I'm of mixed opinion on this one tbh, I'm a non smoker and have never smoked but personally I dont agree with the persecution of smokers, its their choice to smoke and I've gotta say if I was a smoker and someone came over and told me I shouldnt smoke in my own car I too would tell them to piss off and mind their own business!

However I've gotta say if someone needs a fag so much surely (for short journeys anyway) you could either have it before you get in or after you get out. It pisses me off when I'm driving behind someone and they chuck a fag end out of the window, I dont wanna drive over your still burning fag end nor do I want it blowing onto my windscreen.

A mate of mine who's a smoker chooses to smoke outside his own house, he does this as he doesnt want his 3 yr old son breathing in his cigarette smoke when he comes to stay over. Likewise, I've never asked my smoking friends to smoke outside my house but when they come and visit they do so anyway as theyre respectful of the fact I dont smoke, and its also to do with the fact I'm not what they call a whinging non smoker therefore they don't think "oh god another non smoker going on again" I as much as smokers find such rants counter productive it makes people switch off and not wanna listen.

Of course theres proven links to smoking and cancer, heart disease etc.......but somethings gonna get ya eventually, IMO take what pleasures you can get in life, if smokings one then so be it

Well smoking isn't just bad for those who do it, is it; once again, that old friend research, has shown that one of the most important variables as to whether a child will smoke or not, is whether his/ her parents do. So if you smoke, whether you do it in the car or not, you are shortening the odds of whether your children do. That for me, is quite a convincing argument as to why I as a parent shouldn't smoke - I would hate my DC's to.

As for the root of all evil thing, well, this is a thread about smoking so we're focussing on it. I'm sure we'll be just as energetic in our condemnation of drinking/ fruit shoots/ whatever the latest evil is...

But yeah, insulting strangers in the street is rarely a Good Thing.

slightly bad??
Hahahaha

And the way we have set things up you probably NEED a car and have little choice.

I just get fed up that over the years one thing at a time gets made into the root of all evil. Smoking is bad for smokers and probably is slightly bad in confined spaces over long periods for non smokers. So are a lot of things though and I could pick on alcohol and call that the root of all evil or a lot of other things.

I just wish people wouldn't get focused on one thing like it was the only danger and I'm not happy about those who insult strangers over it.

onagar...I do drive a car and presume that you will then say that pollution is adding to poor childhood health, and also potential danger of death/injury etc.

And you have a point!

Noonki, Wigglesworth mentioned that we were probably uneducated hence the comment.

And the obsessive do not really contribute to childrens safety as they tend to pick one cause of illness and pursue that at the expense of all else.

Do you drive a car btw?

nothing to do with education Ongar, all to do with caring about your children's health.

I smoke in my car with both windows open when i am on my own. When DD is in the car I do not smoke. I smoke in the garden not in the house and when DD comes into the garden i stand away from her.
However i did smoke when i was pregnant and i realy hate myself for it now, i wish i hadnt there is no excuse i knew the harm it could do but i still did it. I was very young and DD was unplanned but realy not much of an excuse, but there is nothing wrong with my DD she is perfectly healty, has never had a chest infection or ear infection, shes had a cough twice, she never gets colds and the only illness shes had is chicken pox. I have a friend who has never smoked and her children have asthma and infections all the time. This is not an excuse for doing it and i would never smoke whilst pregnant again i know it could have easily been my DD that was always poorly and i would never have forgiven myself if it was but sometimes it is just plain bad luck.

Smokers know that it is bad for them, they know it smells awful, they know it could kill them, but i would have to say as a smoker i pretend i dont know these things and stick my head in the sand. when i do think about them like now i feel bad and i dont want to feel bad who does. I know the solution is to give up but it is very hard.
Personally i wish they would make it illegal and then i would have to give up no choice.

But OP YANBU it is crap, i wouldnt say they were scum though. I have a friend who smokes she doesnt smoke in her car, she smoked when she was pg though and smokes at the back door so the smoke goes in her house where her babies are so i think shes just as bad.

