Should I complain to neighbours

[Carol2013]

I moved into a new build 4 months ago and have NEVER even seen my next door neighbours, let alone spoken to them. The houses are designed with living at the back so we're never really at the front of the house to see them coming or going. My partner has spoken to the husband though who seemed nice and they have 2 little girls.
Anyway, everything was lovely and quiet for the first few weeks but, we notice they must have bought a TV for their bedroom and they have it up REALLY loud. Last night was particularly bad and kept us awake. I could even hear it downstairs when I was watching TV. They did turn it off just after 10pm so wasn't on late.
So, my question is - is it worth complaining? (in a nice way of course). I'd like to try to nip it in the bud early and I'm sure they don't realise how loud it is. I just feel really awkward with confrontation and especially as I've never even spoken to them before.
I did think about putting a note through the door along the lines of "hi neighbour, sorry to post a note but as we've not met yet I felt a bit uncomfortable knocking......". Obviously I would be clear that I'm sure they can hear us too etc etc.
I'm sure people have way worse neighbours than this (we have had horrendous ones in the past) but its something that is affecting our sleep so feel it could become stressful if just left .
What does everyone think?

[flipflap75]

I'd talk to them. I was in a similar situation - had never met my neighbour and our first contact was me turning up on his doorstep in my pyjamas to complain about noise.

He was brilliant and we had a great relationship for 4 years afterwards (did involve us agreeing to go out once a month when he was having one of his 'music nights', but he was like a mouse the rest of the time.

[HaveNoSocks]

Absolutely no harm in approaching them politely. That would definitely bother me too. They might be able to dampen the noise quite simply or just keep it down a bit without it being any bother to them.

[Carol2013]

That is a positive story. I just hope my neighbours are understanding. I really wanted to knock last night but they have 2 young kids and was worried I'd wake them (even though we were kept awake).
I've been reading other posts on here about neighbour issues and mine do probably seem trivial. I just have awful memories of a previous neighbour who had parties constantly and it made our life hell. My partner and I have already been arguing about it because he thinks we shouldn't say anything in case we fall out.

[AnnetteKertan]

Talk to them rather send a note. They probably have the tv on the wall so the sound travels straight into your room. Tey probably don't even realise. I only discovered this when.i was on the receiving end

[Elphame]

I'd go knock on the door one afternoon rather than post a message through - the written word can definitely be taken the wrong way at times.

[Chewie1986]

If it happens more than once quietly and politely address it rather than 'complain'

[Carol2013]

Yes I think speaking directly might be more polite than a note. I just hate things like this.

I will wait until the next time it happens then knock and speak to them. I definitely don't want to complain. I'll just tell them its the 'thin' walls of these new build houses and that we are probably noise too. We might well be!!!!

[YelloDraw]

It is nearly christmas - great time to go an introduce yourself and say the TV is pretty loud thru the wall.

[Carol2013]

Yeah it is. Maybe I'll take a Xmas card with me too.

[IAmNotACat]

Just tell them. No need to complain. They probably don't know you can hear it.

[GladAllOver]

Are you sure that their loud TV isn't a message that they can hear your noises through the wall?

Or perhaps they have turned up the TV up to cover up other bedroom noises :)

[Carol2013]

Ha, well lets not get into 'other bedroom noises' as we have heard those a couple of time too. THAT I can laugh at.

I'm sure they can hear us too and if they say we make noise I will be mortified and more than happy to keep it down.

I can say, we are boring and go to bed early and there are no 'other bedroom noises' from us!

[cricketballs]

When we had a new TV in the living room (with its back to the shared wall) our neighbours complained about the noise - turns out there were speakers at the back that we didn't know about; took 2 seconds to turn them off and restore neighbourly relations again

[Carol2013]

So just a follow up. I plucked up the courage to go round and speak to the wife before Xmas. I was very apologetic and said that I was sure they could hear us, walls are thin etc etc. She was nice enough but denied having a TV in the bedroom (??) and said that perhaps it was her living room TV. I then just made polite conversation and left. Things did quieten down for a while but now its worse than ever!!! Oh and I can see their great big TV which sits right in front of the window of their bedroom.

