Salams Tiptops and Elusive.
Thanks tiptops for your comments about my names. I wont show DH but it has bolstered my confidence that my names are better. No news yet Elusive but if nothing happens soon my much desired vbac is going to go down the drain as I have already got my csection booked for next week.
With regards to the question on suicide Tiptops I dont think its offensive. Its quite a good question really. Unlike the bible and torah (from what I have read) the Quran clearly forbides suicide and declares it a major sin.
“...And do not throw (yourselves) with your own hands to destruction; but work (deeds of) excellence for verily Allah loves the people of excellence.” [Surah Baqarah 2:195]*
In another verse,
"And do not kill yourselves (nor kill one another). Surely Allah is Most Merciful to you." [Surah Nisa 4:29]
So one reason why it is forbidden is that from the Islamic viewpoint it is seen as being quite a destructive, negative action and instead we are advised in Islam to do good actions which are positive. 'Even if your life is difficult an extra day alive is that much longer to work good deeds to distance oneself from the eternal torment of Hell-fire and a golden opportunity to win a better place in Paradise. A Believer capitalizes on each breath God allows him...God says (translated it means),
“And whoever does good equal to the weight of an atom (or a small ant) will see it (on the Day of Resurrection to be rewarded) and whoever does mischief equal to the weight of an atom shall see it.” [Holy Quran: Chapter 99: Verses 7-8]
Suicide is also equated with unjustly taking a life even if it is your own life. In fact the taking of even one life unjustly is regarded as the taking of the life of the whole of mankind:
“Whoever kills a soul – unless for another soul or for corruption (vice and mischief spread) in the land – it is as if he had slain the whole of mankind. And whoever saves one – it is as if he had saved the whole of mankind.” [Holy Quran: Chapter 5: Verse 32]
About this verse I found this in an article relating it to suicide 'The noun, soul (nafs) in the verse is without the definite particle. In Arabic, an indefinite noun in a conditional clause gives the meaning of generality and comprehensiveness. Thus, the verse is not only concerning the taking of a soul of another person but even ones own life for both are souls created and entrusted to us by Allah. This is not only prohibited but strongly condemned as though you killed the whole of mankind'.
The bodies that we have do not really belong to us and are a trust from God. Not taking care of your body correctly is seen as committing an injustice against yourself and taking care of the body you have been entrusted with is seen as a good action.
Another reason why suicide is prohibited in Islam is that God is seen as the Giver of Life and death.
"It is He who gives life and causes death and to Him you shall be returned." [Surah Yunus 10:56]
'The time of our life's ending is determined by God and it's not up to us to end it. Doing so would be like saying to Allah, "I refuse this gift of Yours, and I deny Your right of giving and taking life." A person who commits suicide claims for himself one of the rights of Allah, which is the ending of life.
That's why Allah says in a Hadith Qudsi, speaking of the one who commits suicide:
“My servant has precipitated My will with regard to himself! Therefore, I am forbidding him entry into heaven.”'
'Also how do you know that your life won't turn for the better and everything will become alright? The night doesn't last forever and eventually gives way to daylight. Allah says:'
“ Verily, along with every hardship is relief, Verily, along with hardship is relief” (Holy Quran: Chapter 94; verse 5-6)
Also:
"And whosoever is conscious of Allah, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty). And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allah has sent a measure for all things." [Holy Quran: Chapter 65; verses 2-3]
And
"So lose not heart nor fall in to despair, and you will be superior if you are [true] believers." [Holy Quran: Chapter 3; verse 139]
I think when you commit suicide its almost as if you do not trust or believe that God can change your situation which demonstrates a lack of faith. You have lost hope in the mercy of God. Just because you are suffering today doesnt mean you will suffer forever.
The Quran advises us to do the following when facing trials that cause us suffering:
"O you who believe! Seek help through patience and the prayer. Indeed, Allah (is) with the patient ones." [Holy Quran: Chapter 2; verse 153]
So instead of longing for death we should be patient and pray to God for help when we are suffering. In fact, the one suffering hardship may actually be more beloved to God than one who is being left and not punished despite sins and impiety.