^excema

Erm, smoking CAN cause asthma, cot death, exma (as its related to asthma) and ear infection.
I doubt that by being sulky about it, you will make the facts any different.

Yes everything bad is caused by smoking. Us uneducated people just don't get it do we.

OP I expect, there are somethings you do that people would describe you as scum for doing.

Their Kids, their fags, their cars, their addictions. Nothing will be done about it. However you are not meant to smoke whilst drivng anyway.

SMOKING
IS
GROSS
FULL STOP

Smoking when pregnant - sick (sorry)
Smoking around kids? - Either stupid, selfish, or just uneducated. I am not sure.

I hate smoking. My father has just become an amputee through smoking.
I grew up breathing in his smoke, and although it never did a lot of kids harm, there is no denying there is a link to cot death through it.
It causes ear infections and asthma in children (my partners little boy, who isnt mine, has just been found to have asthma. He is four. But it wouldnt have anything to do with the 40 fags a day he dealt with whilst he was in his mothers tummy, or the 40 fags a day he has inhaled since being born, would it?

I dont understand why people would want to shorten their lives when they have children?

"she said it was none of my business"

She was right. We don't need random people stopping us in the street. I always seemed to get the loon on the bus who wanted to tell me about his ferret/operation/hobby/whatever

I agree it is rank and I personally wouldn't let anyone smoke in the car with my DS, but they are their children.
My Mum used to do it all the time with us and with the windows shut and also in the house, I must have reeked of stale fags when I was little. Incidentally she gave up smoking when I was 16, better late than never I suppose and too late to stop me spending all my childhood inhaling her fag rot.

Hmm, it goes down to essentially zero, but while you are actually smoking, pollution levels are way higher than they should be. And it is bloody unpleasant for children even with the window open - I remember it well, coughing and wheezing, with the windows down.

YANBU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

littleboyblue, best of luck with stopping smoking....it can be difficult, BUT it is really worth it, imo

I think that is very brave of you posie. It may even have made her think when she calmed down!

Dh never smoked but was brought up with smoking parents (am sure they were kind enough to open the car windows too [hmm)

His mum in her 70's going strong (now an ex-smoke) Dh on the other hand has developed throat cancer at the age of 42.He is, to quote his oncologist "really unlucky" as it's a cancer normally associated with much older people who have smoked and drink a lot. Who knows what the real link is? No-one will ever know, but why chance it?

I told a woman smoking in her car that she shouldn't smoke with children in the car, she said it was none of my business and I said 'someone has to think about your son's lungs and the risk of cancer because you don't'.
This was a great plan, until I noticed two more sets of traffic lights! At the last set she got out of car and effing at me she charged over to my car, I wound up my windows and put 999 on my mobile and showed her.

I want a bumper sticker next time!!

I was behind a woman in a car the other day with a 'mum to be' sticker on her car. She was flicking fag ash out the wondow. i took a picture!

Sorry but window open or not I am with posie completely.

And if the windows are open it IME it blows all the ash in the back - nice

If you smoke in the car with your dcs then you are a twat.

I think 'scum' when I see it too. How bad for health it is with a window open I don't know, but parents thoughtless enough to smoke with dcs in the car aren't not going to smoke when it's raining needing the window closed.

Why do they need to do it?

I always say something when I see it, too.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella, Thanks for the link. That's much more like it.

Reading it now, but first good news is how it goes to essentially zero in between cigerettes providing you open a window. That will put an end to a lot of stuff about it lingering and catching cancer in a room that has a coat in that was once in a room where people had smoked.

Actually the text claims it doesn't go down so fast, but the text is all messed up isn't it. They pasted in one set of figures and then didn't like them and pasted in a different set.

The text also claims that having the window half open was worse than having it fully open which is a strange idea unless they mean having it open more lets more traffic fumes in. I could believe that.

Sweetkitty, you're entitled to not like the smell, but it's seperate from the whole "make it illegal because the scum are murdering children" thing that the OP thought everyone here would agree with.

