The BESH plumbing is blocked up. Where's a man with a big tool when you need one?

(1000 Posts)
FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Sun 23-Jun-13 15:57:50

Welcome to the BESH plumbing thread, where we have blocked pipes, dirty u-bends and leaks aplenty.

Newbies are welcome to seek out the BESHtionnaire submit highly inflated quotes for consideration. Instadiffers will be massively overcharged and sent packing.

<sucks air through teeth> Hmmm, this job is gonna cost a bit wink

eurozammo Sun 23-Jun-13 16:02:18

<Hands over 3 grand to pay for someone to fiddle with plumbing>

<Feels completely shafted>

HesterShaw Sun 23-Jun-13 16:14:00

<proffers own plumbing for inspection>

What do you mean there appears to be nothing wrong with it? IT'S NOT FUCKING WORKING!

HesterShaw Sun 23-Jun-13 16:14:30

(genius, BTW, frank xx)

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 23-Jun-13 16:15:42

<puts on efficient business-voice>
Can you do me a quote and a guarantee, please?

Feeling less suicidal after a nap. Clearly this will be the month of napping and no alcobol, because of the sore head!

Did I miss much at the end of the last fred?

I saw your doubts hes, about IVF after failed IUIs, I have them too. SB is convinced we'll get an embryo, as we proved we can before. But that is it. And I am not convinced with him this time...

HesterShaw Sun 23-Jun-13 16:20:35

I don't think the doubts are about getting an embryo in a dish. It's just getting it/them to stick afterwards that I am very hmm about. Nothing whatsoever has given me any indication that I am capable of conceiving a child, let along carrying one.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Sun 23-Jun-13 16:22:53

Cheers huns xxx <ducks>

Northey Sun 23-Jun-13 16:24:23

<scratches head over sluggish pipes>
<calls dynorod>

Brilliant fred!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 23-Jun-13 16:24:56

Oh, I doubt every step along the way. I doubt my ability to continue with the drucks, I doubt the drucks ability to keep my over-enthusiastic dominant follie in check, I very much doubt surviving EC waves at scarily similar zammo, that thing with the heart rate you did, I had at the lap, I cannot believe things will actually happy, and I cannot imagine sitting there on OTD ever again, smug with a peed-on-fiver in the pocket.

On that happy note, clearly it is time to cook tea, not yet you say? My hormones need FOOD!

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 23-Jun-13 16:25:33

And I agree, frank, tis a boootiful fred.

HesterShaw Sun 23-Jun-13 16:28:55

Drizz seeing as you're in a happy and optimistic mood, I think wine is the only answer.

eurozammo Sun 23-Jun-13 16:29:44

I just had a poo <chatty> Fuck me that hurt. What the hell have they done down there?!? They got two eggs last time and I didn't feel a thing.

drizz we are AC twins. If you make it though downregging, you will have my utmost respect because I just couldn't hack it.

frank fred is genius.

lovesLemonDrizzleCake Sun 23-Jun-13 16:33:07

Eurespect and wine, that might make life even better wink.
The only thing is the question of headaches and wine. Well we'll see. Feeling worse is hardly likely...

evilgiraffe Sun 23-Jun-13 16:34:30

I've got a whole missing pipe, grumble grumble.

I know what you mean, Hes, I have doubts about my ability to be pregnant too. I have zero faith in my body's ability to do anything properly any more. Particularly given the endometriosis, unexplained anaphylactic shock, and occasional sudden onset bowel trouble - I just don't trust that I'm at all capable of carrying a pregnancy or giving birth. Or being an adequate parent.

The bowel thing is quite upsetting too - it happens for no apparent reason with little discernible pattern. If I'd had more clue, I might not have been caught short in a field yesterday afternoon sad I don't want to go to the GP to see if it might be IBS or something, because I already feel over-medicalised. And the last time I went to the GP for something non-fertility related, I was told that anaphylaxis was hayfever, so have the impression I will be treated like a hypochondriac every time I go now. Arrrrgh.

evilgiraffe Sun 23-Jun-13 16:36:29

Aww, I missed an opportunity to use <chatty> sad

And great thread, Frank! Love all this talk of pipes and blockages and suchlike grin

HesterShaw Sun 23-Jun-13 16:50:59

Draf, you have unexplained anaphylaxis too? You are me! This was why they delayed my IUI for the second time, and insisted I went to an immunologist. He couldn't find any answer to it, even though I conveniently had an attack whilst en route to the appointment and turned up gasping, wheezing, itching and with eyes like Rocky. In fact he referred me back to the GP saying it wasn't an allergy because my eyes were "too swollen" hmm. Twat. Strange that it never happens in the summer when I am taking regular piritons for hay fever.

