devasted at ds having poor sight

[wishingiwas]

I feel devasted- my ds aged 2.5 has really poor sight (+4.5). I am so shocked as he appears to see fine - has he been going through life thus far not seeing?? Must have been awful.

We have been for glasses today - I cant see him keeping them on and I have to say they realy dont suit him. Sounds awfully but he does not look cute - just geeky. I will of course be mega positive to him and all.

He has a lazy eye too which is why I took him - I imagined they would patch it - but apprently not at this stage - just the glasses which I did not expect.

I know it is stupid as eleswhere in the smae hospital a friend son is struggling with 'real' sickness. But I feel so upset. Even dh was close to tears.

[BigBadMummy]

My mum could have written your post about me.

I had glasses from 18 months. Good old National Health ones, pink for girls, blue for boys and I had to wear them with an elastic band round the back to keep them on my head.

And I too had a lazy eye so had to wear a patch.

I know its hard to stay positive but you will soon get used to him wearing glasses. And he might not keep them on but he will soon realise how much better it is when he can see! No more bruised knees from walking into the table!

I got contact lenses at 15 and now after 25 years my dad still says he thinks I have a "glasses face".

So whilst you don't think he suits them now, that is because you are not used to seeing him wear them.

Is he going to be operated on for the lazy eye?

Oh and investigate getting a spare pair . Boys will be boys and glasses get broken ALOT!!

[fedupwithdeployment]

My sympathy to you. I too would be really upset in your situation. Not sure if it will make you feel better, but I have had glasses from aged 8 (couldn't see blackboard) and am -8 in one eye. If you woke up like that tomorrow it probably would be hideous and scarey, but as I have always been that way, I know no different and just accept it. Friends keep asking why I don't get my eyes lasered - well I have asked, but I am too far gone for it to be recommended. I am not too concerned by this - just glad I can see perfectly with specs / lenses.

I am sure your little boy will cope v well. x

[cba]

I know how it feels my ds is 7.5+ each eye. No signs of improvement and has worn glasses since he was sixteen months old, he is now seven. He will cope and it will just become part of him. ds has said he is getting laser when he is a grown up. bless him

[misdee]

i dont want to dismiss your feeling, which are obvioisuly very real to you.

but yab slightly u. its not the end of the world. he will keeop the glasses on eventually as he will learn thathe can see with them on.

it will take a bit of time to get used to him wearing glasses, but soon you will think he looks 'odd' without them.

dd4 pics from when she didnt wear glasses, well she looks gorgeous. when she got her first glasses, she still looked gorgeous. Now if take a pic of her without her glasses, i have to check as it doesnt look like her iyswim.

keeping the glasses on were a lot easier than getting dd4 to keep a patch on at that age.

[misdee]

dd4 is +9 btw.

[JaneS]

That is a big shock - I would be really upset too. But don't beat yourself up thinking it will have been 'awful' for him. The problem's been found now, after all. I don't know if it helps, but I have a sight problem that is quite minor, but it causes me to see everything double unless it's quite far away. Nobody knew about this until I was 22 because I honestly thought that was how everyone else saw things. Your DS won't have been going around feeling sad that he couldn't see too well, he will have felt normal, and now he will feel so excited he can see more. Please don't make yourself feel bad thinking how it will have been for him.

Good luck to him and to you.

[LesbianMummy1]

ds age 3.9 got glasses 6 weeks ago for same circumstances +7 in each eye we told him what the glasses were for and how they would help him he has not damaged them or refused to wear them at all he said everything looked big when he first got them now he wears them like he has always had them and is amazingly good about putting them on first thing in the morning and putting them away for bed

[LesbianMummy1]

ds2's lazy eye is so much better already :-)

[tootyflooty]

it's come as a shock to you, but just be relieved that his vision can now be corrected. I'm sure he looks absolutly lovely in his glasses you're just not used to seeing him in them . My dd and her class mates all have pretend specs from clairs accessories which they put on at school. they aren't the embaressment they were years ago. You can get sports ones and prescription goggles etc. he will be very well catered for if he has to wear glasses in the long term. For him it is probably wonderful as he can finally see the world as it's supposed to be . Just give yourselves all time to get used to it

[BramblyHedge]

I have a lazy eye. I never had patches but was operated on when I was 4. Unfortunately there was no follow up and when I was 18 my optician said I still had a lazy eye - they thing is, as it was all I knew, it didn't really bother me. It explained why I was clumsy and couldn't perceive distance very well but it isn't a big thing. I wear glasses, my ds (4) wears glasses and I think it is just one of those things and not something to get too upset about. DS got his glasses when he was just 3 and has always been fine wearing them much to my surprise. We started with some subtle Mr Bump ones but now he has 'big boy' ones.

[kolacubes]

If your ds really won't keep glasses on, do take him back, as it took some adjustment at this age to get prescription right for my son, but once they had it right, he wouldn't remove them, because the world was all in focus.

My advice would be to invest in the extras to enable full participation without worrying about the glasses getting broken, or him having to take part without glasses on. So a pair of sports glasses and prescription swimming goggles cannot recommend highly enough.

BTW my ds is +7.5 and +6.5 and lazy eye.

[mumbar]

My DS 5 got glasses bout 6 weeks ago too for astigmatism. Always knew it was likely as ex-p and I both have it and both are short sighted. DS slightly long sighted tho.

Don't feel bad many parents like me don't know theres a problem until the school nurse picks it up in their year R checks.

I have to admit to giving him choc crisps etc at first when watching TV so his hands were busy and now he realises he can actually see better no problems.

Perhaps speak to friends family b/c I find that when people try to be positive ' oh you look lovely in your glasses' etc he takes them off so best not to draw attention to it.

