Would I be unreasonable to set my children an exam question?

(99 Posts)

It would go something like this:

Three people live in a household. They are all over 16 years old. Two work full time, one is in full time study. All three use the bathroom. All three dislike cleaning intensely, yet the bathroom is always cleaned by Person A. Explain, using both sides of the paper, why this is fair. Show your workings out.

I am laughing so much ds1 is looking at me like I am mad.

I have a couple of these.

Ds1
When you come home after a 2 hour football training session in 30 degree heat and no one else is home do you
A- take off football kit, put it in the wash, and have a shower
B-take off football kit, leave it on the kitchen floor and walk about in your pants
Or C- phone your mum and tell her you are hot?

An extra 5 points if you answer c and can explain what you would like your mother to do about you being hot from 10 miles away

DD
You are going to a party. You need a lift home.
Do you
A-ask nicely if someone can collect you at 1am
Or B-have a 10 minute strop about "it's not my fault the party finishes late and you have to go to work the next day. Oh my god. You always have a go at me. It's not fair.

Ds1 and DD
You need new clothes for school. Your mother insists she has to go with you to make sure they fit. When walking around town do you
A- have a pleasant conversation with said parent
Or B- wear headphones and a hat, walk 5 feet in front and 5 feet behind, glued to iPod/blackberry in case someone sees you with your mum?

BackforGood Tue 25-Jun-13 18:36:52

This is just fantastic.
Thank you ladies for my dc's challenge for tonight grin

E - where Dobby hid it? grin

In our house, Horry, there is an option D - on the lawn, because the dog has stolen it and taken it out there to play with it!

Where is it?

A - Where you left it.
B - Where it lives.
C - Perfidiously hidden somewhere by your mother/wife who has nothing better to do with her time than to invent ever more cunning places to hide things.

Q - When I, your mother/wife has spent an afternoon tidying up the kitchen, putting away all the random crap you have dumped there, and cleaning the whole damn kitchen, should you:

A - Keep it clean and tidy by putting stuff away after using it, and quickly wiping up any spills/splats?

or

B - See it as a challenge and immediately start dumping more crap all over it, and spilling as much food as you possibly can all over everywhere?

Supplementary question, for the lovely people of mumsnet:

Should I go and clean/tidy the bloddy kitchen again this morning, or shall I spend my time here and on FB??? And is it OK to kill my children?

themidwife Tue 25-Jun-13 06:43:15

Cats - when outside in the garden feeling the urge to vomit do you:-

A. Crawl under a bush, dig a hole & deposit said grass induced puke into hole & cover up?

B. Enter house through the cat flap & deposit puke onto oak floor 6 inches away from cat flap?

C. Find somewhere else to live?

piprabbit Tue 25-Jun-13 01:12:44

Bugger - should have previewed my table, sorry about that.

piprabbit Tue 25-Jun-13 01:09:47

The rectangular kitchen table has 3 usable sides (the 4th side is against the wall and for the purposes of this question may not be used). There is room to place 2 chairs on each of the long sides , the 3rd side is shorter and has room for only one chair.

Mum, Dad, Daughter and Son must be seated at the table. Daughter and Son must both sit next to Mum. It is not acceptable for there to be a corner between Mum and either child. Nobody is allowed to sit on Mum's knee.

Please indicate on the diagram below, where you would place the chairs in order to prevent a tantrum from either Daughter or Son.

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Startail Tue 25-Jun-13 00:47:15

Additional paper
Socks, where should they be when not on your feet?

(On the kitchen floor, next to your shoes, is not a correct answer).

GrimmaTheNome Sun 23-Jun-13 18:12:29

Comprehension: explain the difference, if any between these two statements:
1) I can't find my car keys
2) I CBA to find my car keys so you need to stop what you're doing and find them.

cocolepew Sun 23-Jun-13 00:16:46

When 'finished' with your glass/bottle of water what should you do?

A. Leave it on the floor where the dog will knock it over and get water in the plug extension?

B. On the window sill so there are at least 3 glasses on every sill in the house. Obviously in case of alien invasion as per the film 'Signs'.

C. Under the bed.*

D. In the kitchen, beside the sink or in the recycling.

* This could tie in with a science based question about how water can grow mould.

Startail Sun 23-Jun-13 00:04:11

Shoes
Level one
Being able to find your school work shoes and basic health and safety, Why shoes must not be left in the middle of the hall or stairs.

Level two
Selecting and finding appropriate footwear for the occasion and weather. (No DH sandals is not the answer if it's snowing).
Advanced HS - use of the shoe rack.

Level 3
Shoe etiquette, How to recognise your own crocs and sandals.
The merits of returning other people's crocs and sandals to the correct place if you do feel compelled to borrow.
Extended essay on why your mother might be displeased if her sandals are left under the trampoline.

