Mumsnet Talk

Welcome to those with a March 2010.
Happy Easter from me....
Unwrap it quick!..

Oh, it's a new thread. I was hoping for chocolate.

Love the title

Did you almost put "Climbing like evil geniuses" but weren't sure if it should be "genii"??

I need to stop this multiple posting thing. Must try to think of everything before posting the first time.

ahhh MissPent you know me too well!

Thanks for new thread RKD! I, for one, am resolutely avoiding the Shred DVD but I have been recommending it to friends...so doing my bit to spread the shred

Happy birthday to Shroomer's LO!

Well done to PD - hope you enjoy the well-deserved

Having a bit of a rollercoaster here. Was back at work Monday, and was fine except busy and knackering. Had forgotten how tiring the first trimester is. DS then got sick Mon night, so DH stayed home with him Tue. Luckily, he was back to himself quite fast so he's at nursery today. Then last night I started spotting. And it got heavier overnight. Cue much tears and panic. So I had to call in sick to work (to my shame I used DS as an excuse but I'm so not ready to tell work I'm pregnant). I was convinced I was miscarrying. My lovely GP referred me to the EPU (via a telephone consultation, so didn't even have to go into the surgery) and a scan this afternoon showed a bean with a good, strong heartbeat [relief]. But I have to go back to be re-scanned next week to make sure it's growing OK. Meanwhile the unexplained bleeding is still going on and is quite stressful .

Tomorrow we have the private scan we booked weeks ago. I'm not cancelling, as I want another chance to see the baby. Then I have my booking in app with the midwife tomorrow evening (which seems comedy early as I'm just coming up to 7 weeks).

Now I just wish this bleeding would stop and time would magically fly by until I'm at 12 weeks!

Ah. The thread name is fantastic. Well done, Head Girl

I'm pretty sure I mentioned I was going for a gender scan at 16+1, which was last night.

THis is the hardest thing I've ever had to type and a huge part of me doesn't want to burden you wonderful women with it but it seems so difficult to say anything in real life that this seems an outlet for...everything.

The baby had died about 2 and a half weeks ago. Right around the time when I posted that I'd gotten a really high temperature and then a few days later how much better I felt in general; how the ms suddenly lifted even though it had seemed worse immediately before. It's so horrible to look back and see, with hindsight, what that meant. But in some ways, comforting. Like, I have something to pin it on, because I keep thinking why? You just can't ever prepare for that kind of thing, I guess, but after a great 12 week scan, the golden 12 weeks passed.... this isn't supposed to happen is it? I mean, I know it does. Life is cruel and why NOT me? As I was laying on the couch in the room looking at it curled tightly into a ball, I felt incredibly... stoic. It was ME who said the first words: There's no heartbeat, is there? This happens, I thought. THis happens to lots of babies.

I think because I somehow, on some level, knew. I had nightmares the WHOLE night before. Didn't have that for my 12 week/7 week or any other scan I've ever had.

Oh. But when I got home, it hit me; harder than I ever imagined possible.

I have an appointment at the EPU 11.15am tomorrow to basically confirm it and discuss my options. Which I assume are going to be somewhat complicated by the fact I'm still full-on breastfeeding James - he literally doesnt take a bottle/cup/beaker and as he still wakes at LEAST 4 times a night (needing his booby to get back to sleep) I don't know how I can leave him if I need to be in overnight. I thought I had another six months to get his sleeping improved/drinkng from something other than me. How could I have been so complacent?

And... why is my body holding on to the baby? In some ways thank GOODNESS it is, because as of last night I'm TERRIFIED of it starting naturally. I can not, can NOT pass my baby down the toilet, or hold it in my hand or bleed heavily all over the place, in agony because my pain killer options are so limited given I'm breastfeeding (I'm assuming). REally, really NOT saying an earlier loss is any easier emotionally, but the baby is about four and a half inches, and won't be the 'heavy period' a much earlier loss is apparently like.

I'm so sorry to do this to you all and should probably post in prenancy loss (probably still will as I'm scared beyond everything and they'll at least be able to tell me what to expect at hospital tomorrow) but wanted to be among friends, as it were. Which you all are.

X-post with flip - was typing for some time.

I'm really, really sorry my bad news will probably worry you too. But, you know, early spotting IS very common and usually turns out to be ok. Hang in there.

Oh Manda how utterly heartbreaking for you and your DP . I was thinking of you last night, wondering when your scan was. I can't believe you've had such horrible news.

Wrong as it sounds I'll keep my fingers crossed that things don't start naturally for you. I would also want it to be medically managed as far as possible. I totally understand how worried you must be (am also still breastfeeding) but try not to worry about J - he will be fine. Just try to focus on yourself, and your own needs.

Massive massive (((hugs))) for you.

