Just taken baby out of nursery

[riab]

Just wanted to share my experiuences - and have a bit of a rant!

Have had to take my little boy (6mnths old) our of his nursery after a couple of weeks of really bad management.

He's had problem with tummy bugs and reflux over the past 6 weeks - I always kept him off until it cleared up and then I went in and made sure i explained his new feeding needs - ie he had to have soya milk (an intolerence it turned out) and he was losing interest after being so ill before so could they please feed him regularly and keep trying. I also said he needed to have at least 10oz split between 2 feeds during the 5 hrs he was there - preferably more!

This is a copy of the letter I sent to them I'd appreciate any comments on whether i should give them another chance - I've completly lost all trust in them as this wasn't a one off but consistant over at least 2 weeks despite clear instructions by me and his dad.


I would like to raise some concerns I have had recently about Sasha's care
whilst at nursery.

I have attempted to discuss these concerns with nursery staff as has my
husband but this has not resolved the issues.

The staff in general are positive and friendly, they have remembered Sasha's name quickly and I have been happy with the security arrangements and the facilities offered at the nursery.

However there are two very important areas relating to Sasha's individual
care which have been causing me concern for some weeks, in the past four
weeks there has been a marked decline in the levels of care in all of these
areas.

Sleep - despite discussion regarding sleep patterns to be 1 hr between 3 and

4pm this has never been stuck to, neither has sleeping room been used
instead he has been allowed to fall asleep when exhausted or bored in his
seat.

Feeding
Marked decline in amount he takes at nursery - has returned home screaming
with hunger on several occasions. This is an area of great concern, he is
generally a quiet and happy baby and I am concerned that unless he screams
for food whilst at nursery he is not being fed.
Despite discussions regarding need for him to be offered milk frequently due

to reflux, need for him to be fed whilst held not fed whilst strapped into
baby seat etc instructions not followed.

Feeding times not kept to - i.e. milk at 2pm, in diary it says milk at
2.20pm - is this because he was offered it at 2pm and refused it, or because

he was asleep or because no-one was available to give milk?

Burping not carried out effectively resulting in pain and reflux

Diary not kept up to date - there has been conflict between the verbal
report when picked up and what is written down. On several occasions the
last hour has not been recorded so I have no knowledge of whether he has
been fed/changed/slept since 4pm.

Concern about staffing levels, although usually 3 staff in baby room
frequently there are visitors, kitchen jobs etc also being seen to which
reduces staff to one or two people for up to 9 children.

Small babies area is used as storage for prams, despite unsuitability of
many activities for a non crawling baby he is kept in large room with much
older children - several are walking and seem much older than 1yr old. This
is an especially concern towards the end of the day, older children are
often brought down into the baby room and whilst he is trying to feed it
becomes a very noisy and chaotic atmosphere.

In general it seems that the staff are not adequately experienced/trained in

the care of small babies. The needs of a baby at pre-crawling & pre-weaning
stages are very different to those of an older infant or toddler.

I would like to resolve these issues as swiftly as possible however I will
not be bringing him into nursery until I feel more confident that his
requirements are being met.

[auntymandy]

This is private nurseries for you!

[auntymandy]

Sorry that was not helpful, but it is my bug bare. Nurseries stick to their time table not yours or babies. Sad but true.

[Donbean]

Oh riab, what an absolute nightmare for you, i feel so sorry for you.
I would have taken the very same steps that you have taken TBH.
You must have been tearing you hair out with frustration and anxiety every time you dropped baby off and picked him up. Guilt levels increasing by 10000% with all of this i bet.

[merglemergle]

riab, sounds like you've had a horrible experience. Second auntymandy tbh but with a caveat-some non-private nurseies are fab! after lousy, very similar experience with a well reputed nursey (Acorns in Cardiff) got him into one run for govt employees-they also had a few private places.

Also consider reporting to OFSTED? (is that nursey regulator)

I'd get him out if you possibly can. The situation prob won't improve. we made complaint after complaint to Acorns. Makes no difference.

Also think Jigsaw chain employs very highly trained staff. They did kill a baby through negligence re diet though .

[princesspeahead]

nurseries aren't the place for small babies IMO. find yourself a lovely childminder who will look after him properly at her home, if you can't afford a nanny.

[auntymandy]

The only way you can be 100% certain your baby is being cared for to your instruction is t care for him yourself! Again not very helpful, but true..I think!

[nzshar]

riab I'm with lockets and others sounds like that maybe your ds AND you would be a lot happier with him in either a childminding situation or one to one care.

Having worked in nurseries for 13 years until i had my ds and specialising in under 3's sometimes the expectations of parents and the service provided just are not compatable.....eg bottle not given at 2pm sharp.....maybe another child was crying and in need and the nursery workers felt 20 mins wouldnt be too bad..... Also the reflux issue....having had a reflux bub myself i know how time consuming winding time can be sometimes and again nurseries are a GROUP care situation and the workers have to take all the other children into account. Not getting at anyone here just looking at it from the other side IYSWIM

[alibubbles]

Message withdrawn

[adiemus]

Hi. I'm new and haven't posted before but had to respond to this post. I am a nursery nurse and ran a baby room in a private day nursery for three years. We were registered for 5 babies aged 3m to 2yrs with myself and a nursey assistant. I found that 5 babies was a managable number and each child recieved the attention and care they needed.

