Anyone with Algerian husband?

(120 Posts)
doublemuvver Sat 05-Mar-11 12:17:45

Curious to know of others married to Algerians and what, if any, cultural differences/issues you have experienced. We've been married 6 years and have 2 kids (twins). Life is a bit of a rollercoaster sometimes.

Layla11 Fri 17-Jun-16 19:13:10

Hello/Salam alikoum
Thought I would share a positive experience as I have seen many negatives on here unfortunately 🙁
I have been with my husband for 10 years. We have 4 children together.
He had lived here for 5 years prior to my meeting him, which may have helped in his attitude.
I have converted to Islam by my own choosing, following a profound experience.
I have been to Algeria 8 times so far. We stay near Algiers so there is plenty to do.
We go out with the children almost every day to the market/for ice cream/ride horses/zoo/feed the monkeys...everything.
My husband does not go out without me unless he is going to the mosque/dr/dentist.
My MIL is very friendly and accommodating. We only speak a few words of each others languages, but we can communicate the important things.
I have met a few other English women who are married to Algerians whose husbands go out a lot, or holiday separately but we never have. The only nights we have spent apart were when I've been in hospital after the children's births.
He works hard, pays most of the bills and buys me nice gifts.
He even cooks and helps with the house work.
I guess I am lucky al hamdulillah

LaTempete Sat 11-Jun-16 07:15:47

Congrats comingfoccacia. I too never converted as I said from day one if he becomes a catholic I will convert to Islam. I also never fasted as he never does lent lol.
I describe myself as a lapsed Catholic I rarely attend mass and he is I guess a lapsed Muslim as fasting and mosque is not his thing. He was a chef for many years which made it harder.
As for communicating it is as much a men are from Mars thing most men retreat to their cave during arguments or difficult times. Re childcare I used to remind him that he is not babysitting his son just being his dad. He was always up for taking him out to the park but sitting at home with or without child was always torture for DH. We are planning retirement now and a home in the sun. I know he needs walking distance from a cafe or he will get stir crazy lol

Comingfoccacia Fri 10-Jun-16 19:40:16

Salaam all. I'm married to an Algerian for almost 12 years. We have b/g twins aged 8. I actually started the thread but have name changed since smile
We've had many highs and lows, things seem to be on a high at the moment, even in Ramadan! However we do not communicate very well and he's not great about putting his hand in his pocket to support us or helping out with childcare......
But kids love DZ, they are going for 4 weeks in summer. I have been many times but can't handle the heat of summer. I feel privileged to go to DZ as it's not easy to get a visa if you're not married to an Algerian. Fascinating culture and history. Love the talk of chorba and borek, very Ramadan!
I have not converted nor do I fast. Kids are being brought up as Muslim.
Would be good to keep this thread going. Saha!!

iniquity Sun 05-Jun-16 15:51:42

Hi Algerian, wives and girlfriends.. Need to think of a nick name for us, maybe AWGs ?
Anyway thanks for posting la tempete .. Nice to see a long marriage on here.
Beemybaby we will be cooking harira boreks salad and a meat dish and a nice French style dessert. My dh likes lots of little dishes that fill the table.. I always have my work cut out.
Who is fastingthis year? Reinfenty will this be your first Muslim ramadam?

LaTempete Mon 30-May-16 13:38:23

Rienfenty. It was hard at first hence his nickname for me. But storms are few and far between now😉

Rienfenty Mon 30-May-16 11:47:35

LaTempete that is such a lovely thing to see that you have been married for so long with an Algerian.

