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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

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Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

What will the miscarriage be like?

66 replies

BibiTwo · 29/09/2005 18:44

I've had some very sad news. I had some bleeding last night and at the hospital today they told me my 16wk baby had died at 12 weeks. I have had some medication to get the "birth" started and am to go in again on Saturday for the rest. I am terrified (just one of the many, many emotions I am going through) not knowing what to expect.
When I asked the Dr what it would be like she said "worse than period pains", when I asked a midwife she said the pain would be "like labour".
In my experience there's a big gap between the two so I'm looking for some advice and hopefully reassurance about what's going to happen to me.

Thanks

OP posts:

Report

Nevada · 29/09/2005 18:50

Sorry to hear this Bibi .

I miscarried at home. It was worse than period pains and built to a climax, the way labour does. However, it wasn't as bad as labour.

I didn't take any painkillers though and presumably in hospital, they'll give you what you need.

Pixiefish · 29/09/2005 18:51

So sorry to hear of your loss. I have no experience of this type of mc. I did however suffer a mc at 18 weeks and it was worse than period pains but nowhere near as bad as labour. Someone else will hopefully help more- I don't know as I didn't have any medication so this may make things different

BunnyBoo · 29/09/2005 18:53

I am so sorry

I can not help you with the pain factor as i had my miscarriage very early at 5 1/2 weeks, i did have tiny belly ache but that was it.

george32 · 29/09/2005 18:58

Sorry, no advice as I had an ERPC with my m/c, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. I hope that the weekend passes quickly for you.
{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}

BibiTwo · 29/09/2005 18:59

One reassurance si this thread, knwoing that other have gone through this and came out okay. Reading some of the threads has made me feel, not better, but less awful about the whole thing.
I am having a very hard time knowing my baby is still inside me but hasn't been alive for some time. So cruel.

OP posts:

golds · 29/09/2005 19:04

I have no experience of a miscarraige, but have suffered a baby loss (ectopic - long story), i just wanted you to know how sorry I am you are going through this.

george32 · 29/09/2005 19:04

It is a terribly cruel thing to go through Bibi. Take some time out for you and make sure you have someone there to take care of you.
Things will get better in time.

welshmum · 29/09/2005 19:09

So sorry bibitwo. I had an m/c at just over 12 weeks at home and it was like a very,very painful period - but obviously with alot of attendant emotional distress. I almost appreciated the pain as it made it all feel more real (is that odd?) Hope it goes as straighforwardly as it can and you have the time and space to take it all in. Don't rush yourself over it would be my advice - grieve as much as you need to. Take care.

Jenum71 · 29/09/2005 19:10

My thoughts go out to you

Cooperoo · 29/09/2005 19:17

I am so sorry. Will be thinking of you.

Nbg · 29/09/2005 19:17

So sorryto hear your going through this BibiTwo. It is a cruel thing to happen, so sad.

I, like others have said, experienced labour type pains, not as severe but more painful than period pains. I think the pains were quite scary for me as I didn't know what was happening at the time.

Do you have a dp with you while your going through this?
Like george32 said, take some time out.

Hugs to you . x

sweetheart · 29/09/2005 19:28

Bibi,

So sorry to hear your sad news. I understand how you are feeling 100% as I went through exactly the same thing in January. I was 16.5 weeks and they said the baby had died at around 14 weeks.

I was terrified about the whole process too but I can say that the pain is no worse than bad period cramp and as the baby is no longer alive they can give you very strong pain killers to take the edge off any pain.

I went into hospital at 9am and had delivered by about 12ish. I felt a pop which was my waters breaking. About 10 mins later I felt another pop. I got up to see if it was more waters and the baby fell out into my knickers. I didn't have to push or anything.

It took a while longer to deliver the placenta for which I had to crouch on the bed. After our baby was delivered they cleaned him up and (on my request) brought him in for us to look at. He looked very peaceful.

I was home by mid afternoon and could start the grieving process after the procedure.

