how to tell my mother I am pregnant

(55 Posts)
StillYummy Sun 28-Feb-16 15:51:18

I am pregnant! This baby is a lovely surprise after years of treatment to get DC1. DC1 is not yet a year old so it is quite a small gap. Firstly I want to get the scan out the way so I know the baby is ok but after that I am going to have to tell my mum.

When I told my mum I was pregnant with DC1 (after the first scan) she said "well don't tell anyone". She then continued to not say anything nice till my aunt had a word, when she finally text me congratulations... After my aunt did! Mum was not aware of all the treatments and investigations I had to go through because when I tried to tell her she cut me off with "I don't want to know".

So, how do I tell this woman who will be incapable of saying anything nice? She will say it is too soon, or embarrassingly soon or and accident. That will make me want to tell her to do one, witch is not the low stress option I am looking for.

Would I be unreasonable to text her "we are really happy to announce I am pregnant with a brother/sister for DC1. I thought I would tell you by text to give you time to process and then reply with your congratulations."

Or is that a bit leading?

TheSnowFairy Sun 28-Feb-16 16:32:48

How about:-

'I am really happy to tell you I am pregnant with a brother/sister for DC1. Love, Still"

Short, sweet and to the point.

And congrats btw flowers

PennyHasNoSurname Sun 28-Feb-16 16:35:06

Id just send a round robin and include her. She doesnt sound interested (or nice) enough to warrant you going out of your way for her.

StillYummy Sun 28-Feb-16 16:38:03

The problem is she is sensitive (about her, not me) and easy to offend so I will agonise over how to do it and then still get it wrong. Aaahhhhhh why can't I have a normal family?!

EponasWildDaughter Sun 28-Feb-16 16:38:37

Don't place any massive importance on this. Tell he in the same way you'd tell a mate.

''Pregnant with no.2! We are very happy. Just letting everyone know. Speak to you soon smile smile smile''

Let her do/say what she likes. It's your life.

ollieplimsoles Sun 28-Feb-16 16:38:52

Pft! What a horrible woman!

I wouldn't tell her at all op... And when she did find out I would tell her exactly why I didn't exactly rush to say anything..

Congratulations op what a lovely surprise for you I hope you have a happy, healthy pregnancy flowerscake

CrazyMary Sun 28-Feb-16 16:46:34

Is there a huge back story? Most Mums would be delighted at the news of becoming a grandmother (especially with the first dgc) maybe I'm naive

Quietwhenreading Sun 28-Feb-16 16:48:42

Write in her Mother's day card?

Owllady Sun 28-Feb-16 16:50:38

Don't tell her? I'd just keep it to yourself until you are further along

Footle Sun 28-Feb-16 16:50:49

Could your partner tell her ? Might get a more friendly reaction. Congrats, by the way !

EastMidsMummy Sun 28-Feb-16 16:51:58

Like this:

"I am pregnant! This baby is such a lovely surprise after years of treatment to get [****]."

You don't have to script or prompt her response. If she's going to be rude, she's going to be rude.

And congratulations!

janethegirl2 Sun 28-Feb-16 16:52:14

Send her a knitting pattern

aprilanne Sun 28-Feb-16 16:53:33

how about mum i am having an other baby is,nt it wonderful we are so happy to be having little brother or sister for dc1.. congratulations by the way what is her problem god my mother was delighted and told everyone apart from the postman maybe

TrinityForce Sun 28-Feb-16 16:53:52

Yeah don't tell her. Fuck that.

Psh giving her the time of day just for her to piss all over your chips.

But if you're slightly more mature than me, perhaps a round robin text of the likes suggested up thread. Congratulations smile

Crazypetlady Sun 28-Feb-16 16:56:49

I wouldn't even entertain her let her find out herself. She is a drama llama (unless their is a back story) putting on the dramatics taking attention from your lovely news

RudeElf Sun 28-Feb-16 16:57:10

Dont tell her. When she finally realises just say "well you werent happy for my first time so i didnt involve you this time"

HypnoticButton Sun 28-Feb-16 17:00:24

Congratulations!

Agree with telling her the way you'd tell a friend.

Short, to the point.

MadamDeathstare Sun 28-Feb-16 17:05:55

Phone her up to tell her, as you would a friend, and if she starts with any negative stuff tell her 'Whoaa DC1 just poured milk everywhere got to go'. and hang up.

EweAreHere Sun 28-Feb-16 17:07:19

Congratulations, OP. Lovely news.

Tell people who will be happy and excited for you first. It will cushion the non-interest. Don't take it to heart and try to remember her reaction is about her, not you.

slicedfinger Sun 28-Feb-16 17:08:47

I'd wait till I knew she would be out and leave a bright and breezy message on her answering machine. But I am a coward, and my DM was the same.

StillYummy Sun 28-Feb-16 17:09:42

No back story. She just has difficulty saying nice things to my face. She says them all behind my back hahaha

StillYummy Sun 28-Feb-16 17:10:28

I think generic text and immediate scan pic on face book. Now just gotta keep everything crossed for good news.

coconutpie Sun 28-Feb-16 17:12:18

Don't tell her? Wait til you are ready to announce it to everybody and then you can just send her a message then when telling everybody else. She doesn't deserve to be told in advance with how she treated the news of your first pregnancy.

Congrats flowers

coconutpie Sun 28-Feb-16 17:13:25

I would not put the scan pic on Facebook though!

Almostfifty Sun 28-Feb-16 17:14:08

How awful you're worrying about sharing news that should be joyful to everyone.

My DM was similar, never really bothered with her grandchildren, and I've always felt sad she missed out on so much love.

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