I think it's yuck to stand next to a woman on a train who is wearing half a pint of cheap perfume, but I wouldn't insult her or want her arrested. That's just personal taste.

Hereis a clearly reported description of the NZ study.

But even smoking with the wondows down is yuck, what if it is raining do you roll the windows up?

I also don't want my children to stink of smoke, I stank as a child, so did my pets, everything. Was just telling DP about the countelss antibiotics I used to take for asthma and bronchitis as a child, probably not helped by my parents constantly puffing round me.

Can you tell I hate it?

Yeah, you need two windows open really for it to work properly. Though it still must get rid of most of it. There is a difference between being able to smell smoke and the concentration needed to be harmful.

Personally I've never enjoyed smoking in a confined space anyway.

Onager I can only speak from experience having had to sit in the back seat of countless car journeys as a child with the front window down.

Oh and anyone who drives a car around releasing poisonous fumes is scum and should be beaten to death with their own copy of the Dail Mail.

I don't smoke in cars anyway, but if you have the windows open while moving the air is being replaced constantly. I'm not sure why anyone would question that? It's not a virus where you only have to catch one tiny portion to be infected. Hands up anyone who has ever said (in a car or a house) "I'll just open the windows to get some fresh air"

That research seems very confused or maybe badly reported.

"Traveling with a smoker in a car even with windows rolled down can be compared with an evening spent in a smoky bar according to the researchers"

That's a pretty unscientific statement.

Most journeys would be shorter than an evening in a bar.

In a bar there might be someone smoking all the time whereas the driver of a car might only smoke once.

They make no mention of speed so either this is based on a stationary vehicle or it didn't occur to the researchers that it would make a difference.

"The study has carefully measured the particulates or separate particles released into the air when a person smokes a cigarette while seated in a car"

Well guess what. The amount will be identical to that of a person sitting in a bar or standing in a field in a hurricane. It's the amount reaching/surrounding others that would be the concern.

They also seem to be comparing other pullution with the smoking particulates (not all of which are harmful btw), but since it's not clear what they were trying to say I can't argue with that.

Here is a report about research that was done into this subject in New Zealand. Although rolling down the windows does help a little bit, it is by no means the same as not smoking at all`and in fact is only the equivalent of exposing your child to the same sort of atmosphere that they would endure in a smoky bar versus exposing them to an madly, ridiculously, OTT smoky bar.

The same results were obtained in other studies - one in Ontario, and I can't remember the others, but the results are pretty consistent across the board. Rolling down the windows doesn't work.

The smoke doesnt go out of the window, really it doesnt. You are kidding yourself.

littleboyblue - There are many things I fume at when people judge.

But certain things that directly harm children are nothing to do with judging but about giving a damn about the wellbeing of others.

If your child develops lung cancer as an adult do you not think they will judge you?

I have to go to bed now far too late for me.

Thank you barnsleybelle
I try to always be honest here and in RL about what I do and don't do. Like you say, people aren't always which leaves some feeling like they are the only ones iyswim. I know things like this do carry alot of seriousness and people become very strong in their feelings for it which is fine, but there is alot worse that happens out there. These things weren't even thought about 30 years ago.
I was about to say 'never did me any harm' in regards to my parents smoking in the car and house or whilst we were on their laps and so on, but realise that will start a whole new discussion on what right and wrong, but hey, I just said it anyway didn't I? But hopefully you can all see where I'm coming from (not as an excuse for smoking btw).
I do have certain standards. I wouldn't smoke whilst holding them, or over them or anything like that, but suppose I justify it by having the window open, as long as the car is moving, the smoke is going out of the window. I know by saying that you may call me uneducated again and think I am living in a cloud (of fag smoke) but that's just how I feel about it. As long as the windows are open, and 'clean' air is getting in, it's fine by me.
I will answer to my ds's on the day that they ask.

LLB - of course people are going to tell you their opinions of you doing it, did you expect otherwise? I have just been cyberly attacked on another thread about my snobbishness re jam sandwiches for goodness sake , people will always have an opinion when you give personal info!!

