To think my husband is a fucking fuck!

[maybethedayafter]

I just got the baby to sleep and then FH (Fucking Husband) came in the fucking room and started fucking talking to me. What fucking idiot would think that's a good fucking idea! For fuck sake!

[Lalaloopsyscaresme]

Fucker. LTB

[rhiaaaaaaaannon]

What a fucker. I'd piss in his tea.

[iamdivergent]

I feel your pain. Mine sneezed earlier on = baby woke screaming, first he'd slept all day

[FanyUcker]

This seems over the top. Have you considered therapy?

[debbs77]

Oh that's really frustrating!!

[Euripidesralph]

Bastard.....one rule in our house and has been since eldest was born 4 years ago and was reinforced when ds2 was born 9 months

Baby asleep ? Don't move a fucking muscle....don't breathe don't cough .....and don't bloody talk

[FireSquirrel]

LTB

[originalusernamefail]

You wake 'em you take 'em! That's the rule in our house and has increased mine and DHs ninja skills x1000,

[scoobyloobyloo]

Mine stole the fucking soup out of the fridge and took it to work.

I'd managed to get the 12 week old baby to stop crying enough to go to Tesco the day before to get an easy to cook lunch for Friday.

I go to get said lunch out of the fridge AND THE FUCkER has taken it to work.

I text him to tell him I am DIVORCING him and he texts back with a helpful recipe for chicken soup which apparently will 'only take me 20 minutes to make'.

GAAAAH!!!

[TallulahTheTiger]

Total twat Defo LTB and leave with a loop of screaming child playing FOREVERRRR!!

[Rrross1ges]

Cunt! When DS was a week old he'd just come out of SCBU into my room in the hospital and WAS ASLEEP. "D"H turned up and lifted him out of his cot for a cuddle! Fuckchops!

[CathFromCooberPedy]

for you OP. He's an utter arsehole

[Dontyouopenthattrapdoor]

He's totally cheating on you.
Probably with hookers.
Check his phone.
Fucker.

;)

[RubbleBubble00]

Did you throw something at him?

[TallulahTheTiger]

Am venting as mine had the fucking arset idea to pour me wine and run a bath to get into once our DC had gone down- and popped head into room to whisper this and see how we were just as I was stealth boob detaching- twunt!

[derxa]

Love him

[TheGruffaloMother]

The only way to make him understand is to repeatedly do the same to him!

[mumofthemonsters808]

This needs reporting and logging, therefore I'd ring the Police.

[Bearfrills]

Flipping hell, OP. Does he have any redeeming features or is he just always trying to talk to you!?

[Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016]

Clean the loo with his tooth brush.

[Bearfrills]

Also, wait until he goes to sleep tonight then wake him up for a chat. You'll end up tired too but it'll be totally worth it to get your own back.

[chocolateworshipper]

Phone 101, complain to the chair of governors and take him to a&e

Failing that, the MN army can come round and rough him up a little

[oaadc]

You wake 'em you take 'em is fantastic

[maybethedayafter]

In my defence, he was talking shit. It wasn't important or even interesting.

Unfortunately DD saw it as an opportunity to have another feed so I couldn't make him take her. I also have some kind of rash on my nipple and it felt as though DD was using it as a chew toy. Now she's asleep, DH is gagged, food has been eaten which makes for a happier maybe.