It might help you to know that because of the babies size it may well be possible for them to do a post mortum so you may get an answer as to why this terrible thing has happened. Our hospital also organised a funeral which I found helped alot as now I have a place to visit my angel.

If you need any other info or support please feel free to CAT me. I understand what an awful time this is but I can promise you it does get easier with time.

Hugs to you and your dh!!!!

BibiTwo · 29/09/2005 20:18

DH is with me, and having dd has been a great help for both of us this evening. Thank you for ally our kind words, they mean a lot.
x

OP posts:

frannyf · 29/09/2005 20:31

I haven't any advice to offer, just wanted to say that I'm terribly sorry to read what you are going through, and glad you have your family there for you.

sweetheart · 29/09/2005 20:35

Bibi,

My dd is 5 years old. It was having her around that pulled me through our experience. Without her and my lovely dh I'm not sure I would have made it through the whole thing.

Be good to yourselves and take lots of time to process your feelings.

Loosing our little boy did something I never imagined possible which is bring dh and I even closer than we were before.

I also found it helped me to offer dh as much support as he was offering me. Although he wasn't actually going through the procedure I found he took our loss just as hard as me.

my sympathy goes out to you both

majormoo · 29/09/2005 21:25

Just wanted to say I'm really sad to hear your news and am thinking of you.

BibiTwo · 30/09/2005 10:11

I am having pains every 5 minutes now and they are quite intense, but very little blood loss, is this normal? I really don't know what to expect and views at the hospital were ambiguous.
Part of me is beginning to wish I'd taken the surgical route (ERPC?) which they would have done immediately yesterday, because all this would have been over with now. I didn't because my gut reaction was that they weren't going to just scrape my baby out of me and throw him away.
I am very frightened this morning.

OP posts:

GhostofNatt · 30/09/2005 10:16

Bibitwo am sure there will be someone along in a moment who knows something useful; just wanted to say don't be frightened. Am so sorry you are going through this. I hope you are not on your own?

cori · 30/09/2005 10:21

Hi Bibi, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this right now. I had almost exactly the same experience earlier this year, though the baby died at around 15 weeks, I was 16 weeks when I found out.
If you are in a lot of pain right now then the 'labour' is probably starting, I suggest you call the hospital, as you might need to go in. I dont think you would nesscarily expect any blood loss at this stage. But you will afterwards. Take care.

marthamoo · 30/09/2005 10:24

Bibi, I am so sorry you are going through this. I hope the worst of it is over soon. You do have someone with you, don't you?

sweetheart · 30/09/2005 10:55

Bibi,

I had the first medication on a Wednesday and did not experience any pain until I went into deliver on the Friday.

Perhaps you should ring the labour ward as you may need to go into the hospital. You can take pain killers but I would speak to the hospital first.

Hugs honey - so sorry you are going through this it's an awful time.

If it helps I asked about having the baby another way and was told it wasn't possible as the baby would be too big for a normal procedure.

I know it's frightning but try and stay calm. I found it helped to take my own pillow and blanket to the hospital as I couldn't stop shaking from shock and feeling cold.

chickenrice · 30/09/2005 12:07

I'm so sorry to hear your news, BibiTwo.

I've just had an ERPC the day before yesterday. I've either had a missed miscarriage or a molar. Waiting for the lab results. Am devastated about the loss of my baby.

I'd like to add that the ERPC is different from the D &C as it is done by suction not scrape with possibly less side effects. Just thought I'd let you know this just in case you consider it again.

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motherinferior · 30/09/2005 12:08

Bibi,
I am so very, very sorry.

Toothache · 30/09/2005 12:12

So so sorry for your loss....and what you have to go through now.

Enid · 30/09/2005 12:12

just read this and so sorry to hear it. Bibi I think you will find it is quite painful. I would recommend you are not on your own and that you stock up on painkillers. I didn't take any painkillers when I was m/cing as I was so confused that I was worried I would harm the baby if i did and it was more painful than it needed to be.

lots of love x E

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