"but I am not putting your children at risk so am not really seeing why you're all taking the time and effort to personally attack me."
just because they're your children doesnt mean that others don't care about their well being.you have to be really naive to think that opening the window filters out the smoke..trust me,it does not.but,at least you are making an effort to kick the habit

LLB... FWIW... thank you for answering my question and for being so honest on this thread. I think many people are scared to be honest for fear of hassle and that is why threads are often so one sided.
I wish you every success in your stop smoking plan.

Ok. I know lots of people that don't even like their dc's seeing people smoke, so when I am around them, I pop out of sight. Yes, I know that smoking in a confined space with children isn't ideal and can be a danger to their health which is why I have the windows open.
I wouldn't smoke with someone elses children in the car because it's not my choice to make on what happens around them and what does not.
I think the last page of this thread has become a bit too personal really. So much for no personal attacks.
It is quite interesting to see that there was at least one other person who admitted to allowing this to happen in the car and they didn't get a cyber stoning..............clearly I have managed to upset and abger a lot of you, and I apologise that my actions have made some so angry and upset for my family, but there really is no need. I am the one that will have to live with herself if my children become ill through my actions, I don't expect them to ever understand why I do this as I hope to hell that they never take up this awful habit. I am also aware that I increase the risks of them smoking by doing it myself.
FWIW, I am on course to giving up. I have been attending a stop smoking support clinic, have been on patches for about a month and on thursday started a ourse of tablets that are meant to shut down the urge for nicotine.
Hopefully I'll manage to give up and then this issue will be over and I can hope that I haven't done any serious damage to them, so yes, I do know that it is not the best thing to do, but I am not putting your children at risk so am not really seeing why you're all taking the time and effort to personally attack me.

LLB... i don't think you're the worst parent in the world at all. I don't know you and would never judge you. I simply wonder your logic, that it's ok to do it with your own children in the car but not other peoples.
Wish you would just explain that point to be honest.

i agree with barnsleybelle.you obviously know it is wrong if you wouldn't do it to other people's children.also,what did you expect when you openly admit to causing your own children potential harm?a virtual hug?!!i think piggin' not!and i again ask..are your car journeys/strolls around town with buggy,so lengthly that you cannot wait until your dc not in the vicinity?

Ok fine. IMO, judging is a bit different than having an opinion. There are things that friends of mine do that I wouldn't, I don't think they're bad parents for it, I just don't agree. I don't judge them, they just get on and do it.
But let's just call it an end before it gets really silly, you all think I'm the worst parent in the world. Fine.

dances..had to laugh 'uneducated' then you spelt they're wrong!! she's got me hot under the collar too though.. and for her children

but...finding things 'unacceptable'....IS judging!

LBB you're just not being logical!

I would love littleboyblue to come back and explain just one question i have.
Why would you not smoke in the car with someone elses child in the car, but you would your own?

That just doesn't make sense to me. you either think it's ok or you don't? By saying you wouldn't do it with someones elses child in the car kind of makes me think you know it's a risk... if you do, then why risk your own?

YANBU - I was also brought up with both parents smoking in the car, even with the windows open it stunk, and I have a lovely scar on my leg where my dad flicked his buttend out of the window and it actually flew in the backseat and hit me on the thigh.

And to say that they are your children and you can do what you like is extremely selfish - where will it stop?

Am I the only person on this thread that has said they smoke in the car?
Interesting if so.
I am not uneducated, maybe I am a little selfish, yeah I'll agree with that.
I am well aware of what my job as a parent is too.
I haven't answered the questions and comments here, because it should be of no concern to anyone else, and frankly isn't any of your business.
The thread is about people smoking in cars, I have said I do it.
When I said earlier that some people do things I think are unacceptable, I didn't say I was judging them for it, just that I don't agree. You all don't agree with what I do. Fine, no need to gang up and start a virtual stoning though is there? I mean really?

poo...I spelt 'they're' wrong. LBB's made me hot under the collar!

littleboyblue - what a selfish cow you are.

