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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

My beautiful mum died tonight

59 replies

mandywb · 03/12/2014 22:34

I am totally heartbroken. We knew it was coming as were told there was nothing more could be done, but I think I am in shock.

I don't know how we carry on without her, she was only 65 and everything to us. My dad is devastated, as is my brother.

We stayed in the hospital with her all last night and today and leaving her there alone tonight after it happened was the hardest thing I think I have ever done.

I told my children when I came home (10 and 12) who were very close to her and adored her. I expected them to be a bit upset but both were so so upset, their reaction took me by surprise a little.

I don't know what I am going to do without her. We were so close, we spoke every day, went out walks every weekend and just chatted.

I feel numbness, pain, immense hurt and fear because I won't be able to see/speak to her ever again.

OP posts:

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autumnboys · 03/12/2014 22:36

I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

needastrongone · 03/12/2014 22:36

I don't have any clever words, but I am very sorry for your loss.

Your mum sounds lovely.

ExitPursuedByABear · 03/12/2014 22:37

So sorry.

You will be fine because she was your mum and that is what she would have wanted.

Stay strong.

cherrymix · 03/12/2014 22:38

How terribly sad for you and your family. She must have been a very special person to all of you.

Crikeyblimey · 03/12/2014 22:38

So sorry for your loss.

My mum died 2 years ago. Shot isn't it?

Be kind to yourself xx

Crikeyblimey · 03/12/2014 22:40

Sorry for the typo.

Should have said 'shit isn't it'.

I have no other words but just know people are thinking if you and even though it feels like the world should stop for a while, and yet it seems to carry on, I have stopped for a moment with you x

LakeOfDreams · 03/12/2014 22:41

I'm sorry for your loss, sounds like you had a wonderful relationship with her

ExitPursuedByABear · 03/12/2014 22:41

Did you hold her hand as she she died? I did for mine. She was there when I came into the world, and I was there when she left it. I then went home to bed and dd who was 3 at the time held my wrist and I felt the whole cyclical nature of everything.

TheWindowDonkey · 03/12/2014 22:41

Sorry for your loss Mandywb. .

apotatoprintinapeartree · 03/12/2014 22:42

I am so sorry and can remember those feelings.
Sometimes our closest family can surprise us with their reaction, because there is no right or wrong way to feel.
Bless you all x

Ikeameatballs · 03/12/2014 22:42

I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely mum.

It sounds like she has given you a lifetime of happy memories, love and kindness to treasure.

PacificDogwood · 03/12/2014 22:43

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss, my sincere condolences.

It sounds like she was such an important part of your lives and that she will be sorely missed for a long time.

AlfAlf · 03/12/2014 22:45

I'm so sorry for your loss.
My mum is the same age, it's no age to die :(
In a way I think it's very healthy that your children were so upset, they must have loved her dearly.

theeternalstudent · 03/12/2014 22:45

sorry for your loss of your lovely mum

Bimblepops · 03/12/2014 22:45

I'm so sorry for your loss. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to grieve. Your mother was obviously very loved and she would have known and felt that tonight. Take care. X

TeaMakesItAllPossible · 03/12/2014 22:47

I'm so very sorry. Sending you thoughts from afar

DoItTooJulia · 03/12/2014 22:49

awww, honey, love and strength to you.

Drania · 03/12/2014 22:52

I'm so sorry for your loss. There's nothing to say that can make it better.

Take care of yourself.

storytopper · 03/12/2014 22:52

So sorry to hear about the loss of your lovely Mum. 65 is so young.
Maybe you could make a memory book of photos etc. with your DCs. They might also like to say a little poem or something at the funeral.

IdaClair · 03/12/2014 23:00

I am sorry that you lost your mum. I lost mine when she was 54. My dc was only a toddler. It is so unfair.

I made a memory book for her grandchildren. It has helped to keep her alive for them and we still speak about her a lot.

Be gentle with yourself

thewomaninwhite · 03/12/2014 23:00

There are no words but I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts. It sounds as if your Mum was an amazing lady.

PurpleAlert · 03/12/2014 23:08

So sorry for your loss. I lost my mum after a long and cruel illness in June last year. She was only 67. It's far too young- her own mother only died a few years before that aged 91 and her dad was 92 when he passed away. Just not fair that she didnt even make it to 70.

I found it very difficult to deal with my own DDs' grief. I felt like I couldn't really grieve the way I wanted to (ie. curl up in a ball and howl) as I didn't want them to be even more upset.

Be kind to yourself over the next few weeks.

Thinking of you and your family. x

sunnydaylucy · 03/12/2014 23:13

So sorry. No words to try to make it better. Be kind to yourself xx

mandywb · 04/12/2014 09:09

Thank you for your kind words. We did hold her hand until the end and that's comforting, but I just feel broken. x

OP posts:

MilkThistle187 · 04/12/2014 09:16

I'm so sorry, you must be devastated. Wishing you lots of love and strength. You can't imagine it now, but in time you will remember the lovely times you shared and you will be able to smile.

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