Confused and a bit worried, can anyone advise? This is a bit of an essay, sorry

[Greensleeves]

DH picked ds1 up from school today (he's doing half days for the rest of this week, just started in Reception). When they got home dh looked ashen and ds1 avoided my gaze. DH said "There's good news and bad news about school today" and told ds1 to tell me the bad news first. ds1 refused to tell me, dh insisted, etc, until I sid "Just tell me fgs!!".

So dh told me that ds1 had told him on the way home that he had been on the computer on a 5min timer, and after the 5 mins were up he was supposed to let the next child on. He said he refused to get off the computer, then lost his temper and shut the other child's fingers in the door on purpose. A teacher had to run for some ice because the other child's fingers were cut and bruised. DS1 was then put out in the corridor, where he proceeded to bang on the classroom door.

The good news apparently was that he counted to 140 and got a gem (big bloody deal )

DH said the teacher hadn't mentioned anything, but that there were hoardes of kids everywhere at pick-up and she couldn't easily have got to him.

So I questioned ds1, told him that if playing on the computer was going to have this effect on him then I would have to stop him from using the one at home and talk to his teacher about restricting his access to the school one (thread a couple of days ago about his new obsession with Wikipedia and google).

He then informed us that he ahd made the whole thing up and that none of it really happened. DH and I were totally nonplussed, so I phoned his teacher (most embarassing, he's only been there just over a week) and told her the story ds1 had given us. She said absolutely none of it happened, no fingers shut in the door, no shutting out in the corridor - that in fact ds1 had chosen not to go on the computer and had done a lovely tracing insted. Also that he had then tried to go on the computer during tidy-up time, but that the computer he chose was frozen and wouldn't work (which we agreed served him right). She also said that if anything on this scale HAD happened she would obviously have told us, which made me feel about two inches tall, but ds1 was very convincing and it was a very detailed fabrication!!

Does anyone have experience of this sort of fibbing, or any idea WHY he would want to get himself into trouble like this? I have had a gentle chat with him about it (starting with congratulations about the gem) but he just clammed up, wouldn't look at me (nothing new there) and muttered that he "wanted to see what would happen". He said the same thing at nursery when he turned on all the taps and flooded the toilets, and when he kicked all the heads off the new spring daffodils

Aaaaaarrrghhh!!!

[TheQueenOfQuotes]

no real advice - but DS1 turned into a mammoth "story teller" after starting school - he's starting to grow out of it now (just started in yr2 - 7yrs old). I came to the conclusuion that they really do want to see what happens - cause and effect and all that?????

[Kbear]

He is a rebel without a cause! Could it be that the naughty kids in class get more attention than the good ones and as he is a good one he is working out that it doesn't get you any attention?

[Greensleeves]

He isn't one of the good ones though, he's a royal pain in the arse!! (much as I love him, obv )

[francagoestohollywood]

What strikes me is that he's made up a story regarding the computer, which you say is his last passion. Like, look what I'd do for the pc?

[Greensleeves]

Franca, I hadn't thought of that, maybe that's it. I have been letting him use it at home, but not very much, because the strength of his attraction towards it is a bit unnerving - worse than the telly! He would sit googling stuff and collecting facts all day if I let him.

God, I felt like such a twat phoning his teacher, she will think we are all bonkers

[francagoestohollywood]

No, you did the right thing. I kind of wonder what'd be best, keep restricting his time on the pc (which is what I'd do) or let him indulge his passion for a while, so that he doesn't get too anxious about it? God, I really don't know. He certainly sound really into it! Go and buy the most detailed Encyclopedia in 12 volumes !

[stressteddy]

Hi there Greensleeves - you poor thing this sounds like a bit of a mare
Following on from Franca, maybe you could set him challenges on the pc like try to find out as much as possible about the Taj Mahal, or tigers ot penguins or cake

If you could link it to something relevant to his age or what he is doing at achool it could actually be quite helpful
Not sure if this is good advice or not
Do hope things calm soon

[Greensleeves]

I did think about just letting him at the computer whenever he wants, in the hope that his ardour will cool eventually - but his obsessions tend to last forever, he just grows new ones on top of the old ones. I am STILL scrubbing little underground signs off the walls and finding wonky felt-tip tube maps all over the place

Bloody high-maintenance child! I have bought him an internet-linked encyclopaedia for his birthday, I am seriously considering binning the damn thing now

[Greensleeves]

sorry x-posted stressteddy! The giving him little goals idea could work - should I set a time limit too, do you think?

