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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gardener moved in!

143 replies

Mom757855 · 10/06/2022 05:59

About a month ago our gardener turned up on our doorstep with all his stuff in bin bags. His partner had thrown him out. He had no where to go, so we let him stay with us. We are not friends and have a professional relationship but we have enough room for him and he would have slept in his car otherwise. He says he will start to look for a rental this week but he’s been understandably quite low and hasn’t started yet but I trust he will.
The problem is he likes to go to the gym at 5.15 am and it wakes us all up. Is it unreasonable to ask him to go at a later time? We have two small kids and my husband has a very demanding job.
thanks

OP posts:
QuidditchThroughtheAges · 10/06/2022 06:01

It's bizarre he came to you! Tell him he's got a week to find somewhere else. How bizarre

girlmom21 · 10/06/2022 06:02

Can't he go to the gym without waking everyone up?

It's very kind of you to let him stay.

PAFMO · 10/06/2022 06:03

Literally incredible.
Is he very handsome and offering additional benefits?
Is your name Constance?

ProperVexed · 10/06/2022 06:04

Quite amazing.
It is your house.
Tell him to go late.
Better still tell him to go completely.

TibetanTerrah · 10/06/2022 06:05

Errrmmm why are you letting him stay? Why did he choose you to randomly descend on? Confused

are you charging him any rent? This could get put of hand quickly.

Re the gym, if you think its going to be really short term, I'd ask if he can change the gym to the evening. I assume he's getting it in before work and if he can't go in the evenings as its too busy or whatever then he needs to make sure he is as quiet as a mouse and doesn't wake you, otherwise he will have to find somewhere else to stay.

BEAM123 · 10/06/2022 06:23

PAFMO · 10/06/2022 06:03

Literally incredible.
Is he very handsome and offering additional benefits?
Is your name Constance?

🤣🤣

Winterfellismyhome · 10/06/2022 06:26

Im sorry, what? This is so weird

ChagSameachDoreen · 10/06/2022 06:31

Did this honestly happen??

I can't imagine allowing someone I barely know to live with me.

He's a CF and you're a mug!

Cherrysoup · 10/06/2022 06:32

Seriously? Very odd.

PetersRabbitt · 10/06/2022 06:35

No way this is true. Some random turned up and asked to stay and you said yes!

Someone is sleeping with the gardener….is it you? Or worse….your partner!!

SunnyLobelia · 10/06/2022 06:37

You allowed a person you don't know who had been thrown out of his home by his partner for reasons you may not know (or be told the truth of) and you allowed him to stay with you and you have young children?

What a trusting thing to do.

veggiesupreme · 10/06/2022 06:38

I would give him to the end of the week to find a new place!

chilliplant634 · 10/06/2022 06:40

I don't think this is real...

Dalekjastninerels · 10/06/2022 06:42

OP

This was very kind of you; but he is unbelievably inappropriate and never should have asked you in the first place.

I hope he keeps his promise and is out soon.

Dalekjastninerels · 10/06/2022 06:43

chilliplant634 · 10/06/2022 06:40

I don't think this is real...

Explain yourself.

NotTheWomanIWas · 10/06/2022 06:43

At least he's on hand to trim your bush 🤷‍♀️

StressedMumm1e · 10/06/2022 06:45

If you can afford it, give him the money for a night or two in a hotel and tell him to move out.

why would you let a man you don’t know move into your house? And you have children?

Original poster
Mom757855 · 10/06/2022 06:45

I should add:
He has been our gardener for nearly 10 years, so whilst not a friend, we do know him well and trust him.
We are lucky that our houses has room for him and felt we couldn’t leave him to sleep in his car- he asked initially just to store his stuff with us!

ps- sadly he’s not a muscly 21 year old love island style contestant or id mind being woken up by him less! 😆

OP posts:
newnamethanks · 10/06/2022 06:53

Oh dear, digging a hole for yourself with this one.

Hollywolly1 · 10/06/2022 06:54

This is so funny 🤣 but I suppose when you answered your door you you were caught off the hop but unfortunately that was your time to say no as now its trickier.
Do you have a pool house you could let him stay in for a while,this is like something out of a creepy film

Dalekjastninerels · 10/06/2022 06:56

Mom757855 · 10/06/2022 06:45

I should add:
He has been our gardener for nearly 10 years, so whilst not a friend, we do know him well and trust him.
We are lucky that our houses has room for him and felt we couldn’t leave him to sleep in his car- he asked initially just to store his stuff with us!

ps- sadly he’s not a muscly 21 year old love island style contestant or id mind being woken up by him less! 😆

Hope he doesn't get too comfortable at your house and is there longer than he promised- then things might become unpleasant.

I hate confrontation though, so I would have said no at the start anticipating him saying I can't find anywhere to rent.

balalake · 10/06/2022 06:59

Given how long daylight is at this time of year, reasonable to ask him to get up later, as he can fulfil his work into the evening if needs be.

Hollywolly1 · 10/06/2022 07:01

He might secretly fancy you so just moved .Are you feeding him as well and has he his own bathroom because I can imagine a gardener would be fairly sweaty by evening and dirty.I can't believe this is real as its so funny but if it is real he needs to leave asap

Merryclaire · 10/06/2022 07:01

I hope he does a bloody good job on the garden!

As you’ve already let him stay with you, you can’t easily kick him out without ending his services. If you don’t want to do that, I would ask him every day about whether he has managed to find somewhere yet. Perhaps show him some good listings you’ve found.

And absolutely I’d mention the early wake ups to him! Asking him to not wake you all up at 5.15 should be the least of your worries!

CaliforniaDrumming · 10/06/2022 07:02

PAFMO · 10/06/2022 06:03

Literally incredible.
Is he very handsome and offering additional benefits?
Is your name Constance?

😁

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