Phones at dinner table in restaurants

[ChocolateCupcake123]

AIBU to think that a) using your phone when in a restaurant is rude?

And b) that "hiding" it under the table and using it is no better!

For background we're talking about DP, when it's just the two of us, and he decides he needs to text someone/check the football score/read an email and it drives me NUTS!

Am I just being old fashioned? Is this the norm and to be expected now? I've told him time and time again that I think it's rude but he doesn't see the issue

[Quoteunquote]

Honestly ,it's appalling bad manners not to focused on the people you are actually with.

[DonkeyOaty]

It's rude

Find someone else to go out to dinner with

[KinkyAfro]

I take a phone for emergencies only, what your partner is doing is very rude imo

[SwearySwearyQuiteContrary]

What about keeping the phone out in case there is s babysitting emergency? If my phone is in my bag under my chair, I won't hear it.

[KinkyAfro]

That's different sweaty and not what op's partner is doing

[AFingerofFudge]

YANBU- it's the height of bad manners as my mum used to say and I wouldn't tolerate it at all.
The only time I think it's ok is when I sometimes go out to lunch with a friend when she's having her break, but needs to have her phone out for work and that's totally reasonable. She wouldn't just start checking her emails or stuff though.

[CMOTDibbler]

I hate it, and pull dh for having his phone out when we are out together generally, let alone in a restaurant

[StillDrSethHazlittMD]

Sweary How quiet is your phone then? I've never not heard my phone go off in my bag in a busy restaurant. And how did we all live pre-mobiles and we left babysitters alone for three hours?

While the mobile has made things convenient, a lot of manners have gone out of the window as a result. I once had dinner with a friend who pulled her phone out and was checking messages while I was talking to her. Later that evening as she was talking to me I just turned around and looked somewhere else in the restaurant. After about 30 seconds she stopped mid sentence so I turned back around. She looked at me indignantly and said "what was so interesting over there?" I asked how she felt that I had done that and she said "I thought it was rude!" I pointed out that was precisely how I felt about her reading texts on her phone.

She's never done it again.

[Missanneshirley]

If I am away from the kids I put mine on silent at the side of the table. That way if it pops up with anything I can see it but there are no noises coming from it. I don't reply to anything that comes in. If I left it with sound switched on in my bag it would ping away all night with messages from friends etc.

[LurkingHusband]

It is rude, but a sign o' the times, sadly.

What infuriated me, was whereas I have a work phone used for work, I managed to keep it off the table at meals. If we ever had MiL* around, she had to make a big show of putting her iPhone (naturally) on the table, and checking it every 3 minutes. (Although I had the pleasure of snarkily offering to get it fixed, as the ringer seemed broken). She was retired, made a big point about not being able to work, and had no friends - let alone family.

Not sure of the correct etiquette, really. How about reading at the table ?

*Luckily not a problem, since going NC

[MuddhaOfSuburbia]

it's RUDE

I always ask OH if he's expecting a Surveying Emergency

no? then put it away

[Sirzy]

In those circumstances yes it's rude.

[Fluffy40]

very rude of your partner

[lamiashiro]

I hate it. DH used to be terrible for this though it was generally work emails. Phones are banned from the table when we're eating out now.

[ExitPursuedByABear]

Very rude. Sometimes DH has to keep his phone on the table in case there is a work emergency and I can appreciate that.

But unfortunately this is the way things are going. For DD (16) and her mates, the phone is king.

[Toxicity]

It is so rude, I know someone who does this regularly and it drives me mental! I just think if you can't be in the moment with the people you are with then maybe just go home (or go and see the people you are texting)! Phew rant over!!

[megletthesecond]

Yanbu.

Although on the one occasion a year I go out without dc's I do check it every so often. Restaurants are too loud to hear mobiles.

[LineyReborn]

It's very rude, unless checking for something that affects the couple / family, e.g. children's arrangements, an interview result, that kind of thing.

[tomatodizzy]

It's odd. We went out last week for a pizza. Thursday night at one of the local restaurants is all you can eat and there are a lot of teens that go. There was a middle aged couple on the table in front and both were looking down at their screens. I found that sad so I looked at the other 20 or 30 tables and noticed that all the other people in the place were laughing and talking, not a phone in sight. This was nice because there were a lot of middle and high school aged kids who have the image of being addicted to their phones. I actually think the worst offenders are older.

[NotMeNotYouNotAnyone]

Using it under the table is even more rude imo than using it openly!

Yes if you need to be reachable for work or childcare or other valid reasons keep it out but ignored.

If im out with one person I'll be on my phone if they pop to the bar or the loo or whatever (and viceversa) but put it away as soon as they return.

And I speak as someone glued to my phone most of the time!

[CatchIt]

It is really rude! I once went out with some friends to a busy, pricey steak house. On the table next to us were a table of 4 and all of them were on their phones and didn't talk for 20 mins. What's the bloody point? You spend £40 to sit next to someone whilst texting someone else?! Madness I tell you!!

[ohtheholidays]

Very rude,our 5DC no there's no phones at the table when we go out for a meal,myself and DH would never use our phones either.It's the same at home when were sitting down for a meal phones are away.

[VimFuego101]

It's rude. I'm probably the worst phone addict in our house but they're banned at the dinner table.