Beemybaby I am so nervous about what I'm going to cook
But what about kefta? My husband says chorba frik, dates and milk for morning and for the meal make a big salad with a meat meal and as for empty carbs try cooking with lentils or something starchy x

LaTempete Mon 30-May-16 11:02:16

Beemybaby this recioe might work for you. www.food.com/recipe/shorba-baidha-algerian-chicken-soup-387504

LaTempete Mon 30-May-16 10:16:42

Just wanted to say that I met my DH in 1979 and married him in 1981. I understand the insecurities and frustration of newly weds. I have been through them as a twenty year old when I married. We are still together through all the ups and downs and I have no regrets. All marriages require compromise and adjusting to each other culture and religious differences add an extra layer to this. I have visited Algeria over 20 times and love it. There is so much to see and it is only in the last decade that I have been able to explore other towns. I have my own circle of friends in Algeria and my husband is happy for me to visit them whenever we are able to. I would like to apply for an Algerian passport as the visa application process is expensive and very inefficient. I used to be able to get a visa the same day back in the 80s. I have been advised that I must live in Algeria for 5 years to qualify as much as I love Dz I cannot live there neither would my DH want to we are settled in UK.

BeeMyBaby Sun 29-May-16 12:02:57

Pirate hunter, I would not really advise meeting an Algerian online if you are from an eu country if the Algerian does not have a visa/ citizenship. Unfortunately I have heard stories and watched as FIL and BIL fish online.

I'm trying to work out what to cook for Ramadan, I don't do it but DH gets bad heartburn so I have been banned from using any tomato sauces, and also I've been told not to use empty carbs so I'm not allowed to make anything pasta based. Plus as each fast is broken with a bowl of chorba, soup for dinner is out.

Rienfenty Fri 27-May-16 22:47:49

Hi pirate hunter. First of all no one can really know what this man is like and no one can advise if he is good for you however a few things to bear in mind is culture difference, religious beliefs and plans for the future. My husband is Berber and from a small city, he has strong beliefs and is the complete opposite of men in my culture (I am British). This can be very difficult and testing for our marriage sometimes however this is what we wanted and we compromise to make t work. All I can suggest is that if meeting in person, take someone with you, never be alone with him, respect yourself, learn about Islam and speak to him about his beliefs and culture. Don't judge him on what you hear from others too, he could be out for a visa or he could be completely genuine no one can know. Just keep your eyes wide open and learn as much as you can about everything before you make any decisions. If you need someone to talk to or any support I can pm you my email or Facebook. Take care

ThePirateHunter Fri 27-May-16 08:50:31

Hi, I just met this site and found the thread who talking about woman marrying Alergian man. Well I don't know if this thread is still active or not but I really need to hear other people opinion about my relationship with my Algerian man, I hope someone read this ;)
I met him on December last year and decided to build our romantic relationship on April. he is the most polite man I've ever know, we met online and he said he really serious about our relationship and decided to visit me and meet my parents to talk about this relationship. we set the date and it supposed to be in september this year but he just surprise me and told me that he already have ticket to fly to my country in the middle of june. instead of being happy and surprised i just got angry to him, it's just because i was not ready yet to have such a serious relationship with any guy since i'm only 22 and he is 37 i think he will make it as the big deal. i just told him that i'm not ready for marriage yet because it scare me and it also because i read so many negative review on internet about algerian man plus we only have a month relationship. but instead being mad at me he just understand how i'm not ready about all of this and talk to me slowly his intention to meet me and my parents on june and he really patience to answer all of my doubts. now i'm ready to meet him on june and even already tell my parents about his visit to meet them, and so far they have a positive reaction about his plan. his a beber man live in village call selloum. guys am i gone too far with my relationship with him? is this the right decision to let him meet me that fast? and do you think it's normal?
i will be very happy if there's someone who answer me ;)

SeriousSam Thu 19-May-16 11:57:20

yah. but he doesnt use my money. so he needs me for his visa but he paid himself.

stairway Wed 18-May-16 18:43:55

Hi momof2. I haven't done anything yet but its on my mind. We usually have a tidy up first. I'm trying to make a few preserved lemons for some tagines.
My morrocan friend said she would help me make some of their special cakes this year. I'm rubbish at the north African cooking makarky but I try harder during ramadam.
Rienfenty congratulations on deciding to take the shahadah ..or should that be mashAllah grin
I took mine nearly 8 years ago at east London mosque.
My advice is do what you feel comfortable doing in regards to the religion, nothing more and nothing less.
I'm not the best muslimah I don't prey enough and never cover my head. I tried it and hated it.
I do love ramadam time though! Such a special family and spiritual time.

