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AIBU?

to worry about my 4 year old in Reception

55 replies

hottea · 03/01/2016 18:48

Long time lurker, 1st time poster. So please be gentleSmile

My daughter was born 7 weeks prematurely in August. There were few health concerns, but now she is a normal happy girl. She is the youngest in her school year. She started Reception this year and can so far do the following:

  • know all her phonics sounds and moved on to learning diagraphs
  • finished reading ORT level 1+ books (so can read cvc, cvcc, 25 tricky words and now words with diagraphs. But she still blends most words before reading, rather than reading on sight
  • can write most alphabets, but gets the letter formation wrong sometimes.
  • can spell some cvc words and most tricky words she knows
  • can write sentences with lot of support. Not all words sit on the line.
  • can count till 20, understands the concept of adding 1
  • can write numbers 1 to 20, but writing can have numbers flipped
  • her communication, sharing and playing in a group, going to toilet and behaviour is very good at home and school. She is also very happy at school and seems to take playground fights and friendship issues in her stride and often tells me to stop worrying about stuff! But I am a born worrier!


School has commented that her concentration is not good, motor skills need improving and needs to speak up in groups more.

I have also been told not to worry about her as even though premature, she is progressing fine.

But I guess I am human and I am concerned that her concentration is not what a 4 year old's should be or that of her classmates. Her drawing and colouring is also more basic compared to her friends.

So my question is based on the above, do I have reason for any concern? I am probably just being pfb. Thanks if you got this far!
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WildStallions · 03/01/2016 18:50

Based on what you've said she's doing really well!

It's really sad to hear that you are worried because she is doing brilliantly.

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SuburbanRhonda · 03/01/2016 18:52

Seriously, sounds like you have nothing to worry about. Is she happy?

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AliceInUnderpants · 03/01/2016 18:52

She's 4? What should she be expected to do?

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hottea · 03/01/2016 18:53

Thanks so much for that, WildStallion! Thanks for your prompt reply as well.

I guess I got so used to worrying about her from the time she was born as she had a difficult start to her life, that I am still scared that I might miss something if I take my foot off the pedal.

But you are right, I should be enjoying her and how well she is doing.

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Sirzy · 03/01/2016 18:53

Doesn't sound like there is much to worry about.

Keep an eye on her motor skills and seek help if it seems to be s problem but it sounds like educationally she is doing just fine

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hazeyjane · 03/01/2016 18:55

Sounds like she is doing great, honest!

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hottea · 03/01/2016 18:56

Wow, I am delighted at how soon the replies have come in! In real life, I find it difficult to talk about this much. It is nice to be able to be so open about this and get the reassurance. Surburban, she is happy, thanks. She is a happy little thing, always smiling and light of my life.

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SuburbanRhonda · 03/01/2016 18:57

Sorry OP just read that she's happy in school. Definitely nothing to worry about then, but do keep the lines of communication open with school in case something crops up.

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VegetablEsoup · 03/01/2016 18:57

nothing to worry about atm.
in other countries dc wouldn't be expected to write/read and focus more on fine motor skills and concentration.
reception is still for fun (mostly) and learning to socialise.

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Claireshh · 03/01/2016 18:59

Honestly, it sounds like your daughter is doing fantastic!

My son is 4.5 and knows his letters, can write his name, can't really form other letters or numbers properly yet. I do worry about him but his teacher reassures me that he will be fine. My son isn't even getting reading books home yet! They are SO little in Reception. As long as they are progressing and happy that is all that should matter at this stage. When my daughter started school her teacher told us at the information evening that by year 2 most summer born children will have caught up. Xxx

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Cabawill · 03/01/2016 19:00

My 4 year old DD is in Reception and is progressing well from when she started. She has hypermobility and struggles with writing so certainly isn't writing sentences yet.

Your DD sounds like she's doing great.