There your children & you'll do what you like....nice...

OP - YANBU & I agree, although I'll add, uneducated scum

You said it,can't believe you justify this to yourself as ok.like i said,our job is to nurture and protect our children,not actively do this that are detrimental to their well being.shocking.i can see why you wouldnt want to continue this conversation,you clearly know you are in the wrong,but prefer to stick your head in the sand..i hope your children will understand your reasoning..hmmm,because i wanted to and i'll do what i like..doesnt really stand up does it?

I don't know why you join in on these debates either, if you're not prepared to answer any of the valid points made in response to you, with any sort of thoughtful answer.

LBB - Why wouldn't you smoke with other people's children in your car?
Are you children old enough to express an opinion on how they feel about it?

Wow littleboyblue, you really are ignorant aren't you? Not many people have made me angry, but you talk about your kids like they are your possesion. Kids truely are a gift, that many people dont get, and deserve to be treated like gold. They dont need mothers deciding that scientifically proven carsonogenic gases are ok to be inhaled. I do hope your attitude changes before you do them harm.

You shouldn't be comfortable with it.

You are exposing your children to something harmful & unnecessary.

Have a fag when you get home!

But, don't really know why I join in on these debates.
I'm off.

Scum of the earth me, aren't I?
I stand by it, I will do whatever I am comfortable with. I am comfortable smoking in the car if the window is open, that's it. I also smoke while pushing the buggy, and I smoke out of the window at home.
Quick someone report me.

well put jopie

To judge is NOT unreasonable! To judge is to have standards of behaviour that you believe in. We are allowed to judge. Why is it ok littleboyblue for YOU to say that others do things YOU find 'unacceptable' but NOT ok for other people to judge you smoking in front of your children?

It's illogical.

How old are your children, littleboyblue? Would you stop if they objected?

The "they're my children and I'll do what I like" line doesn't cover all things you know. People are allowed to judge, and sometimes people should judge, when parents are causing harm to their own children.

You do have a right to your own opinions and a right to smoke. Don't your children have some rights too though, such as not being forced to breathe in toxic chemicals and carcinogens? Or do they not get any notice?

Not judging, just asking a simple question.
As for opinions, the medical profession more often than not are correct in their opinions.

It's the children I feel sorry for. That's the end it now.The bottom line is,as a mother surely you do whatever you can to protect your babies from anything that may do them harm?we all make mistakes as parents.but they're usually spur of the moment things you look back on and regret.not things you repeat or do deliberately.surely you could wait until you get home and step out into the garden for a fag?!no journey can be that long

It's not really your place to judge me or make comments like that really. They are my children and I'll do whatever I want whether you judge me or not.
You have a right to your opinions and I to mine, that's the end of it.

Littleboyblue, two words: LUNG CANCER
How about you ask your children if they like you smoking in the car and I think we can all guess what their answer would be!!

btw: thanks for welcome Mrs D

yanbu it is truely low. Selfish bastards. I really dont understand how a parent can actively choose to increase their child's likelihood to get cancer.

Why would you do it?

Ps smoked for 20 years NEVER smoked in a car with children in.

I smoke in the car with the window open. I feel that's ok for my children. I wouldn't do it with other peoples.
I know lots of people that think this is unacceptable, but then they all do things I think are unacceptable, so it's all about what you are happy with for your family.
I don't think anyone should be judged for it. By all means, we all have our opinions on these things, but to judge is UR I feel.

Yanbu at all MB, it's so selfish. I feel similarly when I see pregnant women smoking so I understand your strong language!

Welcome to MN btw

Lol nancy66, it's amazing how many photos there are of me as a baby with parents/grandparents/other relatives with fags worryingly close to me and big plumes of smoke creating atmosphere

They must have all been chain smokers! Ahh nostalgia....

i think youre the one who should get a life..must have taken quite a while to think of that!!

