Well, he lasted long! First thing this morning he asked for milk. I reminded him of our conversation last night, and he said he wanted it anyway.

He has about as much willpower as me!!

DS was feeding at bedtime tonight, and he just sighed and said "I wish there was lots of milk". I told him that there will be lots when the baby comes, and he said "I know, but I want it NOW".

I asked him about the "special milk" (colostrum) and he said that there wasn't enough of it, and he didn't really like it. He then said he was going to stop until the baby and the real milk arrive

I asked what I should do if he asks for milk before then, and he said "just say yes!!"

Sounds like the wee soul doesn't actually know what he wants!!

Congratulations HappyAccident

There was one poster who was nursing three (or maybe planning too)
Poster name was cheesy something...maybe worth search for.

All the best with weaning DD, I have also been talking to my 3 year old DD about how when she gets older she won't want milk. She laughs and says 'silly mummy' so I don't think she is ready to even think about weaning yet but I hope it is sinking in at some level.

Congratulations HappyAccident, and for good scan news ChairmumMiaow.

Hope you and DS on the mend Mawbroon,
I'm about a month ahead of you I think and colostrum is increasing weekly! DS has cut down a bit over the last few days though, not asked for his morning feed or after nursery. He's had 2 days with no milk as I've been out in the evening. Nice bedtime feed tonight though . When he does ask for milk now he also announces he'll stop after baby comes, haven't told him he needs too!

Gosh, I don't think that I've posted on here since I was last pregnant and nursing, but here I am again on a whole new pregnancy, and nursing 2 dc already! (and masquerading under a new name for the time being)

Thankfully am not yet sore (am around 6 or 7 weeks I think), which I was right from the get go last time. Long may that continue! Am going to start mentioning occasionally to dd that she should stop nursing when she turns 4, as I really don't want to be feeding all 3 of them at once! She only feeds once a day at the moment, so hopefully it won't be too traumatic for her <crosses fingers>. Of course the ideal situation would be if she chose to give up by herself before then, but I can't see that happening.
No one else has found themselves in this position have they?

Sorry to hear that you and ds are both poorly mawbroon. Hope you are both back to full health very soon.

Haven't been on this thread for a while!

Things going ok here, except between us, ds and I are now into our 5th week of one of us being stay at home sick. I have forgotten what it looks like outside!!!

DS currently has a really nasty bug. He was swabbed for swine flu, but we haven't had the results yet. I thought last week that it might be, but now I'm thinking it's one of those horrendous stomach bugs.

I have almost no milk and I feel sorry for the wee soul when he asks for it. He wants to nurse even though he's only getting a few drips though, so I am not going to deny him his comfort. My colostrum should be in soon, so perhaps he will be happy with that!

I had two courses of antibiotics for a vile ear infection, which has left me with thrush. I have treated down below with a pessary, but will need to get another one because it's not quite shifted yet. I also thought I had it in my nipples and boobs, but thankfully the deep breast pain on feeding has stopped and canesten on my nipples helped.

Pregnancy wise, I've hardly even had time to remember that I'm pg, so I guess that's sort of a good sign.

How's everyone going?

DS's initial latch is a bit toe curling still, but he has taken well to the idea that I don't feed him for very long at a time and he's settling well at night without prolonged feeding.

Had a bit of a scare with some bleeding last week but that's finally stopped now and I had a scan, found a heartbeat, foetus correct size for dates so everything's good

sorry just realised I spelt your name wrong

chairmumeow, I am 7 months pregnant now and at the beginning of this pregnancy I had really sore nips (they looked bruised) but they are fine now. Is it that your ds is feeding too frequently do you think or could it just be that they are quite sensitive at the moment - if the latter then hang on in there and it will get better I'm sure. The only thing I can suggest is restricting the time your ds stays on the breast ie if he feeds for 20mins normally then restrict to 5/10 mins so that they don't get too sore. Good luck with the pregnancy

Anyone got any advice for sore nipples. DS seems to want to feed a lot at the moment and my poor old nipples are really suffering - there is a real teeth-gritting moment when he latches on at the moment.

He's bobbing on and off a lot which makes things worse, but if he does stay on, it eventually starts to get uncomfortable again.

There's normally a reason that he wants to feed more (and some tension in our house is probably contributing to this) so I don't really want to deny him, but I don't think I can stand this for 7.5 more months!

how is everyone doing?

divvy, i have felt less sick this pg than previous and this is my first 'pg and bf' experience.

i too am crushed by tiredness. just started work again and after 2 days i am barely able to get out of bed now. am beginning to panic about having 3 pre-school children!

think i need to tell family sooner than i wanted so they can help. not sure they will be very suportive though, as i suspect they will all think having 3 kids is a bit, well, silly?!

ds2 is still feeding, but mainly just morning and night now, i think i am about 9 weeks pg.

CMOT - thanks Its early days yet, and I haven't quite got to grips with the idea!

Congratulations Chairmum !

Hello!

I got my BFP on tuesday! No changes here in feeding at all but then I'm only around 4 weeks, so not really surprising!

Hello all
I found out I was pg 10 days ago - but really worried that supply has gone down hugely and dont know if DD (7 months) is getting enough. Is there any good way of boosting supply?

bumping for someone!

Sorry to crash in girls, but breastfeeding while pregnant, can I make morning sickness feel worse?

I am only 5+3 and have felt really sick for quite a few days now, much more and earlier than with the others.

Thanks

I keep thinking that ds is about to wean, and tbh, I don't know when I will actually know if he has or not IYSWIM. It was all happening quite rapidly this last couple of weeks, but he's been ill the last couple of days. At first, he said he didn't want milk and I thought gosh, he's serious about stopping if he doesn't want milk when he's ill, but then he fed like a demon for a couple of days and I am actually feeling like my boobs have responded with more milk.

So who knows eh? I think the key with self weaning is never say never!!

yes i think i was too optiistic yesterday, she wantd it this morning but , it feels horrible now. I used to like feeding her but it just feels uncomfortable and sort of eew now, I'll take each day as it comes, as she fed 3 times in the night aswell in spite of 8 ounces before bed.

Jennylee, Some children ask to return to nursing after the new baby arrives, of course you don't have to agree and let her. So you might not of finished nursing her yet !?!

My dd won't take whats left now all day, she had some in her sleep last night but not sure if she will do that tonight, and I can feel the emptyness, so as for the first time in her life she drained 2 bottles of milk and refused mine, I guess this is the end, for now. at least was not traumatic for her.

The tiredness has struck me already and I am virtually asleep on my feet. semi-craziness directed at DH also in evidence. Slightly tender nips but nothing major - let down feels very strong though to the point of sometimes painful which is weird. Am actually really intrigued to see what happens when the milk disappears/changes to colostrum. I suspect DS will plough on regardless.

weasle - everything more important than money, it all works out one way or another. well, that's what I'm telling myself...

Newmoma what are your questions? will try to help...

Ask away newmoma. Not sure if I can help though, my ds is much older so I have a different experience!

DS is hardly feeding at all just now. I really didn't imagine that he might self wean during pregancy, but now it is looking as though he might. At his age, I am guessing that if the stops for any length of time, then he will lose his latch. I keep telling him it's ok to stop, but it's also ok to keep going!

Hi Girls,
Can I join you?
Am 6 weeks pg and still feeding 8mth old - all sorts of concerns - would you mind if I ask for some advice please?
x

hi weasle thats nice about them playing together, thats what we hope they will do
I tried cows milk at the weekend but she would not drink it so I am trying to get her to drink any other milk at the moment. she drinks water from a cup but takes more milk from the bottle, I'm just doing what I can as she is a bit pale and I feel like my milk is going and I want her to feel satisfied.
Is funny I can't visualise having 2 little ones, but keep looking at people with twin, tandem prams and think they look okay so it must be workable. ds1 will be 11 so not so bad .Only thing is small 2 bed house, but we are working on that problem.

oh, glad to hear i'm not the only one!

jennylee, could you just give your 13mo cows milk in a cup? no need for formula after a year, and cow's milk is cheaper!

i feel totally normal so far, other pregnancies have been awful so i am waiting any moment for the nausea, fatigue and depression to strike, am aware it is still early days.

jennylee, my boys are 21 months apart and now ds2 is 21 months they have such fun together, it is a nice gap, although agree, for the third child you might feel a bit anxious about it all.

am due to restart work in 3 weeks, so they won't be impressed with more mat leave and also i won't get any mat pay so god knows how we will manage...but have always wanted 3dc and am getting on a bit, so that is more important than money or what work think (i keep telling myself!)

Hi weasle & whatinthewhatnow I'm about 5 and a half week pg also and it is also a surprise third child, so am also panicking.
DD drank some formula today just four ounces, an ounce, and then three ounces along with breastfeeds and a bit of food, she hardly eats. It really hurts to latch her on and she seems to be enjoying it less, feeding for shorter periods and my breasts feel empty, I'm gonna slowly keep offering bottles of formula throughout the day and when we are out and breastfeeding when she really wants or needs it, to gradually phase it out, even if it takes a while or if it is fairly quick all the better. you both have a better gap than me - mine is 13months

Hi weasle, similar position to you. am about 6 wks I think although awaiting scan as only had 2 periods 3 weeks apart since DS's birth 18 months ago. aaaanyway... DS still feeds to sleep and feeds throughout the night on and off. Have too read ncss with no success although I suspect my heart wasn't really in it as i had no real reason to think about night weaning. Now I am worried because I really can't contemplate co sleeping with both of them and feeding a newborn and a toddler all night, but I hate the idea of enforcing any kind of change in my DS's feeding because he's always been completely demand fed and I had always hoped he'd self wean. All a bit tricky really!

Blimey, have just tested positive. Probably about 5 weeks as well jennylee. A bit stunned (this will be dc3).

I am BF ds2 who is 20months and still bf to sleep, but often takes ages to settle, i think my supply has dwindled as he feeds less often in last few months. I need some ideas how i am going to get him to go to sleep on his own, as happy to tandem feed if he wants but can't be spending up to an hour every night settling him with a dc3 around too. Am vaguely trying 'gradual retreat' type thing, but not really working. Have read NCSS, no joy.

Off now to contemplate significance of another pg, panicking a bit about how we (I, really) will cope!

thats really sweet, yes I think you are right as she has settled a bit today and a bit happier, I asked my hv and they said they didn't know lol, should have known better than to ask them, thought they would have known about bf

Hi jennylee. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Hard to know if your dd is not so keen to feed because of your pregnancy. Could she be coming down with something? If you get a chance it might be worth having a read of Adventures in Tandem Nursing because there is quite a lot in there about feeding during pregnancy too.

My ds is really hungry all the time at the moment, and I am guessing that because he's not getting much milk at all now (I'm 15 weeks) he is needing to get the calories from food. He has been complaining that my milk is warm and he needs a drink of water after nursing to "get the warm away" LOL, has he just noticed after almost 4yrs that my milk is warm!!

Hi, im 5 weeks pg found out last night as all day yesterday dd fussed and cried and would not nurse properly and when she did is very painful and nipples are bright red and sore that made, me do a pg test. anyway she is pale today was irritable and tired and not bf for long, is this because im pg? so will it continue? I feel bad as i have ruined her milk and she don't like no other drinks very much and hardly eats. she is 13 months. any ideas welcome although i see from this thread the pain looks set to worsen for me

Welcome VillageSlingMummy.

I hope everything goes well for you. Let us know about your new arrival when you get the chance!!

thanks kitkatqueen, i sure hope i pop soon too!!!

Thankyou babieseverywhere

Oooh!! Hope you pop soon VSM!!

i am 41 weeks pg and nursing my 2 yr old

Oops, I forgot to mark this thread.

I am now 14weeks and ds is telling me that there's hardly any milk, but that he will keep trying until the "funny milk" comes in.

We have stuck to no night feeding, and he is doing well with it. He does wake up in the night, but can be comforted back to sleep in seconds. Which is good news for his knackered pg mum!!

I think I will have a bump soon as all my trousers are beginning to strain at the waist a bit. It shouldn't pose any probs though because we rarely feed with him lying across me any more.

Cantsleepwontsleep - I keep too. It was a long wait, but I think it was definitely in ds's best interests.

kitkatqueen, congratulations on the safe arrival of your new baby

Awwwwww, it is so sweet to have tandem nursing newborn and toddler. Sounds like DS is a great big brother and is bonding well with his new sibling

Thankyou.

congratulations kitkatqueen!

Hello, I had my baby on sunday I was really, really worried about how the whole dual feeding would work with my boys and was really worried that it was going to cause jealousy / conflict between them.

I am typing this whilst touching wood!! Once ds1 realised the baby was getting boobie he was less than impressed, when he then realised they could have it together, the baby became his best buddy! When they are both latched on he strokes no4's hair, comes off and says "bubbys turn" kisses him and goes off to play.

He tells his sisters off if they try to cuddle the baby too much says "mine" about the baby and kisses and strokes him all the time.

Its lovely.

Sorry, just wanted to share...

Hi Stealth!! I am in a very similar situation, dc3 is 20 mnths and I am due in 3 days. He has been feeding very randomly and I thought for a while that he was going to quit, but he hasn't and I too have been wondering about the logistics and how much boob time he is going to want once the baby arrives.

I think a special cup for when the babe is feeding is probably the best idea I have heard yet. Knowing my little man if the cup had bob the builder on it it would work

I have heard having special toys/books just for breastfeeding times can be useful for an older sibling, bet a new cup would be a great gift from the baby to his/her older sibling

ooh i wonder...
if i get him a new cup, a special one, and whenever baby feeds he can sit and have milk/ water out of that - might work! Plus I'm hoping to figure out feeding in a sling so hopefully it won't be a big "mummy sit down to feed baby" thing for him anyway

Definitely carry on as we are. Ds already eats very little and would fill up on milk (mine or "Daddy's" - don't worry, it's just semi skimmed ) if I let him. Until he was quite old he fed very regularly - can't go back to that again and I really don't want to. On the other hand, if it was just the first coupld of weeks and then he gets bored and goes back to how he was I could cope if it helped him not feel pushed out...don't suppose you have a crystal ball?

SPB, I found my toddler DD went back to fulltime milk and cut back on her solids to do so. I allowed her to nurse on demand during the day and for my sanity I refused nursing at night (she had already been night weaned for 6 months before baby came along)

That said, I know a RL mum who decided from the off that the older child was going to be limited to a couple a feed a day and managed to stick to that.

What do you think you would prefer to do ?

Just noticed you are pregnant vlc - congratulations
Can I ask a quick tandem feeding question?
DS is 2y3m and baby 2 is due in a couple of weeks. DS has always been a complete milk moster but has gone down now to morning and night, and the occassional middle of the night feed, which I'm happy to continue. he occassionally asks during the day but can usually be distracted and I'd rather have it this way - obviously would still feed if he was really upset or hurt.
When the baby comes, will it be easier to go back to feeding him on demand too? Will he resent the baby having a feed at any time or will he understand that he's a big boy and things are different for him?

I'm 16 weeks now and supply has really dipped. DS says left side is empty and it really is, or occasionally has colostrum. It feels really strange after having had milk there for so long!
He swings from chatting about the baby, saying it can have this side, and he'll have the other, to announcing off his own back that 'I STOP' when the baby's here and 'I have cup milk', to finishing a feed with a stroppy 'i don't want baby'! I think he thinks about it alot, I've told him they can both have milk, but have also been discussing how one day he will stop having it.

