to think it's strange teacher asked child if he was told off at home??

(61 Posts)
Newtothis123 Fri 11-Nov-16 20:12:17

Joined today as have heard this site is helpful!
Son is is year 1 and unfortunately he hit another child on Monday, I apologised to the parents and he made the child a sorry letter.
On Wednesday when I collected him, his teacher said he had to be spoken to again after pushing another child over.
Son is very upset on the way home, is adamant it didn't happen, he was running and bumped into him and the other child said " Now I'll get you into trouble " and went and told on him
Lunchtime lady seems to have handled it well, told my son to be more careful if it was an accident but if it was on purpose it's not kind etc
So I mentioned to the teacher that evening ( parents evening ) what my son had said and asked it was looked into what exactly is meant to have happened, I said I didn't want him to feel that he was being assumed to hurt people after only one incident.
Yesterday the teacher was off sick so nothing was said but this morning she mentioned that it was a failing on her part, she was handed it over briefly and didn't understand my son had said it didn't happen so assumed he had admitted it.
Other child was spoken to again yesterday and had admitted it was an accident now.
I said I would appreciate my son being spoken to and that explained to him as I don't want him to worry about it or to feel he wasn't believed and teacher said she would.
At pick up she said she had, that it was all fine and she was very sorry.
Son said on the way home she said " did your mum or dad tell you off for what happened at school Wednesday? "
He said " no "
She then said " I didn't realise it was an accident so I would like to say sorry for not checking with you and finding out the full story "
Just seems odd to ask him if we told him off, especially when I had only informed her he was denying it happening a few hours later at parents evening!
So not as if I just blindly believed school and punished him for something that turned out not to be true.

MiniCooperLover Fri 11-Nov-16 20:15:23

I think you're def over thinking this. Teacher felt bad he was potentially told off for what then appeared to be an accident. End of story.

Imaystillbedrunk Fri 11-Nov-16 20:16:37

Perhaps she was worried that he had been really told off at home and would have apologised to him for that too. I'm guessing she feels bad and wants to clear her conscience

Newtothis123 Fri 11-Nov-16 20:18:04

I guess so, but why would I tell him off when it was me saying I wanted it looked into as it seems to have been an accident etc!
Just seemed an odd thing to ask a child and he was confused by it but I Guess it could just be her feeling bad about it all

LockedOutOfMN Fri 11-Nov-16 20:18:55

Agree with two previous posters.

harderandharder2breathe Fri 11-Nov-16 20:18:57

Yabu, she was asking so she could make it clear that she was sorry and it wasn't his fault. Clumsily done perhaps but she apologised to you and most importantly to your son, let it go

Ameliablue Fri 11-Nov-16 20:19:29

Seems a reasonable thing to ask.

Nanny0gg Fri 11-Nov-16 20:21:12

That was fine.

Why did you apologise to parents over the first incident if school had dealt with it?

Ameliablue Fri 11-Nov-16 20:21:13

She probably didn't know at what point he told you it was an accident.

Newtothis123 Fri 11-Nov-16 20:27:45

But she did know as I told her at parents evening ( 3 hours after her initially telling me at pick up ) that on the way home he was upset and adamant it hasn't happened so it was quite clear
I apologised to the parents as they came over to me to ask why he had done it 😢
Very embarrassing but he wanted to make a sorry letter so I was happy with that
Just worried she thinks badly of me for some reason I guess - I'm not a hard parent, in fact quite the opposite so just thought it strange

FeliciaJollygoodfellow Fri 11-Nov-16 20:44:27

She doesn't think badly of you, this isn't a reflection on you it's that she feels badly that she told your son off for no reason!

Stop thinking about it. It's done and dusted. I also think the other parents are weird for speaking to you about the previous incident - kids hit at this age, they have poor impulse control. It's how they behave after it's been dealt with.

Namechangeemergency Fri 11-Nov-16 20:45:24

She sounds like a very nice teacher who is able to admit when she is in the wrong to both children and their parents

I agree that she was probably asking to find out if he had got into trouble because of something she had done.

I think you need to let all of this go now.

pontificationcentral Fri 11-Nov-16 20:49:56

Good God. Way overthinking. You are going to find the next few years really hard if you are going to do this every time ds bumps into someone or the teacher talks to him.
Let. It. Go.
Tbh, even bringing it up at parent teacher and insisting that they rehash it because he hadn't done it was OTT. Which is probably why she asked ds about it, because she knew you were overreacting (and ergo wanted to make sure ds was ok about it in the face of nutso parenting) Move on.

DixieWishbone Fri 11-Nov-16 20:52:40

I think you are over-thinking too. She was probably worried that your DS was told off for something he hadn't done and wanted to make sure he hadn't been. How else could she find out except by asking him? She sounds like a nice person, being willing to apologize to her students when she made a wrong decision.

w12newmum Fri 11-Nov-16 20:55:55

Yes def overthinking it. Be glad the teacher listened and apologised 😀

OutnumberedbyFurchesters Fri 11-Nov-16 20:58:43

Definitely over thinking... Maybe she meant "did you get told off between me telling your mum and her seeing me at parents evening on Wednesday" ??

Just sounds like she was trying to Firstly, bring it up with him and secondly, apologise for getting it wrong, and potentially getting him into trouble. Surely that's better than her thinking you wouldn't give a shit about him hurting someone, and not apologising to him at all??

I thought this was going to be some nasty teacher asking your DS "do you get told off at home?" Like she thought he was a little shit who never got told off for anything/did anything wrong and was mummy's little angel. Sorry but ... YABU.

Newtothis123 Fri 11-Nov-16 21:02:02

Agree with all of you, I just thought she would have gathered we didn't tell him off as addressed the fact it seemed to have been accidental on the same day.
She was probably worried she had caused him to be told off and felt bad but not sure what asking him would have actually achieved, had he said yes - what could she have done differently as she had already apologised!

SisterViktorine Fri 11-Nov-16 21:04:35

I agree that you are over-thinking.

Read a few of the threads about teaching on here so you have some insight into the huge pressure and strain teachers are under at the moment. Maybe then you will forgive your teacher for the odd lapse in chronology of events. I think the school seem to have dealt with it well all round.

When she asked your DS if he had been told off at home I don't think she was interrogating him about your parenting- she was just empathising with him about the situation he found himself in.

40somethingwonderful Fri 11-Nov-16 21:04:52

Yabu

Overthinking. Let it go

TheFear Fri 11-Nov-16 21:07:36

Yabu
I assume he's your eldest smile

Thetruthfairy Fri 11-Nov-16 21:25:18

Let it go, let it go.... :-)

user1467798821 Fri 11-Nov-16 21:28:32

Am impressed that she was able to apologise to your son, so often these days people in authority ignore the feelings of children. I say well done to that teacher, your son learnt that adults also make mistakes and that's ok.

user1477282676 Fri 11-Nov-16 21:30:00

It was her way of broaching the subject in a way he would not find tricky.

OP you really are over thinking it....she was being approachable and chatty to him...much as a child would.

"

Sweets101 Fri 11-Nov-16 21:42:54

Gosh. Who'd want to be a teacher.

Oly5 Fri 11-Nov-16 21:47:17

I think it's lovely she apologised!! Be thankful, other teachers wouldn't have.
And as for your analysis, I also think you're overthinking. All sounds v innocent to me

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