What the hell are you lot on about. I smoke all the time in a car and i don't care less .
As for lingo, lmaorof btw imho wtf!!! Get a life

lol...pst...netmums is like swearing, don'tchaknow...

ahhh,all becomes clear.have sat some nights trying to work out what yanbu and uabu mean.also took a while to suss dh,ds etc mean..am making headway!i used to be on ntmums but the threads were never as funny/feisty as here

mother....don't let being new stop you...you will end up loving mumsnet and become all fluent in mn speak( a posh version of text speak....although, OP is just general Internet forum lingo....)

OP = Original Poster

sorry!seem to have confused everyone.am very confusing in general i find!.am probably being dense but what does op stand for?!like i said,am new to this

lol...glad it isn't just me...not that it takes a lot to confuse me, lol

X-posts.....

Nope it's not just you Fairlady, I'm confused also

Sorry FairLady, I read as OP as ex-smoker though never having smoked in the car with the DC's.....

like I said...I agree with you, and am an ex-smoker, but nt smug, as far as I am aware....lol

oh right...that makes sense...

fairlady,maybe you did mean me and i wasn't clear when i said i had never done it..what i meant was had never smoked in car with child.Also my cousin used to smoke pot infront of her child when i was a teenager (she was older than me but had had her child very young)Again, i was no saint (12 years ago..a lot changes!)and i look back and wish id had the balls to say something to her.I don't have a relationship with her now because of how i feel about how she treated her child.There were other things she did too,that should never have been witnessed by a child.I felt i didnt want that type of person in my life,if even at arms length.Morloth ..thanks for making me feel better about cigars,might nip out with my v&t into the garden now the rain has stoppedmadhairday..i would not class your dad as scum!!it was so different back then..we didn't have the information we do now..Id love to hear someone try to defend themselves if they do it though!...now,where did i put my big wooden spoon..

no...boys...don't think I got this confused...meant this post by op:
"By motherbeyond on Fri 03-Jul-09 18:07:37 I'm new here so didn't realise this was a common topic..although that sounds really stupid now ive said it.Of course it would be.I agree about the smug ex-smoker thing by the way,but don't think i am at all*.*How can i be when i have never done it....(well and then the following, but am losing the will here with the highlightin ..I remember being in a car with someone once who had a small child and was smoking.I was 18 and very unsure of myself I was desperate to say something,but didn'h have the nerve.I was a full on smoker at that point,by the way,was dying for a fag..but would never in a million years have smoked in a car with that baby.I just remember thinking,this poor kid,i want to get out and not be involved in this...so there you go.I did not say anything to the women today,I thought if theyre prepared to do that to their kids they obviously don't give a shit about anyone,or anything.would rather not risk confrontation with people like that.Also would hesitate to say anything with my children present incase they said something bad...and then i would be forced to open a rather large can of whoop ass!(before anyone says i'm just as bad,i is jokin'!) "

Its amazing how much has changed in a relatively few years.

When I was a kid is was perfectly acceptable to be dandled on your grandads (or granma's) knee whilst having woodbine smoke blown in your face (I have the photos to prove it).

Then we moved on to just smoking around kids (my dad was an 80 a dayer at one point). I am sure I used to be sent to get his fags.

Then it was smoking in another room or only when the kids went to bed.

Then it was on the balcony or in the garden.

Now I really cringe at the thought of anyone who has just had a fag even touching a newborn.

I remember clearly my dad smoking in hospital (actually in bed), teachers smoking in class and the underground being thick with fag smoke.

Its much better now and I am not rabidly anti smokers. Its up to the individual if they want to but its really hard to understand why anyone would now we know all we do.

I love to smoke when I go out for a drink. I feel soooo norty.

But YANBU OP. The only thing worse is smoking in a car with kids not strapped in whilst talking on your mobile.

YANBU scum scum scum

Erm, FairLady, I was the non smoker - OP said she smoked pre-pregnancy....

erm op...now you are not making sense to me as you said in one post that you can't be a holier than thou ex-smoker, because you never were a smoker, and than go into a story of being a passenger in someones car who smoked whilst kid in there and you mention that you felt uncomfy dispite craving a fag ????????????

