Just turned age 3 DD in the bath tonight, playing with her bath toys as usual, suddenly says to me: "Granny says Father Christmas doesn't exist because he's not real".
DH calls MIL immediately after bedtime: MIL says self-righteously in defence of this: "Oh, but I don't believe in lying to children". MIL can be an somewhat difficult character and has a bit of a history of undermining me and DH on parenting issues. She also has high-functioning ASD so can see the world in more rigid terms than most, which we normally try to make lots of allowances for.
Because of a recent period of both DH and me both being quite ill and having work problems and no childcare help and no other options to keep our jobs, MIL has been looking after DD more than we usually like. This has also resulted in some brattish behaviour from DD as she has been indulged much too much. MIL doesn't like to set boundaries for children either, so for example doesn't say anything if DD hits or pushes her or other children - something we aren't that happy about, as though we are pretty gentle with DD we also like to set clear limits on what is and isn't acceptable behaviour. However I appreciate that if someone's looking after my child as a favour then I can't dictate too much how they do it.
MIL does tend to like to feel like she has a special bond with DD that slightly undermine our authority as parents. But this latest has upset both me and DH terribly - she is only 3 and we'd have liked her to have some of the magic of FC for a few more years. My heart breaks thinking of how excited she was last Christmas and how much in awe of the magic and the whole experience. She isn't a child who is likely to forget what MIL has said, and I feel pretty devastated about such a nice thing being taken away from her just because MIL wants to feel self-righteous about "not lying". I hadn't dreamt that MIL would do something like this.
AIBU to be so upset about it? Am I overreacting? It feels like MIL has really crossed a line here. You just don't do that to someone else's child, do you, especially one so young?
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AIBU?
To be livid almost to the point of feeling like going NC about this?
57 replies
georgetteheyersbonnet · 06/04/2016 21:44
OP posts:
EatShitDerek ·
06/04/2016 21:46
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