Anyone with Algerian husband?

(69 Posts)
doublemuvver Sat 05-Mar-11 12:17:45

Curious to know of others married to Algerians and what, if any, cultural differences/issues you have experienced. We've been married 6 years and have 2 kids (twins). Life is a bit of a rollercoaster sometimes.

iniquity Tue 02-Jun-15 23:00:24

Hi penny
Can your husband visit London often? There is a little Algiers near Tottenham court road full of Algerian cafes and butchers. There is also a website dz Londoner but it is not very active. is a bit more active. Certainly when we lived in London it was easy to get Algerian patisserie and treats like merguez and selector.
Red I also advice you to check Also if you want to find out about Islam there are a few mosques about which are female friendly and are welcoming to people new to Islam.

BeeMyBaby Thu 21-May-15 18:40:35

Also red, if you don't intend to raise your daughter Muslim, it may be better not to confuse her at this point, when she is older she can learn about Algeria and the fight for independence from France through films etc... There is also a story for children called 'a hen in the wardrobe' which is all about an Algerian/Berber father wanting to go back to visit his village, that might be nice for her when she is 5 or 6

BeeMyBaby Thu 21-May-15 18:37:02

Hi penny, does he have the option of going for a holiday back to Algeria? My husband usually goes once or twice a year and that seems to help a lot.

penny2810 Sun 03-May-15 11:54:20

Hi I was wondering if anyone is still reading this thread? My Algerian husband (has Tunisian nationality now) has been in Ipswich UK for 7 months. We are expecting our first baby and generally very happy. However he is finding it difficult to settlr, misses family etc. I wondered if any one else lived close by or of anyone has experience of this? Thanks

red255 Sat 25-Apr-15 22:04:14

My toddler is 1 1/2. Her Dad is not on the scene. I am interested on finding out more so that I can provide some answers when she is older.

BeeMyBaby Fri 17-Apr-15 23:04:50

How old is your toddler? Are you still with the their father? I would recommend start with music, there's lots of Algerian/Berber music... My children's favourite used to be mimi by idir (lyrics in Berber rather than French or Arabic). You could also play some versus of the Quran and get your child used to the sound of it.

red255 Wed 15-Apr-15 18:06:37

I have a half Algerian toddler who will probably never know her Algerian family. Her Dad's spent time in Algiers and Oran. He has a Berber and Arab background. Can anyone help me find out information on her background, culture and Dad's religion (Muslim). I know that is a lot of info but I don't know where to start.

iniquity Mon 09-Feb-15 18:28:57

Hi sjp!
I'm thrilled to see another Algerian wife still on mumsnet!
I have been to Algeria 3 times and I do feel priveledged to visit a beautiful country untouched by westerners.
But the cultural difference is mindblowing. There is certainly no handholding in the remote villages!
There us a risk of kidnapping in the remote areas. And if the relationship breaks down the mother cannot take the kids out of the country.
My dh is from a remote village towards the west so quite different to life in Algiers I'd imagine

sjp0000 Sun 08-Feb-15 13:18:18

hi beautiful ladies (and men) - handholding is allowed in Algeria especially if you are married (and also if you are not!) so whoever is telling u it's not is LYING to you or that particular person wants to keep his options open re: future Algerian wives and doesn't like to be seen in your company.

I have been to Algeria twice and felt safe although I was being shadowed most of the time and the one time I did walk around the neighbourhood and to the train station on my own was a bit nerve wracking to say the least haha 3 cars stopped but I just kept crossing over to the other side of the road and they drove off again :D
Algeria is such a beautiful country and I love the Sahara <3 The Algerians I have met are nothing that you describe above - I even went on a bus trip with a group and found them to be genuine, open, warm people. Algerian men can be a bit dominant although this poses no problem for me because I am too - I give as good as I get and I advise you to do the same - if he wants to go out and hang with his friends without u then I advise u to do the same :-D sometimes the man just needs to be pulled from his high horse and SHOWN how it feels to be treated the way he treats others - works like a charm!

iniquity Sat 31-Jan-15 10:07:36

Any Algerian or north African wives still about on mumsnet?

walterwhiteswife Tue 31-Dec-13 04:02:04

my exh never tried to stop me drinking. I was however a massive weed smoker and he suggested I stopped that!! for the first couple of years of marriage he was the centre of my world. but looking back now I wasn't the centre of his. he was an emotional bully and sometimes physical. when ds was 2 I fled to a refuge and now live happily by ourselves. its been very hard regarding the following islam for our son and something we fall out over all the time. but ds loves him and he loves ds so I bite my lip

worldcitizen Mon 30-Dec-13 23:42:48

Oh bee, I am sorry I didn't mean to stirr up bad feelings here sad

BeeMyBaby Mon 30-Dec-13 22:13:08

I'm not sure about it all to be honest, I would say the majority of rules that dh has insisted upon have been for my own benefit although I couldn't see it initially. Other people comment negatively on these but I can understand why dh has said them and I'm happy to stick to them- no going out to pubs for example, my workmates all complain but I get why this is no longer appropriate for me. My parents complain that I no longer drink alcohol (what an odd complaint!) but it is better for my health and I was a binge drinker before.
The only really awful Algerian man I've come across is fil, who married a woman in France for a visa and is just horrendous, and some of dh's friends have married for visas...