I think it was different before people knew how dangerous it was, but now? When the warnings are everywhere?

I'd go with scum.

yanbu

My dad trapped us in the car with his fags all the time as kids. I wouldn't say he was scum, a strong word there, and prob not even thoughtless as there just wasn't the knowledge at the time.
However, I ended up with chronic degenerative lung disease. Can't have helped, so YANBU. I do admit to judging if I see people doing this, because I know what a struggle life has been for me.

I had this thought earlier today in supermarket car park - although don't recall actually thinking scum but was probably along those lines.

What appeared to be baby boy (seemed around 6 months as seemed similar to DD2 who is that age right now) was carried to car by mum with grandma pushing the trolley.

Baby put into lovely carseat in back of car - all reclining and made me quite jealous as DD2 just gets our old Graco that I think she flops a bit in(!) and then, after unloading shopping, Mum and grandma both lit up before driving off.

I have never smoked so can't say how desperate you might be for a fag after a trip round the super market, but it did strike me as very nasty to smoke in the car with little baby. I would not and do not let anyone smoke around my children - or me, ideally, either.

I, for one, have never smoked so the evangelical ex-smoker does not apply to me, yet I still think its disgusting.

My mother smokes and if I'm ever in the car with her without my DS's (she wouldn't dream of smoking with them in the car) and she lights up, I open the window and practically hang out of it to avoid the choking smoke. Its foul, I'm all for personal choice, so please yourselves (can't see the appeal myself but ho hum) but don't put your poor children through it.

We smoke cigar occassionally - have had a couple lately with the nice summer nights outside.

I don't feel guilty at all, I enjoy it a great deal. DS has seen us smoke them (but never in the house), we view them the same way as other "vices" they happen very rarely and they are very very good ones. If DS grows up to enjoy the occasional cigar with a glass of wine every 6 months I won't consider that a disaster.

sorry about mistypes..am lazy and not very practised typer

well that's your perogative.Have to admit,we've just returned from a holiday in the sun,and my husband occasionaly has a cigar (the small thin one's,i can say he's probably has maybe 5 this year,so was suprised when he bought some whilst we were abroad..but anyway)he had one on the balcony whilst i was reading.I jokingly asked for a puff and at first thought ,yuk!Then i had a few drinks and said,gimme one of those things!!I smoked the whole thing(it's scry how quickly you can fall back into it..although i don't think i could stomach a fag ever again!)anyway,my 15 month old woke up and started cring and i went into soothe him.I immediately felt completely disgusted with myself.I didn't want to touch him until i'd washed the smell off my hand's,or kiss him til id brushed my teeth..and i even felt guilty that he'd smell it off my clothes.I felt i'd really let them down.Im sure it sounds ott but that's how it felt.So,to that end, i cannot for the life of me,understand how people rationalise it to themselves,that it's ok to smoke round children

I smoke, outside, never around my baby. No need to smoke in a car at all, it can wait.

I'm new here so didn't realise this was a common topic..although that sounds really stupid now ive said it.Of course it would be.I agree about the smug ex-smoker thing by the way,but don't think i am at all.How can i be when i have never done it.I remember being in a car with someone once who had a small child and was smoking.I was 18 and very unsure of myself I was desperate to say something,but didn'h have the nerve.I was a full on smoker at that point,by the way,was dying for a fag..but would never in a million years have smoked in a car with that baby.I just remember thinking,this poor kid,i want to get out and not be involved in this...so there you go.I did not say anything to the women today,I thought if theyre prepared to do that to their kids they obviously don't give a shit about anyone,or anything.would rather not risk confrontation with people like that.Also would hesitate to say anything with my children present incase they said something bad...and then i would be forced to open a rather large can of whoop ass!(before anyone says i'm just as bad,i is jokin'!)

I hate smoking ...but I do get misty eyed when I look at all the family snaps of me as a baby and my dad cradling me with the ash from his fag about a centimetre from my face.

Disgusting habit <hides bensons>

oh it doesn't mattr how many of these threads there are, i can't vigorously agree how disgusting it is too often!

