Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3

AIBU?

Ain't in being upset at partners family visiting?

65 replies

Kmoggy · 16/07/2016 21:34

I have 11 month twins and 5 weeks away from having no 3. I can't decide whether Its hormones and crankiness causing me to feel this way or if I have a right to be upset!
My twins will be 1 in Aug, 5 days before my due date and we are having a party for them. His family are from down south (we are in Scotland) and he has invited his elderly grandparents up for it not for 1 night but for 4 nights 5 days! I'm furious as to be honest the last thing I want is having to look after 2 house guests for that amount of time, plan and organise a party for 40. So I tried to say to my partner that he better take the fri off work and entertain them so I don't need to but he can't get it off.. So now the fri before my boys birthday I need to have his grandparents sitting about in my house. My partner says they can help but how can they? His grandad can barely walk to end of street and bk and his gran is partially blind! Plus I can't get them in my car with the kids too!
So his mum is up tonight and I mentioned it to her that I'm a bit stressed about it as I don't want to leave them for 5 days sitting in house in hope she might have a word with them! She's only gone and openly suggested to his sister that she should come up on the fri to help, this would mean her sleep in on my sofa! 😁😁 I'm about to have a melt down... His sister is a soiled brat who doesn't lift a finger when here ever to help and plays dumb when her mum asks her to do anything so how on earth she can help me prepare food and bake a cake is beyond me.. Plus I don't need help, what I need is no one in my house for more than 1 night 5 days before I have a baby!!
Today I have had to talk to his mum and sis all day coz he doesn't and then he just said at 9 pm I'm going to bed! I was like emmmm no your not in going for a shower to wash my hair, then text him from upstairs to say how can he expect me to entertain his family all the time when he makes no effort himself? I'm 8 months pregnant and could do with a bit of peace and quiet but I'm not rude and wouldn't leave my guests sitting in their own all night!

OP posts:

Report

PhoebeGeebee · 16/07/2016 21:38

Sounds like this all stems from your DH not pulling his weight when it comes to his family. Can you tell him to sort it?

HumphreyCobblers · 16/07/2016 21:38

This is not even remotely reasonable behaviour from your DH. There would have been a murder if I had been landed with overnight guests for four nights at nine months pg.

If your DH will not stop this madness then you have to. You could have given birth by then!

Also start to do what you need to do and leave your DH to look after his guests/be rude to his guests as he sees fit.

Kmoggy · 16/07/2016 21:42

Yeah but it just falls on deaf ears! I honestly don't want his grandparents here thurs-mon. It's too much plus I'm worried baby comes early coz the last thing I want is people in my house when I get home from hosp! I feel like I'm being a bitch about it all amd over reacting.

OP posts:

Ledkr · 16/07/2016 21:43

Sorry but 😂 At soiled brat

Kmoggy · 16/07/2016 21:45

😂😂I know I can't work out how to get into edit it, my grammar is also terrible lol

OP posts:

Jodie1982 · 16/07/2016 21:46

You need to put your foot down. Otherwise he's going to continue walking all over you. Sometimes we have to unleash the monster in us i'm afraid.

PuntasticUsername · 16/07/2016 21:46

I have 11 month twins and 5 weeks away from having no 3.

YANBU.

Kmoggy · 16/07/2016 21:54

He doesn't get on with my mum much so I don't want to rock the boat too much about it, I'm worried he will be like this when my mum comes to stay and it bite me in the ass. Although my mum wouldn't even consider staying for 4 nights 5 days before I was about to have a baby 😂

OP posts:

PhoebeGeebee · 16/07/2016 21:54

If you don't want to do something, you have the right to say no. No questions asked. Tell him no one stays, end of. I take it he'll do none of the visitor prep? (Washing bedding, making up beds, shopping, meal planning, cooking etc...)

Biscuitbrixit · 16/07/2016 21:57

You're inviting 40 guests to a 1st birthday party

Blu · 16/07/2016 22:05

OP, the whole thing is bonkers. A party for 40 5 days before your due date, with or without house guests, is bonkers.

Tell your DH that either all guests stay at his Mum's or sisters, or the whole thing is off. And downsize. Your one year olds will have no idea it is their birthday.

Just be firm and say you cannot cope, that there is NO WAY you can have th around when you go into labour. Who is due to care for the twins when you are in hospital?

If being firm doesn't work cry.

But I think the party for 40 wants knocking on the head, too.

Kmoggy · 16/07/2016 22:05

Ha yeah that's including kids tho. Just family and friends plus 2 neighbours

OP posts:

HumphreyCobblers · 16/07/2016 22:07

You are not being a bitch and in fact you are under reacting.

Cancel the bloody party. The DC won't know or care. Make a cake for them and they will be happy!

HumphreyCobblers · 16/07/2016 22:07

Really, you could be in labour or have had the party. You will need space and privacy in your own home.

HumphreyCobblers · 16/07/2016 22:08

BABY, not party.

Kmoggy · 16/07/2016 22:11

All his family live in England and we are in Scotland. The party is excessive but mainly just family and friends with their kids! The party I can cope with as all organised so just needs put together. My aunt or cousin will take kids when I go into labour as they just live down the rd! Lol just cry😂😂 I do a lot of that already!
I'll defo need to say to him that they will need to get a hotel if I have baby before then or go into labour.

OP posts:

Wolpertinger · 16/07/2016 22:11

The baby will be unaware of the party. Cancel it.

Biscuitbrixit · 16/07/2016 22:11

I'm woth himphrey
Cancel party and say no to any overnight visits.

HumphreyCobblers · 16/07/2016 22:14

No, if you won't cancel the party then they need to go to a hotel anyway.

you need to look after yourself, your DH is being a complete arse

MephistoMarley · 16/07/2016 22:16

Why on earth did you think a party for 1 year olds, who won't know or remember any of it, days before you give birth again (or possibly after you have given birth, full term is 37 weeks) was a sensible or necessary thing to do? Who's idea was it?

Branleuse · 16/07/2016 22:16

this is madness. What if youre in labour?

I had an 11mth gap between my last two and I cant even remember his 1st birthday. Youre doing too much

RubbleBubble00 · 16/07/2016 22:18

Your mad planning a huge party 5 days before due date for a start. You have no idea what going to happen with number 3. I'd scrap big party, take twins for a day out.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

RubbleBubble00 · 16/07/2016 22:20

can grandparents stay with dp parents

Kmoggy · 16/07/2016 22:23

It was my idea to have a party but only for 3 hrs.. Then by time guest list was done it was up st 39 folk. To be honest I'm sure some won't come but I've never done it before and just going off what parties I've been to, thinking it's the done thing! All my family and friends live locally so will all pitch in re food, clearing up etc. It's only 1-4.

OP posts:

Kmoggy · 16/07/2016 22:24

If baby comes before then obv we will need to rethink it!

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.