DD, nearly 2, driving me NUTS refusing to eat.

[Pofacedagain]

She has always been picky. But she's always had a few things she'd eat - a bit of cheese, a few bites of bread pasta, the odd sausage roll, chicken risotto - and chocolate. As much choc as she can get her hands on. Recently she's started totally rejecting risotto, sausage rolls, cheese. She likes to chew food then spit it into my hand. It is absolutely infuriating. I try her with all my food - rejected or spat out. The other day she had a little of my bacon and egg. But it is as if she eats a little every few days rather than every day. She is small. She drinks a bit of milk and breastfeeds at night. But what can I do now she is reducing her diet and food choices further? I give her a vitamin/iron supplement. I am really tearing my hair out at her total lack of interest in food.

But chocolate - she just wants it all the time. Aaaargh.

[GypsyMoth]

mine too.....well,ds is 2 and a bit now and is the same

but

he's youngest of my 5 dc,and they've all done this. eldest is almost 16 and they eat like horses now....so theres hope!

[BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny]

Get rid of the chocolate. Don't make a fuss, don't worry. Just offer her food and don't get in a tiz if she refuses it, just offer it again later. NO CHOCOLATE!! because you'll find that this is all she will eat in the years to come until she decides to do something about it herself.

Do you eat as a family so she can see you all eating?

[Pofacedagain]

Not enough belle. Dh gets home so late. but I try to eat with her and ds. Ds never had a problem eating, big and strong. But we went to a restaurant the other night where she had the most beautiful chicken and thick cut chips - ds wolfed it - every single mouthful dd chewed and then spat out in my hand. Grrrr.

She literally gets up in the morning and screams, pointing at the cupboard where the chocolate is until I give her a piece of chocolate.

[Pofacedagain]

good to know three that they can grow out of it but dd is so stubborn and I think I am giving her a complex, trying to get her to eat.

[BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny]

Why is she spitting it out in your hand? Why's it so close to her face??

I know it's easy to give in to the chocolate fix, please don't because she's learned that if she screams for long enough she can have chocolate. Stop buying it!! Tell her that you don't have any chocolate, it's sweet, has caffine in it so it's addictive. Throw it all away (or move it somewhere else), open the cupboard and show her that you don't have any. Make her some toast, she won't eat it so perservere. NO CHOCOLATE!!

[GypsyMoth]

well i tend to offer normal food.....and clear it away with minimum fuss if its refused. he goes hungry. he asks for chocolate. so i show him the cupboard where its usuually stored....empty....easter didnt help did it? but its all gone now

he now asks for 'cake' so i think its a sweet tooth. he will now have raisins

[GypsyMoth]

oh,and syyrup on his porridge (throwback from pancake day)but at least he will eat some.....he doesnt know i'm gradually reducing syrrup

[EndangeredSpecies]

I think you've hit the nail on the head OP. SHE is reducing her food choices further, when it's you that has to dictate them. She has you over a barrel and knows it. Just bin the chocolate, show her the empty cupboard and then show her the healthy breakfast. Your choice or no choice.

[angel1976]

My DS1 is really into chocolate at the moment. He's 2.2 and it's driving me nuts too. He will ask for chocolate for breakfast! I think if you want to stop this constant asking for chocolate, you will have to be firm. I find that DS1 is really bad asking for chocolate all the time after Christmas/Easter period when we have been relaxed and given him whenever he wanted them.

So now, no chocolate at all. I don't offer him any. Doesn't stop him spotting our chocolate and trying to grab it off the table! I just remove it very quickly and say no. If I do offer him a piece of chocolate, usually when he has his little friends over, he gets one and that's it. Even if he begs and pleads for another, otherwise I will never hear the end of it.

TBH, I think they are very faddy at this age. They will reject something they had previously eaten. But will eat something they never used to eat! DS1 does not eat veges at the moment but I discovered the other day when we were at a friend's house that he likes cous cous...

I would be strict about the chocolate intake at the moment and just keep offering lots of different types of food and not be stressed about it. It's difficult I know as DS1 went through the stage of spitting out everything he put in his mouth. Sometimes he will study it in his palm before sticking it back in his mouth.

[Pofacedagain]

She takes my hand and puts it to her mouth. If I take my hand away she spits it onto the floor. She is so STUBBORN! [can't think why]

I keep chocolate for ds as a reward as he has a little after he has eaten his supper or done some work. And I have to admit I started giving her some to stop her screaming in the pram [she has decided she will not go in the pram anymore but doesn't want to walk] but that has stopped working, as soon as choc finished she screams again. Yes, the choc cupboard has to go, you're right. But some days she eats nothing at all, absolutely zilch.

[Pofacedagain]

oh yes she used to eat broccoli and apples and now no longer.

[BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny]

To be honest, I'd rather she spat on the floor then on my hand, this would really piss me off as it's rude.

You should never give chocolate as a reward for eating supper or doing homework. Make a star chart for ds instead and reward him at the end of the week with an hour watching his favourite cartoons. Sweet foods are not a reward.

Please do yourself a favour and get rid of all the chocolate, she may go through a few days of not eating as she's trying to push you into giving in. Don't. As long as she's drinking she'll be fine, it's a battle of wills. You are the boss, not her!!

[CarGirl]

How much milk do you thing she is having?

If she is small for age, eating chocolate and having plenty of milk in 24 hours then she is probably getting enough calories to not be hungry IYSWIM. When mine were a year old the could drink 9oz equivalent of milk in about a minute no problem........so a couple of feeds each night and milk during the day could be why she isn't hungry enough to bother with proper food during the day.