Na, scum seems a good word to me. Can these people not wait a few mins?

I can't think of a single reason why you would need to smoke in a car with kids. So I am going to go with YANBU.

scum is a bit harsh though, thoughtless would be more appropriate.

evangelical ex-smoker = OP

(I think?)

was that to me?
If so...may I just point out, I didn't start the thread...however....like I said, I didn't smoke in teh car when I was still smoking...nothing to do with my personal ex-smoking status......and I am not evangelical...
I don't think

and yes SEA of course there ar worse things...but it isn't nice, is it....inhaling smoke in confined areas....

on the wright stuff they were argueing it could be seen as child abuse...iirc...but I think that goes a bit to far...

well i can think of a few worse things, like chinese water torture, or having to chew your own leg off

well i can think of a few worse things, like chinese water torture, or having to chew your own leg off

exactly dsi

well Ewe...but people don't always have time to search old posts, etc.....

like I said, if people are bored with something, why not jsut ignore it....easy enough done, isn't it?
I am sure tehre are plenty of threads that will appeal....

I mean, it doesn't matter to me, just, well..if ya bored, than why waste time on somehting that bores you

Ugh

There is really nothing worse than an evangelical ex-smoker.

I just think doing the same thread every two weeks is a little counter productive for what is supposed to be a diverse chat forum.

I often post on these threads as I was one of those children in the back of a car with a chain smoking Dad and a Mum smoking as well, my brother and I would hang our heads out the window but were told we were letting in the cold. It would sting our eyes and cause us to cough, oh yes and my Dad would roll down the window but it would still blow in.

Sorry but I would rather have a nicotine withdrawing driver than allow anyone to smoke over my DC in a car, stick a patch over his gib, he has a choice children do not.

Yawn.

does it matter Ewe...if it has been done to death (which is very likely) and you are NOT interested, why not just hide it?

Haven't we done this to death yet?

did you say anything to them?

funny enough they were only talking about this very thing on the Wright Stuff, either this week or last week!
Fwiw....I totally agree with you OP....I used to be a smoker, but smoking in enclosed spaces , especially with Kids around, is unacceptable...even windows open is not really a good idea....

smoking in cars full stop is kinda vile...and neither dh nor I would do that, when we were still smoking...

I didn't name change.I have never posted before but have read other threads with interest.I thought the word scum,may raise an eyebrow or two,but am sticking to my guns on this one.I know it's a strong and unpleasant description but i feel it's use under these circumstances is warranted.I cannot possibly imagine a situation where this would be acceptable.To me it's an entirely self centred ignorant act.I was a smoker myself until i realised i was pregnant,but even if i had restarted after the birth,there is no way i would have smoked in a car with my children...and disturbinglysexyinactive...if my nasty judgemental attitudes are all i pollute my kids with...at least theyre unlikely to get lung cancer through passively inhaling them!!!

I'm with Mother here.....it's disgusting!!!!

DH smokes, with the window open, while dd is in the car. The smoke goes out the window. Much safer than having dh driving whilst in angry nicotine withdrawn state. I wish he would give up, but he doesn't want to give up enough. I think that the smoking in public places was right, banning smoking in private places is too nanny state for me.

did you namechange fror this thread motherbeyond?

I do so love the word scum so very evocative

here we go...

<<<lights fag and sits back>>>

*Pulls up a chair*

I'm just not inclined to agree with anyone today. I will be the sole YABU voice on this thread and condemn you for polluting your children with your nasty, judgmental attitudes.

Am guessing most people feel this same about this subject.I was just out in our village with my 2.A car pulled up and two women got out of the car smoking.Fair enough.They then proceeded to open the back doors and let two primary school children out and a toddler.This makes my blood boil.What are these people thinking.It's bad enough when they are walking along pushing a buggy with a fag in their hand,at least they're outside.To trap children ina car and force them to inhale fumes from their death sticks,is beyond comprehension.one word springs to mind.scum.Harsh,but true imo