Last night I struggled to sleep and my partner had to move bedrooms. Not sure what to do now, I'm so angry I can't face going round again after she lied to me about the TV in the first place.

Do I try a note through the door this time? Or should I just accept they are horrible neighbours and walk around with earplugs??

[TENSHI]

Complain again.
Take photo's.

Record the noise.

Record the times of noise in a journal.

Ring your local environmental health/council.

Write a letter to the neighbours, cc to the council.

Keep being proactive until you get the result you want.

Don't understimate the impact this could have.

Your mental health is at stake actually if you seethe inside without doing anything so please don't think you have to put up with it.

[Carol2013]

Thanks! Its already affecting my moods and I wake angry in the mornings. The fact I have already complained about it and they have ignored me is what makes me angrier.

I've even put a TV in my own room with the intention of turning it up really loud but not sure I want to start all that (TV wars). Plus I dont want to give them the excuse to say our TV is loud!!

I might see how things are over the next couple of days, then put a very polite note through their door! I can't face talking to them again.

[Carol2013]

Oh and last night was especially bad as it went on well after 11pm!

[AhNowTed]

OP just assume she has a TV in the bedroom. Don't make any reference to her denial. Say look I'm sorry but your TV in the bedroom is keeping us awake, I'm sure you're not aware of it but the noise really travels...

She won't dare deny it again, and if she does look sweet and say oh I thought I saw it through the window.

[Carol2013]

Thanks. I never doubted she had a TV until she denied it - its clearly on the other side of our bedroom wall.

She even tried to say they don't sleep in that room (its the master bedroom with an ensuite). OK that might be true, but not according to the embarrassing noises I heard one night!!! Not sure why she went to such lengths to make out I must be mistaken......

I wouldn't dare mention her denial of the TV.

[TheElephantofSurprise]

Put your own television there. As soon as theirs goes off, put yours on, at similar volume. They'll get the message.

[Carol2013]

Well I thought about that but my partner won't let me do it!! He thinks it will makes things worse. Plus, if I did escalate things they may record our TV noise too so I wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

[Bushymuffmum]

Suggest earphones? What a cheeky cow, u should definitely go round again and if she denies having it in her room just give a little laugh and say "don't be silly, I scan clearly see it through the window"
This is why I will never live in an attached house again, what other people consider a perfectly fine way to live is inflicted on you. My mum lives in a Victoria. Terrace and her house smells like she smokes 50 bensons a day - she doesn't, it's the old geezer next door!

[QuimReaper]

No no no, don't get into TV wars!

What a nightmare OP. I'd try the husband this time, it's too awkward to go back to the wife after she was weird about it.

Failing that you'll have to try going round when the TV is actually on.

Offer to pay for some kind of insulation, there must be something you can put behind televisions to stop the sound travelling through the wall they're pushed up against.

[Bluntness100]

That's really necky. People really are such tossers sometimes. Instead of just saying "sorry, will keep it down in future" to actually lie about having a tv in there in the first place is beyond bizzare behaviour, particularly if you can see it as well as hear it. Honestly the mind boggles at the twattish behaviour of some people. 😞

[riceuten]

We moved house because of noisy neighbours (this was music BLASTING out till at least midnight and often 2-3am at weekends). The guy was a nightclub bouncer and deeply unpleasant and felt it was his "right" to play music when he felt like it.

Not long after we moved in, our neighbours on one side moved a telly into the room, on the adjoining wall next to our bedroom; they had invested in a Dobbly [sic] 5.1 Surround Sound system, and it might as well had been in our bedroom, such was the clarity and efficiency of the sound system. This was not helped by them working odd hours so they were watching TV between 12-3am. We spoke to them, they were mortified, and they moved the whole system to another bedroom.

Our other neighbours are pensioners and a bit deaf, so we put up with them having the radio on full blast at 8am most mornings - thankfully they go to bed at 9.30pm, and we are nightowls, so we don't suffer that much. In this case, we haven't mentioned it.