Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I really don't want to bf anymore, please help :0(

140 replies

Dalrymps · 01/09/2010 13:44

Ds is 22 weeks old. Bfing has been very difficult from the start. I saw a lactation consultant and she helped me with latching on when I was close to giving up and I managed to carry on. My right nipple has a crack, it has never healed although doesn't bleed and according to my gp isn't infected so I don't need antibiotics.

I think the larch is possibly just not quite right on that side, it gets sore for a few days if he's had a bad feed then it slowly becomes bearable again. The 'goo'd' side can get sore too but is mostly ok.

He's teething and had started clamping down on my nipples whilst feeding just to add to my pain Sad.

I keep trying him with a bottle as to be honest I never even thought I'd get this far (only managed 5 weeks ebf with ds1). he won't take it, tried tommee tippee and mam.

I feel like I really want to stop now, I can't take it anymore and feel I'm feeding avaunt my will as I have no choice.

Please tell me what I can do to get him to take a bottle.

I don't mean to sound like I for care, I feel very guilty for wanting to stop and I know none of this is his fault but I've just had enough Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Dalrymps · 01/09/2010 13:47

Feeding against my will

Sound like I don't care

  • stupid iPhone!
OP posts:
tiktok · 01/09/2010 13:50

nct.org.uk/info-centre/decisions/view-6

Dalrymps, you sound so down :(

Have a look at the above link which has lots of tips on how to get a bf baby to take a bottle. There may be ideas in it you have not tried.

Original poster
Dalrymps · 01/09/2010 13:54

I do feel down. I don't know if you remember but I had a hard time bfing ds1 too... I wish I was more of a 'natural' bfer but I'm not and there's only do much nipple pain I can take Sad

Thanks for the link, will take a look.

OP posts:
japhrimel · 01/09/2010 13:55

Not what you asked about but could you get more help for a BFC as it sounds like latch issues are part of the problem here?

mummynoseynora · 01/09/2010 13:58

if you have a crack that won't heal get back to the docs - I had a tiny infection in one and they prescribed and antibiotic cream - whilst saying it didn't look infected but as it wouldn't heal there must be something going on - a couple of days later and it was magic :)

tips on bottles -

get DH/ DP / DM - anyone else, to give it, try expressed milk for taste ?

Original poster
Dalrymps · 01/09/2010 14:05

Japhrimel- I could ask for more help I know but I've been shown several times what to do and I can't get it right all the time. Plus, I just don't feel like continuing any more, I know that sounds bad but I don't.

I showed the doc the crack and she was pretty adamant I just had to keep working on my latch and applying lansinoh. Maybe I'll go back again although I'm thinking if I manage to stop it might heal by itself?

OP posts:
DizziDoll · 01/09/2010 14:30

dalrymps have they checked for thrush? That can stop nipples from healing properly and is very painful.

I suffered from thrush when Ds was newborn and managed to get rid of it with the gel and cream. The pain went after three days.

It doesn't solve going to bottles but if that iis what you have, the cream might make the last few days/weeks more comfortable.

Original poster
Dalrymps · 01/09/2010 14:52

Well I can't see any symptoms eg White spots in his mouth/ pink shiney nipples. What else might I be looking for?

OP posts:
poppydog10 · 01/09/2010 15:18

I found when getting my ds to take a bottle that she wouldn't take it when anyone was holding her, so we put down on her play mat and put the teat to her cheek so she turned her head towards it. We did it when she wasn't hungry, so she wasn't too upset.

Original poster
Dalrymps · 01/09/2010 15:20

Interesting, I'll give that a try. Asked dh to pick up a nuk bottle on his way home to try. I hope we can get him on to bottles with as little stress as poss for him.

OP posts:
FlipFantasia · 01/09/2010 15:23

Oh Dalrymps - so sorry to hear you being so down Sad.

You have been doing an amazing job with DS2 - getting to 22 weeks with all you've been through is an incredible achievement and you should feel proud of yourself. I'm certainly proud of you - I had my own crack issues that were sorted out at 10 weeks and I just don't think I'd have been able to make it as long as you have with the pain from the crack.

Others will be able to help with the taking of a bottle - my DS has taken one (mainly from DH) whenever I've needed to leave expressed milk to go out so no experience there.

But I do think you should go back to the doctor and insist on antibiotics. My own crack didn't look infected either (and didn't bleed) but after only 2-3 days of a week long course of antibiotics it was significantly better. It was gone before the course was finished (though I do have an odd looking scar there now). I too had lots of help re latch from BFCs so knew it wasn't really a latch issue (and thrush had been treated and all other cracks had cleared up). The GP when I went suggested cabbage leaves, which are recommended for engorgement Hmm, so I just nodded and said that I'd already tried them.

At the very least your GP should take a swab to see if there is a staph aureus infection or not.