[stressteddy]

ooh yes (hadn't thought of that) , timing it could make you feel a bit easier. PLus he'll defo get a break when he comes and reports back to you
You never know you could get him to research some useful stuff for you too!
Getting quite excited at the thought of how we could all use his talents now to help us find stuff!!

[bigspender30]

he sounds to me like a very intelligent wee boy. He is just thinking about things and checking out reactions

[francagoestohollywood]

(comes back refreshed after having eaten lots of hummous).
Yes, I was thinking along the lines of ST, like little project, a little "research" on whatever subject he might be interested, he could find the facts on the internet, print some pictures, cut them, stick them on a nice peace of paper and write down his discoveries... he'd mix "new" technologies to more old-fashioned ones .
Yes, we are still coming, thank you . In fact I was going to ask what could be a good present for him.. I always end up buying Lego, to save the company from bankrupt.

[Anchovy]

[Greensleeves]

I had another chat with ds1, didn't get much more out of him but agreed to let him use the computer this afternoon for half an hour. He liked the idea of me giving him little research projects to do, and we agreed on "pigs" as the first theme

I left him for quite a bit longer than half an hour because he seemed so engrossed, and when I called him fo dinner he brought me a piece of paper onto which he had copied:

"From all the derogatory cliches we hear about pigs, you would think that these animals..."

My cheeks ache from laughing at that (obv he has no idea what he's written, he's just sopied it!)

But I am still unnerved about the pying and the fact that he doesn't seem to grasp how serious it was to make up something like that. What if he is telling similar tall tales at school about his home life?

[stressteddy]

Oh well done - pigs eh??? Random topic
Loved his synopsis - brill
Try not to worry - you are aware of how he can spin a yarn now an can be on the lookout for it in the future

hug

[Fennel]

Sorry but am LOL, that one is going to age you prematurely I suspect.

It might get better when he goes to school full time, it wears them out a bit more.

I would suspect that letting him have free rein on the computer wouldn't cure any obsession, you can easily spend a lifetime online (not that I'd know anything about internet addiction, obviously )

We could start a new thread: Suitable presents for Greensleeves' ds1.

[imaginaryfriend]

My dd's just started Reception and we've had all kinds of weird tales which she ends by saying 'oh, actually, that didn't really happen I think it was a dream.' And one day she came out and said 'mummy, I was put in time out today for not listening.' I mentioned it briefly in passing to the teacher who denied it had ever happened! I asked dd today what happens when someone's put in time out and she said 'That's a very good question mummy. I really don't know' so I said 'didn't you get put in time out last week?' and she looked very shifty and said it had been a dream again.

I'm flummoxed.

I have to say, confusion aside, I'm so impressed your ds can use the computer like that. My dd can barely read let alone read from the computer. He must be way ahead of his classmates, perhaps that's what makes him feel slightly possessive about it?

[KTeePee]

Ah yes, I remember well the first time dd made up a long convincing story about something that happened to her at school (in reception also at the time). Won't bore you with the details, suffice to say I was very embarrassed, and totally gobsmacked that my little darling had learned to tell whoppers!

[francagoestohollywood]

pmsl at the derogatory cliches.
But I'm starting to understand why greeny hasn't been on mn that much... she's been ousted by her own flesh and blood!

[francagoestohollywood]

pmsl at the derogatory cliches.
But I'm starting to understand why greeny hasn't been on mn that much... she's been ousted by her own flesh and blood !

[Greensleeves]

the other day we found someone had typed "howdoigetonmumsnet" into Google, it wasn't any of my friend's children (I think it was fennel actually!) and it wasn't ds2, so it MUST have been ds1, the devious little blighter

Suitable presents for Greensleeves' ds1 -

reins
manacles
ball and chain
infeasibly large gobstopper

[francagoestohollywood]

x 2

[francagoestohollywood]

god, how will we know if it was greeny or ds1 who posted the message?

[Greensleeves]

it was quite sweet in a way, that he obviously thinks Google is some kind of actual sentient deity who answers questions on a personal basis

OTOH he can bugger off, this is MY computer, the little squit