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Princessdebthe1st · 03/01/2016 19:01

Dear OP,
My 9yo DD was born 7 weeks early right at the end of August. She was and always will be the very youngest in her year. I was very worried about her starting school so early and chose her primary school on the basis of where I felt she would be best nurtured. She struggled with holding a pencil and drawing and writing initially simply because her hand muscles were not yet strong enough or her fine motor skills developed enough to be able to do it properly. She also struggled with stamina and was often found to be asleep on a Friday afternoon in the corner of the classroom. The school were completely fantastic and we were never made to feel it was a problem, it was simply where she was in terms of her development. Their and our patience paid off and she is now on the top table for maths and English and absolutely loves school. It sounds to me that your DD is doing very well (certainly more than my DD could do one term in) and so I would not worry at all. I wonder if the teacher was just looking for some thing to say as a focus for development as she was making good progress? At this stage keep the pressure off and just ensure she is happy in school, everything else will come. Xx

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thewavesofthesea · 03/01/2016 19:02

Is doing better than my July born boy was at that stage. There is a difference, possibly more noticeable in boys in kids born later in the year, my son probably struggled more socially than with the work in the early months. He was a bit below average at firast I think, but he is now in year 2, well above average academically and, more importantly, socially copes fine now and is happy.

Any difference you note now due to her age will like even out, if it hasn't done already.

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hottea · 03/01/2016 19:03

Claireshh, that is very reassuring. Thanks for that. Thanks to all the posters for taking the time to read and reply. Much appreciated.

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hottea · 03/01/2016 19:06

Princess and thewaves, that is great to hear! Well done to your dcs!

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Bryna · 03/01/2016 19:06

She is doing fantastic academically, so nothing to worry about there! Have you thought of enrolling her into gymnastics to help her gross motor skills/ core strength?And to have a bit of fun!!!! Both my DDs always get told to speak up more in class, that's just a personality trait!!

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madamginger · 03/01/2016 19:08

Ds1 is in reception and hasn't brought home reading books with words in yet. He knows his alphabet and knows the basic phonic sounds but hasn't done diagraphs or split diagraphs yet.
He is learning to write in cursive though which I find really odd but is on the new curriculum Hmm
I wouldn't worry, reception is about playing and learning just to be in school

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xmasseason · 03/01/2016 19:09

School has commented that her concentration is not good, motor skills need improving and needs to speak up in groups more.

Did the school have any suggestions as to what might help your DD with these?

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GinIsTheBestChristmasSpirit · 03/01/2016 19:09

She is doing some things my 5 year old DS can't do yet! Don't worry. Also about 80% of parents I know have been told low concentration in their infant kids. I had that comment with all 3. They are all well behaved though and all grew out of it by juniors.

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arethereanyleftatall · 03/01/2016 19:09

In the gentlest way, you are way overthinking this. Don't worry. She's 4.
My dd, also reception , I have no idea whether she can do most of the stuff on your list. She can read well, and that's all I'm interested in.
I'd only worry if her teacher says you should be, and she hasn't, just given you a few things to work on. That's standard, they have to say something.

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starry0ne · 03/01/2016 19:12

Sounds like she is doing really well...Most 4 year olds don't have great concentration..

For the motors skills you can do stuff at home, like dance swimming for gross motor skills , play doh painting for fine motor skills..( and only if she enjoys them) there are enough demands put on our little ones these days

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pudcat · 03/01/2016 19:12

She is doing well. She is only 4. Some of the children in her class will be nearly a year older than her. Her fine motor skills are still developing, especially controlling pencils to write. Help her by playing with play dough, threading beads, using large brushes to paint, letting her draw and scribble. Try not to compare her with her friends - all children are different. They have different abilities and talents - something I wish our education ministers would appreciate instead of trying to make all children reach a certain level in everything.

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wigglesrock · 03/01/2016 19:16

My youngest is in P1 (she's 5 in February), she couldn't do half those on your list, certainly nowhere near as much reading progression. She knows her letters, starting to read words, can write her name and some other words, can copy a sentence and I'm delighted with her progress Grin. She loves school, races in every morning, bounces about with her friends, has a laugh, learns some stuff, mixes well, is confident about speaking up, isn't afraid to share her ideas etc. We had a parent teacher meeting about a month ago and her very experienced P1 teacher is just as delighted with her as I am.

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ijustwannadance · 03/01/2016 19:16

Same levels as my march born DD. Sounds great to me. My sis is a teacher of reception. Most kids reverse letters and numbers when learning. Perfectly normal.

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KittyandTeal · 03/01/2016 19:17

I'm a reception teacher and I'd be happy if all my kids could do that.

Sounds like she's doing really well. The problem is as teachers we have it ingrained in us to find something a child needs to improve on, sometimes this makes patents worry unnecessarily

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