I tried to make the baby room as much like home as possible.I would encourage parents to write down their childs routine and would assure them we would follow it as closley as the nursery environment allowed us to, BUT I would emphasize the fact that yes your child's needs are extremly important to us but we have to consider ALL the babies' needs.

It is impossible for a nursery to follow exclusively, each baby's exact routine and I'm sure parents respect this.But things like bottle and sleep times should be kept to as close as you possibly can. I also understand that for a parent,your baby is the most important person in your entire life, and you want everything to be perfect for them, but if you choose nursery care for your child, you have to have realistic expectations.

It does sound to me that the nursery in the post that began this thread doesn't seem to have grasped the seriousness of reflux which is not acceptable. No child should be going home screaming with hunger either.

So what am I saying, you may well ask? Well basicly, that a decent baby room should acknowlage, respect and follow parents wishes wherever they possibly can and be honest and open about anything that they are finding hard to accomodate. parents should be upfont about their expectations so the nursery knows where it stands from day 1. (it sounds like the parents in question did this very plainly in this case)

communication is VITAL between parents and child care providers!

Sorry, don't I go on.

[riab]

We had already planned for a nanny at least p/t when i went back to work. He was going to nursery 3 afternoons from 1.30-5.30pm while I finished off my degree.

I do want him to have one to one care for the majority of the time but had hoped that 2 or 3 afternoons of nursery would give him a more social side of things too. We find it difficult to get to mums and tots groups due to our routine/lack of car and timings of the groups so this was my solution to me needing time to study and wanting him to meet other children.

It hasn't worked out - I've had a reply from the nursery saying they are concerned etc but also saying 'we didn't know anything about this' which worries me as surely the manager and the carer in charge of the baby room ought to know about the babies who have any problems/special requests.

I agree that it must be hard if you have 3 babies all crying at the same time to know which to see to but it did being to seem that there were fairly consistently 3 or 4 babies just parked on a playmat or in front of the TV with no adults around at all really.

I was always a bit worried about the ratios etc but they had reassured me that small babies who weren't crawling yet got their own area, as in my letter I?ve never seen this used yet! the reason I didn't pick up on this before was that he used to get picked up at 5.30/5.45pm but then when the reflux got bad I would pick him up a bit earlier at about 5pm to get him home - this meant I saw more of what went on during the day.

sigh he seems much happier at home this week already but I have an exam next Friday and have had no time at all to revise! So stressful and this is the last thing i needed on top of the degree right now!

Thankfully I interviewed a nice girl for a nanny position today and she can start asap doing the odd afternoon so hopefully next week will be easier!

Thanks for the point about bottle feeding btw ? I can raise that with them.

[dinny]

Riab, I took my 11 month old ds out of nursery after two days as I was not happy with it at all. You've done the right thing and it'll all work out in the end. DS and DD don't go to nursery at all now _ I cut my hours and dh looks after them both plus dd goes to a lovely small playgroup 3 times a week. It's worked out so well not paying a fortune for them to be in nursery. Good luck.

[bossykate]

dinny, what happened?

[bossykate]

should i be worried?

[bossykate]

i tried cat'ing you but you have chosen not to receive cat messages.

[dinny]

just CAT'd you. my email is now co.uk, not .com.

[TheRtHonBaronessEnidOBE]

couldnt agree more with pph

[foxinsocks]

riab, is your son in a Jigsaw nursery (wasn't sure if it was mentioned)?

riab, my dd had reflux and various allergy/intolerance issues and was in a nursery from 4 months to almost a year. It was a nightmare and if I could have found alternative care I would have done. I ended up having to give up work to look after her myself after the nursery (on more than one occasion) gave her food she was allergic to. They also could not handle her reflux at all.

On retrospect, I would agree with pph. Nursery is just not the place for small babies. Especially those with something like reflux - the staff cannot handle a condition like that, it needs too much one to one attention to ensure that they get enough milk (the little and often thing) and with 1 adult to 3 babies, you cannot be sure that will happen.

I hope you manage to resolve all the issues.

[anorak]

My ds went to a childminder part time from the age of 3 months and had wonderful loving care. I never had to worry about him for a moment and would wholeheartedly recommend using a childminder for such a young child.

[bossykate]

thank you very much, dinny. i got your note and i have replied. thanks again

[Kidstrack2]

Yeah def agree not too keen on babies attending nurseries, I'm all for childminding, nanny etc although your child does receive one to one care by a childminder your baby does also get opportunities to be social as childminders are always at groups and meeting up with other childminders, thats the way it works in my area anyway!

[TheRtHonBaronessEnidOBE]

i always think its weird that people prefer nurseries

someone i know said they would find it really threatening having their baby effectively brought up by another woman in her home so prefered the facelessness of nursery

[LadyCodofCodford]

i prefer them
you dont get ill childminders then

[tissy]

me too. I just wouldn't be able to fit my annual leave around when a child-minder wanted to shut, or when she is suddenly ill. My daughter has been at nursery full-time since she was 4 months old, and i think she has turned out alright so far. Please don't let this turn into a thread bashing Mums who have no alternative.

[LadyCodofCodford]

i do have an alternative but still prefer nusery