Congratulations vlc .

(Still smiling every time I remember that you are pg Mawbroon ).

I hope your discomfort has stopped. I was lucky and I only had limited discomfort early on in pregnancy and the rest of it I was just trying to figure out how to lie toddler DD around my bump

Thanks! I'm nearly 14 weeks too. I feel like my milk has all but disappeared, although babycarrot tells me it's still there. Feeds are very ouchy though. I keep waiting for it to ease off...[hopeful]

Congratulatioms VLC

Welcome to the thread

Hello verylittlecarrot, how many weeks are you? I'm 14 weeks now and doing ok, one sided nursing still going ok too! I've still got milk, but not as much, feeds don't last very long now!

Hello ladies. I'd like to join this lovely thread, as I am now officially outing myself.

Tadaaaa!

How's everyone doing?

Fingers crossed Meanbeansmum!

Thankyou mawbroon. AF is late......sat here gtwiddling my thumbs tryoing not to POAS to avoid disappointment...that and the fact that once I start POAS I won't stop lol.

She'll probably find me in a day or so but living in hope is nice right now lol.

Maygirl, wow that sounds amazing!

sorry for typos, I never proof read, need to train myself to scan before I post lol.

Thankyou mawbroon. AF is late......sat here gtwiddling my thumbs tryoing not to POAS to avoid disappointment...that and the fact that once I start POAS I won't stop lol.

She'll probably find me in a day or so but living in hope is nice right now lol.

Maygirl, wow that sounds amazing!

My DS has weaned off the left side (previously allocated as new baby's side!), which now has salty milk or sticky colostrum. Right side still seems to have normal toddler milk! Wonder if body revving up for tandem nursing!!

Meanbeansmum - I would thoroughly recommend that you read Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler (if you haven't already!)

As I have written a million times on here before, I was having nice regular cycles and signs of ovulation etc, but thanks to that book, I discovered that breastfeeding was making my luteal phase too short for implantation. With this knowledge, I wasn't worried that I didn't conceive in 2.5yrs (apart from a m/c at 6weeks) and I knew that things should go back to normal once ds cut down a bit with his feeding, or stopped altogether.

Had I not known exactly what was going on, I would have been quite worried at my lack of conceiving.

I would also say that it might be different this time round for you, and not to assume that you have to stop altogether to get pg.

My ds is 3.8yo is now down to morning/bedtime/couple of times through the day feeding and it seems that cutting out night feeding in April was enough for me to finally get pg.

Charchar - sympathy on the sore nips. Same here, but DS is being so cute and almost dislocating his jaw with the width he is opening his mouth for me, and that seems to have done the trick. The first few seconds are uncomfortable, but tine after that.

I got my first complaint that my milk didn't taste good.

Thanks BE. The pain isn't too bad today, seems to be fluctuating. Am counting to ten like I did when she was tiny

Mbm - I was convinced I wouldn't get pg, had one period mid October, one end of November (so 45 days later and then was pregnant by early Jan Not sure about the actual statistics but plenty of people seem to do it. You can get ovulation tests on ebay - they are very cheap - I had got some in preparation for the next 'cycle' but didn't need them

Char, Ouch, that sounds painful. Pain whilst nursing and pregnant can differ a lot from mother to mother. Checking her latch and reattaching her sounds useful to try. I had limited soreness at 8 weeks which went away never to return. I hope your pain disappears likewise.

Meanbeansmum, No idea on your fertility but the fact you are "having nice regular cycles, loads of the normal ovulation signs." must be a good sign ? All the best in TTC.

Wow what a lovely thread to read.

I'm not pg or tandem feeding but I'd love to be!

What are the chances of me getting pg while still breastfeeding girls? I'm feeding my 17 month old sometimes once in the day, in the evening and first thing in the morning.

When I tried to conceive DD I had to give up BF ds2 as I just couldn't catch. I gave up when he was 2 years old and 2 months later I was pregnant.

I'm having nice regular cycles, loads of the normal ovulation signs.

Good luck to all pg.

God it hurts to feed DD today, real toe-curling pain. Any tips for easing it off a bit? Have been getting her to open wide but still so sore. Have alternated between shouting, crying and yawning today, not a good start

Wow, that is interesting. I wonder what else hye will notice ?

My DD neither noticed nor mentioned anything to me at the start. Mind you, she was just 16 months old when I got a BFP with my DS.

LOL, DS has me sussed.

him - mummy, is there a baby in your tummy?

me- why do you ask? (hoping to avoid answering)

him - your tummy is reaaaaaaally big.

me - cheers ds

He also said that my "milks" are bigger but I don't think he has connected this to the possibility that I might have a baby in my fat tummy.

They don't miss a thing, do they!? I wouldn't mind, except I'm only 5 weeks!

CharCharGabor, Welcome and congratulations on your pregnancy

Pull a chair up

Hi, anyone mind if I join? Just had a bfp so still early days Nipples are a bit tender when DD latches on and I've got a bit of queasiness but otherwise not too bad.

He was a bit LOL.

You might be lucky and not get sick, I has no sickness with DD just heartburn.

PMSL at some random MNetter's DH being told about mawbroon being pregnant! LOL

I had to have a nap today. I stayed up to watch Andy Murray's game last night and paid for it today! I don't feel too sick yet, but there's still plenty time...........

Congratualations mawbroon

Of course we know who you are, silly.

Must confess, I thought it was you too. I know you have been trying for a while with an older boy nurseling. When you namechanged, I said to my DH that I really hoped it was you.

Plus you mentioned on another thread (I just happened to read, no stalking I promise) that your period was late or cycle was very long or something to that effect

Yep

LOL, was I so obvious?

Congrats
I kind of guessed it was you!!
V happy for you. I'm nearly ten weeks now, DS will be nearly 3.7 when baby born. Still got milk, though think least popular side changing taste and sometimes starts with colostrum, making it even less popular! But he still has both first thing and bedtime when sleepy! He has told me the baby can have his least favourite side, funny, as it looks like that one's revving up for newborn use!

My Wraps are off.

My wraps are coming off soon, once I have told the last of my family that I am pg.

You will all go "who????? never heard of you!"

Ouch, sounds very painful

Atr 13 month old, your child is old enough to be taught nursing manners, Kellymom has a great webpagehere with ideas you can try.

Congratulations on your pregancy

Bump - anyone?

Hi all - haven't read this thread fully yet but was hoping you could all share you're wisdom with me. I'm 11 weeks pregnant and still breastfeeding my 13 months old dd. I'm really struggling at the moment... my breasts are incredibly tender and my nipples are so so sensitive. It's really hurting to feed her - she's taken to biting or even chewing my nipples and if i'm not quick enough she even grabs them and twists!! I really don't know what to do - do i stop feeding her altogether? If it wasn't so painful i'd happily feed her until she self weans.

I think my boobs have grown already, and I am only 4+3

Why can my body not just say "great I already make milk, one less job to worry about"

I suppose that is something that people don't understand that once your nurseling is a toddler there is a lot of emotions involved with nursing.

Weaning a young baby is definately parent led, whereas we are trying to negotiate a balance between our needs and our nursing toddlers.

It isn't easy but you know that, LOL

DD is so tall I have to lie her down to feed otherwise she falls off my lap now DS thinks kicking me in the face is a good way to show his appreciation

DD stopped asking so much when she started nursery perhaps because nursery was on her list of 'big girl things' and nursing wasn't?

Having said, she is now refusing to potty train saying 'I don't want to be a big girl, I want to be a baby again' which I think means she wants to keep on nursing but doesn't want to ask.

I don't want her to be sad. I feel awful if I've made her feel she has to give up or that I expect her too

WMMC, Well I night weaned my toddler ages ago. I also stopped nursing her upstairs and only nursed her on the sofa. It doesn't work. She tells me to sit down and drags the cushion we use around with her, telling me to sit down and give her 'ink. Bless her. I just thought she might be cutting down a bit, but if we are home for the day she could easily have 4/5 feeds. I am not bothered about her nursing at home, I am more worried about how she will cope at nursery in September.

Saying that she is a very confident child, who may well skip off without a backward glance and may not miss/need milk when I am not there. She copes well overnight on an occassion when she stays at her grandparents house and I don't even send EBM !!!

So I am properly worrying for nothing.

Yes, I had a midwife came and close the curtains and asked me if it was true I was still nursing my toddler, whilst in hospital with newborn DS. I said yes and she explained their was a lady in labour in the labour ward and she wanted to 'do the same' and was it wonderful that there was 'two of us'

Made me feel a bit like an exibition at the zoo but she meant well.

My DD was 16 months old when I feel pregnant and I ended up night weaning her, as I was too tired to sit up in her room nursing at night. I agree with WMMC, it is easier once you can explain that they have to wait/share for their milk

LOL at eyes on stalks. Hopefully ds will co-operate. He is so keen, I really would be surprised if he weaned when I was pg, but it's a long way until feb!!

Underwraps - oh it's so much easier when they are old enough to talk about it - DD was still very small when I got pregnant with DS and just didn't understand why mummy was so reluctant to have her sore nipples chewed!

Tis great fun freaking out the midwives by feeding both at once in the postnatal unit. Eyes on stalk territory!

DS and I have been talking about a theoretical younger sibling for ages now. He has declared that he will share his milk with the baby.

"I will have that one, and the baby will have the other one" he says.

If this pg makes it, then ds will be 4years 4 months when it is born. I have no idea if he will have weaned by then or not. In a way, I kind of hope not as I quite fancy tandem nursing.

Ooh well she's only a month younger than yours. We talked about it a lot about her going to preschool and being a big girl and having lunch in her box and milk in her cup and the baby having milk from mummy. But about a month ago she started cutting down and partly it was about me not being upstairs when she woke up. For ever she's been getting into bed with me and nursing, but because DS wakes up at 5am - I am generally downstairs and she quite often forgets to ask when she gets there particularly if I meet her en route and hand her a cup of milk.

My nursing queue is very vocal, toddler jumps up and down and says 'my turn ink. Baby finished now' Despite the evidence to the opposite, looking at happily nursing baby, LOL.

I know what you mean about the milk. I actually had blocked ducts/start of mastists (not sure which) last week after a couple of days of less feeds (children with colds who couldn't breath and nurse at the same time)

What age did your DD start cutting down on feeds ? I ask as my DD is 2.10 and shows no sign of day weaning, I am waiting for her to self wean in her own time.

Isn't it marvelous when a 'queue' of nursling forms. You are feeding one and you just know once one finishes the other is going to want some?

Actually DD is starting to self wean and goes several days a week now without milk, but no more than two days running then demands a lot of milk. My poor boobs don't know what the hell is going on most of the time!

WMMC, Wow, I can't belive we are both still tandem nursing Time sure flies when you are having fun

Congrats underwraps (sounds like a new kind of knicker!)

I fed DD right the way through a very complicated pregnancy following miscarriage and the breastfeeding was the only bit that ran to plan but DS is now 11 months old, I'm still nursing both of them (how did that happen) and it does all work out in the end. Good luck

Ouch, sounds painful, hope you heal quickly. Your DS does sound like a very sweet child

I have just discovered today that the sore nipples are not pg related!! DS must have been dragging on them in the night and he's taken the skin off one of them.

He is so sweet. Mummy, is it this one that's sore? I will be reeeeeeeally careful. He's a wee darling.

As for no idea about the length of nursing...I think I was aiming for a month about 2.9 years ago and now I am tandem nursing !!!

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

I have no idea if you were nursing your son or not at the time of your loss, I just wanted to reassure you that breastfeeding during a normal pregnancy is healthy and does not increase the chance of losing a pregnancy.

Thanks babieseverywhere.

I am not getting too excited about this pregnancy because I miscarried about 18months ago at 6 weeks.

I did manage to read Adventures in Tandem Nursing for the very short time I was pregnant though! Perhaps I should get it out of the library again!

I had no idea that my ds would nurse this long!

UnderWrapsForNow, Congratulation on your BFP and welcome to the thread

I can understand why you wanted to change your name, especially if you know people in RL on here IYSWIM. I won't try and second guess you and I hope noone else would 'out' you even if you did post details

Hope your older nurseling doesn't make things to sore for you. I was lucky to have very little soreness whilst being pregnant whilst nursing.

Tentatively joining. Got a BFP yesterday.

I have changed my name as I am not going public yet, and I don't want to give too many details that will give myself away either!

Not much by way of symptoms, tired and sore nipples so far.

My older nursling is capable of understanding that it's sore and he has to try again, so i think that is the way round it at feeding time.

I will go and read the thread now.

Thanks jumblies

I can't quite believe that my not-so-little baby boy is Ten months old. Oh my, where did the time go ?

We are still tandem nursing and my big girl (2.10 years old) is still as boob obsessed as ever. I wonder if the frequency of her milk feeds will go down when she starts nursery or will she nurse more when she sees me. I reckon the latter but I will wait and see what happens.

It looks like DS is following in DD footsteps. He was away from me for 4 hours whilst me and DH had a date/birthday treat children free time. Whilst with grandparents he was happy and giggly, the moment he saw me he cried and demanded milk...they both did.

My mum was not impressed with me tandem nursing them together in front of her. But they were both tired and needed the comfort. Please with myself that I did not try and justify myself (especially in MY own house) and she started to say something and then stopped herself. Yeah

Thanks babieseverywhere! My breastfeeding cushion is a little saggy so was thinking of upgrading to a twins nursing pillow...is that a little ott

It sounds like tandem nursing is going really well for you. I hope that I will be able to type a similar post in a year's time

How is everyone doing? Fifi is 5 months on Tuesday - where does the time go?!?! - and we're still going strong! I'm trying to get Tink to feed more often because we don't have a routine with it, I'd like to at least put her to bed with a feed.

I've been asked to be a delegate at a day conference for my H in a few weeks so I'm currently expressing, expressing, expressing! I think have about two bottles worth, I'm going to be away for about 20 hours so think I need more than that! She'll probably be about 11lb at the time, max.

Congratulations jumblies

I won a new nursing cushion just before my second child was born. At first I tried to use the right cushion with the right child. I gave that up by day 3, too much other stuff to worry about. I just used the new cushion with both.

I liked my new cushion as it was big enough for me to use when I nurse them together and I still use it at home now.

HTH

Can I join please? Am newly pregnant (well 10 weeks) and have DD of 20 months. So far she shows no sign of giving up any time soon which I'm fine with.

My nipples are in agony though, it feels like crocodille clips have been attached to them whenever she latches on. Hopefully it will get better in time

Wish I knew ppl in real life who had gone down this route, it can get lonely being the only breastfeeder in a group and now potentially the only tandem feeder.

Quick question - I still sometimes use my breastfeeding cushion with DD. Do you think I should get a new one for the baby so that DD doesn't get jealous of 'her' cushion being used?

Congratulations to maygirl and mrsjammi

Joining too, just found out expecting DC2, DS1 is 2.9, and this last week has also been in a nursing frenzy, just like your DS MrsJammi! He already fed 4-5 times a day as it was! Interested to see what happens, will he wean as milk supply drops or keep going strong, will we or won't we be tandem nursing... He'll be 3.5 when DC2 arrives.

Hello I have come to join you.

