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Or not?

A "to think" would have been good.

<Exhausts renewed Mr Rochester whilst waiting>

'appy ending is impossible, as ze ending of ze last thread means I have to hunt down Umami and kill her.

<has strong hysterics>

<Eyes up the other foolishly unattended spouses hungrily>

But Leonie dear, you looked so fetching (I imagine as I couldn't see it)

Non, non, non, you understand nussink!

Umami <sob> 'as forcibly married my Avon to zat wretched pamphleteer in bloomers. And cast me as a Dowager.

I 'ave ze right 'ump.

don't be sad Leonie - it will deepen your wrinkles and you need to be careful at your age...

<<pag picks up on plot movement>>

Perhaps there is someone you would like me to marry you to, Dowager dear?

Vous avez raison! Tiens! I ave lost all ability to read! My eyes are failing after such honeymoon excitement as I have enjoyed.

I thought twas you had married the bloomered one! Dowager, eh? <Turns away to hide a smirk>

Ah Mistress Pag, how does your new spouse?

The Widow arrives...where have you put the Sheik? Is he comfortable out there with the camels? Dost want sherbert?

he does very well except I am quite done in.
My fingers have lost all feeling and I am endlessly in bed.
( he is very lax at attending to the great fire in the drawing room)

The Sheikh is resting his throbbing loins in a bucket of ice. Yes, do send him out a sherbert would you, and perhaps some devilled eggs? He needs protein to keep his stamina up.

Can I offer you any help stoking the fire Pag?

<utters most unladylike words. Accompanied by guttersnipe gestures>

<wrinkles deepen by the second - thanks, Madame Pagwatch!>

Dear lord! What a man he must be! Twill be that Araby blood no doubt. Why hast lost finger feeling, dear Paggy?

<Whispers> what are we to do with the Dowager? Shall we offer her the footman?

I do believe the Duke of Salford is a single man in possession of good fortune...

Ah, my darling Miles!

<<floats in with a dreamy smile!>>

He certainly picked up a trick or two out East!

Phwoooar! <Entirely reconsiders earlier opinion. Feels pistons crank into gear>

Does he haunt these parts dear Madame D'jibouti?

Swift work, Dowager!

Let us hope that's all he picked up, dear Mimi..Has he unpacked his trousseau?

I think he haunts Leonie's parts, Mrs Rochester.

The Dowage is much comelier than I had visioned. And see how she smiles so! He must have told her a pretty jape or two.

I shall set to it ( the fire !) - it is very very cold but by working this sturdy poker thus, I will have us warm again in no time.

Thank you for your offer of help Umami - if you will just grasp the shank here....

what are you doing dear woman ?

<<swoons>>

Mme Paggy, you are altogether incorrigible..you truly have essence of Benny deep within you.

I say, the Dukes of Avon and Salford together!

<<fans self furiously>>