I really feel for you, as the feeding for me became so much less painful, is in fact actually enjoyable, once my crack finally healed.

lynniep · 01/09/2010 15:26

Im sorry you're so down. I cant suggest anything for your pain, I'm sorry, but if you really want to move to bottles it could be a case of trial and error, which unfortunately can be expensive.
My two were both mix fed - I was v. lucky and they both accepted a bottle, but not straight away - I had to get the teats right.
My eldest DS only liked tommy tippee nuby - the silicone ones with the dimples on the teat, and wide necked. I'm not sure they do them anymore.
My youngest is 9 months and was more difficult. I finally found he liked latex teats better - Nuk were the ones he accepted (and he would only take the Nuk latex dummies too). I think they're quite close to the sensation of mums nipple. Now he's older he's not so fussy and will take any teat I offer him!
Good luck to you Lx

Original poster
Dalrymps · 01/09/2010 15:30

Thanks for the support flip. I will go back to the doc if the crack doesn't heal... It's hard trying to get him to take a bottle when I feel guilty offering one in the first place. Dh is trying too but having no more luck.

We've been trying him once a day, sometimes not even every day or not for a few days. Usually try evening when he's not too hungry and calm. Have tried ebm and aptamil.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dalrymps · 01/09/2010 15:35

Lynnie- thanks for the tips. Yes it can be expensive and we don't have a lot of money... Already bought the tommee tippee and mam ones! Dh didn't want to try any more bottles as it was getting expensive but I've told him we'll have to try another cause I can't carry on like this.

OP posts:
donttrythisathome · 01/09/2010 18:38

Just sending sympathy. Someone on here recommended doidy cups. When my nipples were sore I slathered on the lansinoh. Really helps after a while.

lynniep · 01/09/2010 18:41

give me your address (privately obviously - I think you can send private messages on here but have never tried. theres a contact poster button on each posting that looks promising!) and I'll send you a nuk and an avent to try. If I can find them! If you want that is. I know its a bit yak using other babies bottles but obviously you can sterilise them and it would just be to try it out.

CarGirl · 01/09/2010 18:42

With dd2 who was a very very reluctant bottle taker we just persisted until she accepted it was a bottle or go hungry. It was only with dd3 that I learnt bf doesn't have to be the tiniest bit painful at all, dd2 just didn't open her mouth wide enough and if you delatched her she would refuse to eat Sad

I don't think it's about the type of milk or bottle they just happen to be personalities who really don't like change IYSWIM, the younger 2 couldn't care less!

Original poster
Dalrymps · 01/09/2010 19:11

Don't try - thanks for the sympathy. I have a doidy cup and lansinoh but would rather he take the milk from a spouted cup or bottle just for convienience when we're out and about. Will try the doidy if I get desperate though! Lansinoh helps a lot but not enough for me to want to carry on.

Linnie - thanks for the offer, that's so kind! Dh has brought a nuk home and tried him with it whilst I popped out. He sucked a bit, gagged a bit then refused it and cried then fell asleep Sad this is so hard. He'll be hungry when he wakes so dh will try him again but I don't want to distress him. If I think trying the avent would help I'll message you Smile

Cargirl - I suspect it is more to do with personality than bottles but trying the different tests makes me feel more proactive iyswim?

OP posts:
CarGirl · 01/09/2010 19:14

I wonder if you try him on a bottle when he is asleep but near waking so he will dream feed and then wake up sucking IYSWIM.

I won't tell you about the fun when we weaned her Wink she's not too bad now that's she's 8 though.

lynniep · 01/09/2010 19:47

The nuk will have come with a silicone teat as standard though. Might be worth trying the latex as they have a completely different texture and are a lot more flexible. I'm not sure if I have any of the small ones left though. Let me know if you want to try it and I'll look. Lx

ValiumtheConqueror · 01/09/2010 19:55

Dalrymps- I don't have much to contribute, but just wanted to give you my support. You know how much I hated bfing [insert MN gasps of horror here] but please know that doing what is best for you is as important as what is doing best for him. I only fed for 14 weeks so take my hat off to you for persisting for so long.

ValiumtheConqueror · 01/09/2010 19:56

Have you tried a sippy cup/cup feeding to get him used to the milk and then starting on a bottle?

Original poster
Dalrymps · 01/09/2010 19:58

Cargirl - ds 1 was hell to wean, dreading it!

Linnie- we got one with a latex teat Smile

Vallium - thanks for the support x

OP posts:
Original poster
Dalrymps · 01/09/2010 20:05

Well dh has tried to feed ds with the nuk bottle on and off for an hour and a half and he just kept intermittently crying (apart from when he fell asleep in the middle for about 45 mins). I'm now sat here bfing him again from the 'good' side. I think I'm just going to have to feed from one side for now if he won't take the bottle, anyone know how long it'll take my breast to adjust to the demand? I don't want to have to do this long term though

OP posts:
GetThePartyStarted · 01/09/2010 20:24

Dalrymps - don't know if you have tried Breastflow bottles here - they sell them in Mothercare and on Amazon. I know it is a nightmare buying bottle after bottle, but several of my friends with EBF babies found they took these where all others failed (we had a bit of a bottle swapping session!)

Well done for getting this far by the way, and don't feel guilty - you sound like a fab mum and I'm sure your ds be happy with the bottles once you get over the initial transition :)

Swipe left for the next trending thread