This is a long thread, I have just found out I am pregnant and am nursing my 14 month old, I am convinced he knows something is up as he is nursing like mad at the moment and is super clingy.

Well start reading this thread now.

the thing I'm finding hard atm is the erratic nursing of my older nursling, and my body's desperate attempts to regulate supply. so if we have a LOT of nursing one day, I am leaking for England the next (I would just go and offer my services in a scbu if I thought elf'n'safety would allow volunteer wet nursing on a irregular basis!)

I am convinced that DS knew before I did. A few days before I tested he started going into a boobie frenzy. He was feeding constantly and I know that my supply was ample (nappies alone show that!) Anybody else get this?

Ha ha, Babies!! It didn't take long!!!

Welcome mrsgamp, flipping heck, I wonder how it is possible to juggle three nurselings !!!

Congratulations not only on your new pregnancy but in finding time to make said baby with two toddlers on the premises

I really must be a freak(!) - I am sixteen weeks pregnant and tandem-feeding my DD,3.5 and DS,18 months!! I have no plans to stop (despite recent agony!) and neither do my children, who would be at the breast most of the day if possible! (despite milk having dried up considerably).

Thanks! Hello all...am 11 weeks pg and still BF DS who is 13 months. Apparently I am a freak.

Bump for turtle23

ommmwardandupward, good on you

We are still tandem nursing, 9 month old DS day and night and 2.9 year old DD during the day

DD still has a fair few feeds usually around 5 a day !!! So does DS but that is expected.

I am interested in how many feeds other toddlers of nearly three have ?

bump!

Still tandemming here I must be producing gallons a day [smug]

Bump for pregnant nursing mums and tandem nursers.

Welcome mama2leah and congatulations on your pregnancy

Being pregnant with an 8 month old baby sounds very tiring. It must be difficult for your DH to watch you struggle but on the other hand it is up to you how long you nurse for and I hope he understands that.

As for your current pain and discomfort, I hope it is temporary but it is impossible to say over the net.

It could be the pregnancy making you tender or your baby's latch or some health problem or nothing. What do you think ?

On the bright side, hopefully you'll find breastfeeding easier than you did the first time

helloooooooooooo
i need alot of support right now, im struggling to feed my 8 month old..and im 20 weeks pregnant, i love breastfeeding, and it was really difficult in the beginning..i feel like im struggling again, as its really painful and i think my dd is slow self weaning herself...
my dh wants me to only feed til a yr, as he says i need a break, he is totally supportive of bf, but i think he cant see me exhuatsed and in pain....

plz tel me it gets easier...

Another bump...Tink and I know you pregnant ladies and tandem feeders are out there !!!

Where is everyone? I know there are a few Fab Febbers who should be here!

2y8m and 10 weeks!

Another bump for this thread...we are still nursing at 2.7 and 7 months respectively.

Ah yes I think you're right. Everything pre-2009 seems a million years ago!

Tink, We didn't think about stopping tandeming, so far it has been pretty straight forward for us...wasn't it CSWS thinking about stopping ?

Do I remember right that at one point you though you were giving up tandeming? Well done!

Things are getting better here, I was getting very stressed but feeling so much better now that I can see she's doing well.

We are still tandem nursing, DD 2.6 and DS 6 months. Things are going very well

How are you all?

It must be confusing for them because it is a biting motion that they do to suckle so when we say "no biting" they don't realise the difference. I talk to Tink about how she feeds, I tell her what Fifi is doing (she keeps pulling her tongue back so I get bit) and say that she has to put her tongue over her teeth so that Mummy doesn't get bit.

tink, ds does that.... he tries to bite and i tell him off and then he won't suck and gets cross that no milk comes out [sigh]

the annoying thing is after months of not really enjoying him feeding and him wanting to every night when i was in agony, now that i want him to feed in the hope it'll help kickstart labour he won't!!!!

I know, one day I asked if she wanted me-me as I was in so much pain, when I felt better I asked if she wanted to swap! The problem I have at the moment is I've told her that she's to stop biting and she doesn't seem to understand that what she's supposed to do is OK and not biting so she doesn't often latch on properly! I can't win

Oh, but TBMandFF2 the engorgement relief!!! I am just feeling so damn smug that whenever I am getting that horrid distended leaky feeling (one week post partum) I can just invite the older nursling to help clear it. Win win

Stretch, you would probably be feeling like that if you weren't pregnant because your body will becoming more efficient.

My worry has come true! Tink has discovered that Me-Me is available on tap!! Everytime I'm feeding Fifi she is asking for it, she got in bed with me this morning (me topless, Fifi asleep) and latched on without saying anything (I guessed it was coming fortunately) and she's getting upset if I say no but Fifi isn't good enough yet for me to do it one handed, she needs too much help and Tink gets in the way

Fifi is driving me mad too, she loves to suck. I know comfort sucking is just as important but she likes to have something in her mouth all the time! She will suck her thumb but hasn't got the coordination to do it all the time, she'll take a little finger too. If I put her on the breast (when she's just sucking) though she messes about and I end up sore. Her latch still isn't great and she takes a couple of attempts, I end up having to dry my nipple a couple of times because I got so slippy she can't stay on.

I keep thinking she's six weeks tomorrow, hopefully things should start to get better!

Hi, DS1 is now 19mo and DS2 is 4.5mo. When I was preg with DS2 every time I fed I vomited - not fun in the wee hours. And it was excrutiating from about 6 weeks until the day I had him - but I had vasospasm for about 3 months the first time so thought it was something to do with that initially.

I love that I am still feeding both my boys, DS1 doesn't eat much food and is 2hrly in the day if he can! He ate heaps while
I was preg, but as soon as that supply whipped back up food was out and boob was in

We are thinking of trying again in three or four months so will be watching this thread!

Hi,
I'm 8 weeks pregnant and have a 22 week old DS (Whoops!) I'm really keen to continue to breastfeed as long as possible but am really concerned about my milk supply reducing. Am feeling really guilty for letting him down.

Have been trying to do lots of research into breastfeeding whilst pregnant but can only seem to find information and anecdotes from (more responsible?!!)people who have continued breastfeeding much older babies (ie. those who are getting other forms of nourishment as well as BM)

Is it inevitable that my supply will reduce? Any tips? My DS has been slow to gain weight and I've been feeding him 3 hourly, day and night, for the last 2 months on the advice of my breastfeeding midwife. He finishes feeding very quickly and often fights and squirms during feeding. I'm concrned that my milk is not enough for him already.

Advice appreciated. Thanks

when nursing 4, eldest was just over 4 1/2 years, second eldest 3 1/2, next one was 14 1/2 months, they didn't feed every day. but when pregnant with third, eldest fed 20 times at night, that was too much!

have been keeping away as ds hadn't nursed since before xmas but he had a feed yesterday morning totally out of the blue so i guess i'm still preganant and nursing, lol!

be intersting to see what he does when baby arrives, i'm 39 weeks now so not long til we find out

stretch, all of what you describe happens even when you're not preg. as the baby gets older your boobs go quite soft and there's very little sensation of milk and it often seems like the baby isn't actually getting anything. it's just your body becoming efficient at feeding and really isn't anything to worry about, if he wasn't getting milk he'd let you know by unlatching and screaming in frustration, if he's contentedly nursing then all is well

Buuuuuump!!!

Anyone??

Help!

Is it possible for my milk to be drying up?

I am 7 weeks pg, ds is 8 1/2 months and blw. My boobs feel deflated and I am no longer getting let-down when he feeds. Also, I used to be able to squirt milk out, but now it doesn't squirt, IYSWIM??

Does he need more milk, formula? He's not really taking in loads of food, but does pretty well.

Have no one else to ask as HV is a bit useless.

Hther, Wow...how many nurselings !!!

Tell me more..how old were they (when you were nursing 4) and how often did they nurse and how did you cope/feel it went ?

i fed four for 2 weeks then other 3 stopped all at the same time, then eldest two started again so apart from short break after last baby was born have tandem fed for nearly 4 years

haven't had time to read whole thread but hope i can offer some support as i'm pretty experienced

I don't know whether this was advisable or not but I tried 1 thing which helped a bit with dd1.

I would let her feed until I got letdown and then I would take her off and let it flow into a sterile cup. Once it had slowed a bit and I could stop it easily with a flat hand I would put her back on to finish the feed. She had to work for it a bit more but I got bitten a lot less. I froze the milk I had saved for later/ emergency. at the time she was putting on about a pound a week so I don't think i shorted her any. Once she got a bit bigger the problem went away.

Don't know if this helps any?
KKQ x

When she was about 10 months old she started biting and I would cry through feeds, I cut them right back and would stop when I couldn't handle anymore. About 14 months old we noticed that she bit the straw on her flask as it came too fast and started pinching it for her. Miracle cure, she stopped biting me too! I think it's something similar, only this time it's me not the straw that's too fast and I can't pinch myself to stop it (oh how I wish I could! I'm changing my clothes three times a day!)

Hi Tbm&ff2,

Ouch!! I just really winced reading your post - it reminded me of dd1 (SHUDDER!!) My let down was way too fierce for her to cope with and I got chewed to bits too. Hope the biting doesn't last long!!

KKQ x

I let this thread slip off my recent posts.

Thank you stretch, I hope we get to talk to you more over the next 7 months and that everything goes well for you.

There is an example policy on the Baby Friendly website about co-sleeping and it is far from how I was treated, sounds the same as for you BabiesEverywhere.

I can’t believe your little one is five months it’s gone quickly. I’m sure you’re right that the behaviour is just about having a baby in the house most kids go through it. Tink though is being amazing! She’s even pushing on with the potty training, which my parents have hung back on because of the baby coming. I think she will be out of nappies quite quickly, although her constipation could be a problem with it. Her sleeping has been bad but I think it’s more to do with her snottiness. Her paediatrician wants an ENT surgeon to check her out to see if she needs her adenoids removing.

O&U, Jennifer is one of us, just doesn’t post a lot. I had those sorts of pains too, like everything sparking into life again.

Congrats Stealth and welcome to the group. I did find it all got better as I got further through, early on I felt like I had chomp bruises. I posted on a breastfeeding group on FB asking for advice, didn’t get back for a couple of days and found lots of “congratulations you’re pregnant” posts and I had just found out while I was offline I was too!

To those who are already tandeming, did you find a difference in your milk right before the baby was born? The morning I went into labour I gave Tink a feed, she was on for ages with her eyes rolled and went milk-drunk, she’s not done that in a long time!

I’m not feeding Tink every day, it tends to be distraction mainly at the moment. Sîan is still difficult to latch and being so tiny (4lb 13oz yesterday) I have to put more effort into holding her, she’s still feeding a lot so I don’t have the spare time to feed Tink much. However, as she’s lived with my parents for the last three months she’s used to not having her feeds everyday. I think she’s suffering from my amazing letdown (half the problem with Sîan’s feeding is my letdown is so good she doesn’t need to latch, I leak enough to sustain her!) because she bites like mad when feeding

Am v impressed by all you happy tandem feeders.

Hi I'm bfing 14month old and nearly 12wks pg and I really, really want her to sleep all night as I am just totally shattered. I feel like giving up bfeeding at the moment as everyone has a funny smell which turns my stomach (even DD), she is feeding a LOT, and is especially keen at night, and I am just not enjoying the whole thing.
We usually sleep in separate rooms but last weekend we had a friend to stay and we slept in her room, and she was up non-stop from 1-5 wanting to suckle to sleep!
Shall I give up or carry on? (BTW she is probably still allergic to dairy- a good reason to carry on I suppose.....)

No pain for me in middle trimester. First and third harder going.

Idon'tbelieveit, Yeah the end is within sight All the best with your C-section next week. I also found it very painful to establish breastfeeding with DC1 and this time around with DC2it was nearly perfectly straight forward. I hope you find it as easy and pain free

Lucky you BE, i think the worst bit was around the 6 month mark where i had nothing left but now my milk seems to have come back and it's nowhere near as bad as it was but after a pain free 2 years (apart from the initial establishing bf nightmares) it's been a hard slog to keep going.
Only 1 more week until i'm tandem feeding, got my cs next monday[scared and excited emoticon]

don't think I'm at 8 weeks yet! TBH it;'s not that bad, if it stays like this then fine, but I just don't want it to get worse
Thanks

Stealth, Just to add another experience...I only had a few days of soreness at the 8 week mark and the rest of my pregnancy I was pain free

thanks! and thanks for answering my question

SPB - to answer your question: YES! (sorry). I have found it painful for the whole of pregnancy, it's not as bad now as it was at the beginning though. Welcome to the thread and congrats!

Can I join in? ONly newly pregnant but nipples already sore when feeding - does it just stay like this all the way through?

Hiya onwardandupward, I think you are propably spot on. I actually feel as though I have no milk at all. Firm headlock was excellent advice, much less biting today. He must be getting somthing because he is happy to feed for an hour at a time.

Also in your post to JT you just reminded me of my least favourite part of breastfeeding - The engorgment. I am now putting more ticks in the pro box for tandem feeding.

Thanks for the advice

KKQx

Hello kitkatqueen - maybe you have less milk than usual, and that's why the feeds are taking ages? Can you offer milk on demand and then when he's had a set time you tell yourself in advance, offer food/water (offering more breast if he's adamant that that's what he wants). Keeping him in a firm headlock - I mean it, but not in a way that will hurt him! - mighthelp avoid pulling and chewing on your nipple - keep him really pushed well onto the breast. I wouldn't be trying to wean him this young, just take the nursing as a chance for a sit down, like idbi says.

And hello jenniferturkington - are you a January antenatal thread lady, not a fab febber? Lots of us fab febbers are over heer on the tandem thread, in one of those statistical freaks. sorry it's hurting you. Maybe you are relactating - I remember from first pregnancy having those shooting lactation pains in the last weeks of pregnancy, so maybe your body is doing a bit of that? (there's a lovely analogy in the Adventures in tandem Nursing book about how with a newborn, your breasts are like Spring, with lots of little new shoots. And then by the time your baby is 6 months old and exclusively nrusing still, your breasts are like summer, in full leaf. And from then on, it is like autumn, with some of the leaves gradually falling away, until either you stop nursing entirely (winter) or you get pregnant, and your body lurches from autumn to Spring without having winter in the middle. So relactation is definitely possible).

You could always look at the discomfort now with a slightly longer term view - in something between a fortnight and 4 weeks from now, your milk is REALLY going to come in, but instead of getting engorged, you have a 19 month old all ready to relive you of the necessity of using cabbage leaves and whatever else we all get told to relieve the discomfort with

Hi,
think I also posted much earlier in this thread! Anyway, am now 37 weeks pg, DS is 19 months. I had hoped he would self wean (never really thought he would though) during pregnancy, but he hasn't. He is feeding twice in 24 hours (bed time and first thing), and if he wakes in the night I will still use it to settle him.
The past 24 hours something has happened- it really hurts to feed him- just like in the very early days, the old toe curling latch and feed through gritted teeth routine. Just wondering if anyone has any experience of this? Milk doesn't appear to have changed yet. The thought of carrying on feeding him like this and then adding a newborn feeding for hours on end is a touch daunting! Equally I realise it is now too late to wean him before baby arrives! Help!

can't offer much advice i'm afraid as i'm only on number 2 now!
I wuld say though that dd feeding again in the day gives me a much needed break now i'm heavily pregnant and if you're feeding number 4 and number 3 wants to help themselves it shouldn't really take up any more time, just feed them at the same time! i'm sure someone with more children will be along with some better advice though.