I occasionally get terrible stomach cramps and the unexplained shits as well. In fact I am full of wind at the moment <chatty>. The day after the IUI, I was doubled over in agony on the toilet feeling faint and in a cold sweat. It felt like I was in labour
<has never been in labour>
No idea what that was all about. It went away after a small poo!

eurozammo Sun 23-Jun-13 16:55:56

Draf I hear you on being over-medicalised. In the past 6 weeks I have had 3 procedures - headbump removal, colposcopy and cervical biopsy and now EC. If I never saw another dr again it would be far too soon.

I used to get the unexplained shits too - it was IBS. It's much better now. It took a while to work out my triggers though because it wasn't just one thing, so it was difficult to see a pattern.

evilgiraffe Sun 23-Jun-13 17:10:12

I never used to, euro, then had the year from hell last year with infertility diagnosis and work blowing up in my face until I gave up and resigned - stress like you wouldn't believe. Since then, my innards are not at all reliable! I should probably keep a food diary to see if I can work out any sort of pattern. Does yours mean you need >1 triggers to have an effect? It must be a nightmare to work out.

Hest, I've had anaphylaxis just the once (last year, shortly before the stress really ramped up), and the consultant initially thought it might be food-dependent exercise-induced. However, I tested negative on all the scratch tests and have had no recurrence even of hives, so they've written it off as a one off. I have been too scared to try running again, though (no bad thing, as I hate it), and have stuck to cycling instead, so haven't really tested the exercise-induced part.

evilgiraffe Sun 23-Jun-13 17:15:57

Weirdly, I wasn't frightened of the anaphylaxis (HOTB was, he was too scared even to call an ambulance, as that would have made it "real", dickhead), but then I suppose oxygen deprivation does rather impair the ability to think. Blue-purple nails are not an attractive look, mind. And it took about three hours to get warm again. If it ever happens again, it will be a call to 999 straight off!

HesterShaw Sun 23-Jun-13 17:21:49

My consultant really pricked up his ears when I said I had had an attack after running in the cold. However that came back negative. Everything came back negative. In the end he put it down to "stress of the fertility treatment". Oh really? Even those attacks I had in my 20s? I hate consultants who don't listen. You should have been given an epipen just in case, draf. I have one, even though I am unlikely to need it because if I catch it early enough, piriton works on its own. Can you ask for one?

eurozammo Sun 23-Jun-13 17:24:26

No, it could be either in my case. The main thing for me was dairy, but I also figured out that very fibrous fruit and veg skins (peppers, grapes, things like that) could set me off. Took me ages to work out why I was dashing for the loo after cutting out the dairy.

BTW, I did see a dr on the NHS who took a bowel biopsy (horrific experience, not to be recommended). He was useless. Once they figured out it wasn't bowel cancer, they gave me this nasty diet sheet (basically all easy to digest carbs) and sent me on my way. I saw a private nutritionist who helped me identify the dairy trigger. I figured out the skins thing myself some time later.

Gosh, that was serious. I think I need someone with a large tool to cheer me up.

RaspberrySnowCone Sun 23-Jun-13 17:25:23

I love this thread already, I've had my plumbing checked, pipes are clear of grot but not functioning quite as they should but aren't really fixable. This will cost me a fucking fortune wont it.

I can't actually ever imagine having a baby now. Cuddling my friends new baby yesterday, I didn't actually feel particularly sad for me, I just feel kind of distance from it? Does that make sense? Babies and a family are just something that happens to other people, in its most morbid sense I suppose its like cancer and car accidents, they don't happen to you, just to other people and if they do happen to you its a complete shock.. I also can't believe that IVF will work first time, if at all. I've not known anyone have a first time win. So all in all, I can't really begin to get excited about the next 12 weeks, even if everyone else in the world thinks I should be swinging from the posh lights hanging from the ceiling. They can fuck off.

Sorry for the traumatic poo Euro. I was on co-codomol after my clear out last year and didn't poo for about 5 days. When it arrived it was EPIC. I felt like I had given birth. It's probably the closest I will ever get anyway.

Northey Sun 23-Jun-13 17:45:21

Oh God, yes to the co-codamol poo! After second ectopic I didn't poo for days, partly because of the drucks and partly because I felt anxious about, umm, straining my stomach stitches. When I finally managed it, my eyes nearly exploded out of my head, and I had to brace my legs against the door. It was like some kind of medieval medical procedure.

Northey Sun 23-Jun-13 17:47:35

I repeat. I had to brace my feet against the door. Just in case you didn't full appreciate the oversharing...

RaspberrySnowCone Sun 23-Jun-13 17:55:28

I'm sorry Norf but the bracing just made me lol, I know that feeling. It's horrific but so very satisfying when it finally comes out!

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