For background, I'm 28, no kids, never been married. I've just started seeing someone that I met online - its been a few dates, some sex... but nothing too serious yet. He's a little older than me at 34, but I like him a lot, and I could see this going somewhere, at least in the short term.
Anyway, we went out for dinner last night and during a conversation about his living in a different country for a while he casually said "oh yes, I need to tell you something about that... I went because I was married and my wife got a job there". I don't think I reacted badly... I just sort of spluttered "oh?" as I wasn't expecting it! He then told me all the facts and there's no secret to it (no kids etc). I didn't really bring it up, just carried on with the night thinking "well its no different to having a long term relationship, so its fine".
However, on second thoughts today, I think I do mind! Not because I think that being divorced is some sort of stigma... but I guess because I feel like its such a huge step and its so very big a life experience to share with someone. I'm not jealous and I'm not worried about anyone else having lasting feelings... I think I am just... I don't know... worried that I cant live up to what came before?
Having never done it and never actually been asked to do it, despite some rather long term relationships, I guess I just always assumed that when someone asked me it would be because they thought I was "the one" for them. It's never really occurred to me that someone could have thought they found "the one" once before!!
I'm being ridiculous aren't I!
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
to care that he was married before?
62 replies
thetimestheyareachangin · 09/02/2016 15:55
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