The Norty Puddlehumpers present.... MUMSNET - THE MUSICAL!!!!

(1000 Posts)
EmpressOfTheSevenFlames Tue 28-Aug-12 14:26:26

Come in! Sit down! Have a wine and the show will start soon!

MardyBra Tue 28-Aug-12 14:42:01

Maybe me and Pag and the other wannabes, could be invited up to the stage like the kids at the end of the pantomime, look cute, sing a song with an annoying lyric and be presented with a bag of crap goodies sponsored by the local rag.

BrianCoxIsUpTheDuff Tue 28-Aug-12 14:42:27

It will be worth the wait fellow MNers....

SayCool is around, but she did have a poorly DD to look after so maybe not MNing as much as normal.

EmpressOfTheSevenFlames Tue 28-Aug-12 14:42:54

SayCool's DD had whooping cough, she's been a bit tied up.
<looks down line of dancers on stage>
<makes sure Pombears are ready to throw to audience members>
<starts can-can music>

Opener: WE KICK ARSE! (by Empress)

We are a nest of vipers
We eat biscuits and we swear.
We might flame your arse on AIBU
But if you need us we'll be there.

We've got our oh fuck rucksacks
We've got our MN scarves
We're not just yummy mummies....
We're MUMSNETTERS! We kick arse!

BrianCoxIsUpTheDuff Tue 28-Aug-12 14:43:22

<high kicks across stage>

Tee2072 Tue 28-Aug-12 14:43:55

And kick and turn and 1 2 3...

MardyBra Tue 28-Aug-12 14:44:43

Nice costumes, but you need to wax a little better before you do those high kicks Brian.

Pagwatch Tue 28-Aug-12 14:45:14

Oh how lovely!
<<plumps cushions>

If anyone is going on stage though it should be my DD. she is very talented and is wearing her best frock.
<elbows to the front>

EmpressOfTheSevenFlames Tue 28-Aug-12 14:45:50

<throws Pagwatch's DD a Pombear>

Pagwatch Tue 28-Aug-12 14:46:12

Will the Fat Arse Dance Troup be appearing?

BackforGood Tue 28-Aug-12 14:46:26

I'd love to be in a show, but my memory has gone completely since my first pregnancy - is it OK if I have the words in front of me while I@m on satge ?

BrianCoxIsUpTheDuff Tue 28-Aug-12 14:46:50

<smoothes down muff> blush

Pagwatch Tue 28-Aug-12 14:46:58

it's behind you!

EmpressOfTheSevenFlames Tue 28-Aug-12 14:47:57

<hurries performers off stage for quick costume change>
<throws BackForGood a copy of lyrics>

My mental 3yo and her imaginary friend Luke, the girl, would like to ride their elephant on in the finale please.

<Shimmy shimmy, waddle, jazz hands>

MardyBra Tue 28-Aug-12 14:48:18

Oh no, it isn't

Pagwatch Tue 28-Aug-12 14:49:17

booooooo...hissssss

BrianCoxIsUpTheDuff Tue 28-Aug-12 14:49:20

<throws Fruit Shoots into audience>

<ducks as they are thrown back>

MardyBra Tue 28-Aug-12 14:50:02

When's the interval? I need a weeeeeee!

<Cries>

QuenelleOJersey2012 Tue 28-Aug-12 14:50:44

<applauds wildly>

<drops Maltesers>

EmpressOfTheSevenFlames Tue 28-Aug-12 14:51:34

<snuggles State to stop crying>
Yes to elephants. Mardy, have a wee quickly now while we're changing.

MardyBra Tue 28-Aug-12 14:51:35

Er. This scene change isn't very swift.

MardyBra Tue 28-Aug-12 14:52:34

<makes everyone stand up while I get out to loo>

<does very English over-apologising thing on the way>

BrianCoxIsUpTheDuff Tue 28-Aug-12 14:52:55

ssshhh Mardy they're trying their best!

EmpressOfTheSevenFlames Tue 28-Aug-12 14:53:49

If that means you're back from the loo we'll carry on....

<returns in black lace>

Watch
TROLL BLOCK TANGO (by Tee2072)

(Unashamedly stolen from Cell Block Tango from Chicago! The musical)
If you haven't seen Chicago, this will help.

And now the 6 merry moderators of MNHQ with their rendition of The Troll Block Tango!!

All:
Troll! Sock! Petition! Attack! Spamming! Libel!
Troll! Sock! Petition! Attack! Spamming! Libel!
Troll! Sock! Petition! Attack! Spamming! Libel!

They had it coming. They had it coming, they only had themselves to blame. If you’d have been there, if you had read it, you would have done the same.

Kat:
I met this poster all over the boards. She swore she wasn’t a troll. She had the saddest story.
But it started to not add up. So I did some investigating.
Not a troll? Not a troll my ass. Not only was she a troll, but she was trolling all over the ‘net.
So that night I put my finger on the big red ban button and sent her on her way!

She had it coming. She had it coming. She only had herself to blame. If you had been there, if you had seen it, you would have done the same!

Helen:
So one day I’m sitting in front of my computer, and reports start coming in on this one poster. So I check it out and one of the other posters keeps agreeing with what the reported poster kept saying.
She was crazy! Agreeing with everything the OP said. So I knew it had to be a sock puppet.
Banned!

She had it coming. She had it coming. She only had herself to blame. If you had been there, if you had seen it, you would have done the same!

OtherHelen:
Helen and I were in the office one day, having cake and tea and a few laughs when the report alarm started blaring!
I took a look and there it was, a link to a petition.
I hit the delete button so fast, my finger was sprained!

She had it coming. She had it coming. She only had herself to blame. If you had been there, if you had seen it, you would have done the same!

Olivia:
I loved that poster, I really did. But one day, she just started attacking people left and right. I had no choice but to ban her from the site.
But some people just don’t go away…

Rowan:
This poster started showing up all over the board, posting the same link and the same information over and over.
The reports started pouring in and I had no choice but to delete her!

She had it coming. She had it coming. She only had herself to blame. If you had been there, if you had seen it, you would have done the same!

Justine
You know how some people get mentioned on Mumsnet and it just scares you to death? SWMNBN was one of those.
We thought we had it covered, and everyone knew she was not a person to be named.
But there she was…named.
I had to ban the poster. What choice did I have?

She had it coming. She had it coming. She only had herself to blame. If you had been there, if you had seen it, you would have done the same!

All:
They had it comin'
they had it comin'
They had it comin' all along
'Cause if they used us and they abused us
How could they tell us that we were wrong?
She had it coming,
she had it coming
she only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there,
if you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same

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