more success.

DitaVonCreamTeas Fri 21-Feb-14 08:59:13

I'd always ask. People are usually wrapped up in their own little worlds on public transport so you need to make the effort to ask. Pick someone who looks friendly, I bet they'll be fine about it.

I wasn't showing at all, but I was having awful morning sickness and feeling faint, and I had to give a tour of our new workspace to some visiting dignitaries. Half way through I thought 'wow, I'm going to pass out', my only option was to tell them I was pregnant and felt awful; they were lovely, helped me to a seat and one of them got me a glass of water. It made them feel like they'd done a good thing, and I didn't upchuck in front of the stakeholders.

Much better to speak up than faint or vom on someone.

HectorVector Fri 21-Feb-14 09:00:42

I never asked for a seat but I was mostly offered one. At 5 weeks unless you're wearing a baby on board badge people aren't going to know. Go to any underground station and ask for one (I'm not sure you can get them at rail stations).

I know you're feeling nauseous but you are not pregnant enough in order for your pregnancy to require you a seat. So if you're nauseous there's nothing wrong with sitting on the floor with a bottle of water. But if you're wearing a badge I think you'll be surprised how often people offer you there seat. Also if you're a season ticket holder you may be able to get a pass to sit in first class when the trains are busy, ask at your train station.

DorotheaHomeAlone Fri 21-Feb-14 09:04:38

I commute in on the tube and have a badge (I'm nearly 18 weeks but not at all big yet). The badge doesn't prompt people to spontaneously leap out of their seats so I just ask the person in the priority seat politely 'Excuse me, would you mind if I sit down?'. They look at the badge and get straight up. never had anyone refuse. Then I thank them nicely as if they'd actually offered.

CrispyFB Fri 21-Feb-14 09:10:28

If I was feeling like serious crap, pregnant or not, I'd ask for a seat and have done on occasion. There shouldn't/isn't an official time limit on it - it all depends on how desperate physically you are to sit on a proper seat.

If you're able to sit on the floor quite happily and are only asking due to feeling entitled to a seat due to pregnancy then that's very different to feeling horrific and needing a proper seat. Only you know which it is! smile

For instance I would ask if I felt faint and exhausted or likely to hurl because due to issues with my pelvis/back I can't physically sit on a floor pregnant or not due to extreme pain. But if I could happily sit on the floor I probably would unless whatever was causing me to be ill meant it made things much worse (e.g. not being able to see out a window from the floor might make the nausea worse) than a regular seat. If you see what I mean.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!!

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Fri 21-Feb-14 09:16:22

My train line gives a pass to people if all the standard class seats are full to sit in first. You have to take in some form if proof though - have you had your booking in with the midwife yet?

I'd say "I'm feeling really sick, would you mind if I sat there?"

akachan Fri 21-Feb-14 09:24:27

I wouldn't worry about how far gone you are, you don't need to tell people you're pregnant. Just say you're feeling unwell.

HelenHen Fri 21-Feb-14 09:28:43

Agree that it doesn't matter if you're pregnant or not, don't even mention it. Just say 'excuse me, I'm not feeling well, would you mind if I sit down'. There were plenty of schoolkids on my commute and they were always the best at offering seats! Many of them feel they have to give it up just cos you're older anyway smile

alemci Fri 21-Feb-14 09:32:40

yes so difficult.

I remember when I was pregnant and didn't show, an older woman asked for my seat and I had to say no as I was pregnant and felt really sick.

the badges sound a good idea. Hope you don't have to sit on the floor again.

MissSlackPants84 Fri 21-Feb-14 09:43:56

I just ask now. Some rude boy was lay over numerpus seats on the bus last week. I asked him to move, got some verbal, explained I'm pregnant, saw him recoil intp his shell pretty quick haha.

juneau Fri 21-Feb-14 09:44:33

I'd get a badge, if it was me. It's annoying that the trimester that many women feel the worst - the first - is the one when no one can see you're pregnant. I'd give up my seat if someone asked, but I found when I was pregnant that men almost never gave up their seats, neither did young women - and that was when I had a big, obvious bump. People are increasingly self-centred, I think.

TwoThreeFourSix Fri 21-Feb-14 09:51:57

I ask when I need it.

So the days I was v sick I asked, but when I felt ok I didnt. Now I have a big bump again I ask the days I need it (if in pain/sick/exhausted). The other days I try to get a seat (choosing my timings) but its not a disaster if I dont get one.

Forago Fri 21-Feb-14 09:56:37

Yes get a badge, people always give up their seats if they're sure someone is pregnant, often don't ask if bit sure as worried about offending (I've done this, is mortifying)

Just say you feel unwell and sick, there's no need really to say its cause you're pregnant

I find it sad that people need to wear a baby on board badge rather than people communicating

When I was pregnant I was so angry and hormonal at the time no one would want to sit near me ! I had no trouble telling people I felt sick or faint but I am a very confident person and appreciate not everyone is the same

eurochick Fri 21-Feb-14 10:06:37

I have felt too embarrassed to ask when I have been feeling crap in the first tri and have just muddled through. Someone did offer me a seat once at about 8 weeks. I think I looked pale and shattered.

I am now 13 weeks and have a BoB badge (you can request them by email). I've worn it once but felt like a twat so haven't again. I don't feel like I need a seat on most journeys, but I would like people to stop crushing me when I'm standing/oofing me in the belly and boobs with rucksacks, etc.

bebopanddoowop Fri 21-Feb-14 10:06:51

I do feel for you, at the beginning (and actually for the first...28WEEKS) I was very sick. It's especially hard early on cos the only sign of pregnancy that shows is your green face and for the first 12 wks I didn't want to wear the baby on board badge cos I hadn't told anyone and would be scared if see someone I knew!
Now at 32 weeks and my sickness has finally pretty much gone I don't feel like I need a seat as much even though I'm massive now so get offered one.
I don't actually have any advice just wanted to show some sympathy!

weebigmamma Fri 21-Feb-14 11:03:02

I think it's totally fine to ask if you're feeling like crap, whether you're pregnant or not. Just thinking how I'd react if a stranger asked this of me and of course I'd give them my seat if I didn't need it myself. I think we can expect humans to be nice and if they're not then they have a problem.

SaucyJack Fri 21-Feb-14 11:36:29

I think it's fine to ask as soon as you need it.

At 5 weeks I could barely stand without throwing up.

39 weeks now and I've been up ladders this morning, re-decorating the lounge.

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