HS(3) Safe storage of shoes that don't fit in the shoe rack. Draw a poster illustrating all places in your room that are better than the middle of the floor.

Level 4
Buying shoes,
Calculating how many pairs you actually need.
Calculating how much you owe DM for shoes above this figure.

HS(4) why shoes don't live in the kitchen, living-room, bathroom or downstairs loo. Cross reference with HS(3)

Level 5
Advanced students only.
Shoe cleaning.
Purchasing of laces and shoe polish.

Shoe buying for men, How to buy shoes when accompanied by DW and/or DDs

Level 6 unfortunately there are no applicants for this course.

Shoe buying for men, unaccompanied

inmyheadimthequeen Sat 22-Jun-13 23:51:37

marking my place (too tired to cut and paste after BOB parking saga tonight) grin

BackforGood Sat 22-Jun-13 23:44:16

This is BRILLIANT.
I'm SO going to print it out for my family to have a go. grin

GiraffesAndButterflies Sat 22-Jun-13 23:32:13

1. At 2.30am, when you (at 17 weeks) have been defying sleep for several hours, which of the following should be your next move?
a) go peacefully to sleep
b) coo to yourself for a while and then go peacefully to sleep
c) scream until you see a parent, at which point beam like you haven't a worry in the world

2. Estimate, using examples drawn from your previous experience, whether your parents' next move will be to:
a) laugh
b) cry
c) laugh and cry
d) turn on your musicbox and rock back and forth in the corner

MeanAndMeaslyMiddleAges Sat 22-Jun-13 22:33:09

Beyonce I feel you should get a special award for your examples - hilarious!

Thankyou for nominating and moving this thread to Classics, I am far more proud of this than I ever was of my exam results! grin

Gullygirl Thu 20-Jun-13 13:31:16

Handwriting should be practised:
A)In indellible ink on the baby's head.
B)With a fork,on the new wooden,expensive dining room table.
C)With your Mother's lipstick,all over your face.
D)In black oil paint,on the wool living room carpet.
E)None of the above.

imnotmymum Thu 20-Jun-13 13:00:18

I have copied and pasted all of the above to use tonight. I will present gradings tomorrow.
Can I add;
If 4 children pleaded for approximately 6 months for a dog who should be responsible for for walking it now it is 2;

a] Mum
b]Dad
c]Mum and Dad
d]any of the 4 children who live in the house

RebeccaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 20-Jun-13 12:52:59

You are a six year old boy, you have picked your nose and have a bogey on your finger - where should you put it?

a) On the wall next to the toilet roll
b) On the side of the bed
c) On a tissue
d) in your sister's hair

We have moved this thread to classics grin Thanks for the suggestion.

freddiefrog Thu 20-Jun-13 11:57:03

Also

Using lessons learned from this morning's running late debacle, when returning from school should you

A) remove your shoes and put them together in the shoe cupboard for ease of finding them the following morning
B) sit on the sofa, undo the straps and flick them off your feet, leaving them where they land, ie, one behind the big, heavy TV unit and one under the lamp/phone table resulting in you having to wear your trainers to school
C) remove them in the garden and leave them outside, meaning you have to wear your trainers to school as it pissed down overnight

When you have two days notice to clean your room and you are off college for 10 weeks do you:
a) Do it early because then you don't have to worry about it.
b) Do it gradually but get it done on time.
c) Leave it to the last minute and then throw a tantrum and ask for an extension.

When there is a household rule that no one eats upstairs do you:
a) Abide by the rules to keep a peaceful house knowing and understanding why the rule is in place.
b) Throw a tantrum because everyone else in the whole world does not have this rule.
c) Eat upstairs anyway, hide the evidence down the back of your bed, then throw a tantrum when you have to spend an hour scrubbing black mould off the walls where said evidence has been hidden.

You are off college for 10 weeks where you study catering. Do you:
a) Offer to cook a meal one night a week for your family.
b) Throw a tantrum when the above idea is suggested to you.
c) Throw a tantrum about the one meal a week you eat on your own as everyone is busy when all you have to do is heat a frozen meal already lovingly prepared by your mother, before you go off to work in a restaurant kitchen!

Loving this thread by the way. grin

Gullygirl Thu 20-Jun-13 11:48:07

After selecting "Horrible Histories" as your tv programme of choice, the remote control should be:

A)Shoved under the sofa.
B)Placed on the coffee table.
B)Taken for a stroll around the garden,left near the nearest tree,overnight,during a heavy rainstorm.

mamaslatts Thu 20-Jun-13 11:36:24

I am properly shaking with laughter.

Maryz my dad would also do totally random things as we had visitors coming, holidays to leave for and the like. These included but were not limited to, washing the car hubcaps (not the whole car, just the hubcaps), bleaching the sink, sorting out his tools, etc

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