Hiya,

I feel I am in a dilemma - DD(no1) was 13months when she self weaned - I was 3 months preg with no 2 and I had reverted to colostrum, she didn't like it and that was that. DD2 then self weaned at 18mnths, I then discovered I was already pregs with no3. He is now 12 months and I am 9 weeks pregs with no 4. I did inadvertantly feed DD2 one night when she was nearly 3 because she was crying at night and I was half asleep.

I just have this feeling in my gut that he is not going to stop, he is biting with every feed which can now take up to an hour!!

I don't want to wean him off - but do I want to tandem?

How am I going to fit feeding both of them into a family of 6 where I am doing all the school runs and everything else?

Please someone tell me how to juggle this, I really need advice...

hi all, am 38 weeks on mon and have dd 2,7 who is still bfing.
I think i've posted on this thread before but right near the beginning.
BE - am worried about dd regressing with the nappies, her mattress arrives for her big girl bed on tues but i'm wondering if we should leave things as they are with the cot in her own room for another couple of months now....
She went from feeding once a week before christmas to feeding every day for the last 2 weeks, i guess my milk must have come in. i was quite relieved when i thought she had stopped but it looks like i'll be tandem feeding after all.

Oh BE I can relate to some of that. We've had poos on the floor and smeared all over the bathroom and bedroom this week , as well as lots of refusals to go to bed and getting up in the night (dd 2.11).

Congratulations Stretch All the best with breastfeeding through your pregnancy. Keep us posted.

Tink, We had a couple of run-in's with the nice midwives, as I kept falling asleep with DS in bed AND we were lying down nursing on the side the side cot was on so he wouldn't of gone anywhere

We were lucky that at my hospital they did provide a small plastic side car cot which they attached to the side of my bed, handy for being close to baby after a C section

Update on us, we are still tandem nursing with 5 month old DS and 2.5 year old DD. Things are going relatively well, except DD has regressed re being dry and clean for over a year to being clean and using nappies (!!!) for wee on purpose. Plus despite being in her own room and own bed for over a year, she is back with us and the baby.

Argghh. I don't think these things are linked to breastfeeding, more the arrival of her little brother. This too will pass

Hi all!! Glad I found this, it will be very useful!

Just found out I am expecting number 4! I'm still bf DS, he's 8 months and I'm 5 weeks pregnant.

Congratulations TinkerBellesmum!! Gorgeous name!!

Tell me about it! I kept thinking how Sîan is noty much bigger than GTink was, then Tink came into the Unit and looked massive! It was strange nursing her too - but nice that she didn't need any help so I could forget about her and go to sleep!

If I report them it will be to my trainer so easily done. I may also bring it up at the breastfeeding group I used to go to - I may not be having any problems but I'd rather have the back up if I do, rather than getting stressed over a HV giving me bad advice - they train the nurses/MWs at the hospital so they may be able to do something about it (they used to ask me about the advice I was given when I mentioned someone's name that they knew) one of them works there too.

It's not just standing their ground, it's about an understanding (as far as co-sleeping is concerned) of why they say no, that it's a hospital thing but safe at home.

The thing is though, if I hadn't had her in with me I wouldn't have slept. She woke and rooted as soon as she was put down, so if I had put her down at the end of a feed I would have had to pick her straight up and fed her (no sleeping during the feed). By letting her stay with me we both got to get some sleep. I'm sure that was safer than not getting any sleep at all.

Congratulations TBM&FF2 .

Have you had that feeling yet hwere you look at your toddler and it's like breastfeeding a giant because the new baby seems so tiny in comparison ?

Definitely let the local breastfeeding people know when you get the chance, as not everyone will have the knowledge to stand their ground like you did.

Sorry that should have said "O&U and BabiesEverywhere"

Aww thanks O&U!

I did my first nurse of Tink last night, she wouldn't settle and wanted to go downstairs at some stupid hour, so I offered her me-me. I felt like my breast was going to come out my nipple! I'm not sure what she was doing and she didn't like me stopping her a couple of times.

We ended up four in a bed last night and playing musical beds when Sîan needed a feed or Tink was kicking the blankets off... Mum has told me off this morning for co-sleeping. I think she is confused by a couple of things. A baby that her office was dealing with died of suffocation from co-sleeping and the mother hung herself She was told by a nurse that all the nurses were complaining I was falling asleep with Sîan in bed with me (I'll come back to this point). I tried to explain that it's the safest place for baby to sleep if you follow the guidelines but she doesn't accept that there are guidelines "The NHS doesn't have any" (I'm trained as a peer supporter by the NHS so I know that the NHS does have a policy).

Anyway, to come back to that point. I'm really cross with the hospital, they have baby friendly status but I have had a nurse asking why I'm not giving a dummy (in a telling not asking way) and I've had them constantly telling me off for co-sleeping. On one hand I understand that co-sleeping in hospital is probably a little riskier, you have a single bed and a hard floor, if anything happens the hospital would be in trouble, OTOH part of Baby Friendly status means they're supposed to support co-sleeping. I'm thinking of telling the PCT Breastfeeding Department.

Tink, great to hear from you and it sounds like everything is going well with both your girls

Congratulations on the safe arrival of little Sian

aaand she's back. We've missed you TBMaFF2

Hi all.

Sîan was born 2/1/09 at 3:44am, 35+5 weeks, 4lb 8oz. She went to NNU because she was grunting (whatever that means) and there wasn't a bed for a baby her size anywhere else.

Tink has taken really well to her. I was worried about nursing in front of her so first time Mum took her to the shop, the second time Mum said "she has to get used to it sometime", yes but I had hoped she would be used to Sîan first! She surprised me because she went from not going anywhere near her to wanting to sit on the bed next to me and stick stickers all over her sister! I think the conversations about how FiFi will want Me-Me too and she has to show her how to do it as the big sister have paid off!

Cantsleep - dd2 is in bed with me, and dd1 is in a cot in the same room, so I did think maybe she was a bit jealous of that. Thank goodness she hasn't tried it at 3.30 yet.

She's quite funny in that sometimes she'll pull my top back down after dd2 has finished if I haven't done it yet and says it's to stop her just helping herself!

She asks a lot too but I just explain how dd2 can only have milk whereas she can have lots of lovely things like chocolate. She loves it so much I wonder when on earth she'll ever decide to stop.

Hi splishsplosh - my dd has been getting up at 3:30am (and other random times) to ask for milk. I think she's a bit jealous that ds sleeps with us and has milk during the night.
Her daytime requests have got quite ridiculous too (we were just doing one daytime feed most but not every day before, plus first thing and last thing), so I've now told her that she doesn't need all of this milk just because ds has it, and that she can have it first thing and last thing only. We've stuck with it for a few days now, and her daytime requests have lessened thankfully, so I think she realises that I mean business! Her first thing and last thing feeds are very long though, as she excitedly tells me that she wants lots and lots and lots and lots!

ooo, what a fab thread. i have an 8month old and am 10weeks pregnant. was planning on BF for at least a year so may or may not be an overlap but will be interesting to see what he does when newborn is feeding. not done too much research into tandem feeding yet but am prepared to do it if i'm still feeding him at that stage. am very much a 'if you tell me what to do, i'll do the opposite' person, so if enough midwives and health visitors suggest i start bottle feeding, i'll definately be tandem feeding!

Congratulations to TBM

dd2 is 3.5months now, and it's going well.
dd1, who's nearly 3 is getting a bit more demanding about milk though. Last few mornings she's woken up before 7 saying she wants milk. I try and say it's a bit too early to get up, then she starts shouyting I want milk now, until baby wakes... v upsetting! She also asks for it more (i just stick to first thing and bedtime, except when she was ill a few weeks ago and not wanting to eat).

Lovely news. Congrats to TBM .

Big congratulations to TBM and her new baby

just thought i'd pop on to say TBM had her baby girl

she's not gotton online to give many details yet but both doing ok

Tenderness was much much less for me in the second trimester, but I have to confess that it's getting worse again as my due date approaches...

Per my last post, do I just need to grit my teeth and remember that this too will pass?

I fed all through my last preg,my daughter stopped just before the baby was born and now I wish I had encouraged her more to tandem feed but she was two and four months and insisted she was a "big girl"
I found my nipples were very tender for the first trimester,easier after that.I think my supply did dip too as I got bitten a few times and looking back I think that was why.Am really glad I fed for so long though.

I wonder if anyone can help me with this. I tried explaining to DS 2.7 that my 'drinks' are sore and we need to cut down a bit. I set a timer which seemed to be working but now he thinks it's his fault that I'm sore and that he's hurting me which is understandably upsetting him.

I've said they are just poorly and it's not his fault but I don't think he's reassured. I'm 10 weeks' pg and really sore. Just had enough really but I know I won't do anything about it (he will self-wean one day).

Just wondering if there's anything I can do to reassure him and get through the next few weeks when I hope the soreness settles down. Must admit, the soreness was even worse in my last pg (had mmc in July) so I should be glad it's not that bad but need some light at the end of the tunnel if anyone's got any, thanks.

I do do them together sometimes, but I try to limit dd's feeding time during the day, so don't want her thinking it's easy . It's actually not v easy as I seem to need 2 hands to get a good latch with ds (huge norks) .

CantSleepWontSleep, Have you tried nursing them together ?

I find a big long pillow is helpful and I place toddler under one arm and the baby under the other in the rugby ball position. I latch the baby on first before letting the toddler latch herself.

IMO it is worth learning to nurse them together for peace in the afternoon, early evening when they are both either tired, hungry or whingy.

empathies wmmc. I don't manage to finish feeding ds (12 wks tomorrow) before dd (2.10 yrs) is trying to jump up for a feed. Sometimes I have to take ds off to give dd a bit and then put ds back on to finish in peace.

With you on the reduction in solids too BE.

Ds thriving though .

OP, I could have written this - I really, almost, kind of, want to stop now before our next baby arrives...but prob won't!

(((whomovedmychocolate))) It is hard to nurse two children with such different needs, as a toddler and a baby without one or the other feeling left out. Be proud that you are doing such a loving thing for your children.

My big girl (2.4 years old)has after being clean and dry for over a year has demanded nappies to wee in (still poo's on the toilet thank goodness), has reduced solid food intake (a lot) and increase the milk quota, since her brother arrived.

My tandem baby boy (4 months) is thriving and massive despite sharing the milk, attention etc.

DD has decided on a vocal name for breastmilk (she usually signs 'milk') Mummy's juice and shouted for it, aptly in the middle of the juice aisle so noone else really 'got it' LOL

Hi everyone! I can officially join your group again as ds has decided he wants milkies again! Not sure if he's getting anything - dc2 is due end of Feb and I can only squeeze drops of colustrum out, but he seems happy so it's all ok.

Hope everyone had a good Christmas/Yule/festive time (or whatever you want to call it!) and we all meet our babies soon! (Not too soon TBM )

You poor thing, WMMC, as much for the WD40 as for the big girl stuff. I'm sure you can reassure her massively about how she's allowed to not wear nappies/go to nursery AND have breast milk.

It's all getting a bit close for us Feb due date girls, isn't it? eep! Am trying to prepare myself for possible negative emotions about nursing a larger child with a tiny baby attached as well.

I bet you anything your ds turns into a nurse-a-holic once the baby arrive, pink.

And Grendle - that Annie Kubler book is a hit! It has just the right proportion of pages with older child doing special things with parents versus baby doing things versus baby on the breast. Just wonderful.

he was only having a feed before bed as it was, occasionally he'd ask in the morning but not often.

i offered for the first few nights and he said he didn't want it so haven't offered since then.

PT, when I was in Liverpool Tink went two weeks without a feed, as soon as I got back (and she realised I really was her Mummy) she pushed me onto the sofa and undressed me!

Have you offered or are you doing don't offer don't refuse?

funnily enough ds throws a strop if you call him anything other than 'baby' atm.... even his name is unacceptable and he's walking around saying 'goo goo gaa gaa' to remind us 24/7. he's 2.5!

i don't mind too much, i'm hoping if he doesn't feel pressured into being a 'big boy' he won't be as upset about the baby taking alot of my attention.

sorry your ds is sick WMMC, poor wee thing. you must be shattered feeding the 2 of them on demand, do you have much support?

If I asked my DH to clear a blocked duct, he'd turn up with a pipe cleaner and WD40 so I'd best not ask

PinkPoinsettias - sorry to hear your DS has stopped. But these things are always a bit fluid, as you say he might come back to you.

DD tonight asked me if babies could go to school. I said no, only big girls and boys go to school. She's started saying 'oh dear' and when I finally got to the bottom of it (she's only 2 so her speech is interesting) she is worried that if she grows up and does big girl things, she can't have mummy milk anymore and that's why she doesn't want to go to nursery anymore or wear her big girl pants. Am mortified that she feels so pressured to grow up.

DS has had a tummy upset for 10 days and we are doing stool cultures So he's nursing every 90 minutes round the clock to keep his fluids up

It's very hard work nursing two. I didn't realise quite how hard sometimes. Some days it just feels like I put one child down and the next crawls into my lap and asks for milk.

hello all, lost this thread for a while and i think i may have found it too late.

ds has't nursed since before xmas

he's never gone longer than 2 days before so think this may be the end... wil see what happens over the next few weeks.... dc3 due in 5 weeks so he may start up again then... who knows...

I think I must be getting milk because this morning Tink was attached for about half an hour and she had that eyes back, drunk look to her that I've not seen in awhile. I'm suffering for it now though, my bump has been rock hard since!

just a random bump

I had a huge crisis of confidence with dd and was very anxious. Hence went to a bf drop-in when she was under 6hrs old (they thought we were mad!). We've had a few ups and downs, but in the main it's been total plain sailing compared with first time . From dd's point of view tandem feeding has been nothing but helpful.

Tink's 29 months. I'm not too worried about her, (as long as she doesn't think it's fun to be on as much as the baby!) I'm just doing the standard pregnant woman worrying about if she will be able to feed her baby! I promised myself I have the self confidence not to worry about breastfeeding in future and it's my mission to make sure my daughters grow up with enough confidence too, but I guess it's in built

I just ordered the Annie Kubler new baby book. Thank you for the recommendation!

when, not wen... d'oh

In the early days, most mums choose to feed the new baby first to ensure they get what they need, especially before their milk comes in. Wen there's tonnes of milk everywhere, then it can sometimes be a good idea to feed toddler first then baby, so that baby gets the fattier milk and doesn't just fill up on the high volume first milk.

Each baby is different and as with the first one, sometimes it can take a little while to get bf fine-tuned. Of course you have lots of experience and a toddler to help you ensure you have an ample supply, but don't be afraid to seek help and support if you need it.

Some toddlers do ask for milk more often, and some mums agree... others don't. With toddlers you can sometimes negotiate and set rules. It can be a really good idea to talk to them in advance about all tis, and read books etc. How old is Tink? We had some lovely picture books by Annie Kubler with no words, so I could make up the story at the right level to suit ds. Dropping in parts about babies only eating milk and not being able to enjoy blueberries like him and how babies feed lots and lots etc.

Thanks O&U!