Oh Manda I'm so, so sorry. Big hugs from me. Please don't apologise for posting here, we're here for the bad as well as the good. Be kind to yourself, and I hope tomorrow isn't too awful x

Flip I'm sorry you've had such a stressful few days and I hope everything sorts itself out. Lots of women have bleeding in early pregnancy, for lots of different reasons. Fingers crossed it stops though, it must be such a worry.

Manda There are no words. I'm just so so sorry.

And Flip Sorry I missed yours. How scary for you too..... Good grief life gives you a kick sometimes. Hope your OHs are being super strong for you both.

Manda, I couldn't read and run after seeing your post. I'm so sorry. It's horribly unfair. And I absolutely agree with MissPenteuth: of course you must post here: whenever you want and about whatever you want. Look after yourself.

Flip, I can only imagine how scary the bleeding is. But I hope the scan and the heartbeat and the forthcoming private scan make the worry easier to bear.

This having children thing just isn't easy at any stage, is it!

Manda I'm so so sorry. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow, and saying a wee prayer. Don't worry about James - I'm absolutely sure he'll be fine wherever you are. Sheesh, I can't imagine how you're feeling...I'm just so sad for your loss.

Flip thinking of you too - try not to stress, just look after yourself. Good luck with your forthcoming scans xx

Manda How terribly sad We have been here for the good times, and we are here for the bad times too. I'm so sorry my love

Flip Hoping that all goes well for you, my fingers are crossed

Oh ladies big unmumsnetty hugs required <squashes manda and flip closely to ample chest>
manda I'm gutted for you. This whole 12 week scan and being 'safe' is just so misleading. I'm so sorry that you are in this sad situation. I'm sure you will find some useful support and information in the pregnancy loss section but you know you can always lean on us too. I'm glad you felt able to share with us and unburden a little bit. James will be fine without you. He is a big boy now and although loves and needs his mummy a lot if you have to be away overnight then he will cope. He will take water or something from his daddy surely? and then catch up when he sees you again. Pacific will give you more clarification on pain relief I'm sure, but after a c-section they give you pretty heavy duty pain killers and I BF after both of my sections so please don't let that worry you.
I have no idea why your body has been hanging on to the baby and I hope you can be medically managed with the least amount of discomfort and stress possible. I'm so sad for you.
flip I have everything tightly crossed for you. Bleeding is so unsettling but the strong heartbeat is a real positive and I know that the waiting game is just torture.
waves to the rest of the gang and hopes there is no more bad news - Rinders is in my thoughts daily.
<on a lighter note I failed to get the basics in so no bread or milk for MILs visit - bottom of the good wife/mummy class for smac - duly hangs head in shame >
heckle - good luck for interview - I have no idea about smart clothes but MissP's advice re baby sick, snot etc was very valid!

Heckle, why don't you make an appointment with a personal shopper at John Lewis, Debenhams, HofF or similar? Lots of advice and new ideas - and no obligation to buy. Plus if you give them a budget they'll stick to it.

Oh manda i am so so sorry to hear your news, i really hope your ok and the rest of the family too x

Flip, hope your ok x and the spotting stops as soon as poss x

Hugs to both of you x

RKD fab thread title, very apt!

oh yes with all the news I forgot to say thank you to arcadie

Manda- really sorry to hear your news. Please don't worry about James or the pain. They can give you plenty and James will manage with his daddy. Boys are resilient when needs be. Hope you get some rest and love. Thankyou for feeling that you can share here. We hope it offers you a small shred of support xxxxx

Oh manda I can't begin to think how you must feel, I feel so sad for you. Let us know how you got on today, we want to know, like you said, we are friends - good and bad times x

Manda, I'm so sorry. There aren't any words that will make a difference so I can only offer a hug.

Flip, fingers crossed.

Thanks for the new thread, Arcadie - what a sad start though .

manda thinking of you today (((hugs)))

Thanks for everyone's good wishes - still bleeding, red blood, including some clots , so just waiting for today's scan. Don't think I mentioned yesterday but the baby was small for dates (though I'm not 100% sure of my dates) and she kept talking about threatened miscarriage. She was very nice and gentle though.

Manda I'm so sorry. Don't really know what to say. Hugs
Please keep posting. We are all here for you.

Flip it must have been scary. Keep us posted
x

ooof ladies I'm sure smacs bosomly hug was enough for you but I also want to pull you both in for a big elky cuddle...am so sorry manda, as rkd says, words are just not enough (and she's a linguist so she knows ). please keep posting and please keep talking.
fiip equally in my thoughts - I hope that the next couple of days turn into weeks before you know it and all will be well. There are so many different stories about bleeding and it works out sometimes good, sometimes bad. I have a friend currently still heavily bleeding at 26 week and has been since christmas. but baby is, amazingly, ok. lord knows. keep us posted on the scan.
Both of you in my thoughts, ladies, be kind to yourselves.

<dashes out>
<dashes back in. wanders nonchalantly past RKD and a gold star for Thread Efforts. and a shiny red apple>