[mrsbean78]

I think a lot of people feel very shocked if there's anything at all different about their child (at first). He'll get glasses and look as cute as a button.. so YABU but I understand it.

[MissMarjoribanks]

I'm -9.5 in one eye and -11 in the other and have worn glasses since the age of 3. I also had to wear an eye patch for a while.

I would have given my right arm to be able to wear the glasses that are available for children now. They're great, in fact, as I have a narrow face, my current pair are from the childrens range. It's not something that children seem to take the piss out of anymore either - my 17yo cousin went through school completely unscathed, whereas 15 years earlier I was teased mercilessly.

[ElfOnTheTopShelf]

I think its harder to accept something for your child if it is something that you have bad memories from your own childhood. I recently felt particularly traumatised when DD was referred to a speech therapist, having had to endure years of therapy myself.

Eyesight (or lack of good eyesight!) is something I also had a small confidence crisis about, I wore glasses from being fairly young, and I hated them. I think I wore glasses from about 6/7 until I was 19, when I got contacts, and I wore contacts until last year (I'm 28 this year) when I had laser eye surgery.

I dont even remember being picked on for having to wear glasses; I just didn't like them. But, I look around now and loads of kids seem to wear them; they seem more normal and common than when I was a child, which I think makes it easier.

To be fair, glasses for kids are a lot trendier than when I first wore them! You, and your DS, will get used to them soon

[mumbar]

My Ds actually looks more like me ( I need mine full time) so secretly I like him in them!!!

[seimum]

It is devastating when you find out - my DD1's longsightedness & lazy eye was not spotted till she was 6 (her other eye was fine so she passed the school nurse checks).
Now when we look at photos of her as a toddler, we're amazed that we missed it.

At least your DS's problem has been spotted early, so it will be easier to correct - and with the glasses he should find ball games etc a lot easier as he develops proper stereoscopic vision. (thus making him less geeky)

[Macforme]

My son had his first pair +4.5 at 5 months of age and has steadily needed stronger ones. It's a surprise on little faces at first but these days so many kids wear glasses earlier as it's picked up early, that give it a few weeks and it will feel like they have always been part of his face

YANBU to be a little upset.. but devastated??? It's really not an issue with teasing these days, and the glasses these days are so nice

I WAS devastated when I was told my son would never live independently because of his learning disability and autism, ... having +8.50 glasses paled in comparison...!

Don't worry about him 'not seeing' til now... small children's eyes can compensate for longsightedness very well... it's only as they get older they can't. My son's orthoptist explained that to me!

[JaynieB]

YANBU - its a shock and you might be feeling a bit guilty perhaps that you hadn't noticed. I'm very short sighted (over -10 now) and also almost deaf in one ear - neither of which my Mum had noticed, plus her nickname for me was 'cloth ears' (so maybe she had noticed a bit) and she was truly mortified and upset when it was diagnosed and I ended up being the speccy kid.
The deafness was only discovered by a random test at school.

[Devendra]

Hey try not to be devastated.. My DD has been wearing + 7.5 since she was 2.5. She was premature so very possibly due to that. She aslo had a severe squint/lazy eye and had to wear a patch for up to 2 hours a day for a while and had surgery to correct the squint.

She is now 15 and has worn glasses every day. She is gorgeous, confident and I am so so proud of her. She has had a tiny bit of teasing when younger but these days the selection of specs is amazing and choosing and fitting them is great fun for both of us. I am happy to pay extra money on top of the voucher as I think its important that she feels good.

She once said to me aged about 6 that she didnt like having to wear glasses.. I remember feeling reaaly sad for her but told her she didnt have a choice and they were part of her.

She looks odd without them now... they are completely part of who she is, I can't remember her without them. She has some really funky specs and its not a problem to anyone.

You have just found out so its all new.. but don't be devastated. Get some different specs if you don't like the ones he has. You will HAVE to get used to it!

Good luck.

[Cazzybaby]

YES you have a happy healthy little boy and should count your blessings.

[Celery]

There are a lot more children wearing glasses these days than when I was a child. I guess problems are picked up quicker now.

My whole family are shorted sighted and wear glasses. Myself and my brothers since we were small. It's really no big deal, honestly. I guess if you're not used to it, it's a surprise and a shock, but it's not really a disability. SO many people need glasses. It's never occured to me that it's anything other than part of who I am. I've never been teased, never had any negative feelings about it. I rarely think about it, to be honest.

I prefer to wear glasses, unless it's sunny, when I wear contact lenses with sunglasses.

There are lots of cute kids wearing glasses in my childrens' preschool and school.

[Piglett]

I don't think you are. Two ears ago i could have written our post (I probably did). My son was prescribed at 2 and also has a lazy eye. I think my initial problem was that neither his father or me need glasses and I went to the appointment fully appreciating that he would need a patch for his lazy eye but not at all expecting to find out that he had bad eyes (other than the lazy issue IYSWIM). People told me I would get used to the glasses and I didn't believe them but it is true, now I think he looks a little bit odd without them on - not him somehow.
We were lucky in that he took to his glasses after a day or so (he obviously cottoned on to the fact that the world was clearer with them on). I think the patching started a couple of months after we got the glasses, now that was hard, ou are covering up the good eye and expecting a two year old to accept that they will have to only use an eye that doesn't work very well, and at the beginning he really couldn't see very much when patched. You mustpersever though as the more he wears it at the beginning the easier it will become (because the lazy eye starts to work better). My little boy goes to nursery when I work and I found it much easier to get him to wear it at nursery (the carers there did not give in to him and he didn't try to manipulate them)and then he wore it at home without too much trouble. We use fabric patches because he was allergic to the plaster and I think these work really well. Good luck and don't be too disheartened!