[seeker]

What Belle said. If she wakes up, screams for chocolate and you give it to her, then why should she ever eat anything else?

[Pofacedagain]

Really? Oh dear. I suppose it is more of a cheer up thing, like on the way home from school or if he asks for some I say 'not until you've eaten your supper' I don't say You've been a really good boy let me get you some chocolate'
But I see what you mean. Yes, must get rid of all chocolate I think. But she really does have the most incredible will. And she rarely seems to get hungry. It is going to be very tricky.

[Pofacedagain]

Not a huge amount of milk cargirl. A cup to two cups a day. she likes water and juice too, often prefers water.

[BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny]

Nooooooooo! You are teaching him to use chocolate as a comfort food dear.

She's not hungry because she's eating chocolate. If you give in to her she'll do this over and over and over again. You have to show her that your will is stronger then hers, stick to your principles or she'll continue to rail road you for years to come. You are the boss, not her.

Chocolate is a treat, not something to be expected for eating supper. Throw it all away and say there is no more left, offer fruit or nothing.

[navyeyelasH]

You could just tell her not to spit her food out full stop?

If it were my child I would say it's ok to remove something from your mouth if you don't like the taste of and place it into a napkin / on the side of the plate. If you repeatedly spit out food for no apparent reason then it gets taken away and there is nothing else until your next meal.

Sorry to sound draconian but I simply don't understand parents who say things like, "I don't know how to stop her eating chocolate". You quite simply don't giver her any, you are the parent here. She has no money and no ability to buy her own chocolate does she?

You should watch that panorama, spoilt rotten. A parent let her child eat 5/6 chubba chub style lollies everyday and he need 7 milk teeth out, she felt like "it was all her fault".

Sorry I know this post sounds aggressive but this is such a bug bear of mine for personal reasons I do not mean to come across so contrary.

[Pofacedagain]

Right ok gosh I feel bad now. I know I have done the wrong thing with her and her poor teeth - ds didn't have chocolate until he was about 3 - but if she sees him having it she wants it of course.

Perhaps I thought as a boy he wouldn't be vulnerable to the comfort food thing. I don't know. But if it is a treat as you say, I thought that was how I was presenting it to ds.
They don't eat sweets - those chubba chub lollies are the devil's work, though I know how hypocritical that sounds.

She doesn't talk yet and doesn't understand everything I say. And she is so small sometime I just want her to eat something rather than nothing. Everyone thinks she is younger than she is. I wonder if I should take her to the gp.

[BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny]

You don't need to take her to the GP, you need to get rid of the chocolate. I don't have a chocolate free house, we sit and nibble for an hour once a week/fortnight whilst watching a movie. He doesn't have it every day, this way it's a treat.

A baby/toddler will act in self preservation first, they want to make sure their needs are met which is why she's screaming for chocolate. It's your job to say no and stick to it because you know she won't eat anything else if she just eats chocolate. There's nothing wrong with sweets if there's a balanced diet, use them like chocolate, not an every day thing or they will expect it.

Don't feel bad, they should give us all a manual when they throw us out of the hospital with the little darlings. Explain to ds that you have none left, he's the big boy.

[navyeyelasH]

pofacedagain, sorry I didn't mean to make you fell bad, I'm just trying (badly!) to show you that you're in charge here not your daughter. You're doing your best right that's the main thing!

I know it's a worry when children don't eat and it must be even worse for you if your daughter is little. But think about it, if you had no knowledge about food and what you need to have in terms of vitamins etc, what would you rather do; eat broccoli or chocolate? I would go for chocolate every time and that is what your daughter is doing. She is too little to "get" that you need good things too.

I was talking about the panorama programme not to make you worry about teeth but just to demonstrate that not eating properly can lead to all sorts of problems; poor sleeping, difficult behaviour, slow growth, makes it harder to concentrate etc etc.

It doesn't matter that she doesn't understand/talk much just keep repeating the same message and show her what you mean and she will get it eventually.

Honestly you can do this, you will be dealing with full on tantrums for 7 days max I reckon. Short term it's stressful but you have a lot to gain long term!

[IMoveTheStars]

bin chocolate - for your DD, and for your DS for finishing his supper. Food shouldn't be used as a reward.

My friend does 'boot camp' when her DS (almost 3) does this. cuts out all yoghurts/chocolate/sweet things. He gets weetabix/readybrek for breakfast, ham/cheese/peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, and then sensible things for dinner. NO alternatives. He's a stubborn sod, but if you're strict as hell it should get her back on track? I know girls tend to develop quicker than boys, so perhaps get the hang of manipulative behaviour with regards to food a little sooner, but seriously, give it a rest with the chocolate.

[Missus84]

I would firstly get rid of the chocolate.

Secondly I would stop the spitting - if she spits food out get her down from the table, end of meal.

Thirdly, cook healthy meals, put it on her plate, and don't make a fuss about it. If she doesn't eat, she doesn't eat. No healthy child will starve themselves - she'll start eating something.

[Pofacedagain]

Ok. Gulp. I'll try. They day we went to the restaurant we'd been out all day and she'd refused breakfast, refused lunch, then had a bit of my ice cream in the afternoon, then i thought she'd be starving when we went to restaurant. but she chewed it all and spat it all out. Odd. But I will get rid of the choc. Help! Must be strong.

[BelleDeChocolateFluffyBunny]

No ice cream aswell

As long as she's drinking then don't worry. Just keep offering her food, don't encourage her to eat, act as if everything's normal.