I'm boggling at DHs clearing ducts! I can't imagine TBD doing that, I'll stick with Tink

Apparently my milk is nice, she won't share (conversation with Nanny during her last feed or should I say Nanny teasing her with questions - "can I have some?" - and Tink shaking or nodding her head) and I think it's on par with tea (she drinks it like it's going out of fashion) as she will abandon either "me-me" or tea for the other.

She nearly got murdered tonight, she decided to play peepo with my nipple and top, then with my top down she pinched my nipple so hard Mum told my sister she'd just bitten me - I think it actually hurt more!

Someone saw me feeding Tink the other day and asked what I'll do when I have a baby too, I pointed out that I do have two breasts!

I have been wondering about what if there's problems getting the second one on? I'm hoping I'm more equipped to deal with problems this time but my worst fear is not being able to feed the baby but still having Tink on the breast! I'm also worrying that it will remind Tink that milk is there available 24/7 and start asking for it more often.

I've often heard of a Dh clearing a blocked duct

But I would not be bendy enough to even consider unblocking my own *eases cricked neck*

Toddlers are fantastic for clearing blocked ducts IME .

Mind you, I came across an unusual discussion about blockages the other day where one lady admitted her dh clears hers, and another says she can do it herself !

It is hard work through pregnancy, isn't it?

I'm just banking on the older child being able to help regulate my supply when the baby arrives, and obviously use their superior suckling powers to clear any blocked ducts in moments

Hello

I've been tandem feeding for just over 16 months now with ds (3.5 years). He was fed on cue except 3 days a week I worked, right up until 12 weeks of pregnancy. At that stage the tiredness and sore nipples became too much for me so he was night weaned with lots of help from DH. After that he quickly dropped his afternoon and bedtime feeds too, so by the time he was 2 years he was just on one morning feed a day. After dd was born he gradually upped his feeds to about 4 a day at one stage. Once he was 3 years we cut that down again by agreement to just one a day, and now it's not every day. I'm kind of hoping he'll stop at his birthday and we talk about that a lot.

Bf while pregnant was actually really rough, and while I wouldn't swap dd, I wouldn't choose a 2 year gap again for that very reason.

Tandem feeding in the early days helped my milk to come in very very quickly and ensured an ample supply, which was a real boon after having major probs with ds. A tone stage I donated to a local bank too.

Still not had a period since dd, thankfully .

Just bumping because, well, some of us pregnant ladies are getting closer to tandem reality, and I had completely lost this thread (lost the thread too, but that's another matter...)

Wow whomoved, I'm already a H (although think I'm getting closer to a J now) I was an F before Tink. I dread to think what will happen when the baby comes! I like your HV, she must have a sense of humour you'll end up very lopsided if you do that!

No advice for supply, ready, but I did find things got better as I've got further through. The first 12 weeks were the hardest.

Oh, I've jsut found this thread and am after the benefit of your experience.

I am about 8 weeks pregnant and want to carry on breastfeding my 8 month old (he has 4 feeds - first thing, mid morning, afternoon and before bed). The problem is my supply seems to be dropping massively each day. Poor DS is sucking away for ages but barely swallowing so I am pretty sure it is drying up.

ANyone have any ideas of how I can boost my supply again. Am drinking loads of water and trying to rest as much as is possible with an 8 month old but not sure what else I can try. Is fenugreek OK to take when pregnant?

Thanks

I only just found this. Tandem feeding a four month old and 2.1 year old. Boobs have gone from a 34dd to a 32K

Our HV suggested we assign one boob to each child to 'prevent the spread of infection'

Hello, just popped in to say dd2 is now 8 weeks. I'm still feeding dd1 (2+10) just first and last thing, though she sometimes asks for it at other times.

I haven't mastered boith at the same time - find it really uncomfortable and stressful so usually keep swapping them about.

Hv did suggest stopping feeding dd1 for some reason or other - I think because dd2 was only just on birth weight at 10 days.

Glad everyone's doing ok.

Yes, I'm still pregnant! 29+2 now, so doing really well, I'm hoping for a number starting with 3 so if I can get past Sunday I will be really happy!

They're starting to monitor me because of the notch (5 weeks after finding it!) and the baby is still less than 10th %ile, so there's a possibility they won't want her to go the whole way anyway. Going to be a competition between the baby and the hospital to see who holds out the longest!

Glad to hear you are still here TBMs is LO still on the inside??
I had no problem with feeding last time (despite no NHS support at all luckily my mum is a midwife and stayed with me for the first 2 weeks) I leaked everywhere for 6 months so clearly my supply was fine.

febes, how do they think women successfully exclusively feed twins and more? [headbang] You will do just fine, your body will adapt to the demand.

Welcome ghostbuster and congratulations on the pregnancy. The early days of pregnancy can be a little difficult until your body adjusts, I found by the second trimester things had settled down quite a bit.

CSWS, how are things going for you?

How annoying febes - my ds has managed to go from around 50th centile to above 75th in 5 weeks whilst I tandem feed, so tell your mw to shove that in her 'breastfeeding for numpties' textbook!

I had my 16 week check up and it was all standard the mdwife told me to give up BFing again grrrr I said why I'm only feeding once a day and she said That when the new baby came if I was feeding a toodler the new baby might not thrive and then I would have trouble weaning her. I have faith that my one feed a day will not disturb my supply!!! Maybe DD will self wean by then but I don't se any rush to stop her when she's only having it once a day. She not even a year year!!
I get so annoyed its like they aren't educated on BF at all!!!!!!

Hi all, I'm 7weeks pregnant, still bf my daughter who's 21 months. Struggling with a really low milk supply at the moment, probably linked to the fact I'm knackered!

Anyway, hope this thread is still active, looking forward to sharing experiences

I'll probably look up my local LLL, I want to get more involved with things like LLL and NCT because I wasn't last time (didn't do any classes because I had a premature baby) and missed out on a lot. I want to train to be a BFC and a Doula (not sure if I will have time to do both, but we'll see). The way I see it I've been through some really hard times with pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding, but because of that I had a lot of really good help, sadly women who have a really good experience of pregnancy and birth are often over looked when it comes to breastfeeding so I want to use my experiences to help women who are missed out.

TBM- It was the NCT who referred me to LLL when I was pregnant & still feeding ds! They said I would find mother who tandem fed their & they had more experience & info. I suppose it all depends on where the groups are & the mums who go. She was right though. The local LLL group had 9 core members, 7 who where/had tandem fed!

Just spotted this thread, although I think I may have posted way back.

DS is 2 years old and breastfeeding and I am 14 weeks pregnant. I am getting so, so much grief now that I am pregnant and DS is 2. Even DH, previously supportive, is making noises about maybe it may be time to give up. I am nodding vaguely in the interest of an easy life, but I am going to go with the flow and wait for DS to make the final decision.

He is currently feeding a lot in the morning, and only sometimes in the evening. He does of course like a feed if he wakes up in the night, although this happens rarely. It's great to have a support thread as I think people in RL secretly think I'm bit of a freak, although they rarely say anything to my face.

I've just surprised people at the NCT antenatal breastfeeding class by saying I'm tandeming (took the trainer to explain it) and that my daughter is 28 months! Should have heard them though, the idea of breastfeeding to 6 weeks "gasp that's a long time!" 6 months and 2 years, I'm sure you can imagine the !

I was shocked that a whole NCT class was so opposed to breastfeeding. I kinda thought that people who go on them are more open than that.

I've been on crutches for about 6 weeks due to PGP (I have an old injury and pregnancy makes it worse). I got pleasant surprise comments when I went into triage one night when my back seized up, the doctor gave me tips for nursing with a bad back.

Hi babies. My 2 yr old nursed more frequently when dd was born, loved all the milk! He put on lots of weight too but has since lost that.
Not sure how I am going to fit another one in either, although I was producing so much milk after dd birth that I was giving lots away to the bank etc. Thought this was a really good thing to do but then did eventually have to give up as the amount of milk my body was making was just plain silly! I was knackered & ate all day!
My 1 & 2 yr old still nurse what seems like all the time, 1 yhear old still on demand, several times, dont bother counting! 2 year old at least 4-5 times. I have had a quite day if he only feeds 3 times!
How have you found the tandem nursing?

Wow cheesemonster !!! I wonder if it is still 'tandem' if you are nursing three

I am tandem nursing 2.3 year old DD and 3 month old DS, however they both nurse enough that a potental third child would starve waiting for a breast to come free

All the best and I'll be very interested to hear how things go for you.

BTW How often do your 1 and 2 year old nurse at the moment ? I ask, as my toddler has increased her feeds since the baby has been here and I am wondering if she will reduce on her own.

TBM- finding it so much more sore this time! Hardly noticed 1st pregnancy, possibly because ds was so young but this time I knew I was pregnant before testing because I had become so sore. Also the dreaded spd had flared up
Now I have reached 12 weeks it is becoming less sore, or I am more used to it, not sure which.
Tip for anyone who could bear it & is having a slow labour- breastfeed. It really speed up my contractions & all of a sudden I was fully dilated! The midwife couldnt believe I was going to feed while in labour but when I told her it would settle me as I knew ds needs where met & then could concentrate on giving birth she was OK!
However I am so hungry, when not feeling sick this time! Didnt have sickness last time & was sure that was to do with the breastfeeding but now obviously not so!

lol CheeseMonster! I'd love to be in a position to say that Welcome to the group anyway. How are you finding the pregnant and nursing part? Is it different from last time?

Thought I would join in. I am 12 weeks pregnant & currently tandem feeding a 1 year old & a 2 year old! Both feeding lots & neither showing any signs of cutting down or stopping!
MW asked how old DD was when I stopped breastfeeding, told her still was feeding them both & planned to carry on & see what happens! She nearly fell on the floor!

My HV just asked how we're going to cope when the baby comes because Tink won't have any milk!

I said "I'm going to tandem" with a straight face!

It's this couple of months, we all seem to want to be having babies (maybe we want them out before Christmas) which is why I had to be sent up to Liverpool.

Was rather odd to have someone come up to you in an antenatal class and say "You're TinkerBellesMum, aren't you?" She actually knows Mum and Tink's godmother, went to the same breastfeeding group last time... It's a small world!

I'm having contractions hourly at the moment and Tink seems to know as she's asking to nurse right when they come up! (oh, please! Must I?? lol)

CSWC, We are approaching 3 months of tandem nursing and toddler DD is still nursing loads and eating reduced solids.

TBM, Glad to hear your still pregnant

A quick hello from me too. Tandem nursing going ok-ish. Dd very obsessed by boo-boo still, but does accept to some extent that ds needs to nurse too. Her solids intake has reduced as a result of the extra milk, but I'm hoping that it will be a short lived phase (4 weeks so far).

Unfortunately I've had to give up eating dairy again, as ds has turned out to be milk intolerant, just like dd used to be.

Glad to hear that you're still pregnant TBM. What is it with you B'ham lot though? EPPM (who I understand you met recently) was having (mild) contractions the other night too!

I thought I should dig this thread out, sorry I've not updated before. I'm still pregnant(YAY!) had another scare this week when I had tightenings every 15 minutes for 3-4 hours. They kept me in from some stupid am till the evening to monitor me and nothing much happened so they let me go.

I'm still nursing Tink when I see her, driving me mad not being with her all the time but I can't see an alternative, what would we have done with her either time I went in in the middle of the night? In a way I'm glad we're not together all the time because I get quite tight when I'm feeding her and I'd be worried if that was happening every day and sometimes several times. They said I can continue as long as it doesn't cause me to have contractions, so as they stop when she does and it's not all the time I'm happy that I'm not causing harm to her.

I'm 3 weeks off my record this weekend so not expecting to go much longer, FiFi (Tink's name for the baby) has had a full course of steroids so when she comes they will be happy to let her and won't try to stop it.

This might sound awful but in a way I wish she would hurry up and come, I feel so jumpy that I wish it was all over. I think in a way I can cope with the more known of having a baby here. I'm not wishing prematurity on her, honest, I'm just wishing it was a few weeks further on.

Ah, probably should have mentioned the name change, I was DeJaVous...

Ooops lost this thread for a while...

Tink - I missed the whole scary episode. Sorry. How are things going now?

Babies - I'm glad to hear it's still going well!

I went for my first midwife appointment this morning, she didn't turn a hair when I mentioned I was still BF. Which is nice!

BF is still going well, I had a couple of weeks of over sensitive nipples, but it's calming down again now (9+3). DD seems to be nursing about as much as always but my let down seems a bit slower / more difficult to get than it was.

Just a quick update, still tandem nursing here. DD still nursing a lot and reducing her solid intake, I am tryin to encourage her to eat more, without upsetting her as she has been so good about getting a new sibling.

Oh no, just caught up wth the news about Tink Hope everything goes well.

I just came on to say the same thing Febes. Thread here.

I just read on another thread that Tinkerbells mum is in Labour they are trying to slow her down. Everyone think healthy baby thoughts.

I agree Lionstar- So many people BF for 6 months and then seem to stop over night. At my 6 week check up with DD the female doc told me to only feed until 6 months as after that there is no real benfit and it just makes the mum tired. .

I'm down to one feed a day again first thing in the morning now but DD still seems to enjoy it and doesn't seem to want anymore (11 months) I am a bit worried about her milk intake so have started giving her a milk drink in the evening -its cows milk with a tiny spoon of milo stirred in do you think thats bad? She drinks it really well and I've tried formual and straight cows milk and she would only thake half the amount. She bites my boobs in the evening if I try to feed her so I don't think she wants that.

TBM will keep all fingers and toes crossed for you, hope you get better news at the next scan.

Just had my booking appointment with my lovely midwife and the subject came up about whether I breastfed before. So I volunteered that I was still bf at 20 months, and she heartily approved! In fact we spent a bit of time chatting about rates of bf, and she thought that the 'official' lines about bf are getting somehow confused or mixed up, because she has seen a big surge in mothers giving up totally at 6 months. She thought it possibly due to the wording of 'exclusive bf for 6 months' - making 6 months the target to achieve, rather than the 1 year that the health bodies actually recommend.

I mentioned that I have got some great advice from parenting forums on the internet, and she said 'Oh, do you use Mumsnet?' Well I'm always pleased to hear that HCPs are aware of Mumsnet, and she went on to say that Mumsnet often comes up in their department meetings as a reference to a place where topics very close to their heart are discussed in a 'normal and rational' way. Yay to them (and to Mumsnet)!

I'm 24 weeks, will be just off 27 weeks when I have the next scan. If she's not behaving I can see at that late stage they will be starting to look into steroids and thinking about bringing things forward. It's only 4 weeks away from when Tink was born and I've been aiming for that long.

Oh no TBM! How many weeks are you? It must be hard not knowing what comes next. . I guess you have to try to stay positive and know LOs are strong.

My scan was on another thread. There is a notch in the left uterine Doppler, someone (on here because the hospital didn't) explained it's the blood flowing back during a beat so the baby isn't getting enough oxygenated blood. She's also dropped to 10th %ile. They're more concerned about her weight at the moment (which, according to the poster who explained the notch could be related) and are going to rescan in 2 weeks (they can't do it sooner because it wouldn't tell them anything) to see if she is still on the same line or dropping. They've not told me what the next step is from there which I'm finding hard because I like to know a couple of steps in advance.

Thanks Febes. DD is 2yrs 8months.