The Prophet informed us in a hadith, “Nothing strikes a believer – no fatigue, illness, worry, grief, hurt nor sorrow; not even a prick of a thorn – except that Allah wipes off due to it some of his sins.” [Collected in Sahih of Bukhari & Muslim]
I saw the following dua that you can make if these thoughts do cross a person's mind:
“O Allah! Keep me alive as long as living is better for me, and when death is better for me according to Your Knowledge, take me unto You.”
However you cant say definitively that someone will go to hell for committing suicide. I also found this whilst doing some reading around this topic.
'One thing we shouldnt do is say a person will definitely go to heaven or to hell...There are certain verses of the Qur’an and statements by the Prophet (peace be upon him) which tell us that those who perpetrate certain sins will be punished. But then it is up to God to determine what punishment fits every single case, because God judges us individually, on the basis of His perfect knowledge of our intentions and conditions.
It is true that suicide is strictly forbidden, because it is an affront to God. But this applies to a person in full control of his faculties...if such a person commits suicide, then may be God will not allow him in heaven...A person who commits suicide as a result of a mental disorder like depression or some other severe form of anxiety is not in full control of his senses. We cannot say how God will judge such a person, but we trust to God’s justice, because He does not deal unfairly with anyone. We pray for the person concerned, and request God to forgive him. When a man committed suicide during the Prophet’s lifetime, the Prophet was distressed. He did not perform the funeral prayer for the deceased, but he ordered his companions to do it. When they did, they prayed for the man and requested God’s forgiveness for him. This shows that the Prophet did not exclude the possibility of his being forgiven by God. We also know from the following verse in the Quran that God forgives all sins except shirk^.
“Verily Allah does not forgive that you set up partners with Him but He forgives anything else for whoever He wishes.” [Holy Quran Chapter 4: Verse 48]
Most of what I have written above is the 'islamic opinions' offered which I found whilst reading around the topic but my own thoughts on the idea would be quite similar to Elusive's. Who decides what sort of suffering and pain warrants suicide? Human beings are fragile and any number of tragedies from isolation, substance misuse, loss of family or friends, relationship break-ups, financial problems, sickness and disability could lead to someone resorting to taking their own life. Many of these are temporary afflictions (I know a person who attempted suicide when he was made redundant but is now happy in a new job) or ones that we can come to terms with eventually (i.e. the death of a loved one is painful but with the passage of time the pain becomes more bearable). It seems a waste and a little short sighted to end your life because of a temporary affliction. Also what about those not able to take their own life or make that decision like a child, severely disabled person or extremely ill individual. Is it fair that they do not have the choice to end their lives and everyone else does? Why should a child have to live with their suffering but an adult has a way to escape? Should their relatives then be able to make that decision for them? Again that throws up a lot of other moral dilemmas. Is it being done for the benefit of the person or because they are an inconvenience on their family, the tax payer, the state etc. Will people be pressured to take their own lives if they do become a burden on others? I just feel that allowing suicide throws up a whole heap of moral dilemmas that are difficult to solve.
Also like Elusive said you need to think about the impact on those close to that person. 'Few events in life have the same impact on us as the suicide of a friend or a loved one. The loss of a loved one, from any cause, brings out intense grief and mourning. The response and emotions felt by the bereaved following suicide are very different to those felt after other types of deaths. The fact that a loved one's death appears to involve an element of choice, raise painful questions which deaths from natural or accidental causes do not. Bereavement by suicide is usually prolonged. The grief is characterised by agonising, questioning and the search for some explanation as to why the death of his loved one has happened. Bereavement in this way often encompasses strong feelings of abandonment and rejection'. The person committing suicide may be seeking to escape their pain and suffering but then they are causing extreme pain and suffering in others.
I hope that makes sense.