Hell, it is depressing to know I will never know whether dh married me for me, or because of a visa. I will stop my ramble here!

worldcitizen Mon 30-Dec-13 20:50:10

Hello bee,
I would like to go as far as saying how unsure I am exactly about this type of man treating ANY woman that way.
I do feel that with Algerian women or any country the men is heading from being shared as a background with his wife, actually puts him in a much more difficult position to hold up with cultural expectations asked from him to fulfill, IYSWIM

I very often feel, it's with European women for example more a case of having the cake and eat it. And simply stating and demanding all the expectations, presumably then everything being argued to be cultural or religious norms of his upbringing etc.
However, assuming they are true...what about all the things he needs to do for his wife and family, which are also expectations of his culture...

Most women not from those cultures do not know enough or actually believe the stereotype versions themselves and buy into it....

It's hard for me to explain, but it makes my blood boil and I get so angry about these things, especially since they truly give Islam, and arabic/berber culture a bad rep as well.

And I am angry for women being mistreated that way, especially if they give so much and are so tolerant and want to learn the language, and about the culture and the country and are willing to convert and/or have their children being raised as Muslims and true to their father's cultural background.

I just get so sad about this...

BeeMyBaby Mon 30-Dec-13 19:38:58

I'm so far in a happy marriage but I understand what you are getting at- some demands are very difficult to cope with. I would say that this behaviour is not against European women- it is simply how they would treat any wife- European or Algerian.

worldcitizen Mon 30-Dec-13 15:44:57

I am always so sorry when these things happen. I always wonder what the right approach to this should be?
Or maybe, the woman is too good-hearted or emotionally hungry, so a hot-blooded charming good-looking Mediterranean mman simply hits all the right buttons at the right time?

walterwhiteswife Mon 30-Dec-13 15:39:53

not alot you can do world people tried with me but I was blind. 11 years on and one ds later and I still can't get rid!

worldcitizen Mon 30-Dec-13 15:36:30

This is so sad...sad I once lost a very dear friend...she married an Algerian, and please the emphasis on being "Berber and not Arab" shows to me how much the region and culture is being misunderstood.
It's almost like brainwashing as in explaing the woman their views of their culture, religion etc. as being universal to their country...

Most of the young male Algerians who came to Europe from the early nineties on (and who are from Kabyla etc.) are truly horrible in so many ways and they also give their country and the culture such a bad rep.

Most women who are with them are way above their leaugue and they go through hell with my friend, but when I warned and explained, she didn't listen and dropped me like a hot potatoe, he also made her to...

later she was so afraid of him, she only wanted to get through with the visa thing and hoped that he would get 'rid of her', so she wouldn't have to fear him stalking her etc.

I also heard and saw over and over again the scenario older European woman with younger fella from Tunisia, Morocco, Egypt etc. usually working there in hospitality claiming to be totally in love...

When I tred to explain why he is most likely lying and all that...the women simply liked to kill the messenger...

walterwhiteswife Mon 30-Dec-13 14:48:05

no tbh I wouldn't have listened but if I knew then what I know now I would have run for the hills!

walterwhiteswife Mon 30-Dec-13 14:46:01

what was you're questions? ?

worldcitizen Sat 28-Dec-13 14:15:48

Hey hello, just found this thread again and saw that some have actually responded to my question. So sorry, but this thread didn't show up as being continued anymore...sorry.
I'll read the responses and then will write again, if you're all still there smile

BeeMyBaby Fri 27-Dec-13 20:31:23


walterwhiteswife Wed 25-Dec-13 14:22:02

bringmesunshine I hope you are safe and well and well away from him.

youarepricelessforme Sun 07-Jul-13 13:16:20

bringmesunshine deleted all her post but why? did she say something horrible ?is she crazy anyway i've got everything copied and well kept for the kids to see the lies of their mum when they get older she destroyed the family she is greedy ,she is hypocrit when she say she converted she has abducted the kids fom their father just because it was playing on her mind that i may take them she betrayed me and all my family i never had the intention to remove the kids from her she just decided not to move to algeria so she did a big mess for her plan .she is evil ,how can she do this to her husband to her kids ,she ignored everyone and then she comes her on mnet and pretend to be the victim .allah akbar on her and all the evil people who are helping her to separate the kids from their father

Merieme Tue 26-Feb-13 18:50:44

Even as an algerian i feel overwhelmed with all the culture, the way that we worked this out was by communicating. As long as your man supports you, you have nothing to worry about and sometimes you do need to remind them that just because you are not algerian/arab that doesnt mean they can take you for granted. my grandad once said to me 'if you eat, and shit you can surly cook and clean!!'loool

(so happy that i have found people that are in a similar situation to me)

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