Oh a new babe!! Congrats I have 6 months to go and I can't wait. How old is your DD? Mine will be 18 months when LO is born. Good to hear you haven't had to use breast pads yet. I leaked so much for the first 5 months with DD and it was horrid I could do with out that this time.

Just had a quick read through. Haven't read about your scan yet tbm - what's up?

Re expressing pre-birth, I tried to because of my gest diabetes, but wasn't successful. I never was much of an expresser though.

Now I've had my baby (did you guys see my childbirth and/or birth anouncement threads?) I can confirm that my milk did come in quicker than last time, so I wouldn't expect you'd need frozen supplies built up.

Ds is 5 days old now, and I haven't felt engorged at all, and am not even needing to use breast pads yet.

I'm trying to keep dd to her usual 3 feeds a day, whilst giving ds free access. This is causing some jealousy, but I want to establish some boundaries from the word go, as I know how prone dd is to want to feed incessantly given the chance.

Just getting this back onto my threads to remind me to catch up tomorrow, as I haven't read since going into hospital.

Febes, it was probably because you were tender more than you were being bitten. I posted on an FB group to say how much pain I was in, I didn't check back in and the next time I did someone was asking me if I was pregnant, I was 7 weeks and just tested between posts!

Missing my baby at the moment, my breasts don't seem so sore either so I'm hoping I'm not drying up

Did anyone see my thread about my scan yesterday? I'm feeling a little about that too.

I am also still sick. I dropped DD off at the childminder as I'm paying anyway and she is much better and getting verybored at home with me. I was good to have her with me for the last 3 days feeding her 3 times a day. i have dropped the formula feed at night again and its made no difference.

Did anyone elses Dcs notice when you fell pregnant. DD started biting me as soon as I fell PG. She knew before I did. My nipples feel ok now not so tender.

You haven't kill the thread

We are feeling a bit better today and wondering whether we should go out & potential cough near people or stay inside and have toddler DD go slowly mad ?

Have I killed the thread????

DD and I are both sick too! Had a rubbish day dispite the beautiful weather. Think I might need a day off tomorrow which is a shame as Monday is my best today at work. Much rather have thursday off I class I cover on thursday is evil. DD is feeding more which is reasuring as I was so close to thinking about stopping last week as she seemed to go off me but now I'm so glad as I feel I am really helping her by feeding and it seems to unblock her nose.

Great ideas Tink.

DD, DS and I all have a bad cold, so both kids want to nurse pretty much all the time and we are all coughing and sneezing over each other...joy !!!

DH has escaped being ill so far, which means he get to make food and cups of tea.

Put some gloves on him PT and wrap yourselves up in a blanket or quilt. Tink loves it when I bring a quilt into the living room, sometimes she gets one and we just curl up on the sofa wrapped up, I love feeding her like that.

whomovedmychocolate, Sounds like tandem nursing is going well for you

I did/have been engorged despite tandem nursing for the first 6 weeks.

Especially at night, I have have very painfully full breasts...one night I dashed downstairs and grapped the hand pump and expressed 4ozs out...I felt better (though I avoided expressing in general as it will encourage more milk supply)

feck, it's freezing and ds has a vicious cold. want to offer him a bf as it might help him but it's so cold i don't want his freakishly cold hands touching me

i lose lentil points for admitting that don't i?

Awww, we'll let you off!

It's about as clever as you're likely to get from me this weekend [yawning with tiredness emoticon]

No hi-jacking, it's a support group, we can talk about what we want

I was thinking of O&U knitting lentils and chatting as rather clever multi tasking!

ello o&u, please do join in, we seem to have hijacked this thread yet again

TBM, we already are multi tasking..... after all, we're growing a person while MNing..... that counts right?

pst it's PT

Feel free to join in if you can multi-task!

*weaves lentils while eavesdropping on TBM and PD's conversation, nodding sagely at intervals*

I wish I'd found this place a lot sooner. I heard about BLW when she was about 4 months old, didn't have net access so was Googling through my mobile (not a very new phone so not the best) and finding pages from Aitch's site to get TBD to print off so I didn't get involved with the forum there for quite awhile and it was mostly made up of MNetters so I heard about MN from there. Took awhile to get into MN as I'm used to other forums and didn't want to get into another one, once I realised it was my sort of place I started to use it a lot more.

exactly, i was confident enough to be much more lentilly where ds was concerned than i had been with dd as i had MN by then and didn't feel like such a freak and weird loner doing things like breastfeeding beyond 3/6 months or co-sleeping

Maybe our next thread should be something about us all being hippies lol.

I'm liking that I'm not unusual, it's nice to know that there will be a lot of support when the baby comes from other lentil weavers!

it's lovely though, my AN thread when i was having ds was very differant.

no one was still nursing older kids, most hadn't bf at all and very few went beyond a few weeks or days when our kids were born hardly any co slept, lots had the baby in anther room altogether and there was talk of routines and blackout blinds more so than slings and baby wearing. a few did BLW but lots were feeding purees at 4/5 months.

i was the hippy on that thread fgs which just tells you how bad it was

I think that's what people have against NTBF to be honest, they imagine kids being fed like a baby when they get to school. Most people I've heard/seen talk about their older nurslings have said it's when the child thinks about it and often once a month. Even now we're not doing it daily, just when she wants to, most days though.

You never know PT we may APise the whole of Feb Mums! Looks like we are already on the way to it as the Lentil Weaver thread on FB is quite full.

funnily enough dp has always been 100% behind me on all my mad, hippy childrearing methods... even BLW

the only negative comment he's ever made about bf-ing was to say he wouldn't be comfortable with it going on beyond about 3/4 as he believes that it would be odd if ds was stil feeding at school but that being said he said that at a point where nursing was a very differant experiance than the once every day or two snuggly morning and night feeds ds wants now..... i think he inagined ds coming running home in a school uniform and nursing like a newborn instead of playing with his friends, lol.

i'm lucky he's openminded and trusts my judgment as it's made it easier having his support than if i had to fight my ground constantly.

Offer to replicate the pain [evil]

TBD went to work without changing her one morning when she was tiny (he looks after her in the mornings before he goes out so that I can get some sleep) and didn't tell me. When I eventually changed her nappy, didn't rush to check it as I thought it was clean, she was sore. I went into his office, he came down to meet me and asked what I wanted, I got close to him dropped my voice grabbed him hard and said "next time you leave her in a wet nappy and don't even tell me I'll take a razor to your bits and see how you like it" and then carried on talking about whatever it was I was there for like nothing had happened. He got the point though

I have to say though, he's been brilliant. He's quite a sensible person and I worried that he wouldn't go for the more AP things - he married a hippy, I should have known really - and he's surprised me. Even when I sprung BLW on him he's been behind everything. I've asked him what he thinks about me still nursing at this age, pregnant and when I have two and he said he's fine with it as long as I am. He's never suggested stopping when things have been tough. We might have our fall outs but I don't think where it matters I could ask for anything better in a man. I think I've got the best deal between me, my brother and sister and he's the best man I've ever been out with, makes me wonder what I was doing when I got married!

And I'm feeling hormonal today! (I seem to be getting PMT through this pregnancy )

Surprisingly (or perhaps not) the least supportive person around is dh, who is being a massive knob about, well, everything atm - but especially about me bf-ing.

Tonight being a classic example: ds has got a bit of a temp, my nipples are in agony. All he wants to do is nurse but I can't even bear him touching me. Dh comes up (at the point when ds is screaming for milk) and says, "I don't understand how you can be so supportive of bf-ing and then refuse to nurse him."

I can't get through to him how distressing it is for me not to be able to nurse ds, when it's all i really want to do and all he wants to do. I can't get through to dh how tired i am, how very fed up i am - already - of being pregnant and being sick and in pain with my back. If anyone has any witty or pithy comebacks it'd be really appreciated before I just fucking deck him!

Funnily enough it's been the other way for me. My SIL is anti-breastfeeding (even sticks a dummy in her thumb sucking sons mouth) and Mum didn't get very far first two times, my sister fed most of the year until she got teeth and was weaned late because she preferred milk. I got some AP ideas from Mum and was shocked that she wasn't more supportive (but she isn't AP she did what she had to). I've had attempts to undermine the breastfeeding all along and gentle bitty humour (not nastiness). More recently though there's been occasions where only "me me" will do, when we're out and she asks I try to put her off but now Mum will say to just give it her - she's never stopped me feeding in public or said anything, although I have had to educate her on the law that just because you own a place doesn't mean you can say you won't serve someone on discriminatory grounds.

I'm off to Bravissimo next week to try and get some girder-like device!

Tell you what though, my previously supportive mother is getting on my nerves, making 'are you still feeding DD' comments in front of her . Interspersed with 'I didn't feed any of you so I know nothing about breastfeeding, but it seems to me......' GAH!!!!

I think I need a J, I haven't been measured in ages.

It's interesting to hear how others find it, it's all new territory!

I don't think I was fuller than before, and I leaked a lot less, but could express a lot more. I don't think that answers anything for anyone!!!

Oh god almighty I look like Jordan. Have just been remeasured at a fucking J cup!!!!

After DS was born I didn't really get engorged because DD was taking off any excess several times a day

lol welcome WMMC - hope you are getting plenty of chocolate

Question to those already nursing two, what WMMC just said made me think, do you find yourself fuller than before? What was it like after littlest nursling was born?

Ooh only just found this - I'm tandem feeding a 2 yr old 3 times a day and a 20lb 12 week old. My milk is just continually widdling out but aside from that it's going really well though I do feel a bit bovine if I feed them together

at my booking in i was preparing myself for stupid comments and having to argue with the mw but what actually happened was this;

mw; how long were your previous labours/any family history of x, y & z/do you smoke?
me; relevant answers
mw; did you bf your older children?
me; i still am bfing ds [prepares for hotrrified look and daft comments]
mw; [doesn't even look up from screen] how tall are you?
me; erm, 5ft8......

it was both a relief and a bit of a let down as i had so many lovely facts and figures to throw at her, lol

No reason to give up unless it causes a problem for you. The first weeks can be painful tough but this does pass.

At the same age Tink cut down to one feed a day, but she's still going now at 26 months. I think there was just too much for her to do at that age.

Welcome to the group!

Hi I've benn recommend this thread as I'm 10 weeks pregnant and feeding my 11 month old DD. The midwife told me I should think about when soon.
She is only on 1/2 feeds a day and does seem to be self weaning a bit as she is taking less and less but just wanted to hear your experiences. I know the midwife is wrong. What do you give them if not breast milk? Do I just give her a slipper cup of cows milk. Don't want to faff about with formula or bottles at this point if I don't need to.

Well I think Tink was just teasing me! I picked her up from CM today and, although she was asleep, she clung to my neck, I had to hold her hand in the car and promise her juice and chocolate if she would let me go into the post office! Got back to my parents and she was undressing me before we were sat down!

I feel a little sad that it's one feed in a week and she's not going to have another one till she gets back from Malta. We're picking her up from the airport though and having a weekend in London with her, so lots of chance for more feeds.

Oh that's interesting Constance. I think my baby is lying back to back at the moment too. Wonder if it'll become less painful if it moves. I've been concerned because, although I'm getting BHs at other times, they're not painful, whereas during and after nursing they are.

TheSD have your tried your boy on goats (or sheeps) milk ? (sorry if you have mentioned it previously). My DD is happy to drink cows or goats, though in small quantities. I try and keep her to goats because my brothers were allergic to cows milk, and she does have problems with dry/spotty skin which may be down to cows. I think goats milk has a different casein protein which is better tolerated by the body.

Glad to hear your doctor is clued up though, mine is more than useless when it comes down to pregnancy/baby stuff. Midwives are nice enough, though have yet to mention I am still bf DD.

They were stronger for a few minutes after finishing nursing, but I had them lots at other times too. They were really painful as the baby was lying back to back, as soon as she moved they were much less painful.

Dryad, your GP sounds great.

Constance, how long did they last - the BHs?

I got braxton hicks when nursing too, from about a month before my due date.

I have been so surprised by how surprised all the midwives have been that I am still nursing my 21 month ds. I thought they would have seen it all before but it seems not. The midwife in charge of the hospital ward actually asked me how it all worked and thanked me for the information afterwards!!! It was nice they weren't judgemental but you would have thought they would KNOW about such issues themselves.

sud fancy seeing you here!!!!

Hi everyone! Thanks for your posts and sympathies. Things are getting a bit easier, ds has started to take cow's milk at nighttime but I've noticed his eczema flaring up on his back and shoulders so decided to offer rice milk instead but he doesn't like it!! <<sigh>>

I have asked not to see my mw anymore as she was so unsupportive of my decision to continue bf-ing and have a home birth. I am instead seeing my (fabulous) GP - who incidentally nursed her youngest dd until she was 3 - and is far more informed about breastfeeding than my mw!

Is anyone else getting BH contractions during/after nursing? I'm getting concerned as they're painful and last a while after I stop.

Tapster, Sorry to hear about the continuing morning sickness, hope it goes away soon.

You sound very mixed about your daughter self weaning, which is totally understandable. How wonderful that your daughter self weaned, I wonder if she'll want to resume nursing when your baby arrives ?

I didn't bother telling my midwife I was breastfeeding. I knew she probably wouldn't react badly - she was the same midwife my friend, who also breastfed during pregnancy, saw, and I knew my friend had already done the work of educating her . I just didn't see it as medically relevant.

Well I leave this thread, DD has self-weaned at nearly 23 months. I had morning sickness so badly I couldn't feed her before bed two nights in a row and my DH put her to bed, the third night she didn't ask and I didn't offer and so it has ended. A bit sad but a bit relieved as the pain in feeding was getting very bad. Stopping BF hasn't helped my morning sickness but I didn't believe it would, at nearly 17 weeks I'm not convinced it will go this pregnancy. Good luck to all those that plan/continue to tandem feed.

I agree *GM, My poor baby was born 10lbs 1oz !!!

Thanks very much for the responses. It's great to have reassurance that I am doing my best for both my babies.

"She was not sympathetic and told me it was a concern as I would be depriving the foetus of nutrients "

Oh this one makes me laugh!! I dread to think how big DD2 would have been if I'd not nursed DD1 through my pregnancy. She was born well rounded and 7lb 13oz. Clearly not deprived of nutrients at all!! (DD1 was 6lb 13oz, if that means anything)

I couldn't not tell the MW's I was still bf, DD1 asked for booby at my booking appointment!

My milk didn't dry up and the first midwife I saw was very positive about me still nursing my toddler and actually told me I could continue thought the pregnancy and had I heard of tandem nursing ?

So medical peoples attitude do vary a lot !?!

Not everyone's milk dries up during pregnancy, Tink doesn't seem to be able to get enough of mine at the moment!

It's not lying to not bring something up that isn't relevant. However, the age of your child could make them ask. Don't lie if it comes up. If they try to worry you about the baby just tell them baby first, child second, mum third and the only time you need to worry about pregnancy is if it's causing you problems or you're told no sex.

'tis true. There will be a lot of things she wont ask me about. I'll play it by ear but it's not something I want to end up feeling uneasy about.

I'm definitely not worried about BF and pregnancy health wise. I'm not looking forward to dry feeding, sore nipples and all that malarky but I trust my body to give my children what they need, born or unborn.