Rienfenty Wed 18-May-16 11:52:47

Salamalaikoum momof2uk and stairway! No Ramadan preparations yet however i will be saying shahada soon and I will make a list and practice prayer and also I have a slow cooker so i will be relying on that! Lol. Momof2uk it's so difficult to be put in this situation so I understand 100%, I have dreams of opening a centre for autistic children and their families in Algeria but your right they have no idea about autism which is really sad. Where are you from in UK x

momof2uk Tue 17-May-16 23:20:04

Rienfenty I also have a son with autism, and that is also a massive no for me about ever seriously moving over to Algeria. It's just not recognised and supported there like it is here. Stairway I've made a few preparations but not a lot so far, I just can't seem to get with it this year. How are you getting on with your preparations?

stairway Tue 17-May-16 22:35:20

Hi to all the new Algerian wives grin
Mumof2 and Rienfenty salam it would be nice to keep this thread active.
Hello again beemybaby are you back from the bled yet?
Anyone preparing for ramadam yet?

Rienfenty Wed 11-May-16 10:12:29

I have a son whom is autistic so I refuse to live in Algeria as there is no support or therapy for him there. Which gives him no choice really. Maybe in the future it's something to think about though. There are no other Algerians around where we live and he's struggling to find work so he is at home a lot which he isn't used to (he's 25 I'm 22) so he spent all of his time in Algeria out with his friends😩. Yeah they are easily intertwined, I can understand your concerns with your children. I am converting and find it difficult to accept culture when I know the religion to say otherwise.

BeeMyBaby Mon 09-May-16 19:02:04

Why did he move to the uk if he doesn't like it? Does he want to go back? I completely agree with the culture and religion clash, but it's only become an issue as we have children now.

Rienfenty Thu 05-May-16 19:41:20

I am married to an Algerian! And he can be a nightmare sometimes! We are in our first year of marriage and he moved to the UK about 8 months ago. He hates it here which makes things super hard for our relationship. Culture drives me nuts too because most of it clashes with religion (the culture is the problem not the religion). He is Berber chaouia and I find him very tough when it comes to his feelings lol I do love him dearly though 😊

BeeMyBaby Sun 10-Apr-16 23:05:23

Serious did he have a visa before you met him or did you sponsor him? Does his visa still depend on you if he is on one?

SeriousSam Wed 06-Apr-16 12:50:03

married to one.
currently looking for shelter, or any safe place for my mental health
and the baby im carrying in me.

BeeMyBaby Sun 03-Apr-16 16:41:25

10 years shock!!!!!! So difficult now!!! Although good I suppose as I know of one man who left his wife within 6 months after getting his citizenship under the 3 years ILR.

momof2uk Sat 02-Apr-16 22:12:19

Most likely we will stay for two to three weeks ☺ Dh is on the 10 year route and has just applied for his first renewal of his leave to remain. He's probably looking at being able to apply for indefinite leave in about 7yrs, as long as the government doesn't move the goal posts yet again!

BeeMyBaby Sat 02-Apr-16 21:47:57

Do you plan to go for long? I have a 10 week old too and so we are using my mat leave time to spend as much time as possible during the DDs school holidays. How long do you have to wait till your DH gets ILR/ citizenship?

momof2uk Sat 02-Apr-16 20:40:55

We've only been once as a family, we had planned to go this year but were surprised with the arrival of our baby girl and all the expenses that came along with her! We had to renew dh FLR in December so we just won't have the money to this year. But we have already set a date to go next year hopefully! Kouba is lovely, I walked around wearing normal dresses and cropped.leggings etc, and even used the metro and had no problem whatsoever. I saw many girls there walking around in strapless tops and dresses, completely the opposite of what I expected to be honest

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