Well up to you of course - but I don't think you are lying by omission - if it was really medically important they would ask you about it every time - the way they do about drinking and drugs.

You can't tell them about every aspect of your life so you just have to trust them to bring up the important factors.

But of course, if you are worried then tell them.

I've been thinking about it and I'm not prepared to lie by omission over this one after all. It would make me feel uncomfortable and as if I was doing something wrong.

DD is only 10 months (she'll be 11 when I see the midwife) and I'm not having anyone criticising her right to my milk.

I shall be assertive if she doesn't approve and tell her that I'm prepared to discuss it once she's ensured she is well informed over the issue in hand.

This is what I'm saying now anyway, be prepared for a tear stained post on 04/11/08

I wasn't going to mention it but the midwife asked me how long I had fed DS for and I didn't have a fib prepared!

She was not sympathetic and told me it was a concern as I would be depriving the foetus of nutrients and wrote BREAST FEEDING ONGOING on my notes in big letters!!!

But since then no-one else has mentioned it or raised it as a concern, and I've not been able to find any research that supports her theory, so I just carried on regardless.

I really wouldn't bother mentioning it. I have only been asked once and that was at my booking in, as they asked how long I'd BF DS for and I said "I still am". The MW looked a little surprised but not in a bad way; later, when going through the antenatal classes that they run, she said of the breastfeeding one, "I don't think you'll need that one... in fact you could probably run it!"

Silence it it then! Unless DP blabs, I'll have to prepare him

Say nothing, it doesn't affect your care or pregnancy. Like I said the only time you need to bring it up is if it's a problem with the pregnancy or you're told not to have sex.

There are 5 midwives at our practice. I think a couple will be OK with it, the others less so. I'll see them in random order throughout the pregnancy so it's hard to know what to do for the best.

Play it by ear, if you have a MW that you think would be cool with it tell her, but it's not relevant to the pregnancy unless it causes you problems.

I never even considered not telling them THB. Maybe I wont, I suppose it's not really relevant.

Mind you, I'm not sure I'd feel alright about it, we'll see.

There's no reason to tell them TBH. I have because I found out I was pregnant late and said that was the reason. Fortunately for me I've had lots of positive responses, including being told I'm "an example to us all" The only time I'd worry about telling them is if you are having problems when you breastfeed with the pregnancy - if it was making you have strong BH for example - or if you've been told not to have sex.

I'm also not looking forward to telling the midwife, but I wont see her until I'm 8 weeks.

TBH you just need to be aware that you are better informed about the facts of being pregnant and BF than she is. As long as you look after yourself well all will be well, your body will put the baby first, the nursling second and you last. Eat well and rest when you can

You've got the same in your breasts however tall /short/ big busted/ flat you are. You must make sure you look after yourself though, your body will feed the baby first, nursling second and you third. It's not been that bad for me to be honest, I feel fine and I'm sure I've lost a little weight, I can afford to

It's not something that people come across anymore so they don't really know but feel the need to give an opinion on. The only opinions you need are from us at least you know you'll get an honest educated opinion! Read through this thread and you'll find women who have had enough of it and women who've come out the other side, I think this is the best diversity.

Good morning

I had my booking in appointment last week and mentioned I was still bfing 17mth old. MW seemed very surprised and expressed concern that it "would take too much out of me physically" to be pg and bfing. Whilst I made it clear I had no intention of stopping in the near future, I have been letting it worry me a bit. Please give me reassurance that I am not compromising my pregnancy. My sister also thinks I am mad because I am quite petite but I don't see that this should make a difference? I'm currently 11weeks.

Thank you in advance.

Is it terrible that I was glad they never mentioned me feeding Tink still? I was chatting to Jenny when she told me that the story had been picked up and told her I hadn't known for awhile as I'm still breastfeeding. I don't want to hide the fact, but I didn't want it to detract from the story.

Tink drinks constantly, people are always amazed at the amount she puts away. Probably why I feel like my breast is going to come through my nipple at times! If she thinks I'm going to take her off the breast she clamps (eek!) and if I warn her she shakes her head (double eek!)

LOL I'll remember that in future! Have you tried to read Take a Break when you're pregnant?

Tinkerbellesmum - that's so sad!!! Sitting here at my desk snuffling - you should put a disclaimer on the link for susceptible pregnant women!

Suburbandryad - I really sympathise - I felt virtually dry from about 4-6 months and it was really painful. And I know exactly what you mean about not feeling able to talk to other people - not many of my friends know that I am still feeding, and those that do stopped long since so can't do much more than offer sympathy.

Things I found helped:

Giving him a big drink first so he wasn't too thirsty.
Taking him off if it was painful and putting him back on again - sometimes changing the position/latch seemed to make it a bit more bearable - or perhaps he just sucked less strongly after a break.
Givign him plenty of warning if I was going to take him off, and counting down (although he did start sobbing "no count, no count" after the first few times, which was a bit heart-rending!).
And it sounds weird - but for the nipple twiddling I found that exposing the other boob completely helps - it seems to encourage him to stroke the whole thing rather than just pinch the nipple.

But basically it was bloody painful - but only until the colostrum came in and it's now got more bearable...

Hijacking my own thread The Mirror today

SuburbanDryad,

I sympathise with the touched out thing. Both mine have been nipple twiddlers and I hate it. I won't let them, but they still try.

Be gentle but firm, tell him "no" (DD2 pinches too, not nice) and move his habd away. He will be cross, but he'll get over it. I have treated nipple twiddling like biting. If thy continue to do it the boobs go away.

TBM, if you are still nursing Tink and still have milk for her then you should find your milk comes in pretty quickly, as Tink will be able to stimulate your supply and help bring it in.

You can pump now if you want, technically it's called colostrum harvesting, and some diabetic mums do it so they don't have to use formula if babys blood sugars are low at birth. You may find you don't get much, but every drop counts and ultimatly if it gives you peace of mind it's worth it.

Just adding this back to my list!

Anyone got anything to say about pumping for the new one? There is a strong possibility I will be having her (yes, her if anyone hasn't heard) early and I'm worried about going through what we did before of it taking a long time for me to have the milk to supply Tink, so I've been thinking about whether pumping now and freezing anything I get would help.

Hiya, just catching up on this thread quickly. I'm now 12 weeks pg and still feeding 19mo DS in the morning and bedtime but like Tapster am finding it really painful (I'm still feeling nauseous too).

There doesn't seem to be much milk in the evenings although it feels like there's more in the mornings. Last week DS chose a new cup and I think I'm going to try cows' milk instead of the evening feed, but he's been teething and had disturbed nights so I don't want to change his routine til that's settled down.

congratulations splishsplosh! hope everything is continuing to go well - v exciting!

and thanks everyone for advice. Like TSD I don't feel I have anyone in real life I can talk to about this (v few people know I'm pg yet, and I know that the thing lots of people will say when I tell them is 'so you're going to have to wean ds now'...)

We're v lucky, I realise, in that DS does like milk from a soft spouted cup, and will drink a lot of it at times. It concerns me a little, because I feel I haven't made up my mind to stop, and I don't want that decision to be thrust upon me because he decides he can't be bothered with breast, cup is just more rewarding.

TSD, people just don't seem to understand, do they, that bfing is about a lot more than just milk, and that taking it away suddenly - even in the way that we are, unintentionally, by reducing the amount of milk - is really difficult for both mother and child. Do the suggestions in the tandem nursing book, about saying things like 'last one', or 'let's count to 10 then stop' help? DS gets terribly upset if I say all finished with no warning, but if I say 'last one' (he swaps sides a lot) then he is much more accepting. (this is the same as what youngvisiter is saying...)

ds drinks goats milk as dd is cows milk intolerant and he was too until recently. i keep him on goats milk as it's great for asthma and eczema both of which dp has (and both kids are mildly eczemic) so better for their health anyway even without the intolerances.

neither of mine have much appetite for milk though, i make them have it with their dinner but 8/10 the cups are still very full by the end of the meal.

Does anybody else's toddler not drink cows milk my DD hates it and always has (tried it cold and warm since 11 months). She is 23 months old now and I'm 16 weeks pregnant. We are down to one BF before bed but it has become very painful and I still have awful morning sickness. Last two nights she has been put to bed by my DH without milk as I've felt so ill.

Will the nipple pain go? Not sure if I want to wean now or not. She sleeps through without milk and goes to bed without a murmur. Worried about her lack of dairy which makes me waver, DH hates all dairy food as well and did as a child.

thesurbarbandryad - it may well get better soon, DD was still quite addicted a couple of months ago but has definitely become less keen recently.

Awww TSD. I don't suppose a nursing strike has helped your supply, so it might be that it will increase again if you keep on feeding.

Could you try having a spouted cup of milk with you when you are feeding, and encourage him to have a bit from that and then a bit from you, so that he isn't so frustrated? Dd likes to still have my boobs out, and rest my nipple in her ear () or against her cheek whilst she's drinking from the cup.

(Not an old thread btw, but an ongoing one )

Hey - hope no-one minds me bumping an old thread but I don't have anyone else to talk to about this and it's upsetting me so much.

My milk has pretty much dried up, and it's extremely painful for ds to nurse. I try and let him as much as possible, but usually I have to stop the feed before he's ready to stop and it really upsets him. He is constantly asking for "More" (after his week long nursing strike! ) and I can't stand telling him that there just isn't any "more".

I can't talk to anyone else about this - everyone I talk to says that he's had 20 months of nursing, and that I've done really well, but they don't understand how much of an integral part of my parenting breastfeeding is. It's part of who I am as a parent - and it's pretty much all ds has ever known. He does drink cow's milk, but he doesn't like being offered it instead of bm. It as though he still needs to suck for comfort and I'm seriously thinking about trying to get him onto a dummy again - he's never taken one before but there's always been the option of the breast before. He's such a boob monster at the moment, if i even pick him up for a cuddle he's got his hands down my top footling around for "buttons" (his word for my nipples!) and it just touches me out so much.

Why do our bodies make it so fucking hard?

congratulations splishsplosh!!

Littlefrogs - I give my DS a cup of warm milk at bedtime which he sips while we're reading his story, and then he often wants to drink a bit more after he's finished bfing.

He is not big on milk (except bm!) and rarely drinks the whole cup but I like to offer him the chance just in case. It doesn't seem to affect his desire to bf.

Lots of babies self-wean during pregnancy anyway, so it's probably a good idea to get him used to other sources of milk, just in case.

Congratulations splishsplosh . Looks likely that I'll be hanging on for induction on Monday afternoon, so a few more days til I join you on the tandem front.

littlefrog - dd drinks cows milk from a cup as well as having bf - she's a total milk monster for milk of all sorts! She certainly drinks more cows milk at bedtimes now than she used to.

splishsplosh, managed to completely miss your post!

congrats glad things are going well for you so far.

keep us posted on how the tandeming is going

well my boobs started making colustrum today and ds's face after weeks of no milk was priceless

he's very pleased that my boobs are making 'special milk for the baby' and went back for another taste after he'd climbed into bed already!

littlefrog, i've been giving ds a cup of goats milk with his dinnner since he's been about a year or so.

it can't do any harm and if you're like alot of women your milk might be drying up before the colostrum comes in so it's probably a good idea to make sure he's getting something to drink in the evenings if he seems to need it, if you think his calcium intake is good enough and don't want to give milk why not offer water? although a cup of milk would probably best

Hi guys, CSWS kindly linked me to this thread after my post worrying about whether colostrum would still be produced. Am only just newly pregnant (about 5/6 weeks) and have a 19 month DD who is a booby addict.

Nipples are pretty painful, but to be honest they often are anyway, I think because DD is a nipple twiddler and gives me some pretty nasty pinches. We are attempting some breastfeeding etiquette, and she is gentle for a while, then just give it a big tweak as I'm drifting off! Dreading the fact that they may get more painful by all your accounts.

We have started to talk about the baby to her, apparently she has one in her tummy too. She has also asked me to give the baby milk (dubba) too, so we will try and build on that. Half the time I think it will be great to tandem feed, and the other half I'm dreading the thought, especially the idea of explaining it to family and friends, haven't even contemplated the whole midwife scenario!

Glad to hear that we won't be doing this journey alone though, really good to hear your stories.

P.S. Many congratulations splishsplosh, please let us know about you progress in you own adventures in tandem feeding!

CSWS -baby arrived 4 days early at 02.05 on 24/09 - 2 hours from waters breaking to arrival, about 1hr 40 mins of contractions - thought i was going to have an unplanned solo hb at 1 stage...

seem to be producing enough milk for a small village of kids - even after dd1 feeds sometimes I still feel uncomfortably full, and she threw up the last 2 mornings - don't know if that was too much milk or anything????I don't know if her still feeding is contributing to over production, or if it's just because it's early days. She's still as keen as ever, and does ask for it more often, but I want to stick to just first thing and last thing of the day - luckily dd2 has been asleep so far at those times, I haven't attempted simultaneous feeding and it's not always easy to get dd2 latched on at the moment, so no plans to try it just yet either

hello people,
hope everyone is well. i got the adventures in tandem feeding on your advice and have been devouring it - have to make sure i put it away properly afterwards though as pregnancy isn't 'official' yet - another couple of weeks to go...

i have a question for those of you who are further along than me (10 weeks) or who've done this before: have you supplemented bf with cows milk from a cup? DS is 18m, and I've been noticing that his evening feed have got MUCH longer suddenly, and last night he simply wouldn't settle, I went in again and again and he just kept on saying more more and sucking for ages; then DH went in with a cup of milk and he settled well after that. This evening I gave him quite a big cup of milk after his tea, and he drank the whole lot (this is unusual), then had a happy bath, content feed, and went to sleep like a lamb.

what do you think I should do, should I offer breast first, then cup? Or milk after tea, then play, read, bath then breast? No cup at all?

I've not made up my mind about going on feeding, but I know that I'd be really really really sad if it suddenly stopped now (and tbh i think ds would be too)

you'll probably be one of those people who sail though!

Also if you are looking for info, I read this amazing book called Adventures in Tandem Nursing which is very good at giving strategies and advice on different scenarios, but is also very honest and realistic about the challenges, and very supportive if women decide they don't want to go on.

It has lots of case-studies from different women so you can kind of pick and choose what advice seems good to you - I adopted several ideas, including a brilliant counting down technique which I use when I need to limit the time of feeds (either because it's hurting or because I'm having uncomfortable/scary braxton hicks - nursing seems to make them come on really strong). I say to DS "right, you can have 10 more" and then slowly count to ten (or fast, if I need him off quick!) and he seems to respond much better than me justing saying "get off now!!"

TYV, I'm sure I'll be able to do this. I think I really was having some sort of massive hormone surge yesterday morning

I'm going to do my very best to succeed anyway! My mum managed and she's about as determined as a totally undetermined thing. Unfortunately she remembers absolutely nothing about it so I'll not be getting a lot of help from that quarter...

Dejavous - I have definitely had points of hoping my DS would self-wean - but I never got to the point of wanting to wean him by force, iykwim.

And often I am very, very glad that he's still bfing - like on holiday when he fell over and cracked a tooth and was completely hysterical and inconsolable - a quick BF sorted him out like magic medicine! He's also a dream to get to bed compared to most of my friend's babies, which I'm sure is partly to do with winding down by feeding in a familiar way.

Now I'm 31 weeks pg and feeling slightly trepidatious at the thought I might be tandem feeding soon - but mostly looking forward to the challenge!

I swung between hopeing my daughter would wean and hopeing she wouldn't

Overall I am glad we are tandem nursing. it can really help us, especially at the end of a busy day. It can turn bad tempered me, tired DD and hungry DS into a more peaceful unit.

Cheers Babies, I think was having a big hormonal surge this morning. Lots of crying, angst and feeling weird. Has now passed and I'm a normal(ish) person again

I'm definitely going to persevere with BF, I feel that I owe it to DD to do my very best. Anyway, I don't want to stop! If it does get though I can imagine wishing she would self wean but TBH I can't see me trying to wean her.

Thanks for pointing me in the direction of this thread by the way

DeJaVous, Remember everyone has different experiences for nursing though pregnancy.

I was slightly sore around 8 weeks mark, my DD went down to one feed a day in the middle trimester (went up again) and apart from that she nursed well thoughout my pregnancy...plus I had no real pain etc and I kept my milk/colestrum thoughout, I didn't have a dry spell at all

Just see how things go before you make your mind up one way or the other. All the best

Hello everyone - I can't believe I forgot to check back on this thread and now so many messages!

Hope everyone is doing swimmingly.

I am now 30 weeks and still feeding DS (2). It's still occasionally quite painful when he latches on but nothing like the early days when I had to grit my teeth.

I don't think there is really any milk left, partly because he sometimes says "milk gone" in a sad voice halfway through, and partly as he drinks masses out of his bedtime cup after he's finished bfing - but the bf now seems to be more about winding down and having cuddly time rather than getting nourishment.

How is everyone else getting along?

Thanks pinktulips, I think I'm just having a lot of wobbles at the moment. You know the drill wondering if I'm mad to get pregnant and how I'll cope with the whole two under two thing...

I am really very pleased and it was planned, but I also feel awfully alone. I'd already forgotten how alone being pregnant makes me feel

That's what you get for moving to a foreign country I guess

dejavous.... i think it is the hormones as i felt like that in the early stages of both pregs i was feeding during and although dd and i never got past the year with ds i'm so glad i'm still doing it now i'm past the initial ookiness.

he feels so happy and secure knowing mama milk is still there for him and i think it will really help the transition, and now that the soreness has eased it's no skin off my nose to do it, in fact the morning feeds in bed are lovely, all snuggly and comforting for both of us.

Indeed we are hopefully. It's good to know I'm not the only one wanting to do this with a child under one!

Congratulations!

Can I join too? DD is 11 months and I'm 9 weeks pregnant, still bf, still intending to keep going. Had some bleeding a couple of weeks ago and actually bf was the one thing that cheered me up through it - lovely snuggly cuddles! All was fine though acc scan last week. Am struggling with tiredness and nausea but no sore nips surprisingly.

Dejavous, we are in similar position!

After reading all that I'm now thinking I might not be able to hack feeding right through the pregnancy, maybe it's my hormonal state. I hope so. Poor DD is still really young and she needs her milk...

Am now wondering if I'm totally mad for planning DC2 so soon.

Hello all! I've just found out I'm pregnant and am still feeding DD who is 10 months old. I'm only 4 and a bit weeks so it's very early days, I had a chemical pregnancy last month so I'm trying not to get too excited yet. My new MN name has turned out to be strangely appropriate!

Am off to read the thread to date now...

found you again!

lost this thread for ages and kept forgetting to hunt it down, lol

ds is still feeding, sort of

there's definitely no milk in one side as he keeps stoppping to give out to me about it and i'm not convinced there is in the other either and he's only feeding every now and again so milk quotas not going to improve any time soon

he's happy though so i'm happy.

hope everyone else is getting on ok.

Any sign of baby arriving yet splishsplosh?

1st for me. Induction booked for 6th in case it doesn't happen naturally before, as I have gestational diabetes so am not supposed to go over.

It hurt when dd latched on for ages, but has been OK for the last trimester.

CSWS - when's your baby due? Mine is 28th. It'll be good to have someone starting tandem feeding at the same time!

Oh yes llare - it was agony for me through the first trimester, but has got much better. Still a bit odd, but dd isn't the gentlest, and I figure it's good acclimatisation for having a newborn!

Welcome splish - good to have someone else at the same stage .

It has for me, I felt very bruised and had to try to discourage her sometimes. I'm still feeling like she is chomping sometimes but it's not as bad as it was.

I think there is the same gap between our children.

Just what I needed!

I'm 7 weeks pregnant with a 23 month old DS. Everybody keeps on at me to give up feeding during my pregnancy but I so want to continue.

DS only feeds morning and evening but really enjoys it.

Great to see others out there tandem feeding. I have to say my nipples are really feeling sensitive right now. Does it get better?!

Thanks for the welcome Tinker. Dd seems quite excited about the baby (don't know if boy or girl, it's always kept its knees together!) so I'm hoping things will be OK, but she is a bit possessive of her mummy, so guess we'll see.
I never imagined bf for so long, or tandem feeding. Most people who heard I was still bf her suggested I should be giving up, whereas i thought it seemed worse to make her stop for the sake of dc2, as I thought it might make her feel a bit pushed out as she so loves it

Hi splishsplosh, welcome to the group! It's good to have people here who are later in pregnancy or had their baby to give us "expert" advice! Your DD sounds really sweet, I bet she will love helping you look after the new baby showing him/her(?) how to do it and sharing her milk.

Hi, can I be another latecomer?
I'm 38 weeks, and still feeding dd who is 2.9, and I'm feeling a bit apprehensive about tandem feeding.
Dd still loves bf, and would do it more - it's usually just morning and night time now. I've talked to her a lot about the baby only being able to have milk, and not being able to enjoy all the things she can like cheese and chocolate, but she has suggested I give her milk, and she will provide milk for the baby!! so not sure that she's entirely keen on the sharing idea.

Hey ladies. How's everyone doing?

38 weeks now, and dd still feeding at least 3 times a day and assuring me that there's still milk. There'll be lots more soon .

Thought I'd bump this back up.

We're currently playing "throw yourself out of the cot and get Mummy/Daddy to put you back in"! She's climbing out, crying in pain, coming to me for comfort, getting put back in and so on! I've given her 10ml of the antihistamine we were given and it can't have kicked in yet. [headbang]

Still co-sleeping wth DS who's three and showing no signs of realy wanting to go anywhere but he's recently found out about "high up beds" (cabin style ones)and thinks they look very exciting so we're going to get him one and put it next to our bed and see how we go. He's finally started sleeping through the night but I know that could go backwards at any point so for now I'm happier to have him in the same room with me.

Blooming ironic that after 3 years of DS waking me up he choses the point that I am waking up all by myself due to pregnancy-related discomforts to sleep like a log himself!

How about both of you turning up when she wakes in the night, and him offering water and then you offering milk as soon as that is rejected? And then gradually his presence will be just as expected and comforting as yours. The sooner we start, the more chance we all have of an easy transition!

Sadly we haven't got room for another double bed, but as we've currently got a queen I thought we might manage to fit in a single. I thought I'd have baby, then me, then DD, then DH. i.e. DH will probably end up in the single - but he might get more sleep that way; DD is a very restless sleeper.

At the moment she won't accept him in lieu of me at night, which is really worrying me.

tink, i think they just go through phases of early waking. dd will go for a few weeks waking at 5am every morning and then just suddenly go back to sleeping til 7 or8, i've never noticed that the brighness outside or what time she goes to bed makes any differance.

I was just too paranoid about what people would think if I slept with the baby in the middle first time around! We always did the cuddle curl too (lovely description) so it would have been perfectly safe, but since my mother was busy having irrational conniptions about whether I was going to kill this much-wanted grandchild by SQUASHING it in the night WITHOUT NOTICING, I thought that introducing the possibility of another potentially homicidal parent into the infant's nightly hazards was a bridge too far...

Our plan, if we could be said to have one, is to buy a second double bed and put the two together for a room-filling Family Bed Heaven. Might be important to begin sharing out the night time parenting if you haven't already, just so that Daddy comforting the child because you're attending to the new baby isn't a sudden shift in routine once the baby arrives?

i always had baby in the middle if possible especially after about 2 months as rolling out of the bed was always more worrying to me than being rolled on.

the one time at 3 weeks dd got the duvet over her face she screamed so loud i'm sure thewhole apartment block got woken up! i always curled around her so there was no fear of me or dp rolling on her as far as i was concerned.

Having baby in the middle isn't too bad if you're sleeping in the cuddle curl position as you're protecting baby from dad.

Tink has started waking up very early unless she is co-sleeping, her poor dad is exhausted! I at least get to sleep during the day. We only have a double bed and it's a tight fit if we both lie on our backs, let alone adding a fidety toddler in! if anyone has any ideas how to get her through the night let me know! We did wonder if it's dawn waking her. We have 4m width windows so never got around to finding the money to buy curtains (and I've not had the time). So we put a quilt over the end of her bed closest to the window to shade it a bit but it's not done any good.

I'm just glad she's stopped asking for the first feed of the day so that I get a little bit extra sleep when her dad is getting ready for work.

You could try having your older child on a bed right next to yours, so they can just climb over if they need you in the night. Or so your Dh can escape if it all gets too hot and crowded!

The only important thing when the baby arrives is the order you lie in in bed for safest possible co-sleeping (baby, you, then older child and Dh in whatever order they like). baby next to child not a good idea when they are teeny wee, nor baby next to Dh officially though I've come across plenty of people who do that.

i co-slept for at least part of the night with dd right up until ds was born. she'd start in her cot and anytime from 3/4am she'd end up in our bed.

she did this for all of 3 days after ds was born and then decided she'd had enough she's always ben a girl who likes her space and she was not at all impressed with being crowded in the bed with all of us, lol.

i still end up with either or both of them in my bed sometimes (dd has migrated in most nights this week) but their easy enough about sharing us.

would love to pick up a king size mattress before baby arrives though, just to ease the cramping a bit those mornings they all want to be in the bed.

Hi all.
I know this is slightly OT, but are any of you currently co-sleeping with your toddler, and if so, what do you plan to do when the baby arrives?

DD sleeps with us and I seriously doubt she could be persuaded to sleep without me. Since becoming pregnant I've instituted a rule that she doesn't feed o/n, and mostly she's ok with that, but lately she's been waking up at night asking for milk. I generally grunt something about it being sleeping time, and she protests but eventually goes back to sleep. But I'm having scary visions of being sandwiched between two children, each wanting night feeds, and the thought is making me feel exhausted! I'm not sure if I should be trying harder to move DD into her own bed or what. It wasn't really an option before now as we didn't have space; we've now just moved house so we could do it, but I'm now 28 weeks pg and I'm worried that doesn't leave enough time.

Sorry, bit of a ramble there.

Bumping up.

How are we all doing?

whatawally, i found with both of mine the best way to deal with jealousy of any kind towards the new baby is just to talk about the baby so much that it becomes normality to them. every second sentance i mention the baby and tell them things about it like that it will have to drink mama milk as it won't eat anything else and that babies cry but they can help by showing baby how to be good and playing with baby.

dd weaned when i was 3 months preg with ds but i spent the whole preg discussing mama milk with her and telling her the baby was going to drink mama milk like she used to. she used to climb into my bed every morning and shove her sophie bear up to my boobs for a feed

with ds it's a bit differant, dd always liked the idea of being the big girl and the baby being a baby so that made it easy. ds has spent the last few months only referring to the name Baby and acting like one at all times, he's going to be whole year older when dc3 arrives than dd was when he was born so it's a bit odd! everytime he starts chanting 'baby, baby, baby' at me now i say 'where's the baby?' and he giggles and says 'in your tummy' and gives my belly a kiss, then says 'i the big baby'.

as for mama milk, he knows tha baby will be drinking it and also knows he won't be forced to stop but he'll have to share. we have kittens in the house at te minute and i've made a big point of showing him how the kittens share their mama milk with each other and that there's enough to go around.

i just asked him, 'caleb, are you going to share mama milk with the baby when the baby comes?' and he got really excited and shouted 'yeah, yeah, yeah'

if you knew how clingy and cross about baby he was just a couple of months ago you'd be amazed at how much differance simply talking to him incessantly has done!

Hi, another latecomer to this thread! I'm 14 weeks pregnant and have a DD who will be 2 next month. She is also very possessive and seems to think she owns my boobs! I had thought of trying really hard to wean her off in the next month or so but reading some of the messages above it looks like a lot of toddlers self wean during pregnancy? Like WAW, I'd meant to give up at 1 year but we both love it! Its so hard knowing what is best!

Tink will be 2.6 - 2.8 when the baby is born (expecting an early baby). I've just decided to go with what she wants.

Have you thought about teaching etiquette instead of weaning? It sounds like it might be a better idea. Just have a think about the rules you'd like to follow and gently start using them. For example, when is she allowed to ask for a feed, who do the boobs belong to...

Tink is going through a stage of putting her hand down my bra and I have to keep telling her to take her hands out because they're Mummy's.

Thank you for your kind messages.

I have told her on numerous occasions that they are not actually her boobs, but they belong to mummy. I dont know maybe if she's just in that "mine" stage, if you know what I mean.

I'm a bit stuck as a I do partly want to wean her off, due to the fact that she will be nearly 3 by the time the newborn is here. And as I had only originally intended feeding her untill she was 1 I have extended that a fair bit. Tho I should add that the reasons for extending were because both dd and myself really enjoy our nursing times together (it's like our special time).

You do make a good point tho of trying to get her to see the baby as her's, it could work. Although given her nature I wander if that could lead her to being over protective of the liitle one and not letting anyone else in.

I know I have a long time to work these things out really. Just need to make my mind up what i'm doing really. As would like to cause minimal to no discomfort or anxiety for her really.

WAW, Hiya, congratulations

I did nurse though pregnancy and am now tandem nursing my 2 year old DD and newborn DS.

"But she is very possesive of "her" boobs."
I would address this as a matter of importance, they are not 'her' boobs they are yours and she should understand that.

As for sharing with the new baby, we read a 'New Baby' book to our DD over and over again. When we got to feeding the baby page I explained that I would give the baby milk and DD would also have milk, as there was enough for both of them.

I also encourage DD to think of the baby as her's and it seems to have worked. She calls DS 'her baby' and is very loving towards him

Hello, welcome to the thread, of course you can join us and congrats on the new pregnancy.

I can't answer most of your question as I'm only pregnant with my second so don't know how things will go. My thoughts are though that to forcibly wean a child so attached would be traumatic but to do it this close to having another baby could also cause a lot more problems than it solves. You could find that she loves to share with "her baby". We've deliberately bigged Tink up as far as the next baby is concerned, it's her baby, she points to the pictures and my belly and tells everyone "my bobba".

Hello everyone,
Do you mind if I join you? Idontbelieveit kindly linked me to your thread. I am nearly 9 weeks pg and am still feeding dd3 who was 2 in July.

I have been very seriously contemplating trying to gently wean her off. She is very attached to her feeds and has between 1 and 3 feeds daily.

But she is very possesive of "her" boobs. Even daddy isn't allowed near them. I am worried that this could cause friction when the new baby arrives.

Do you all intend to carry on feeding when your newborn arrives?
Does anybody else have a dc that has taken possession over your boobs? and does that worry you at all?

Thanx for your help.

You just tell them it's a master at